Life In The Cove
by Mirandabelle
Summary: NEW CHAPTER! At last... and I thought I couldn't find it, when it was uploaded all along! hehehe.. anyway, this cliffhanger is over.
1. August to September 1953: Coming Home

August-September 1953  
  
We got off the plane, and found our bags, Hawkeye didn't help me with them, but I didn't need it. I stuck close to him as we worked our way through the crowd, and I noticed with a smile, that the short skirt of my Class-A's, the brown high heels and shiny nylon stockings had men turning their heads as I passed them.  
  
Suddenly Hawkeye grabbed my shoulder, pointing. I saw what he was pointing at; Mum and Daniel were waiting for us. I gave a nervous gulp as I saw them waiting together, of course, they expected us together, and they didn't know of the divorce, how could they? There hadn't been time to tell them. But when I saw mum, I got that excited, I actually grabbed, and held Hawkeye's hand as I towed him over to them, and he'd been the one to point them out in the first place.  
  
"My Annabelle, is that really you?" Mum was staring, at me. I was different, I was dressed in my A's, which made me look older, and I was slimmer and more muscular than the last time mum had seen me. I was also wearing makeup to hide the black eye and I never wore makeup before Korea. My hair was longer too, and instead of the sensible bun I had always worn it in before Korea, It was tied in a high ponytail, and secured with a brown bow. I knew why Mum stared, she was comparing me to the little blonde baby she had given birth to 27 years before.  
  
"It's me Mum." I assured her. Mum was different from the woman I remembered. Her face looked more relaxed and youthful, having found real happiness with Patrick, but her hair was looking more grey than blonde. She was plumper too, my mother had always been quite thin.  
  
"Oh, Mummy!" I choked, wrapping my arms around her, I stayed quite still for a long time, crying onto her shoulder like a baby, and as her arms held me, rocking slightly, crooning soft, sweet words to me, I knew she was still my mother.  
  
We stayed like that for quite a long time, it was a relief beyond all relief to hold her again, to feel safe in my mother's arms. I could tell she needed to hold me too, knowing that one of her babies would never be able to hold her again either, my brother Jack, KIA.  
  
"Look at you Annabelle, you've got so strong." She gave my arms a little squeeze, feeling the muscle.  
  
"Yeah, well I had to do a lot of work there, and after the POW camp, I really was made to build myself up again."  
  
"Look at you, you're so strong!" She echoed, putting a hand on my abdomen, and her eyes widened suddenly. She knew what to feel for, she'd been pregnant many times over. "Annabelle Dawson, is there something you haven't told me?" I realised I'd never written home about the baby, there'd just been too much going on.  
  
"Can we talk at home?" I asked. Mum agreed, and we decided to leave. Daniel was driving us home; he'd taken mum to the airport, so they could meet us together.  
  
"Everyone's waiting at home to see you!" Mum turned around in the front seat and look at Hawkeye and I sitting in the back. "Rachael, Steve and Corey are coming for dinner tonight, and bringing Andrew, most of us will be together again. Patrick won't be there then though, he's out fishing till very late."  
  
"Oh, that's great! And I get to meet Jemma and Nat!" My brother and sister were about 14 months old, and I had never once seen them. I spent the rest of the car trip in silent joy, while Hawkeye remained in anxious silence, he didn't know how to tell his father that the elation of having a daughter- in-law would be short lived.  
  
"Here we are!" Daniel pulled into the driveway of a large white house, where most of my brothers and sisters milled in the front yard. Jeremy, Joe, Chris, Mimi and Eve were still in Tokyo or Korea somewhere, and Jack would never be there again.  
  
I got out of the car, and for a few seconds, everyone just stared at me, to them I was a stranger. I waited, knowing that they'd approach me when they were ready.  
  
"Annie!" It was Alice, my nearly 13-year-old sister. She ran to me, and threw herself into my arms. "Annie, I missed you so much! I love you Annie!"  
  
"I missed you too, my Alice, it's so good to see you again. Look at you, you're so tall!" I kissed the top of her blonde head. Alice's warm welcome woke everyone up, and slowly, they all began to greet me; hugging, kissing, and crying. Even Matthew, now 8 and 'too big for hugs', surprised me with a hug, and told me he missed me.  
  
"Annie, there's someone here who wants to meet you." It was my sister Lily, her beautiful black hair shining in the sun. She was holding two babies' hands as they toddled over the lawn my little brother and sister who I had yet to meet. They were beautiful, big brown eyes, soft brown hair, chubby dimpled features and matching blue overalls.  
  
"Hello, I'm your sister." I bent down, and anxiously Jemma tilted her head up to Lily, looking for reassurance.  
  
"Say hello to Annie," Lily let go of Jemma's hand and the little girl toddled a step or two and hurtled into my arms. I picked her up and swung her in the air, then I drew her close, and still shrieking with joy, she cuddled into my shoulder.  
  
"Up!" Nat held his arms up to me and I lifted him as well. With a toddler in each arm, I made my way back to Hawkeye, Mum and Daniel.  
  
"Mum, they're gorgeous, I suppose I should thank you for bringing them into the world Daniel."  
  
"You should Annie." Daniel, slightly taller than Hawkeye, somewhat greyer, but otherwise identical smiled and tugged my hair. Seeing him do that, Nat gleefully took a handful of my hair and pulled it too.  
  
"Ow, ow, Nat, let go honey, that's right." Handing Jemma to Mum, I disentangled his little fingers. Hawkeye was laughing, and I quickly put Nat in his arms. He looked surprised and then pleased.  
  
"Hi there Sport, I'm Hawkeye, I will still be related to them right?" He looked at me.  
  
"I guess so, we'll have to work that out." I replied.  
  
"Annabelle, of course he will be, he's married to you." Mum said. Hawkeye and I shared 'now's as good a time as any' glance. I took a deep breath.  
  
"See he was asking if he'd still be related, because we're getting a divorce, we only decided two days ago." Mum had put Jemma on the lawn and sent her toddling over to Lily. Hawkeye followed suit, and seeing something up, Lily herded everyone back into the house, leaving us room to talk on the front lawn.  
  
"Annabelle Felicity Amy Jane Dawson! What in the world is going on?" Mum demanded.  
  
"Benjamin! You've got some explaining to do!" Daniel ordered, and all of a sudden, we felt like two naughty kids caught doing something we shouldn't have. We explained what had happened, right down to the fight we'd had, and the injuries we'd caused.  
  
"Oh, Annabelle, how could you? You were always so sensible in college!"  
  
"Mum, I was drunk." I explained, as if that fixed everything.  
  
"Annabelle! You never even touched alcohol before you went to Korea, what's happened to you?"  
  
"Steady Alison." Daniel put a hand on Mum's shoulder.  
  
"Mum, so much happens there, you can't even begin to understand it. No letter, no television documentary, nothing can show you how it is, no one can feel it, unless they are there." I said, "I had to change, I had to grow up. If I didn't, I wouldn't have been able to do what I did."  
  
"Get drunk and ruin your marriage!" Mum burst out.  
  
"No Alison, I may call you that? Alison, if Annie hadn't grown up so quickly in Korea, she wouldn't have been half as tough as she was, she would have died when she was in the POW camp. I don't know if you know but we had a Chinese soldier loose in the camp that grabbed her, if she hadn't been so damn tough, she probably wouldn't have got away from him." Mum was getting upset, but Hawkeye kept going.  
  
"If Annie didn't come to terms with the real world as quickly as she did, she might never have saved the patients that she did, might never have been half the nurse she was. There are so many more good things in Annie growing up so quickly, like having your grandchild."  
  
"Annabelle! You're having my grandchild and you didn't tell me!" Mum hugged me tightly.  
  
"No jeep accidents now!" Daniel laughed, clapping his son on the shoulder. "Son, I'm very sorry to hear you're divorcing, and I'm even more sorry to hear why, although it probably is for the best." Daniel squeezed his shoulder, and then kissed the side of my head. "Whatever happens, you know I'll support you."  
  
"I'm disappointed Annabelle, but I will be there when you need me. I guess this means you're coming home again right?" Said Mum at last.  
  
"Yes, I am, I hope you have a room." I said hopefully.  
  
"You and Alice can share a room for a bit I think. I'm not sure what will happen once you have the baby though."  
  
"I'll find something, but for now I just want to get settled at home again." Daniel and Hawkeye had to go, and I kissed them both on the cheek. They left, both wanting to settle in at home again and catch up.  
  
"Come on in sweetie, " Mum led me inside, and showed me around the house. It was just as beautiful on the inside as it looked on the outside. After a tour of the house, all the attention of my siblings got too much and I took a walk into the town, as we lived just on the border.  
  
"Annie! What are you doing here?" I walked right into Hawkeye who was positively beside himself with joy as he met everyone for the first time in three years.  
  
"Came to clear my head, if I have Lily ask me another question, I'm going to go nuts!" Hawkeye took my hand, in the warm way that two friends would, palm against palm.  
  
"It's a bit much isn't it after nearly two years?" He asked, as he led me through the town.  
  
"A lot too much. I'd forgotten what having so many siblings was like. Where are you taking me?"  
  
"You'll see," He let me in the front gate of the home that he shared with his father. It was a small two-bedroom place that Hawkeye had grown up in.  
  
"Through here, come on, don't worry about your uniform, you won't be needing it any more." Hawkeye pulled back a paling on the high wooden fence. I slipped through and gasped. Hawkeye's backyard faced right onto a park.  
  
"You think this is good, come on." He took my hand again and led me through a path and some trees. As we went downhill the trees cleared and we were on the beach, the sun was setting behind us, and the waves pounded on the shore as the tide came in.  
  
"It's beautiful Hawkeye,"  
  
"I used to come here all the time, thought it might help clear your head, it always helped me."  
  
"Thanks for bringing me." I replied, taking in the sights.  
  
"There's a pier about two miles that way, just behind the lighthouse." He was pointing, and showing me things, I felt myself relaxing.  
  
"Thanks Hawkeye. I needed the break, what's the time?"  
  
"I don't know, where's your watch?" I'd taken my watch off at home.  
  
"Never mind, I've only got to be back for dinner." I slipped my shoes off and walked in the sand. Walking in nylons was dissatisfying and so when Hawkeye turned his back, I took them off too, enjoying a walk in the waves. Hawkeye joined me, and we walked along the beach, talking about things we'd have to sort for the divorce.  
  
Suddenly a wave washed in, knocking me right off my feet. Hawkeye was laughing when another waved dumped on the shore, soaking me from head to toe and winding up with me screaming in terror.  
  
"Annie, get up, it's okay, let's go." Hawkeye was pulling me to my feet. "Look we're out of the water now, you'll be okay. It's okay." I thought I had pretty much gotten rid of my fear of water after swimming with BJ that day on the beach, but the sudden wave scared me.  
  
"I'm okay, it took me by surprise, and after Meg and all . . ." I trailed off shivering.  
  
"Come on, I'll take you back up to the house, Dad can get you dry." My uniform clung wetly, and I was shivering, even though it was a warm evening.  
  
"I can't bother you, I'll just walk back." I protested as Hawkeye let me in the back door.  
  
"Anne! What happened to you?" Daniel heard us and came into the kitchen where I dripped on the linoleum.  
  
"A wave got her." Hawkeye explained from the laundry where he was finding me a towel or two. "Here." He handed me a towel and I wrapped it around myself.  
  
"Thanks Hawkeye" I took off my jacket and rubbed my hair. "Is that the time? I'm supposed to be home in ten minutes to meet Rachael!" I glanced at the clock, and realised a lot more time had passed than I was aware of.  
  
"Don't worry Annie, I'll ring your place and let them know you're here." Hawkeye soothed.  
  
"Come with me. I'll find something for you to wear, you're about Katharine's size." Daniel led me into the bathroom and closed the door; I'd dried, stripped and wrapped myself in the towel by the time he returned.  
  
"This should do you." He held up a peach coloured dress, although old- fashioned it was beautiful.  
  
"Daniel I couldn't." I protested.  
  
"Nonsense! Now hurry up and dress, I'll drive you home, you'll make it if you hurry." He left again, and I dressed quickly. When I appeared, Hawkeye gave me my stockings and shoes and ushered me out to the car.  
  
"Thanks Daniel." I smiled at him as he dropped me off outside my home.  
  
"Anytime!" He smiled. I went inside, Rachael, Steve, Corey and Andrew hadn't arrived yet. That was okay, as it gave me a chance to neaten my bedraggled hair and reapply makeup to the bruise.  
  
When I remerged, they'd arrived, and the first thing Rachael did, aside from kiss both my cheeks soundly, was to push a small baby into my hands.  
  
"Meet your newest niece Abigail Anne." Rachael informed me proudly, looking at Rachael, and at Abigail, I guessed I hadn't been told of Rachael's pregnancy.  
  
"She's two weeks old, we didn't tell you because we knew you'd be home in time to see her, we just knew it." Rachael beamed.  
  
"Oh, Rachael, she's just beautiful." I smiled. After gushing appropriately over how much my nephew Corey had grown, and greeting my brother Andrew, we sat down to dinner.  
  
I felt really out-of-place, normally at mealtimes I was helping two or three little siblings eat, and making sure everyone else ate while I barely sat down, but I was the one who everyone was making sure had some food. Even giving Abby a bottle in the middle of the meal didn't help, and Mum refused my offer of help cleaning up after.  
  
"Belle, what's the matter?" Rachael asked as I put Grace to bed that night.  
  
"I'm just used to practically running the place, it's odd not having that anymore. And Mum's just refusing to let me help too. I always used to help at dinnertime, I miss it."  
  
"See, Belle, Mum thinks you've grown out of that, like you don't want to anymore. She told me about you and Ben and BJ. She also told me about why you and Ben are divorcing already. She thinks you're too grown up."  
  
"But I'm not Rae, I can't think of anything I'd really rather do than help out, and be who I was before Korea."  
  
"I'll go down and talk to Mum okay?" Rachael offered, and gladly I accepted it. Mum and Rae had a long talk before she, Steve, Andrew, Corey and Abigail went home.  
  
"Goodbye Aunty Belle." Corey gravely shook my hand. He was a big boy now, and at 30 months thought he was already too big for hugs. I guessed he'd been spending too much time around Matt.  
  
"Annabelle, can I have a word?" Mum asked later that night as I tucked Alice into bed. She and I were so close, not even Mum could come between us.  
  
"Sure Mum, goodnight my beautiful Alice." I joined Mum in her room. Jemma and Nat still slept in cots there, and at the moment were sound asleep.  
  
"Rae told me, you want to help out more." She began.  
  
"Yes, I do. I miss everyone needing me so much."  
  
"Love, it's part of being a mother, you learn that your babies grow up, and don't need you, and even go to Korea. Some never come back. But if you want to help with Matt, Grace and the twins that's fine with me."  
  
"Thanks Mum, look I'm dying for nothing more than a good night's sleep so if you don't mind, I'm going to go to bed." A bed had been put in Alice and Lily's room for me. It was a smallish house, and Alice and Lily shared a room, while Grace and Matt had their own rooms, which would soon be occupied by the twins.  
  
"Goodnight Annabelle." I went to bed, and slept very soundly, the peace of the quiet Maine night, and the warm comfort of a real bed worked wonders.  
  
Mum kept her word, and allowed me to help wherever I wanted, but I felt out of place, so much older than my little siblings. When I had lived around them, the 11years or more between us hadn't counted, but suddenly it was a very big gap. Instead of the friend I always had been, fitting in, helping out everywhere and loved by all, I felt like the new kids in school, trying to make friends by sucking up to the teacher, or in my case, Mum.  
  
Even when Mimi and Eve returned I still felt strange, as they were out a lot of the time, finding new jobs and apartments in Portland, and they hadn't been home for two days before they moved out again.  
  
Jeremy returned August 16, and Joe the day after, but Joe had been offered a job in Boston and left as soon as he came and Jeremy was staying in the army, and after a weeks' rest, flew up to Fort Wayne, Indiana to be under the command of a Lt Col Burns. This I found hilarious, and let Jeremy in on a few dozen secrets about Ferret Face.  
  
Then Chris came back, a shadow of his youthful self. The boy who was barely twenty seemed like a man of 80, and needed all the help I could give. He'd seen horrors worse than I had, but found some comfort in talking to me, as I understood the pain to a certain extent. The worst was yet to come though; he'd suffered severe damage to his legs, and they had both been amputated. He didn't have his knees, but he had most of his upper leg.  
  
"Oh, Chris." I sighed as I helped him into bed that night.  
  
"Don't feel sorry for me Annie." He whispered, his dark hair, like that of Lily's brushing my cheek as I bent to kiss him. "I did it for the country."  
  
"Okay then, goodnight Christopher." I left the room, but even helping someone who needed me so badly didn't really make me feel anymore at home.  
  
The next morning, I was up and about early, I felt great for being pregnant, and found I had plenty of stamina and bounce. Life was treating me pretty well in that aspect, even though I still felt like a stranger.  
  
"Annie, can you help me finish my assignment? It's one for the summer, but it's a real hard book, but we kind of had to pick one that was special to someone we knew." That was Alice, and she called from the kitchen table.  
  
"Sure, what is it?"  
  
"A book report, Last of the Mohecans, I picked it because I knew Jack liked it. And there's a Hawk-eye in it too!"  
  
"Okay Alice, sit tight, I'll just finish up here." I'd been making a cake, getting reunited with my kitchen skills that had fallen into disuse over the last two years.  
  
"Annie, my ball in tee!" Grace tugged at my skirt.  
  
"I'll be a minute Alice." I pushed the dishcloth down and found that her ball was in a tree in the backyard. Matt, who was playing with her had a broken arm, a result from falling from it, was unable to climb up and get it.  
  
Swinging up onto the lower branches, I worked my way higher into it. I retrieved the ball, and on the way down caught my skirt, tearing the hem. I said a few choice words - in Korean - and left Grace and Matt playing with her ball in the garden.  
  
"See, the book ending with Hawk-eye . . ." Lily had come in and started helping Alice. Watching her do something I so often used to do hurt me badly, and nearly brought tears to my eyes.  
  
"Listen you two, Grace is in the backyard with Matt. Chris is gardening on the veranda with Jemma. I'm going for a walk." Chris and Jemma were out the front at a table. While Jemma sat on Chris's lap, the two planted something in a planter box and Mum had taken Nat into town for some reason. Lily I knew, was responsible enough to keep an eye on things, and even if she wasn't I would've gone anyway; I was just that desperate to get out of the house.  
  
I left, and headed straight for the town. By the time I'd gotten right in the middle, I'd cooled off enough to courteously greet everyone who said hello to me. I kept walking, and finally came to Hawkeye's house, I hadn't seen him at all since the first day back home, but wasn't worried, we needed time to settle in before we signed the papers once and for all.  
  
I went in their gate and ducked through the back fence. Taking the path he'd shown me almost two weeks before, I wound up down on the beach again, clearing my head.  
  
"Hey you! I saw you come through our yard." It was Hawkeye, and he came up behind me, startling me.  
  
"Yeah, sorry about that, I just had to walk." I replied, once I'd recovered from fright.  
  
"Never mind, penny for your thoughts?"  
  
"I don't feel at home here, it's not right, all of a sudden there's a big gap between us, it's like they learned to get on without me."  
  
"Well Anne honey, they will do that." Hawkeye sat down next to me. "Dad's learned to look after himself even better than he could before, it'll be okay trust me, somehow, you'll find a balance. It might be just one day it all clicks, and they realise that you're still the same sweet Annie at heart."  
  
"Thanks." I leaned into him for a hug, which he gave me warmly.  
  
"Want to keep walking?" He asked with a smile.  
  
"Yeah that'd be great." I kicked off my sneakers and we walked for miles in the sand. We walked right back to where my part of town met the beach, and by the end of the walk, I felt a lot better.  
  
"Thanks Hawkeye, look I've got to go, I left Lily in charge. If you come up to the house, I can get you a drink. Oh, and I still have your mother's dress that Daniel lent me too." He walked up with me, Chris and Jemma were still gardening, Grace had tired of playing ball so she was asleep on the sofa, Matt was getting himself a snack and Alice and Lily were still studying the book.  
  
"Last of the Mohecans, nice choice." Hawkeye took a peek at their work.  
  
"We had to pick a book that was important to someone in our family. My big brother Jack used to read it." Alice explained while I ran and found the dress. "And my big brother-in-law has the nickname, which makes it extra special!" Hawkeye ruffled Alice's blonde curls fondly.  
  
"Thanks Annie, I'll walk back alone, and remember, it will get better. See you round." He bent and kissed my cheek briefly and left. He'd made me feel better, but not better enough. I still felt out of place.  
  
September rolled in and Mum decided she was going to go out on Patrick's boat, one day before school went back and left me in charge of Jemma, Nat, Grace, Matt, Alice, Lily, Chris, Mimi and Evelyn who had come to visit. That was great, I needed the work, and at three months pregnant, I felt up to it.  
  
I was sitting in the living room, nursing a fractious Jemma, while Nat built with his blocks at my feet. Grace and Mimi were outside, while Chris planted some things on the veranda, Eve was sitting in the kitchen sewing and singing. I was also keeping an eye on Lily and her boyfriend on the front lawn, making sure they weren't getting too close. Alice was listening to a record, and Matt was somewhere not causing trouble yet.  
  
Suddenly Jemma gave a hiccup and threw up all over my front, Nat took this moment to have his blocks fall down and start crying, while holding onto my ankle. Chris dropped a pot and it shattered on the ground, Grace fell over and began to scream while Mimi tried to shush her, Lily disappeared from view, Eve pricked her finger, and Alice and Matt began yelling at each other.  
  
I peeled off my top and took Jemma and Nat into the bathroom, I managed to clean Jemma, soothe Nat, sort out Alice and Matt's fight via correspondence, fix Grace's knee, locate Lily and Tom, see that Eve was still alive, and get her to help Chris simultaneously. Chaos reigned, yet I'd never felt more at home.  
  
Hawkeye was right, they saw that I was still Annabelle who had loved them and raised them, and after that it was A-OK, I was home again. 


	2. September to November 1953: The Divorce

September-November 1953  
  
I was asleep, blissfully so, when I heard the phone ringing. I checked my watch, it was 6am and I got out to the kitchen to answer it, figuring I only had to be up soon anyway, school was back in and I was in charge of getting Lily, Alice and Matt off to school.  
  
"Hello?" I yawned sleepily. "You've got Annabelle here."  
  
"Did I wake you?" The woman's voice was sort of familiar.  
  
"Sort of, but never mind, I've got to get up soon. Who is this?"  
  
"Peggy Honnicut. I'm sorry for ringing so early, I forgot to allow for the time changes, but I needed to call you."  
  
"Oh, I take it BJ told you then?"  
  
"Yeah, he did."  
  
"Oh, look I'm really sorry." I began hesitantly.  
  
"Don't worry, it could happen to anyone, I guess it was a matter of time before you two fell off the wagon, when you consider how close you are. Actually surprised it took you that long."  
  
"Thanks for understanding."  
  
"BJ told me, I'm sorry to hear about the divorce. But congratulations on the baby. And I'm still sorry for ringing so early. You sound exhausted!"  
  
"It's alright Peggy. I wanted to know, and if you didn't ring me, I'd have rung you."  
  
"BJ still feels guilty. I'd get him to talk, but he's out playing with Erin, I couldn't bear to part them."  
  
"That's alright, tell him I send my love and a cuddle for Erin."  
  
"Alright, I just thought you'd like to know I don't mind. Now I should really get some sleep."  
  
"Thanks Peggy, goodbye."  
  
"Bye." She hung up, and after heaving a huge sigh, I realised that I'd better let Hawkeye know. He'd want to now if something I did not only separated us, but if it affected BJ and Peg too.  
  
I went and had a shower, while everyone was still asleep. After waking everyone, I rang Hawkeye.  
  
"Hello? Hawkeye?"  
  
"The one and only!"  
  
"It's Annie, I'm sorry for ringing so early, but I thought you'd like to know that Peggy Honnicut rang me a few minutes ago."  
  
"She did? Well are you able to let your Mum sort the kids this morning?"  
  
"Sure why?"  
  
"You're coming around for breakfast and then we'll go into town together."  
  
"Oh, that . . ."  
  
"Yeah, a little thing called divorce court." We'd arranged to go and sort it out once I'd got the kids to school.  
  
"Sure, see you soon." I told Mum what was going on, got dressed properly and walked to Hawkeye's.  
  
"Annie! Come on in! You're just in time for breakfast!" Hawkeye let me in enthusiastically.  
  
"Thanks Hawkeye,"  
  
"Sit down. Juice?" He poured me a glass of orange juice. "What happened when Peggy rang?"  
  
"BJ told her, and it turns out that it's all okay, she understands, and she's surprised it took so long."  
  
"Really?" Hawkeye chuckled. "I'm just thrilled that she's okay, and that they're still together. Did you talk to BJ?"  
  
"No, he's getting to know Erin all over again." By this stage Daniel had served me a plate laden with eggs, bacon, pancakes and goodness knows what else.  
  
"I'm so happy for him, listen, about our baby, I'm really serious about still being able to see him whenever I want." Hawkeye's eyes fixed on me steadily as I ate.  
  
"And I'm serious, she's your baby too! Whenever you want to see her, or she wants to see you, that's fine."  
  
"Whoa, time out here! Decide on one neutral name for the baby and call it that until he or she is born, otherwise you'll have some serious gender- identity crises!" Daniel spoke up then, and I had to laugh at that, he was right, I insistently called the baby a girl, while Hawkeye called the baby a boy.  
  
"Okay, you like BB?" Hawkeye asked with a smile.  
  
"BB?" I queried.  
  
"Baby Bump!" He laughed.  
  
"Okay, BB it is." I agreed. "Hawkeye, BB is the only string in the whole thing and it's no worry, short of living with you, there is nothing more I can do to give you equal access."  
  
"Aren't you two going to go into Portland today? I can drive you in if you like." Daniel asked, and I paused with a forkful of eggs to my mouth.  
  
"Well, if Hawkeye's okay with that," I said, chewing and swallowing a mouthful "You are a great cook Daniel!"  
  
"Thanks. Hawkeye, want a ride?"  
  
"Sure, that's great Dad, but I need to get dressed and find something of a similar calibre to Annie." I was wearing a simple outfit, very much based on my Class-A uniform, except that it was pink. He was still in his pyjamas, soft blue flannel bottoms that matched his eyes and nothing on top.  
  
"Okay." We finished breakfast and Hawkeye left Daniel and I alone while he dressed. In that time we discussed how I was, and the health of the baby. Hawkeye returned and we headed off to Portland.  
  
We officially filed for divorce that day and were told that and once it was processed and signed, we'd be free. We were told to expect a wait as long as Christmas, but because we had no joint possessions, no bank account, no house, and no car it would probably be shorter. I was still wearing my rings, and after some deliberation, I took them off as we left the office. Hawkeye caught the movement and took my right hand that still clasped the rings.  
  
"I want you to wear them, here." He took off my chain and put the engagement ring and the engraved band so they hung with the Catholic cross I wore. He added his ring to the bundle, and it sat just over my heart.  
  
"Hawkeye, are you sure?"  
  
"Sure I'm sure, now there's this great place that does ice cream just down this street where Dad was going to wait." I laughed as he took my hand to show me.  
  
"I know Hawkeye, this is my hometown!" I laughed as he opened the door Daniel was having a coffee.  
  
"All done?" Daniel asked as we slid into the booth.  
  
"Yep." I sighed. Hawkeye agreed quietly.  
  
"Are you guys sure you wanted to do that?" Daniel asked puzzled. But we both defended ourselves so hotly, he just agreed meekly with it. I think we were both just having second thoughts, and Daniel knew it, so he decided to take us out on the town for a good lunch, his treat. He'd taken the day off from work to be with us, and we were grateful for the distraction he provided.  
  
"Annie, may I request your gorgeous presence for a second?" Daniel asked.  
  
"Sure Daniel." He and I walked a few yards ahead of Hawkeye.  
  
"Listen, there's nothing but doubt in Hawkeye's eyes, and you don't seem particularly happy with the situation either. I don't mean to pry, be nosey, or run my son's life, but are you sure divorcing is what you wanted?"  
  
"Daniel, this is what we want to do. We want to do it for us after we hurt each other so much, and for BB. We can't be good parents if we're beating up on each other."  
  
"Annie, it was a one-off, have you ever laid a hand on Hawkeye before - in anger?" Added Daniel as I opened my mouth with a smart reply.  
  
"Not seriously no, in fact I think every nurse in the camp hit him more times than I did. I mean I've hit him as a tease, and he's whacked my butt, but ow! Hawkeye!" I turned around and thumped Hawkeye's shoulder as he came up behind, heard my words and smacked my rear. I jumped about six feet in the air.  
  
"Like that?" Daniel queried, I gave a nod while I blushed brow to chin. "Well, if it's what you want, but the two of you just act like you're more in love than before."  
  
"Dad! I told you, this is what we want, Annie hurt me and I hurt her, it's what we want to do." Hawkeye got pretty mad after that and stalked ahead. I was silent too. Daniel saw that he'd pushed us too far and shut up.  
  
We went home and Daniel dropped me off at my place, before they continued on. Alice was already home.  
  
"Annie, Annie! Mrs Gable gave me an A for my art!"  
  
"That's my girl!" I hugged her tightly.  
  
"Oh, Annie, there's all these letters for you," By all these she meant four.  
  
"Radar, Trapper, Colonel Potter and Margaret!" I grabbed them and settled down to read.  
  
Radar's letter was first, he had met a girl named Monica Hanlon, they'd married July 4, and were now expecting their first baby May next year. He was still on his Mum's farm, Edna was doing well, and he had a menagerie that ranged from a canary, right up to six Jersey cows.  
  
Trapper had sent his letter to Daniel, but the post office had redirected it. It was a friendly note, asking how I was and asking Hawkeye and I to come visit sometime. He'd hooked up with a girl named Carlye, who had known Hawkeye in college, she was a nurse too, and from the way he wrote they were very happy.  
  
Colonel Potter was great, semi-retirement, two point five grandchildren, and being a husband suiting him well. He was still a country doctor, and had retired from the army. He had a horse again, and he'd named her Belle, he said, after me. I was pleased, I knew that it was a great compliment.  
  
Margaret was visiting her family, in wherever it was. Her post in Portland didn't start until October, but she'd arrive in Portland September 23, to give her time to settle in. She said her father was mad because she'd chosen a job of her own accord, but she also decided he could just deal with it!  
  
There were letters for Hawkeye too, so I sent Alice off. That sorted, I got into a housedress and began cooking dinner and helping Chris do a jigsaw puzzle. He was going to be in a wheelchair for the rest of his life, a fact he was taking well, becoming absorbed in jigsaws, reading, and gardening. He loved to play with Jemma and Nat, one of us would help him out of his wheel chair and onto their level, and his hands and arms were strong, he was able to play with them as though nothing was different. He was learning to use what of his legs he still had too.  
  
"Want a hand Annie?" Chris asked, pushing away the jigsaw. I found him the basic ingredients for a salad and threw them his way.  
  
"That's all for now, Tom is coming over and he's bringing dinner." Tom was Lily's boyfriend, and like his father was a fisherman. He often came around for dinner, bringing us a surprise that he'd caught early in the morning.  
  
"So what did you do today?" Chris asked. I set in on icing a cake.  
  
"Hawkeye and I went into divorce court." I replied, resisting the urge to sample the frosting.  
  
"That's a shame, it's all settled then?"  
  
"Yes, and please don't ask if it's what we want cause it is. And the more we look at it, the more different we are, look at how we live. I mean, I'm happy with just this, working my butt off all day, he'd want more, to go out, live you know, everything I never do" Chris was, and always had been the best listener of all my brothers and sisters.  
  
"Annie, shh, I didn't ask. If it makes you happy then go out and do it. Just take good care of BB on the way!" For 13 weeks, I was already looking chubby, but couldn't care, I felt great.  
  
"Thanks Chris, it's just that I've heard nothing but am I sure it's what I want to do lately. Daniel, Mum, and that damned lawyer in charge of all this. If I wasn't sure would I be doing it?"  
  
"You wouldn't, you rarely go into things half-cocked." He smiled, his words were reassuring, but somehow I felt this was one of the rare times that I did go off half-cocked.  
  
"No, you're right, thanks Chris." I forced a bright smile.  
  
"That's better, now listen to me. You are going to finalise that, and keep on living, you're going to have a great time, and then, on March 20, you're going to have BB!" I could tell that Chris's smile was forced too.  
  
"Listen Chris, it's over you're safe now, right here." I stood up went to stand next to him, wrapping my arms around his shoulders, while his head leaned into my stomach. He was trembling as he tried to bury his head in the front of my dress.  
  
"Annie, you didn't see your best friend die, and all the while you were laying helpless because something was wrong with your legs. Imagine lying there in the mud, watching your friend die in the last minutes of fighting. We were so close, we'd got that far alive, and then he died just as the guns stopped." He shook and gripped me tightly.  
  
"Chris, Jack didn't just die at a hospital because he was so badly injured. He died in front of me. I do know what it's like." Chris's convulsive trembling stopped as I started to cry. He pulled me onto his lap, what was left of it.  
  
"Oh Annie, you do know. I'm sorry for not listening before." Chris and I sat there, crying and venting our sadness.  
  
"Hello?" It was Tom, and Patrick. I hurriedly got off Chris's lap and wiped my eyes. I ran to let them in, Patrick embracing me at the sign of tears.  
  
"My bairn, why have you been crying?" He pulled out his hanky out and began to wipe my cheeks while Lily met Tom and took him through to the kitchen. Patrick was very much like a father to me, second only to Colonel Potter, and cared for us like we were his own, when only Matt, Grace, and the twins were his.  
  
"Just war Patrick, I'm okay."  
  
"Well give me a smile you're a bonnie lass. More beautiful than Erin's Isle you are." Patrick's mother was Scottish, and his father Irish. The mixed dialects amused me and I gave a smile. "See, what did I say, you're more beautiful than the pot o' gold at the end of the rainbow." His words made me blush.  
  
"Patrick, don't." I laughed, turning away.  
  
"Flirting with my husband are you woman?" It was Mum, she'd returned from wherever with Grace, Nat and Jemma. I laughed and returned to the kitchen. I cooked dinner and we sat down, enjoying our time together as a family, no matter how mixed.  
  
"Annie, phone!" I dropped my book and went into the kitchen Matt held the phone out to me. I shivered in the air, as it was heading for an early winter, and it was already cold at the beginning of October.  
  
"Who is it?" I took the phone from him.  
  
"Dr Daniel." He grabbed his baseball cap off the table.  
  
"Thanks, now scoot or you'll be late for school. Hello?"  
  
"Hi Annie, this might sound odd, but my regular nurse can't come in today, I was wondering if you could help out around here today?" Daniel asked.  
  
"Sure Daniel, what will you want me to do?"  
  
"Just assist Hawkeye and I whenever we need it, you'll also have to answer the phone." Hawkeye had started working in Daniel's practise about halfway through September.  
  
"Sounds great, I'll find a uniform and be there in 10."  
  
"Bye," I found my old uniform, surprised myself by fitting it, and walked into town. Daniel met me at the door.  
  
"Come on in Annie, Katie called me to say that her husband's taken ill and she's can't come in till he's better. I was hoping I could have you until we got a full-time replacement." Daniel took my coat as and hung it up.  
  
"Daniel, I'm quite okay, and in fact I'd love the work." I said as he showed me around the clinic.  
  
"Well, in that case, you got the job Nurse Anne! I thought you wouldn't want to work because you're pregnant."  
  
"Rubbish! I've never felt better!" I laughed, peering into Hawkeye's office.  
  
"What're you doing here?"  
  
"And what ever happened to 'good morning Annie, it's nice to see you'?" I mocked, then explained why I was there. Hawkeye was pleased to see that I was getting out and about a bit more.  
  
After that, I went to work everyday. I got to know everyone in the town by name, and they got to know me. I loved the local kids and soon the walls were covered with colourful artwork drawn for Nurse Anne. The money was another bonus, but even if I weren't being paid I'd have done it because I felt so good.  
  
It was getting into late October when as always, I turned up for work. Daniel and Hawkeye were already there.  
  
"Hey look at this!" Hawkeye pointed as I took off my coat. I'd begun to show and BB was straining the waistline of my uniform. Since Margaret had moved into Portland I had borrowed her slightly larger ones, but they were beginning to get tight too.  
  
"It seems so real now." I put my hand self-consciously over my belly.  
  
"I guess I'll give you a check-up today." Daniel said, turning on his office light. "See me before lunch." Daniel gave me a thorough check-up, and declared BB and I fit and healthy. I was just getting myself neat again when the phone rang. I dashed out to answer it.  
  
"Hello, Dr Pierce's office." It was the divorce lawyer, saying that if Hawkeye and I showed up at the office the next day we could sign the papers and get it done. I told Daniel, who gave us both the afternoon off and we arranged to show up there 2.30 the next day.  
  
"You realise the irony here?" Hawkeye asked as we left the office the next day officially divorced.  
  
"No, what irony?" I asked, looking up at him. He took my elbow to hurry me a little, as we ran to the bus stop.  
  
"That it's the 24th of October." His blue eyes met mine steadily, sadly as he told me that.  
  
"Talk about irony." I sighed as the bus pulled up. "We celebrate our first anniversary by getting a divorce." Hawkeye gave a chuckle then, and laughed, so infectious I had to laugh too.  
  
We were silent the rest of bus ride to the hospital where we met Margaret. She was thriving in her new job, and was very glad to see us. We didn't talk long, only telling her that I was a Dawson again. After having sympathy lavished upon us, Margaret's coffee break ended and we had to go.  
  
Daniel met us back in the Cove, and offered to drive us home. Surprisingly, we both refused him, saying we wanted to go for a walk.  
  
"Hawkeye, where're you heading?" I asked after a few minutes, realising that Hawkeye was either going the same way I was or stalking me.  
  
"Graveyard, thought Mum ought to know, you?"  
  
"Ditto, I wanted to tell Jack." Jack had been sent home in a box, and buried in Crabapple Cove Cemetery. I often went to visit him, talking to him, and letting him know the latest news.  
  
"For two people who are different, we sure are alike." Hawkeye chuckled, holding the cemetery gate for me.  
  
"Yeah." I smiled. We parted ways then, as Jack was in a different part to where Katharine was.  
  
We met back at the gate a little later, my eyes and nose were red, and Hawkeye's eyes looked suspiciously watery. I went to 'meet' Katharine, and for the first time ever, saw Hawkeye seriously cry, not the hysteria in Korea that we had so often fallen victim to, but real, heartbroken tears.  
  
"Mum, this is Annabelle, your daughter-in-law, well you know what I mean. And she's having your grandchild too. I sure hope you like her. She reminds me a lot of you, but no one can replace you." I wrapped my arms around Hawkeye, feeling for the first time how he felt about his mother. He let me just hold him for several long minutes, while he cried. In time, I found that I was crying too.  
  
"Thankyou Anne." He said at last, wiping his face. "Come on, I'll take you out to dinner, my treat."  
  
"Hawkeye, we just . . ." I protested.  
  
"So? Friends can still go out right?"  
  
"Okay. But we have to go via Mum's, I need to tell her I'm going out."  
  
"Ring her from my place, and before you start thinking about clothes, I want to see you in that peach dress of Mum's again. You looked just beautiful."  
  
"Do friends say things like that?" I queried with a smile.  
  
"This one does." He walked me back to his place, and let me have first run in the bathroom. I showered and dressed, letting my hair fall loose. Hawkeye was in his room when I returned, but Daniel was sitting reading the paper, he paused for a second.  
  
"Wow," he said at last. "Do you know, except that Katharine had red-gold hair and green eyes, you look so much like her in that dress, the way you've got your hair falling around your shoulders like that?"  
  
"No, is that why Hawkeye wanted me to wear it?"  
  
"Aside from the fact that you just look beautiful, yes." I blushed at Daniel's compliment. In the bathroom we heard Hawkeye singing amidst splashes. Daniel had found some younger photos of Hawkeye, aged about five.  
  
"He was so cute then. Wow! You look great!" Hawkeye'd come out from the shower, wearing blue jeans and a striped sweater. It suited his eyes, and at the careless but sincere compliment he smiled.  
  
"Come on Anne, I'll take you to the place that does the best lobster!"  
  
"Have fun kids." Daniel called as we left. We had a lovely night, sharing details of our lives that we'd never talked about in Korea. After dinner we went down to walk on the beach. We laughed and flirted, late into the night.  
  
"You know Annie?" Hawkeye asked suddenly, turning me to face him.  
  
"Of course I know me!" I teased. He merely gave me a filthy look.  
  
"Do you know what Annie?" He spoke deliberately succinctly, emphasising every word. "Somewhere, in here I think I love you, but somewhere in here, I know I can't" He touched his chest and then his temple as he spoke.  
  
"I know, somewhere here, I do still love you." I placed my hand on my breast. "But here tells me that . . . that we . . . just got divorced and . . . and what we're doing now feels . . . so. . . right." Hawkeye had taken me into his arms.  
  
"Yet you know it's so wrong." He kissed me. I slipped my arms around his neck, and kissed him back.  
  
"Precisely. It's wrong, but it feels right." The divorce was barely hours old, but we had already forgotten it. Giving into each other, we wound up on the sand.  
  
"Mmm, sand." I wiped sand from my cheek, stretching sleepily in the cold air. I prodded the figure next to me.  
  
"What? Where? Urgh, sand." Hawkeye spat out some sand. "What's the time?"  
  
"Just after midnight." I replied, after a heated kiss in the sand, we had fallen asleep. I shivered in the fresh fall air. "Let's go, I for one am freezing." We went back up to the Pierce home.  
  
"God, I have sand in everything."  
  
"You can have a shower if you like." Hawkeye offered. "You will stay tonight won't you? Couldn't wake your sisters at this hour."  
  
"Thanks, I might just, I'm too tired to walk back." I yawned, barely conscious of what I said. Hawkeye was a little more awake than I was, and was pulling the foldout couch into a bed for me. I went into his room while he was doing that and helped myself to a shirt of his. He was still wrestling with my bed so I went into the bathroom, ignored the light, slipped off my shoes and stockings, and unzipped my dress.  
  
I'd just dragged my dress off, to the serenade of Hawkeye still arguing tiredly with the bed. Brushing the sand from my body in the dark bathroom, I heard the rain-like noise it made as it hit the tiles. Sleepily I left the dress, and then my bra on the floor in a pile as I heard Hawkeye's crow of success as he got the bed set up.  
  
Looking around for my shirt, I realised I'd left it in his room, and I went back to get it, he was just getting changed too, and we both stood there, himself naked from the waist up, myself wearing nothing but panties.  
  
"Oh god this is embarrassing. I just came to get a shirt." I pointed to where I had left it on the bed with one hand, while trying to cover myself with the other.  
  
"Here." Hawkeye threw me the shirt and I put it on. "What is with us?" he asked as I buttoned it.  
  
"What Hawkeye?" The shock of seeing each other almost naked had woken us up and we were capable of intelligent conversation.  
  
"We get divorced, and then the same night, we spend half an hour or more kissing on the beach, and now we're acting like two kids, are we ever going to make up our minds if we love or hate each other?"  
  
"Not soon enough." I replied, "I don't hate you, but I can't truly say I love you."  
  
"And I can't say that I either love or hate you." We sat on the edge of the bed, silent for a while, thinking deeply.  
  
"Well what in the hell do we have?" I asked at last.  
  
"Friendship, and a better understanding of each other than anyone else probably ever will." Hawkeye said.  
  
"True, that's what I'm happy, excuse me, happy to settle for." I gave a big yawn.  
  
"What about intense physical attraction?" Hawkeye asked. He was right, even in Korea when we'd hit the rocks, we'd been unable to deny how good make each other feel.  
  
"I'll take that too." I conceded with a laugh, knowing what he really meant.  
  
"I was hoping you'd say that." He kissed me, and his body came over mine to claim me.  
  
"Hawkeye, I don't know what hour you got in, but we have - ANNABELLE?" It was Daniel coming to wake Hawkeye, not knowing that I was there too, and walked in on us sharing a pre-breakfast cuddle.  
  
"I'm not even going to ask, but I will remind you that you signed your divorce papers just yesterday. Breakfast's ready." Daniel left politely.  
  
"Hawkeye, was it my imagination or was that first casual sex I've ever had?" I asked him as I dragged on his red robe, ignoring his protests that he wanted to wear it. "BJ doesn't count."  
  
"Well, if BJ doesn't count yes it probably is why?"  
  
"Oh, nothing." We went out to breakfast and after another day at the clinic, I returned home - to my home, with Mum, Patrick and my brothers and sisters. Mum was pleased to see me, and had rather surprising news.  
  
"We've bought a house in Portland, we miss the city too much."  
  
"Mum!" I gasped, otherwise lost for words.  
  
"Alice, Matt and Chris miss the city too."  
  
"But what about the kids' school?" They were enjoying here far more than the big city schools.  
  
"They can keep coming here, and Patrick can keep coming here for work too." Patrick's boat was moored in the Cove, and he had his own fishing business.  
  
"But Mum, I can't go. I'm meant to be here."  
  
"I know, but we all miss the city so much, don't take it so hard."  
  
"I'm staying in the Cove, I can't leave, not now that I know everyone."  
  
"I knew you'd say that." Mum gave me a hug.  
  
"I'll invite myself to stay at Daniel's for a while. After that I'll figure out something. Crabapple Cove's not big on apartment blocks." There was a retirement village but that was all.  
  
"You're a good girl Annie, thanks for understanding. By the way, we move November 2."  
  
"I'm going for a walk on the beach right about now. Don't expect me for dinner." I left the house, and hit the beach from my end of town. Walking past the lighthouse and pier, I thought about it. I knew I couldn't leave the Cove, no two ways about it. I met Hawkeye on the beach, no surprise, and he agreed that I was most welcome to stay on the foldout as long as that was where I stayed.  
  
"I don't want just some half-hearted casual sex relationship." I explained as we walked up to the house.  
  
"No matter how much you obviously enjoyed it?" Hawkeye teased. I smacked the back of his head.  
  
"It's not who I am, it's all or nothing." I replied as Daniel let me in.  
  
"I guess I'll take nothing then." Hawkeye sighed, heading to his room, probably to brood.  
  
Needing something to do, I chased Daniel out of the kitchen and took over the place. Not that he was in a hurry to argue, and quite happily sat; alternately chatting, singing and playing 20 questions with me while I cooked dinner.  
  
With barely a week to move, things got pretty wild at my place, and I moved into the living room at the Pierce's the next day. I was really enjoying myself to be honest; I loved looking after two men while they stubbornly insisted they could manage just fine, but secretly loved my constant babying.  
  
My family moved back to Portland right on schedule, and once they were gone, things settled down. My clothes were divided around Daniel's house, some in his wardrobe, some in Hawkeye's, some in Katharine's things, and even some in the linen cupboard. Margaret was minding my pre-BB things, as there was no way I'd be fitting them in a hurry.  
  
I was still working at the clinic, despite five surprisingly large months of pregnancy. I was mostly helping Daniel, Hawkeye and I deliberately staying away, to enforce the fact we really were divorced. Hawkeye'd even taken a couple of girls out dancing, mostly to force himself to realise and accept that I wasn't his.  
  
"Annie, you're so big for five months, are you sure you didn't miscalculate?" Daniel asked.  
  
"Well, if we did, I'd be six months with a North Korean's baby, or seven months with your son's very lucky baby who survived several falls downstairs and a few dozen army boots to the abdomen." I replied. We'd already checked for heartbeats, and found only one, ruling out twins.  
  
"I'm not sure, well, if you have the baby in January, it's Hawkeye's, in February - god forbid - some North Korean's, but if you have the baby in March it's Hawkeye's again." We decided there was little to do but wait and see. There were many ideas and gossip about who's the baby was, that got me upset.  
  
"Annie, don't worry, if they gossip about you, it means they've accepted you, they like you, and that you're a real member of Crabapple Cove now." Daniel laughed, as I came in from lunch, mad about something I'd heard whispered.  
  
He was right, the town had really and truly accepted me into their hearts. 


	3. December 1953 to January 1954: Time At T...

November 1953 - New Year's 1954  
  
November grew colder, I grew bigger and Christmas grew nearer, and after a letter and then a phonecall, I decided to head out to the mid-west to spend Christmas with the Potters. Hawkeye wanted me to stay and spend a Cove Christmas with him, but I wanted to get around before I wasn't able to travel when BB arrived. Besides, I thought Hawkeye could use the time away from me, as much as I could use the time away from him. Daniel had found a part-time replacement for me, and it was all set.  
  
December 1, I arrived in Hannibal, to be almost swept off my feet by the Colonel.  
  
"Annie Dawson! You look wonderful!" I smiled and blushed.  
  
"Thanks sir, you're looking well yourself."  
  
"It's not sir anymore, it's Sherman." He took my bags and escorted me out of the train station.  
  
"Oh, I can't possibly call you that!" He was always 'Colonel' to me.  
  
"How about papa?"  
  
"Papa," I repeated, trying it on for size. "I like it, why did you choose papa?"  
  
"You always said I was like your father, and short of calling me Dad, I couldn't think of anything more appropriate. Here's our transport," A beat up old Chevy truck waited outside. He loaded my bags, helped me in and we drove off, while I filled him in on what was happening in my life, and with BB.  
  
"I'm glad to hear you're happy, it's not good for your baby if you mope." I smiled at that, and we made it to the Potter's farm. I met Mildred his wife, Corey and Eve his children, Bob and Janine his children-in-law, and Stuart, Corey and baby Julia, his grandchildren.  
  
They were a lovely bunch, all so friendly and welcoming, and it was no surprise that I felt myself settling in for a month's holiday without a worry.  
  
A week after I arrived in Hannibal, Radar and his wife arrived. She was slightly less pregnant than I was, but the minute we saw each other, we just burst out laughing, and threw ourselves at each other in a friendly hug. Radar looked very much relieved at how easily and naturally Monica and I made friends.  
  
Colonel Potter was still trying to convince Radar and I to call him Sherman. I'd fallen into calling him Papa, as it gave him the friendly authority he deserved. Radar was still calling him sir, and we gave up. I called everyone else by their first names, except for Radar, who I still called Radar.  
  
Radar was calling me the hyphenated name he called me in Korea so often. Captain-Mrs-Annie-Pierce-Ma'am, at first I thought that it was sweet, but eventually the Mrs Pierce got to me, seeing as I wasn't a Pierce anymore, so before lunch two days after he'd arrived, I went out to the field where he was talking to Belle, Colonel Potter's new horse.  
  
"Corporal-Radar-Walter-Mr-O'Reilly-sir?" I called, approaching him, and rubbing the curious mare's nose with my gloved hands.  
  
"Yes ma'am?" I took off my gloves and buried my fingers in the warmth of the brown mane.  
  
"Listen, Radar, just call me Annie, it's not the army, and so you don't need to call me ma'am. I left the army, so I'm not a Captain either. Please just call me Annie."  
  
"What about Mrs Pierce, I don't think I can be that familiar with you, no offence meant, but I think of you as Captain Pierce, and that's who you are to me."  
  
"Radar, see I'm not a Mrs." I flashed my ring-less finger at him. A large gold band with a Korean symbol meaning prosperity adorned my thumb, a gift from the CO of the POW camp whose life I saved, but that was all.  
  
"Oh, gee not the 'd' word?" Radar asked.  
  
"Yep, back in October." Radar looked like he was ready to cry.  
  
"Gee Annie, I'm real sorry to hear that. If you ever you know, want to talk or whatever, you know, I'm all ears. I mean I understand if you don't want to and all but I thought as a friend, you might like it."  
  
"Thanks Radar, it's very sweet of you." Mildred's voice rang out, calling us for lunch, and I turned, and promptly hit the ground, a pain shooting up my ankle as I landed in mud created by rain, ice and snow.  
  
"Aw shoot, aw jeez, are you okay Annie?" I noticed he'd fallen into using my Christian name.  
  
"No," I winced, as he tried to help me up. "I think I've sprained my ankle, can you go up to the house and get someone else to help."  
  
"Right away, sure." He dashed up to the house, Belle stood by me anxiously, snuffling my hair.  
  
"There's a good girl, come on, let me hold myself up on you." I patted her nose soothingly, and hooked my hands in her blanket and halter, using her as support to get up. I leant on her, and tested my - incredibly painful - ankle.  
  
"Annie! What happened?" Colonel Potter and Radar hurried down to see me. Belle was tiring of being a leaning post and shifted away as Radar came over and held me up.  
  
"I fell in the mud, my ankle gave out." I explained, as Radar and Colonel Potter helped me up to the house.  
  
"Sit her down, take off her shoe, let me see." Mildred instructed as soon as I hobbled in. "Never mind about the cushions, they'll wash." She said as I lowered my muddy frame onto the sofa.  
  
"You have a nasty sprain there." I was told after my ankle was turned, pressed and kneaded until tears formed in my eyes. "You're going to stay off that until Christmas, I don't even want to see you standing until next week."  
  
"But papa!" I protested.  
  
"Annie!" He bit back warningly. "You are staying put, comprende?" He looked at me firmly, strapping my ankle. I agreed meekly, and settled with my foot up on the sofa. We had lunch by the fire so I didn't have to move.  
  
"Margaret! Oh, I didn't think you were coming!" Margaret arrived three days before Christmas; I was up and about again, hobbling with a crutch under one arm. Colonel Potter knew that I'd only bear a week of resting-up and said if I had crutches I was allowed to move around.  
  
"Of course, I would! I wanted to spend Christmas with Mum and Dad, but they couldn't come to an agreement on anything, so I just left. I'm surprised you're not in Crabapple Cove. Hawkeye used to boast of the Christmas parties there until we were all sick of them." She kissed my cheek, helping me sit down.  
  
"I needed a break, of course I would have loved to be in Portland with Mum, but I really needed to be as many miles away from Hawkeye as I could get, and the Honnicuts were too far away."  
  
"Never mind, now that we're together!" Margaret grinned girlishly at me. "Look at you, you're not six months are you? You're too big!"  
  
"That's the thing, because I'm so big, we're kind of wondering about the dates. See, my size equates to seven months, and to be that far along, I'd have to have gotten pregnant at the POW camp." Margaret wasn't one to curse, but she let go with a few beauties then.  
  
"We're just waiting to see when I have the baby, February POW, March Hawkeye." I explained.  
  
"Never mind, Christmas is in three days, let's have a great time!" I hugged her, and that's what we did.  
  
Christmas was wonderful, the women, with the exception of Monica and myself, cooked a wonderful lunch, which spread into dinner. Gifts were handed around, Colonel Potter giving me a beautiful pair of calf-length riding boots.  
  
"Oh thankyou papa, they're beautiful!" I hugged him. We kept giving presents; I gave Margaret a sky-blue cashmere sweater, which she put on at once. It made her eyes sparkle and made her look even more beautiful than before. I gave Radar a copy of 'Last of the Mohecans' it had been Hawkeye's idea, and Radar was thrilled.  
  
Everyone had bought something for everyone, even though most of us had never met before. The Potter children gave me a beautiful knitted baby blanket, and I gave them simple presents like socks, novels and cushions. Monica it seemed was a wonderful cook, presenting everyone with a jar of her strawberry jam. I gave her a baby quilt that I'd sewn, I loved to sew, and BB already had a matching one.  
  
We opened a few bottles of wine, everyone watching how much Monica, Janine who was still feeding Julia, and myself consumed. Margaret made a surprising amount disappear, and she and I retired to our room, giggling like girls.  
  
"Merry Christmas Annie!" She threw herself on her bed.  
  
"Merry Christmas Margaret." I replied, sitting down slowly, leaning forward so BB hung off the edge of the chair.  
  
"Want to play cards?" She pulled a pack from her suitcase.  
  
"Why not, what'll we play?" I shifted down to the floor and helped her clear a playing surface.  
  
"Strip Poker!" She announced, smiling broadly.  
  
"Margaret! You wouldn't not with papa in the other room!" I gasped.  
  
"Wouldn't I? Besides papa knocks." She had settled on calling him papa as well.  
  
"You're drunk Margaret!" I accused correctly.  
  
"So what? Come on, play with me!" she asked again.  
  
"All right but if we get caught Margaret . . ." I laughed as she started to shuffle cards.  
  
"What in Sweet Fanny Adams is going on here?" I turned and gasped, and then hurriedly turned back, grabbing the nearest object I could find, a pillow and hugging it against my chest before sheepishly turning around to face him.  
  
"I'm umm, losing Strip Poker." Margaret I noticed had followed suit with another pillow.  
  
"So I see." The Colonel commented dryly. I'd just had a spectacular losing streak, losing five games in a row. I was down to stockings, my new boots, and a slip that covered from my waist to my knees. Margaret was down to even less, having lost more games than I.  
  
"Well Annie, if you don't mind, I'd like to have a listen to the baby, once you're decent of course." He added, with a wry glance at the pillows Margaret and I hugged.  
  
"Yes papa." I agreed, he left while we dressed and packed up the game, and after getting into our pyjamas, we called him back in. He returned with his stethoscope.  
  
"Alright just lift the top okay, this is going to be cold." I lifted the top of my pyjamas so it showed my stomach.  
  
"Looks great huh?" I smiled proudly, as I noticed Margaret admiring it.  
  
"You're so lucky Annie," Colonel Potter I noticed, was shifting the stethoscope on my belly, a thoughtful gleam in his eyes. Suddenly he gave a huge grin, and gave me the earpieces. Puzzled I put them in my ears and listened.  
  
"What do you hear?" He asked. I listened; I could pick up the obvious noise of a rapid foetal heartbeat.  
  
"BB's heartbeat." I replied. He moved it again and I winced slightly at the cold. "Still BB's heartbeat." I said as he looked up at me.  
  
"Now what?" He asked, moving it one last time. My skin went into automatic revolt at the cold, flinching and getting goose bumps. He placed a warming hand on my belly while I listened.  
  
"I hear two heartbeats! Two!" I cried, realising the truth.  
  
"Merry Christmas Annie, you're having twins! That's why you're so big!"  
  
"Oh, papa, thankyou!" I hugged him tightly, almost crying in my joy. "Thankyou, you have no idea how good it is to hear that!" A weight had been lifted from my mind, I knew now why I was abnormally large.  
  
"I could take a guess." He laughed, hugging me back as Margaret flung her arms around us.  
  
"Can I call Daniel, to let my doctor know?"  
  
"Of course." I went out into the hall and bumped into Radar.  
  
"Twins, twins, I'm having twins!" I kissed his cheek soundly and waltzed him into the kitchen to the phone.  
  
"Annie ma'am I'm real pleased to hear that! Boy I am real glad that Monica is only having one baby! Gee twins!" I laughed; I'd always be Annie ma'am, no matter what. I picked up the phone and asked to be connected to Daniel.  
  
"Love you too, Merry Christmas!" I hung up the phone. Daniel was thrilled to hear that not only would I give him two grandbabies, but that they would be Hawkeye's. He agreed not to tell Hawkeye though, as I wanted to myself.  
  
I began to head back to my room, when Colonel Potter and Mildred realised I was limping again. I'd been too hard on my ankle, and it had blown up like a balloon.  
  
"Listen Annie, couch rest all of tomorrow, and the next day." Colonel Potter ordered, tucking me in.  
  
"Yes papa, goodnight." He kissed me, and then said goodnight to Margaret. We felt like little girls, having him tuck us in and baby us, but it was a nice feeling.  
  
Margaret left on the 28th; her job and boss weren't quite so forgiving about holidays. There was a bus that stopped at the gate that would take her into the city and from there she would get a train back. I hopped down on my crutches to see her off and to ask her not to tell Hawkeye about the twins. She agreed readily, understanding the importance I felt in telling him myself.  
  
"Goodbye Annie, see you back there."  
  
"Bye Margaret, have a nice trip!" She got on the bus, and as I drove off, I turned and swung back up the muddy drive, Radar hastening to open the door when he saw me coming.  
  
"Gosh Annie ma'am, you're so muddy!" The winter's rain, snow and ice had turned everything slushy.  
  
"I know, it's horrid. Here." I handed him my crutches and yanked off my boots. I wiped the base of the crutches so as not to spread mud through the house, and then settled on the sofa for a rest, as my ankle felt sore.  
  
I stayed for New Year's, as we had planned, and we spent a noisy night in front of the fire, singing, laughing and ringing in the New Year as happily as possible.  
  
I'd booked a flight for the fourth, but things were doubtful, as my ankle was not good enough to work without crutches. Radar and Monica had gone back on the second, unwilling to leave the farm any longer, and the kids had all gone back too, so now it was just Mildred, Colonel Potter and myself.  
  
On the morning of the third, after realising my ankle wasn't up to walking, I decided that I couldn't possibly be away from Crabapple Cove any longer. A phonecall or two had told me that the kids were missing Nurse Anne, and my filler, Nurse Stratford, wasn't half as welcoming as I was.  
  
"I am going papa, it's not that I don't love every minute on the farm, but I really miss the Cove, I have to go tomorrow, Daniel knows when my plane gets in, he'll meet me, especially as he knows I'm on crutches. In every other aspect I am perfectly healthy. It's just my ankle. The flight back sitting down will be great for it probably."  
  
"Sherm, Annie obviously wants to go, and she is a hardy girl, she can hold up." Mildred said. "Besides Sherm, it would be nice to have some of our own time again." I averted my eyes as she kissed him.  
  
"You women! You know how to get a man right where you want them. You don't cause nothing but trouble, but I just gotta love you all the more! Annie, you can go, but call me as soon as you're home, day or night!"  
  
"Thankyou papa," I hugged him. "It's not that I'm glad to leave, but I'm so glad to be going home again."  
  
I flew back the next day, Colonel Potter issuing the stewardess with special instructions.  
  
"I'll take great care of your daughter sir." She assured him.  
  
"See papa? I'm in good hands." Keeping up the play of father-daughter, I kissed his cheek.  
  
"Have a safe trip. Now you make sure you call me the minute you get back, I don't care what time of the day or night it is. Tell Daniel to look after you or I'll come and put my boot in his patoot!" He hugged me tightly.  
  
"Goodbye papa." I boarded the plane and in a few hours I was back in Maine. Daniel met me at the airport and after taking my bags, we went straight home.  
  
It was late when I returned and Hawkeye had already retired. I rang the Potters briefly, just to let them know I was alive. But I was so exhausted I didn't talk for long, and then stripping off my jacket and shoes, I fell asleep on top of my bed, not even bothering about covers.  
  
"Annie, it's only me, Daniel alright?" His voice was low as he unwrapped my ankle. I nodded sleepily and submitted peacefully to having my clothes taken off down to my slip and tucked warmly into bed.  
  
I woke at about 5 the next morning, when I realised someone was watching me. I rolled over and found Daniel perched on the end of my bed watching me thoughtfully.  
  
"Morning Annie."  
  
"Mmm, watching me sleep hmm?" I stretched and sat up.  
  
"Yeah, I couldn't help it, I came out here and saw you. You're so sweet when you're asleep you look like an angel. Hawkeye told me once you were beautiful asleep, but it had been so long since I watched a woman sleep I didn't believe him. I guess he was right. Watching you dream, murmuring little things to the baby, it's amazing."  
  
"I never knew Hawkeye watched me sleep, I always woke before he did."  
  
"Aha, but he's a Pierce, after sex he stays awake for a while it does that to us you know."  
  
"I know, I know! Try sleeping with Hawkeye, it's impossible!" I laughed. "Where is he?"  
  
"In his room, I heard him stir a while ago." I got up, and found my robe. Tucking a crutch under one arm, I began to limp out towards his room.  
  
"Careful Annie, you might see some things you don't want to." Daniel called. I brushed it off, figuring that anything of Hawkeye's I'd seen before. I opened the door, and went in. I left very quickly.  
  
There had been an extra figure in the bed with Hawkeye, and they had been very occupied, not the kind of occupied that could be easily finished either. I was pretty surprised that he was already in bed with a woman, but I reasoned it had been over two months.  
  
Daniel got me a coffee, deliberately avoiding me, and not saying 'I told you so!' I thought about what I had seen, then with a start realised something. I jumped and nearly spilt my coffee as I did so.  
  
"What's up Annie?" Daniel asked.  
  
"I just noticed, about whoever's in Hawkeye's bed. The covers were off, didn't leave much to the imagination. But there is only one woman in the world with a body like that. I should know too, she lost strip poker Christmas night. It's Margaret." I recalled with almost painful clarity the smooth pale skin and blonde head how they were so deeply absorbed in the equally smooth skin, long slim figure, and dark head as it pressed kisses on her neck.  
  
"I was wondering if you'd work that out." Daniel said. "It happened when she came back, Hawkeye picked her up from the station. They went out for dinner, just as friends, but like you and Hawkeye did the dame day you got divorced, they wound up together, and have been pretty serious ever since, don't take it too hard Annie."  
  
"I won't he's a Pierce after all, and besides, him and Margaret, me and BJ." I was actually very calm and honestly didn't mind. I probably would have been out and about too if I hadn't been pregnant.  
  
"Good morning world!" Hawkeye waltzed into the kitchen, and stopped dead when he saw me. He dashed back into the hall and after a hurried, whispered conversation; he and Margaret appeared sheepishly in the kitchen. They hadn't even noticed me earlier.  
  
"Annie, I'm sorry it's just that . . ." Margaret began.  
  
"Hey, you're both fully-grown, sexually mature people who have been very close. It's okay. If I weren't pregnant, I'd probably be out there too. Don't worry, we're not married it's not like you're cheating on me or anything."  
  
"Really?" They asked together.  
  
"Really!" I confirmed, "Now we'd better get ready for work, Margaret, I know your bus leaves in half an hour." We dropped the conversation and hurried to get ready for work, Margaret leaving and then Daniel driving us to work as I was still on crutches, but only for support,  
  
"Annie, are you sure you're okay about us?" Hawkeye cornered me.  
  
"Fine! Now listen I have the most spectacular news for you."  
  
"What?" His eyes sparkled.  
  
"Well, it seems that we're in a for a little bitty surprise when BB arrives."  
  
"Like?" He asked.  
  
"Like a whole extra baby, I'm having twins! Papa told me."  
  
"Yahoo! Twins I could kiss you!" He grabbed me and kissed my cheek. "Wait, papa?"  
  
"Colonel Potter, I couldn't call him Sherman." Hawkeye hugged me tightly, and then ran out and announced our news to the waiting room.  
  
"Ladies and gentlemen! Be it known that the next Pierces will be doubled!" There were blank looks all around. "Twins, Annabelle's having twins!" A cheer broke out, and people came to congratulate us.  
  
"Ahem, Hawk! Hawkeye! Ben! Benjamin! Benjamin Franklin!" the use of his full name had Hawkeye going through the roof with shock. "You have patients to attend to." Daniel reminded him dryly. He laughed and went back to work.  
  
It was fabulous news about the twins, and as January went on, I found myself absolutely beside myself with anticipation, awaiting their birth in March. 


	4. February to March 1954

February - 19 March 1954  
  
I stopped working at the clinic on Valentine's Day. I had intended to stay on till March 8, but as the twins were expected any time after the eighth month, we weren't taking chances.  
  
Hawkeye and Margaret were still together and although Margaret still lived in Portland, she often spent nights in the Cove and had become very much part of the family. She and I loved look after the two men, and they loved being looked after.  
  
The babies were very real to me now, kicking and turning. Hawkeye even remarked that it was a good thing they weren't claustrophobic, because it must've been a very tight fit in there. Although he and Margaret were very passionately involved Hawkeye was besotted by his unborn children and loved to talk to BB and BJ, as we'd dubbed the twins. BB was still Baby Bump, and BJ was Benjamin Jack as I was sure I was having a boy.  
  
We'd figured that I was having identical twins, as the chances of fraternal twins, especially in my semi-complete condition were minimal, and we were discussing other boy's names that we liked. So far we'd done nothing but squabble during our lunch breaks.  
  
I woke Valentine's Day morning to find Daniel watching me sleep again. He'd told me he enjoyed watching me sleep, and I often woke to find him smiling as he watched me sleep. I didn't mind as it was nice to wake up to a smile every morning.  
  
"Morning beautiful, ready for your last day at work?"  
  
"Yep I guess so." I stood up and stretched. Wrapping my arms around my belly I headed into the kitchen. Hawkeye was already awake much to my surprise and was cooking breakfast. I heard Margaret calling to me from their bedroom and before I had much of a chance to think about Hawkeye I turned and waddled out.  
  
"Yeah?" I went in, Margaret still curled sleepily in the bed, she smiled at me with the innocence of a little girl.  
  
"Annie, do you have any of my old uniforms? Normally I have an extra one with me but last night . . ."  
  
"Sure, somewhere in here." I opened Daniel's wardrobe and got nothing. I went into Katharine's old things and came out successful. Margaret usually had a spare outfit with her, as she never knew when she would be staying the night with Hawkeye.  
  
"Thanks Annie. Now come on, I want to see what Hawkeye's doing for us today!" She got out of bed and pulled on her robe. The dark blue satin looked great on her with her still-sleepy eyes and slightly flushed cheeks.  
  
"Happy Valentine's Day!" Hawkeye swooped on Margaret, wrapping his arms around her and kissing her the minute we got out into the kitchen. After a short but heated kiss, he let her go.  
  
"Happy Valentine's Day Annie girl." He kissed me on the cheek warmly and I returned it.  
  
"Come on, before we have breakfast, I've got something for my two beautiful girls!" He took a hand each and led us out to the living room. My bed was still set up, sloppy and unmade. He sat us down on the edge of the bed and disappeared out into the hall. He returned wrestling with an armful of pink, white and red roses.  
  
"Here, for Margaret and for you Annie." He kissed both of us as he presented us with a big bunch of roses each.  
  
"Hawkeye they're beautiful! Thankyou so much!" We both kissed him. There were six red, six pink, and six white in each bunch.  
  
"Hawkeye, you didn't have to." I protested.  
  
"I did, you never got the Valentines you deserved in Korea, if I remember, we spent them both in OR. And, you're still a very important woman in my life." He was right, both Valentine's days had been spent working out butts off, and although Hawkeye and I had made up later in Supply, I'd never once received flowers or any other gift.  
  
"Thankyou Hawk." I smiled, Margaret and I found somewhere to put our roses. After that we went to breakfast, Hawkeye, and then Daniel waiting on us hand and foot.  
  
"See you tonight!" Margaret left and ran into town to catch her bus. She and Hawkeye were going dancing that evening, and Hawkeye had set in on Daniel, trying to get him to take me too.  
  
"Okay! Son, will you let me shave in peace if I go?" Daniel asked in exasperation. I guessed Hawkeye had agreed, because I heard Daniel's voice again. "Okay, I will take her if she wants to go!"  
  
"Thankyou! Annie, guess who's going to dinner and dancing tonight?" He ran into his room, where I was dressing.  
  
"Who?" I asked innocently, even though I had heard every word.  
  
"You are, that is if you want to, Dad will take you."  
  
"Well, I might just, celebrate my last day at work." I smiled. "Help!" Hawkeye helped me wrestle the sweater over the bulge as I got stuck, laughing all the while.  
  
My last day at work was memorable, people came in to give me gifts and wish me luck. After school half the junior school stopped by to give me Valentine's Cards.  
  
"Will you be my Valentine Nurse Anne?" Teddy Williams, a 6-year-old asked shyly.  
  
"Nuh-uh, she's MY Valentine!" Cassie O'Hara bit back.  
  
"I'll be all of your Valentines!" I replied diplomatically, hugging and kissing them all in turn, and giving them a sweetheart candy.  
  
"Annie!" Alice, Matt and Lily had come by to visit me. I hugged them all at once. It had been a while since I'd seen them last. They had to go, as we had patients waiting and I let them out.  
  
"Mrs Fernshaw, if you'd come through now." I showed her into Daniel's office and went through to Hawkeye's where a nine-year-old girl was refusing a needle.  
  
"Hello Judi!" I sang as I came into the room, "What's Dr Hawkeye doing with you today?"  
  
"He's trying to give me a needle!" She sobbed.  
  
"Listen, I just happen to need a needle too, and I was hoping you'd hold my hand, because I'm kind of scared." I needed iron supplements because I had mild anaemia. Hawkeye caught the meaning and rolled up my sweater, sleeve, preparing to give me the injection I needed.  
  
"Does it hurt much Judi?" I asked nervously, faking a slight lower-lip tremble. Judi stopped crying and slid off the table she came and stood next to me, holding my hand.  
  
"It's okay Nurse Anne, it doesn't hurt, and Dr Hawkeye's not a liar. Don't be scared, I'll hold your hand while he gives it to you." She held my right hand, while Hawkeye rubbed my left arm with an alcohol swab.  
  
"I'm not so sure that Dr Hawkeye isn't a li . . ." I began teasingly and the jumped as Hawkeye stabbed the needle into my arm harder than necessary. "He wouldn't lie. It didn't hurt a bit." I fibbed, as my arm throbbed.  
  
"Thankyou for holding my hand Judi. It wasn't so scary after all." In the meanwhile, Hawkeye had given Judi her injection, which she hadn't even noticed. Hawkeye gave Judi a jellybean and sent her out.  
  
"Let's see your arm, that was a lot harder than I should have." He rolled up the sweater sleeve again, there was no serious damage aside from slight swelling and bruising, and a small dribble of blood that ran down my arm.  
  
"Yeah whatever happened to a subtle pinch or kick in the shin?" He wiped away the blood and gave me a jellybean. "I know I was about to make fool out of you but still, that was a bit overdone."  
  
"Sorry bout that," He said sheepishly. "And when have I lied to you?"  
  
"Let's see the time just then when 'it wouldn't hurt a bit' and that hurt like hell! Then the other time way back in Korea when 'it wouldn't hurt a bit' and did." I added as a tease, my tone and eyes telling him what I meant.  
  
"Annie, you were a virgin! I was careful, but it was going to hurt a bit." Hawkeye defended himself, missing the tease in my words. "And you told me it didn't hurt that bad. And I remember in the end you had a good time."  
  
"Ahem children, now is not the time to discuss your sex lives!" Daniel came in just before I was about to turn serious on him.  
  
"There is a wall between this room and mine, Hawkeye doesn't have the quietest voice, just be grateful my office was empty, as was the waiting room." Daniel was almost disapproving.  
  
"Sorry Dad."  
  
"Sorry Daniel."  
  
"Never mind kids, now come on, we're going out to dinner tonight." We locked up, and I left, feeling a little sad that it was the last day I'd be working there, ever really, as I didn't plan to work after BB and BJ were born. We walked back home and began the process of getting of ready. One bathroom, and three people always got messy. It was worse when Margaret was in.  
  
"I'm out, all yours Daniel!" I left the bathroom, wearing a silky black slip and went through to Hawkeye's room. He was tying his shoes and looked up as I came in.  
  
"Can I talk to you?" He asked.  
  
"Sure, just help here." He got me into the dress.  
  
"Mind if I watch you do your face?"  
  
"No, not if you want to talk before we go, what is it?"  
  
"About what you said in the clinic today about me lying to you about that night in Supply."  
  
"Hawkeye, I meant it as a joke, I knew it probably wouldn't be perfect. I was teasing you, you just missed it."  
  
"That's alright, I was just kinda worried when you said I'd lied." I paused to talk before I put some lipstick on.  
  
"Honey, oh Hawkeye, I don't know what to say. It was a fabulous night, I really loved it even if it did hurt a little. Honestly, there's no one else I would've rather been there with."  
  
"Not even Trapper?"  
  
"Not even Trapper, besides I have the feeling he wouldn't have been half as careful as you were. Always struck me as the 'in and out I'm done' type. " Hawkeye laughed at the description.  
  
"Glad you realised before you did anything you'd regret, now there are no regrets about it and I didn't lie?"  
  
"No, of course not, want to do my hair?" Hawkeye's hands had a magical way of braiding and twisting my long hair into a beautiful 'do' and I loved having other people do my hair.  
  
"Hawkeye," He grunted, as his mouth was full of bobby pins. "Look, thankyou for our first night," He pulled my hair back and didn't reply until he'd finished and his mouth was empty.  
  
"You're welcome my sexy little Captain." He turned me around and studied my face and hair. Carefully he unpinned one lock and let it fall down the side of my face. "Beautiful. Shall we?" He took my elbow and escorted me out of the room.  
  
"I believe that's my date." Daniel laughed, Hawkeye relinquished me good- naturedly and we got in the car to go pick up Margaret.  
  
We had the most fabulous night, dancing and dining with many other couples. Daniel was the perfect gentleman, waltzing me around the floor, and kissing my hand at the end. I had a dance with Hawkeye, which we cut short when we felt a little too close.  
  
I had to drive everyone home as I was the only person who hadn't touched a drop of alcohol all night. Hawkeye and Margaret disappeared down the beach as soon as we got back, and Daniel and I went in for coffee.  
  
"Thanks for a lovely night Daniel, it was a lot of fun, honestly."  
  
"I really enjoyed a night out, thanks for going." Daniel helped me unpin my hair and after struggling into my nightgown, I went to bed. I stirred a little when I heard Hawkeye and Margaret returned but decided to ignore anything else that followed.  
  
We woke late the next morning as it was a Saturday and Margaret only worked afternoons, so we enjoyed a day of lazing around, talking about the previous night and just having fun.  
  
I was bored at home, when Daniel and Hawkeye went to work, and I often walked down just to visit them anyway. BB and BJ were due almost any day as it was now the 19th of March and I had carried them to term. I'd been confined to the house, but there was one visit I had to make that day, to the cemetery and after lunch, I headed out.  
  
I met my family there, and we went and visited Jack. It had been two years since he'd gone, and the first year I'd visited him. Once my family had left I sat a while with him, just talking to him, and letting him know that he was going to be an uncle almost any day. After having a talk, I had a pretty long cry.  
  
"Annie, it's time to come home." Hawkeye's voice was gentle. I'd spent the entire afternoon there talking and crying to Jack without even realising it.  
  
"Yeah I suppose so, thanks Hawkeye." He gave me a hand up and then held me for a couple of minutes while I regained my composure.  
  
"Let's go home Annie, you shouldn't have come out anyway, you're liable to drop the babies almost any day now." We walked back, Daniel was slightly agitated about where I had been and told me off for not leaving a note.  
  
I went to bed that night, but was kept up by the twins kicking and shifting. I was a very tired and grumpy person the next morning, and in a very out-of-character way, I went back to bed. I woke at about 2, and Hawkeye had already come back to keep me company.  
  
"Hello Sleeping Beauty, waiting for your prince to wake you with a kiss?" He laughed sitting down on the edge of the bed.  
  
"I wish." I yawned. "Oh, how much longer are you little guys going to be in there for? Mummy's dying to hold you," I addressed my belly. "Actually I'm really pining for a good night's sleep!"  
  
"Keeping you up are they?" At about 11 pm every night the twins decided they were going to stage a wrestling match, and although it was magical to feel and see them move in the cramped environment, it was annoying trying to sleep.  
  
I got up, and grabbed something to eat before returning to the sofa. Hawkeye had folded my bed away so we could sit down.  
  
"Want a sandwich?" I offered him one and he took it. We ate in silence for a minute until I gasped, holding my stomach, my face creased at the odd sensation.  
  
"Annie, what's up? Oh!" Hawkeye turned to me. There was a rapidly growing wet stain on my front. "Well, we know what this means." He said. "But I think we can wait until dad comes home. I know it's your first time, but you got through all your other first times okay. Didn't you?" I smiled at him.  
  
"Yeah, we can wait. Hawkeye! I'm going to be a mummy!" He hugged and kissed me, as excited as I was. We rang Margaret who left work and came up as quickly as possible to be a midwife, and called everyone else that we knew. The Potters, BJ and Radar all made us promise to call them as soon as the babies had made their way into the world, whatever hour of the day or night.  
  
Daniel came back early, it seemed that word had gotten out, and like the 4077, it didn't take long before everyone in Crabapple Cove knew that Nurse Anne was in labour.  
  
"Alright, we're not doing this on the sofa, let's get Annie into my bed, make her comfortable." Daniel began giving me a hand up. I didn't want to go to the hospital as they wouldn't allow Hawkeye or Margaret in the room, and I wanted my friends nearby.  
  
Daniel gave me full check up once we were in there and I was settled comfortably on his bed with plenty of clean sheets and towels.  
  
"You're going to be a while, you're hardly dilated, and though you've had a show and your waters broke, you're no where near having these babies. Just get comfortable and wait." Daniel was right, it was a very long night. 


	5. March 20 1954: They're Here!

20 March 1954  
  
"Hang in there Annie," Margaret wiped my face with a wet cloth. "Daniel said another hour and we might have gotten somewhere."  
  
"Daniel said that an hour ago!" I replied with a moan, complaining and shifting as I had a contraction.  
  
"Annie, it's going to be okay," Margaret soothed. Nearly 14 hours ago my waters had broken and it was now 4am March 20, my due date. It looked like BJ's dates were 100% accurate.  
  
However things were progressing slowly, very slowly, I was a long way off doing anything and the twins still seemed to be very comfortable where they were. Although long labours were often dangerous for babies, we could still clearly hear both heartbeats, good and strong and saw that everything was fine.  
  
"Margaret, how long are these things supposed to take?" I complained again. I knew I was whining now, but didn't really care.  
  
"Annie, it's your first baby, it's going to take a while." Margaret replied with a yawn. "I'm desperate for some sleep. I'll wake Hawkeye okay?" We'd grown too used to reasonable sleeping hours to sit up all night anymore.  
  
"Breathe, come on, just breathe that's right, there's my girl." I threw my head back onto the pillow as the contraction subsided. Hawkeye held my hand tightly and kissed my forehead.  
  
"Hawkeye how long have I been in labour?"  
  
"18 hours," Margaret had woken Hawkeye and he'd sat with me for four hours already.  
  
"Shit."  
  
"Well, look you're a little more dilated," He began.  
  
"But if you tell me 'just another hour' I am going to scream! Daniel has been telling me that since midnight! That was eight hours ago! Get these kids out of me!" I started to cry then, tired and frustrated.  
  
"Easy girl, it's not been the easiest 18 hours I know, but it can't be too much longer, Dad says if you get another inch, you can start pushing and the contractions have been sitting at 5 minutes for three hours now, they've got to move sometime. Can you sit up?" I pushed myself off the pillows a little and Hawkeye squeezed in behind me, massaging my lower back.  
  
"That was the Potters demanding an update." Daniel came in at about 10.30, I'd gotten the extra inch dilation he wanted plus some, and the contractions were almost constant. "Margaret is telling them the news. Well Annie, you ready to become a mother?"  
  
"God yes!" I gasped relieved.  
  
"Alright, let's have a look. Margaret!" Daniel checked me out, and soon he was telling me to push with the contractions.  
  
It was still another hour before Daniel had a head. They'd propped me up on the pillows, hoping gravity would help, and it did a little.  
  
"I have a head!" Daniel announced. I breathed a sigh of relief. Things were starting to get rough, and I was in a lot of pain. "It's a head, look at that would you?" He'd delivered most of the people in the Cove who were under 35, but the miracle of watching his own flesh and blood arrive in the world had him floored.  
  
"One more to get the shoulders and after that it's smooth sailing." Margaret smiled.  
  
"Ready, one, two three! That's right okay, and now, here we go, last bit and you're a mummy. Push Annie! Keep pushing that's right, one more! Good on you!" Daniel loosely swaddled the baby in a towel and handed it to me.  
  
"Hi little guy, I'm your mummy." Sky-blue eyes stared up at me with interest as I ran my hand down the baby's face. Five perfect, tiny fingers closed around my thumb and I took a second look, and realised my mistake.  
  
"Oh my goodness, you're so beautiful honey, I'm going to be chasing the boys off with a stick I can see that! I was so sure I was having a boy, and look at this, she's a girl!" Tears started to fall freely from my eyes and Hawkeye slid onto the bed next to me, putting an arm around me and admiring his daughter.  
  
"Congratulations Annie." Hawkeye kissed the side of my head. "But if you'd like to hand her over, I think BJ would like to make her appearance." We were still assuming that I was having identical twins, and that I was wrong about the gender.  
  
"Alright sweetie, just wait with daddy while mummy gets your sister into the world a-ok," Hawkeye held his daughter carefully, and watched, awed as I gave birth the second time around.  
  
"Here's the head! It's different, look at all this hair!" Daniel exclaimed. "One more big one Annie, this is it! There's my girl! Good grief, it's not a girl!"  
  
"What? Oh my goodness, it's a boy!" I shrieked thoroughly beside myself as Daniel handed me my son. Hawkeye gave me back my daughter and I sat there, holding my newborn children.  
  
"Going to cut the cords?" Daniel handed Hawkeye the scissors. He cut the boy's cord, and then handed them over to me. I cut my daughter's umbilical cord and I just watched my kids amazed as their blue eyes, one lot sky- blue, the others more grey stared up at the world around them.  
  
"Okay, we'll get the placenta out of you, here we go, give me a hand Margaret." Twenty minutes later I was cleaned up enough to feel almost human. We weighed the babies on the 10lb kitchen scales. Miss Pierce weighed in at 5lbs 15oz, and her brother a healthy 6lbs even.  
  
The hard work of arriving safe and sound exhausted my children and they were soon asleep in their bassinettes, having been bathed, weighed and diapered. We rang Molly, the operator for Crabapple Cove, and before noon the whole town knew that the newest Pierces - Felicity Margaret and Benjamin Jack - had finally arrived. Daniel was ringing everyone as I was too exhausted to get out of bed to the phone in the kitchen, and Hawkeye was enjoying a cigar on the porch with Margaret cuddled against him.  
  
"Everyone sends their heartiest congratulations, your mother sends her love, and she says that she and Patrick will come up today. She won't bring the kids just yet though, she knows you need to rest." Daniel kissed my forehead as I lay in his bed, absolutely worn out.  
  
The rest of the day passed in a blur, visitors bringing flowers and gifts, Mum and Patrick admiring their grandchildren, giving them their first feeds and by 7pm that night I was sound asleep.  
  
It had been a huge day for everyone involved, but if I had half the chance I would have done it all over again. 


	6. April to May 1954: Springtime and the li...

April-May 1954  
  
"Yes, you are just so beautiful. Mmm hmm, sure you are." Daniel crooned to his granddaughter. I laughed, Daniel was besotted by Felicity and BJ and was currently changing Flick's diaper.  
  
I glanced down to the dark little head that nursed at my breast. He was a good eater, even at 22 days old. His sister wasn't really. She had a small meal whenever she woke, and usually wanted a snack every two hours, and never suckled for more than about 10 minutes.  
  
"Hey Daniel," I sat BJ up on my shoulder and rubbed his back for a bit he drank too quickly and had wind. He gave a hiccup or two and settled down.  
  
"Trade you, Felicity's getting niggly for a meal and BJ sure needs a diaper change!" We swapped babies and Felicity had a quick drink while Daniel made all sorts of comments about what BJ had in his diaper.  
  
In the kitchen sounds of playful bickering erupted as Hawkeye and Margaret cooked dinner. Daniel and I were tyring to settle the babies long enough for us to have a meal together.  
  
"This is how you do it, didn't Annie teach you anything?"  
  
"No, this is how you do it!" I'd taken a clean Ben from Daniel and was now rocking both of my children to sleep.  
  
"Pierce, remember I outrank you!" There was silence after and I guessed Hawkeye and Margaret were making up physically. Daniel's voice telling them off as the soup boiled over two minutes later told me I was right. I ignored the noise in the kitchen, and sang to my babies, their little eyes closed heavily.  
  
"Goodnight Felicity, goodnight BJ, please stay asleep long enough for us to eat in peace." I lay both babies down carefully and made sure they were happy. Tiptoeing from the lounge room I went and had dinner.  
  
"BJ, you have no idea how special they are." I smiled, over the phone.  
  
"I could take a guess. About as special as Erin is to Peggy and I, and about as special as our new baby is."  
  
"BJ Honnicut, you start explaining!"  
  
"Peggy's pregnant, about three months along actually." I did some quick maths.  
  
"That means she got pregnant what, December, January about. You were glad to be back!"  
  
"Yes, well, I did miss her."  
  
"As I very nearly found out." We shared a good-natured laugh then.  
  
"Look BJ, Hawkeye's trying to rip the phone out of my hand, I should go alright?"  
  
"Take care of your babies!"  
  
"Love you Beej," I handed the phone over the Hawkeye. Margaret was playing with the babies in the living room.  
  
"Oh look! Here's your mummy BJ, because someone needs a diaper change!" She cooed, handing me my wet-bottomed son.  
  
"Thanks Margaret!" I accepted my month-old son. I could barely believe that it had been four weeks since I'd given birth. My babies had grown so much since.  
  
"Annie, can I talk to you?" Margaret lifted Felicity from her pram and carried her into the bathroom behind me.  
  
"Sure, penny for your thoughts." I put BJ down on the change table and began to remove his winter clothing.  
  
"Well you know about Hawkeye and I right?"  
  
"Yeah, everyone in the Cove knows too. Ah!" I grabbed the cloth diaper from next to the change table and angled it over BJ. "Pee fountain!" Margaret had hysterics.  
  
"That's why I handed him over! I didn't want to be hit in the face! Now, here's the thing, I think I'm pregnant."  
  
"What!" My yell scared both babies into a wail. It was a minute or two before we could keep talking.  
  
"I thought that's how you'd react. I mean, you've only just given birth to his children, and here I am, expecting another. Well, I don't know yet, but I do think so."  
  
"We're going to find out, and if you are that's okay. You two obviously love each other a lot."  
  
"Thanks for understanding."  
  
"What are friends for, but if you are, be prepared to be Mrs Pierce, he won't have it any other way."  
  
"That's the other thing. I don't want to stay if I am. I can raise a baby alone. I mean, I love Hawkeye, but I couldn't I really couldn't."  
  
"Oh, because of me?" I applied powder to BJ's bottom.  
  
"Sort of, but he wouldn't be able to handle it if I was as well."  
  
"I see," I lifted a clean BJ off the change table and Margaret set in on Felicity, neither of us talked anymore after that, there was too much to think about.  
  
Three days later, I went into town to visit my family. I couldn't push two prams at once, but I could carry two babies, so I wound up with very full arms. After visiting them, I headed to the hospital where Margaret worked.  
  
"Annie!" It was another nurse, Christina who I'd met once or twice before. "Oh this must be Felicity and Benjamin! What beautiful babies!"  
  
"Here, do me a favour." I shifted Felicity out of my arms and into Chrissie's arms. Felicity, the more sociable of my two enjoyed being shifted from person to person and liked being held closely.  
  
"Margaret's right through here."  
  
"What!" Margaret snapped irritably as we entered her office, throwing down her pen in a display of bad temper.  
  
"Take the twins to the staffroom, show them off, you're dying to I can tell." I handed Ben over; he immediately began to wail. "Don't mind if he cries, he just doesn't like many people." Chrissie left.  
  
"Thank goodness this is a paediatrics ward." Margaret commented as Ben's wails echoed down the hall.  
  
"Yeah, now Margaret, what is it?"  
  
"I'm not, it came back negative, twice! I took two to be sure!" I hugged her jubilantly.  
  
"That's wonderful to hear! I guess you're not leaving Hawkeye then?"  
  
"That's what I wanted to talk to you about. Am I just some rebound, or what? I don't know."  
  
"If you were a rebound, he would have been in bed with you the same day our divorce was signed. Instead he was in bed with me, I guess I'm a rebound for myself." Margaret laughed. "He does care for you."  
  
"But I just don't feel comfortable living with him any more, it's great, but we're different really. Look at us, loves the quiet little town, where not much changes. I do enjoy it there, don't get me wrong, but I prefer the city, and noise, and the army."  
  
"Well Margaret, listen to me, you're a very clever, very independent thirty- well-that's-not-important, but you're smart enough to do what you feel is best okay?"  
  
"Thanks Annie, want to come on rounds with me?"  
  
"Sure, but I'd better collect Ben first, I think his heart will break if he's away from mummy much longer." We caught the bus back when Margaret's shift finished, and for the whole ride she was quiet and thoughtful.  
  
"Well, well, if it isn't the two most beautiful women to ever grace god's green earth!" Daniel was sitting out on the front porch reading a newspaper.  
  
"Hello Daniel," I bent and kissed him.  
  
"Have a good day out?"  
  
"Yeah, they were very good," I meant the twins who were sound asleep.  
  
"Hello beautiful," Hawkeye addressed both Margaret and I, and kissed his daughter and son as I carried them both into the house, Margaret wanted to talk to Hawkeye.  
  
"Daniel, could you give me a hand here?" Daniel looked puzzled and stood up.  
  
"Sure, what do you need?" I waited until we were inside and the door was closed before I answered.  
  
"Margaret wants to talk to Hawkeye, and I figured now would be a good time."  
  
"Right, smart girl, want to help me with dinner?"  
  
"Sure, just let me put the kids down." Once they were settled, and they were tired, it had been a pretty big day for them, I went into the kitchen and helped Daniel cook.  
  
"What did I do wrong?" Hawkeye moped on my sofa bed that night. After having the twins I had spent a week in Daniel's bed while he slept on the sofa, but I had moved out again.  
  
"Hawkeye, you didn't do anything wrong, she's just not ready for that." Margaret had talked to Hawkeye, and told him she was leaving. She'd gone that night, not wanting to wait around.  
  
"I couldn't keep you, I couldn't keep her, I couldn't keep Carlye, and now Trapper's dating her! I always thought I had love down to a fine art." I reached over the gap between us and brushed a lock of hair out of his eyes. The silky black hair moulded easily to my touch, the soft smoothness exactly that of little Ben's.  
  
"Oh, you do, especially the physical side! Don't worry; if I remember rightly, I was the one who couldn't keep you. Listen, you'll find a special girl, who knows, you might even get married and settle down!" Hawkeye laughed, one hand resting on my hip as we lay on our sides and faced each other.  
  
"God forbid I actually settle down!" There was a smile and laughter in his words, but at the same time he was sad.  
  
"Hawkeye, you've got a lot going for you, funny, smart, a great doctor, hopeless romantic, and sexy. There'll be someone out there who'll see that eventually."  
  
"I hope so, it's not like you'll ever have any problems finding romantic interest, just go down to Boston, I could name a very well-off man who'd have you."  
  
"Charles?" Disbelief was plain in my voice.  
  
"Oh you had him in a real tizz, couldn't keep his eyes off you! The only thing that stopped him pursuing you was me, and that gold ring."  
  
"This one?" I teased, showing Hawkeye the Korean ring. Laughing, he pulled at my chain my two rings, and Hawkeye's wedding band still hung with the cross.  
  
"I think he seriously would go for you if you let him."  
  
"I'm not moving to Boston Hawkeye." I laughed. "I know you want to get rid of me, but I'm here to stay!"  
  
"Good, because I couldn't bear being away from my gorgeous babies."  
  
"They are sweet aren't they?"  
  
"Little miracles, I can't believe that one huge night in Seoul made them."  
  
"I can't believe I got them out of me, look at how big they are now!"  
  
"Well," Hawkeye leaned closer to whisper "Just to let you know, they're going to get a whole lot bigger over the next few years!"  
  
"I know," I whispered back, "And Ben certainly has your height!"  
  
"And Felicity has yours!" It was funny, BJ was a miniature Hawkeye, and Felicity was a tiny replica of me.  
  
"That's not my fault, she obviously got your mother's too!" Katharine had been no taller than I was. Hawkeye used our close proximity to his advantage, grabbing me and wrestling with me.  
  
"Hawkeye! You let me go!" I laughed from where I lay on my stomach Hawkeye holding my arm behind my back.  
  
"Never!" Hawkeye laughed, and I gave a resigning sigh.  
  
"You asked for it!" Hawkeye didn't quite know what happened, but somehow he wound up on his back, and I was sitting on his stomach, my hands resting on his shoulders just enough to keep him down.  
  
"Uncle!" Hawkeye laughed. "My mistake for thinking you wouldn't have stayed that strong since you got pregnant." I let his shoulders go as Daniel walked in.  
  
"Son, I don't really recommend that activity in light of recent events, and Annie, you gave birth just over a month ago, your body couldn't handle anything like that yet." He left again.  
  
"Always thinks the worst of us doesn't he?" Hawkeye laughed as I got off him.  
  
"Well, Hawkeye, look at us." Hawkeye obeyed, glancing down at himself and then giving me a once over. "You're hours out of a relationship, wearing only your shorts, lying on the bed with your ex-wife sitting over you and only wearing pyjamas herself. It can't have looked good."  
  
"Yeah, you're right I guess. Probably thought I was on some rebound. I'm going to bed."  
  
"Night Hawkeye." I leaned over and kissed his forehead. He got up, and bent over his kids, kissing their tiny sleeping faces with a smile. I dropped off too, only to be woken later by Felicity wanting a snack.  
  
Spring in the Cove was wonderful, everything was coming back to life after the winter freeze. Seals were playing in the harbour and there were a few seal pups around. Everything was green again, and looked beautiful.  
  
"I love this!" I smiled, sitting on the front lawn with Alice who had come to spend the day with me.  
  
"What do you love Annie?" Alice asked, holding Felicity who kept Alice's thumb in a warm, tight grip.  
  
"This, Crabapple Cove. It's so beautiful! Oh, yeah sure it is, just like you." I cooed at BJ who was in my arms, and he gave a tiny, cute smile. At six and a half weeks old, both of my babies were thriving, and very well developed.  
  
"You're silly Anne," Alice giggled.  
  
"No I'm not, I just love my babies, and they're your niece and nephew, look Felicity likes being talked to, don't you Angel-pie, yes see?" Felicity, very alert and responsive for her age, blinked and smiled.  
  
"Do you sing to them Annie?" Alice asked. "I 'member you used to for us, what did you sing?"  
  
"The lullaby I made up, remember?"  
  
"You're a sweet little babe, ain't nothing can harm you?" Alice asked.  
  
"Yep, that's it. Because when you sleep the angels watch, and keep you safe and sound." I finished the line.  
  
"Tell me about who Ben's named after please Annie," Alice asked and I smiled, thinking of my friend on the other side of the country.  
  
"BJ, he's a man I met in Korea, he's Hawkeye's and my best friend along with Margaret. The four of us were always together, talking. He's really funny and he has a baby daughter, Erin and his wife will be having a baby in October. Yep, that's Uncle BJ Benny-boy, you're named after him." I addressed my wide-eyed son.  
  
"You're crazy though Annie, look at how you talk to them." Alice giggled again.  
  
"Alice pet, you'll understand when you're a mummy. But listen, if you're going to catch the bus we'd better start going now. Because I need to give them a feed before we walk to the stop." She handed Felicity over and stood up.  
  
"I need to go to the bathroom okay?"  
  
"Sure, just inside, I'll get the babies ready okay?" I took the kids inside, and started to give them a feed. I could feed both babies at once, although I preferred to feed them separately.  
  
Alice remerged from the bathroom and sat down while I fed the twins. I was pretty much focused on my babies, but I noticed she was shifting and twitching nervously.  
  
"Annie?" She whispered at last, fidgeting nervously.  
  
"Yeah my beautiful Alice?" I lifted my head and looked at her.  
  
"You remember how Mum told me I'd be changing a lot in the next few years?"  
  
"Yes sweetie, why?" I'd been through it with Lily too, sharing ten-year-old experiences.  
  
"Coz I think I'm changing."  
  
"Well, sweetie, you're already changing, you've got taller and you're starting to get breasts. Would you burp Flick for me?" Alice took the sweet infant and obeyed.  
  
"It's not what I mean, I mean, I've started my period."  
  
"Alice! You really are growing up! Why didn't you tell me right away?"  
  
"I wasn't sure if you'd mind being interrupted while you were feeding."  
  
"I wouldn't have minded Alice, come into the bathroom I'll get you fixed up." I lay the babies on their backs on the rug. They seemed pretty happy for the moment. After getting Alice sorted, I went back into the living room. Ben was sound asleep, and Felicity had one fist shoved firmly in her mouth. We picked them up and walked to the bus stop. Alice got on the bus, and I walked back, a baby in each arm. Hawkeye met me at the turn to Redwood Road where we lived.  
  
"Did I miss Alice?"  
  
"Yeah, Lily has a dance recital tonight, and she's got to be back early to see it." I handed Hawkeye his namesake.  
  
"Reckon you can live without feeding the babies for a few hours while Dad minds them?"  
  
"No, Felicity needs a meal every two hours." I replied seriously.  
  
"When does the show start?"  
  
"Seven, finishes at eight-thirty."  
  
"Well, that's only an hour and a half, what if we see if Margaret can take the twins? It'd do you good to have a night out, and once the recital is over, we can go back to Margaret's and you can feed our daughter."  
  
"Alright then Hawkeye." I smiled, as we got in. We rang Margaret and she agreed to take the babies. That night I went to Lily's dance recital.  
  
"Thanks for taking me tonight." I smiled as Hawkeye lay Felicity down in her bed.  
  
"Anytime Annie, I thought you'd appreciate a night out." Hawkeye replied.  
  
"I did, more than I thought I would." I hadn't realised that I was actually dying for a little bit of me time, without Ben and Felicity.  
  
"Well, sleep tight Annie."  
  
"Good night Hawkeye." I went to sleep.  
  
I went out a little more after that, really enjoying the weather. April became May, and my babies turned 12 weeks old, and went a little longer without feeds. May was going incredibly quickly as Ben and Felicity grew and developed. Hawkeye stopped moping about Margaret as his children became alert and responsive, smiling at his face, and relaxing at the sound of his voice. At the end of May I was invited to stay at the Winchester's and to bring the babies. Hawkeye made all sorts of suggestive comments, and I had to wonder if he was right, Charles had sounded genuinely pleased about my impending visit. I was even more excited when I heard that the Honnicuts were planning a reunion for the summer. Things just didn't seem to stop getting better. 


	7. June 1954: Staying In Boston

A/N: Thanks to Tessa, and Heaven's Littlest Angel for reviews once more! Hug for you both! In answer to Angel, the kids' names are Felicity Margaret and Benjamin Jack or 'BJ' Pierce. They are both still named after 4077 staff.  
  
June 1954  
  
I went to Boston five days before Ben and Felicity turned 12 weeks old. I was going to stay with the Winchesters for 17 days, and then we'd fly across to San Francisco for the reunion, planned on July 4, my birthday.  
  
"You must be Annabelle?" A beautiful young woman met me at the airport, I was waiting at the front with a porter who had my and the children's bags.  
  
"Yes, Annabelle Dawson." I replied. Her face lit up into a warm smile.  
  
"Pleased to meet you Annabelle, I am Honoria, but call me Nora." Though she stuttered I hardly noticed.  
  
"Thankyou Nora, I'm Anne really." She motioned to a car and the driver got out and began taking my bags.  
  
"My brother was postponed at work, he sends his apologies, so I came to meet you. This is our butler, Giles, Giles this is Miss Anne, who is staying with us."  
  
"Pleased to meet you Miss Anne." He motioned to the old army-issue duffel bag I carried. It had a few toys, clothes and other baby things that I needed.  
  
"No I'll keep this with me, thankyou."  
  
"We'll go now." I got in the car and we drove to the expensive Winchester residence.  
  
"Mother, Daddy, this is Annabelle, Charles's friend from Korea." Honoria introduced me to Charles and Diana Winchester, her parents. Charles was every bit as stuffy as his son, but Mrs Winchester was a very sweet lady.  
  
"Pleased to meet you Annabelle, and these must be the babies Charlie told me of!"  
  
"Yes Mrs Winchester, this is Felicity and this is Benjamin." Honoria nursed one baby, while I nursed the other.  
  
"May I?" Nora placed Felicity in her mother's arms. We sat down on an elegantly designed sofa.  
  
"I'd give you Ben, but he's not great around new people." I explained.  
  
"Nonsense, I have a way with babies, may I try, and you must call me Diana! I want you to feel at home."  
  
"Good luck Diana." I shifted Ben over to her. He let out a squawk as soon as I began to move him, and lay on Diana's lap looking very worried, his little brow creased.  
  
Felicity meanwhile, was as happy as a clam. She adored the attention that Diana and Nora were lavishing upon her, and delighted them with smiles and soft chortles, reaching up to touch Nora's face once in a while.  
  
"Hello Benjamin, you must look exactly like your daddy, because your mummy doesn't look a bit like you!" Diana cooed. Ben had had enough; he opened his mouth and let out an ear-shattering yell. As soon as he started wailing, Felicity's little mouth puckered up and she started to cry too.  
  
"Ben, shh my sweet, this isn't how you make friends with Mrs Winchester is it now?" I lifted my son from her arms and rocked him, but he'd really had enough now, he was tired and cranky and yelled all the louder as I lifted him to my shoulder. Diana had soothed Felicity, but Ben was still crying, as I stood up and walked around a little.  
  
"Would you like a tour, perhaps walking around will settle him?" Diana stood up, Felicity still happy in her arms.  
  
"We can try, he didn't sleep on the flight down, he's not the most sociable baby. Mum says that I was a lot like Felicity there, and their father was also a very friendly baby, everyone in the town always says how much Ben's nature differs from his father's." I kept talking, rubbing Ben's back.  
  
"This is your room, next to Charlie's, Honoria's is just across the hall. Here's the nursery on the other side, I'm afraid we only have one cot though." Diana opened the door, while talking over Ben's loud yells.  
  
"That's perfectly alright Mrs Winchester, they can share the same cot. I might try and put them down now, Ben especially hasn't slept much lately. Oh, my bag's downstairs." I had taken off the duffel bag when I sat down.  
  
"Clarissa!" For the first time I noticed the woman. "Please go down and fetch the bag in the sitting room."  
  
"Yes ma'am, where do you want it Miss Anne?" The maid now turned her attention to me.  
  
"In the nursery thankyou." I smiled.  
  
"I had Charles and Charlie set everything up again when I heard you were coming. Charles is my husband, Charlie is my son, it's less confusing." Diana explained. Ben was still howling, but wearily now.  
  
"I see Diana, thankyou Clarissa." I placed Ben on the change table and took off his sweater and corduroy trousers, I checked his diaper and put him in a one-piece suit, he'd stopped crying now, but was having a small whinge.  
  
"Do you mind if I fix Felicity? I would love too, I haven't been able to hold a baby in a while."  
  
"Sure." I sat down in the rocker and began to feed Ben while Diana changed Felicity and Nora made up the cot. Ben was quiet except for a slurp now and then. Nora took Felicity and rocked her, her blue eyes seemed to get heavier, and heavier.  
  
"You can just lie her down, she won't wake." I whispered, Ben was asleep and I carefully detached him. I laid him in the cot too removing the blanket, it was too warm for that.  
  
"Sleep tight baby." We tiptoed out and went downstairs. Charles had just returned and was talking to his father.  
  
"Charles!" Both heads, as bald as each other, turned towards me.  
  
"Annabelle, it's a pleasure to see you!" Charles crossed the room in a few steps and hugged me. I brushed a kiss against his cheek.  
  
"It's great to see you too, we were just up putting the twins to bed."  
  
"Father told me, I'm terribly sorry about being delayed."  
  
"Never mind Charles, Nora met me." I realised that Charles was holding me around the waist while my hands rested on his shoulders.  
  
"Well, it's wonderful that you could come. Make yourself at home, we have our butler Giles, and a maid Clarissa at your disposal. If you or your children need anything at all, don't hesitate to ask."  
  
"Thankyou Charles, it was lovely of you to invite me." I smiled, pulling back a little.  
  
"Excuse me, tea will be ready in twenty minutes." Giles informed us seriously.  
  
"Thankyou Giles, would you like to freshen up Annabelle?"  
  
"That would be wonderful Charles."  
  
"Right this way." Charles showed me upstairs to a bathroom, and was about to leave me in my room while I found something to wear.  
  
"Wait, Charles, how should I dress?" His blue eyes swept over me, taking in my sloppy travelling clothes, with easy access to my front for breastfeeding.  
  
"Personally you look just fine, however we are having another doctor and his girlfriend for dinner, so I would suggest you wear a dress, talk to Honoria if there is any trouble."  
  
"Shouldn't be a worry, what about this?" I held up a silky blue evening gown. I'd been told to bring something nice in case we went out.  
  
"Divine." Charles smiled and left. I dressed and Charles came to escort me down to dinner when I was ready.  
  
"Who's the doctor?" I sat before the vanity, twisting my hair into a pretty knot.  
  
"A very talented Jonathon MacIntyre, he's my second-in-command if you will."  
  
"Is the lady he's bringing Carlye?" I pinned the last lock in place and applied a tiny bit of makeup.  
  
"I believe he was bringing a Miss Breslin."  
  
"That's Trapper! Charles, Trapper was Hawkeye's friend in Korea, you never met him, but he was a great guy."  
  
"I never made the connection, I do remember you received a rather surprising letter from a MacIntyre. That's them now, come." He took my elbow and escorted me downstairs. We appeared in the hall just as Clarissa let them in.  
  
"Jonathon, it's wonderful that you could have made it." Charles said, drawing his attention to us. I saw a pretty blonde woman standing next to him.  
  
"Annie! Is that you?"  
  
"Trapper! It's so wonderful to see you!" Trapper crossed to me quickly and hugged me tightly.  
  
"I missed you so much!" He kissed me full on the lips, and very surprised I pushed him off. He looked a little hurt. I gave him a very firm look, one he'd often received 2 or 3 years before whenever I didn't approve of something.  
  
"This must be Carlye," I said distancing myself from him. "I'm Annie."  
  
"Yes, Carlye Breslin. So you're Hawkeye's wife. I always wondered who would be special enough to have him settle down." I filled them in briefly on the not-so-settled situation, when we were called for tea.  
  
"Miss Anne, I checked the nursery, you daughter has woken up, would you like me to bring her down?" We were having dessert, and the babies had been asleep for nearly an hour and a half.  
  
"Please, she'll probably be wanting a bottle soon." As the babies had gotten older, I fed them on bottles as well.  
  
"Would you like me to heat one?"  
  
"Thankyou Clarissa, that would be lovely. I hope no one objects to having the baby at the table."  
  
"No, I'd be delighted." Charles replied, everyone else agreed too. Clarissa brought Felicity, whom she'd wrapped in a blanket. My daughter was suitably admired and I began to give her the bottle and eat at the same time.  
  
"She's beautiful Annie, here, let me help." Trapper took the spoon from my hand and began feeding me. I protested violently, and Carlye looked furious, but he ignored that.  
  
"John, may I have a word?" She asked with a steely gaze at him. By that stage I'd deposited Felicity in Charles's lap, and rather bemused he was giving her a bottle.  
  
"I can manage myself thankyou John." I informed him, removing the spoon from his grasp.  
  
"John?" Carlye called from the door. He rolled his eyes and left the room.  
  
"Thankyou Charles, I can take her back if you like."  
  
"Don't worry, I'm enjoying this. She's beautiful." The conversation between Carlye and Trapp was getting louder. A scream sounded from upstairs, and I excused myself to get Ben, calling to Clarissa to please heat another bottle.  
  
When I returned with my son, there was a lot of shouting going on in the other room, everyone else was trying to act normally and Clarissa had heated the bottle. I tested it on my wrist and soon Ben was content.  
  
"He looks just like his father I'm sorry to say." Charles laughed, watching as Ben drank eagerly.  
  
"I'm not, he's got beautiful soft black hair, and wonderful grey-blue eyes." Nora laughed.  
  
"It sounds as if he's very special to you, the twins' father I mean."  
  
"In a way, I still live in their house, I enjoy the company, and Hawkeye and Daniel, that's Hawkeye's father, love having the babies around."  
  
"Well, Felicity is great company." Charles laughed, quite smitten by my three-month-old daughter. "May I hold Benjamin?" My son in question had finished the bottle and was making a meal of my finger.  
  
"You can try but when your mother held him he cried, he's not one for being passed around." We had raised our voices slightly, trying to drown out the argument in the other room. Charles passed Felicity to Diana and held his arms out for little BJ.  
  
"Okay my boy, this is your Uncle Charles, be good for him okay? Charles this is my son Benjamin, but we call him Ben or BJ." I placed him in Charles's arms. Ben looked surprised as Charles supported him.  
  
"Hello Master Pierce," Charles spoke softly, BJ's eyes were trained on his face now. "I feel very sorry for you, you look just like your daddy." Ben gave a gurgle, and then a definite laugh.  
  
"I'll be, he likes you." I smiled, amazed. More shouting came from the other room, then footsteps and a door slamming. Trapper reappeared long enough to say goodbye and apologise, before dashing off himself.  
  
We spent the rest of the evening playing with the babies. Even Mr Winchester seemed to enjoy their presence and little BJ had taken to the Winchester men like a duck to water. Daniel rang at 8, and I had a talk to him, letting him know I was fine. Nora and I gave the babies a bath and by 9, they were in their cot, fast asleep. Thankfully they both slept the whole night.  
  
It warmed up a lot in the first week, and I revelled in the summer sun. Charles and I had gone out to lunch, leaving Diana and Nora with the babies.  
  
"A toast, to your beautiful children." Charles raised his glass; I touched my glass to his and took a sip of wine. We were having a very nice lunch, and enjoying our first bit of time alone, without the rest of his family.  
  
"Charles, Annie," It was Trapper. "I'm sorry about what happened the other night, Carlye was upset about the way I acted. She left me, but I'm sorry for how I behaved, I shouldn't have kissed you like that."  
  
"I'm sorry to hear that Trapper, are you coming to the reunion?"  
  
"Yes, I'd better go. See you round." He left, and Charles and I shook our heads.  
  
"He never did learn in Korea. Couldn't really commit to one woman, I doubt he only had me."  
  
"That's terrible, I'm sorry to hear that. But there's something else of great importance I'd like to talk to you about Annabelle." Charles put his glass down and clasped my hand.  
  
"Ever since I first saw you, when you greeted your husband in Korea, I became extremely fond of you. And when you yelled at me when we were in the OR, and we had to spend the evening together, I began to feel something that I had to hide. I love you Annabelle, but because you were married, I couldn't let it show."  
  
"Oh, Charles, I'm very deeply touched."  
  
"Hear me out, I still love you, and I would be honoured if you would be my wife."  
  
"Oh Charles!" He took a little velvet box out of his pocket, and opened it, inside there was a diamond and sapphire arrangement set in gold. Although probably considered 'suitable' for a Winchester, he'd obviously picked for my tastes as it wasn't too big or fancy.  
  
"I would be honoured beyond all words if you would."  
  
"I'm so honoured, you think that I'm worthy of the Winchester title."  
  
"Even if you weren't I'd still have you. Annabelle, I could give you everything you ever wanted, and look at how well the twins like me, please consider it." He still clasped my hands.  
  
"I, I don't know what to say." I stammered.  
  
"I would like to hear you say yes." Charles admitted. A million emotions washed over me at once, and began to laugh and cry at the same time. It had been seven months since I'd divorced, but I felt really good about it.  
  
"You know what, I've got a right to live too! Yes!"  
  
"Thankyou Annabelle!" Charles slid the ring onto my finger, and leaned across the table to kiss my cheek. "You don't know how much this means to me Annabelle."  
  
"Let's get one thing straight Charles, it's Annie." I laughed at him, positively beside myself.  
  
"Of course, if that's what you want." Charles smiled, he leaned across to kiss my cheek again. "I think we should go home, Mother will be thrilled to hear the news."  
  
"Of course." We paid the bill and left, both of us laughing, smiling and hardly able to believe what had passed.  
  
Diana and Nora were delighted with the news. Nora told me she'd had her suspicions and Diana said that she would have been disappointed if it didn't happen. Mr Winchester seemed pleased, and said that I should call him Charles if Charles (III) and I were to wed. However we talked them into being quiet until after the reunion, we wanted to tell our friends ourselves before it hit the society pages, and I needed time to sort things out at home.  
  
"Hey little baby, you know, when you grow up, it's all going to be okay? Your mummy won't need to work all day like she said she would, and your step-daddy is one of the nicest men your mummy's ever met." I told Ben that night. "And you know something else BJ sweetheart? You might even get a baby brother or sister one day!"  
  
"Annie, was there some concern in your voice just then?" Nora asked, she was watching me put BJ and Felicity to bed. She preferred this to helping. She said something about the way she felt watching us, the way I talked to them, sang little songs, and just treated them like precious jewels.  
  
"Yeah, I knew eventually that I'd have to work to support them, and that they probably wouldn't ever have any brothers or sisters. I know I can't live off Daniel forever. But it looks like things are going to get better Nora."  
  
"Ah!" Ben said seriously. I gave a laugh.  
  
"Is that so baby boy? Well do you think you're ready to join your sister in the land of Nod?" I lay him in the cot, it was quite hot at nights so the babies slept at one end each, and wearing only diapers.  
  
"You make Charles sound like a night in shining armour." Nora laughed.  
  
"Well, in a way he is." I smiled. "Close those beautiful eyes of yours my baby boy."  
  
"I'm really glad you agreed to marry Charles, it will be lovely having you around." Nora smiled.  
  
"I really enjoy it here. Okay, let's go before they wake up." Nora and I tiptoed from the room, leaving the 12 ½ week old babies sound asleep.  
  
"Pardon me, I think that I should go up to bed." I yawned, as we finished a game of gin some nights later. Charles, Nora and myself had been out to a concert, leaving the twins safe with Diana and Charles Senior. We'd returned and changed into our nightclothes and were sitting on the veranda trying to cool off as it was a very hot night.  
  
"Of course, sweet dreams Anne." Diana smiled at me.  
  
"Goodnight Diana." I bent and the woman brushed a kiss against my cheek.  
  
"I might go too," Charles stood up and stretched. I said goodnight to Nora, and Charles and I went upstairs. I gave a huge yawn halfway up.  
  
"I think I need some rest." I covered my mouth with one hand. Charles's hand on the small of my back guided me gently upstairs.  
  
"We have a big day ahead of us tomorrow." The seven of us were heading west for the reunion in the morning.  
  
"Goodnight Charles." I bent and kissed his head as he sat on the bed taking his slippers off. I sat down beside him and he put his arms around me.  
  
"Ah, my sweet." He murmured, kissing my neck a couple of times and laughing softly as he did so. I giggled a little, pushing him off teasingly.  
  
"I thought you said we needed to get some sleep."  
  
"Ah, but you said rest, there's a difference between sleep and rest." He laughed, his thumb stroking my cheek.  
  
"That's nice Charlie dear, but don't get your hopes up, remember I tore pretty badly." During labour, some of the tissues had torn needing stitches, and although it wasn't and never had been causing me pain, Daniel told me not to do things that would risk re-tearing it for the next few months because if it did, I would definitely get infected. He told me no running or horse riding, and careful dancing, but what he really meant was no sex.  
  
"I understand completely and don't think that I was putting you under any pressure Annie." He said.  
  
"You weren't I was just nipping all hope in the bud." I kissed him briefly.  
  
"You little minx." He lay back on the bed, taking me with him, I let him kiss me for a second before I pulled away.  
  
"Goodnight Charles." I said pointedly, rolling to the other side of the large bed.  
  
"Sleep well Annie." He kissed the back of my hair, but I was already half asleep and too tired to reply.  
  
"Master Charles, Miss Anne, Mrs Winchester requested I we wake you." Giles knocked on the door.  
  
"Thankyou Giles; that will be all." Charles replied. We'd heard the knock and we were stretching, waking up slowly and luxuriating in the pleasant half-light.  
  
I'd better check on Ben and Felicity, I'm going to need to bottle feed them before we get on the plane so they stay happy as long as possible, I can't heat a bottle on the plane so I'm going to have to breastfeed sometime, but the longer I can put it off, the better. Whoever thought having kids would be so much trouble?" I laughed.  
  
"Obviously not you!" Charles remarked with a smile. I slapped at his rear as he turned away, and went to get the babies sorted.  
  
Several hours later, once we'd packed, the kids had been fed, changed, dressed, played with and were content, we went to the airport.  
  
"Charles how are we going to tell them?" I asked in the airport.  
  
"It'll be okay." Charles smiled, "Don't worry that beautiful head of yours about it." He kissed my curls.  
  
"If they love you as much as you've related to me Annabelle, they won't mind who you're planning to wed, your happiness should be what is of the greatest importance to them." Charles Senior said.  
  
"Thankyou Charles! Come along Charlie dear, we've got a flight to catch!" I linked my arm with Charles's and we boarded the plane. I was feeling far more positive about telling our friends, and I was just dying to see them.  
  
Wait for the next chapter July 4 1954: The Reunion to find out how everyone will take the news of the recent engagement!! 


	8. July 4 1954: The Reunion

A\N: Thanks to Tessa, Tracy and H's L Angel for reviews!  
  
July 4 1954  
  
Charles's and my taxi pulled up in front of the Honnicut residence. It was about 8pm July 3, and we'd just come from the airport. His parents and Nora had already gone to their hotel, but I was staying in the spare room, and the twins had Erin's nursery. The three -year-old was sleeping in her parent's bed for the two nights I was there.  
  
"Hello?" I called knocking on the door. It was open in seconds.  
  
"Annie! It's lovely to see you!" Peggy cried, we hugged tightly, mindful of Ben who was asleep in my arms.  
  
"Peg, you look great!" At about five months pregnant, she had a wonderful glow.  
  
"Thanks Annie, you're looking well too. You must be Charles." She turned to Charles who was holding Felicity.  
  
"Delighted to make your acquaintance Mrs Honnicut." He shook her hand politely.  
  
"Call me Peg, come in, the Potters are here too." Some people were getting in a day early, this was true in the case of Hawkeye, and any other east- coasters, whose flights had come in that evening. Trapper was on the same flight as Charles and I. The others would all arrive in the morning as early as 7am.  
  
"Well, I'd love to put the children down, they hated flight across, and they've only just cried themselves to sleep."  
  
"Of course, the nursery is upstairs and to your left. I'll get BJ to put your bags in your room." The cab driver had dumped them in the gate. Charles and I went up and put the babies in the cot, not bothering to change them.  
  
"Annie, shall we?" I turned my face up, he stood behind me, a hand on my shoulder as I watched my babies sleep.  
  
"Let's go Charlie dear." I took his arm.  
  
"Annie, I'd appreciate it if you continued calling me that."  
  
"Sure." BJ was waiting at the bottom of the stairs. I let go of Charles, and slid down the banister, BJ catching me.  
  
"Annie, you look great my girl!" He swung me around, laughing as I shrieked with fright and enjoyment.  
  
"I missed you Beej!" I kissed him shortly, just like the one we'd last shared in Korea, and he returned it.  
  
"Charles!" BJ shouted, seeing him for the first time.  
  
"Upon my word, Honnicut it's good to see you again." Charles replied, joining us at the bottom.  
  
"Charlie dear, don't be so stuffy." I reproved mildly. I saw BJ's eyebrows rise at the name, and he looked just plain confused when Charles laughed and kissed my head.  
  
"I see I have a few things to learn." He smiled. Charles and I had agreed that there were a few things that we still had to learn about each other. He had to loosen up a little, and needed to learn about being a parent, while I had to tighten up my already perfected housewife skills and become familiar with upper class protocol.  
  
"Come on, the Potters are dying to see you.' BJ showed us into the kitchen.  
  
"Papa!" Colonel Potter and I hugged tightly.  
  
"Hot dog! It's lovely to see you, and you Charles!" Colonel Potter pumped Charles hand enthusiastically.  
  
"Mildred, it's great to see you!" She clasped my hands and drew back as she felt the engagement ring. She took my left hand in both of hers, and studied it with deep thought and deliberation.  
  
"In my day when a lady wore a ring of that calibre, it only meant one thing. Who's the lucky man?" At Mildred's strong voice, Peggy, BJ and Colonel Potter fell silent.  
  
"I'm going to tell you, but keep it secret, I'd like to tell the others, especially Hawkeye myself." I began.  
  
"We would like to tell everyone else ourselves." Charles corrected gently, sliding a hand around my waist. A slow light of realisation broke over my friend's faces.  
  
"You . . . Charles . . . engaged?" BJ stammered. I nodded with a smile, leaning into Charles's warm embrace.  
  
"Well, I hope that you're very happy." Peggy smiled. Colonel Potter and BJ hugged, kissed and congratulated us when one I-want-Mum yell sounded from upstairs. I dashed up, and after a double diaper change, returned with two hungry but otherwise perfectly cheerful babies.  
  
"Well, well, well, these are the two that caused so much trouble." Colonel Potter laughed, "They are every bit as beautiful as their mother."  
  
"Thankyou papa, I know you're all dying for a cuddle, but Ben and Felicity are dying for a feed, so if you'll excuse me, I need somewhere to put my feet up."  
  
"You can use your bed." Peggy offered.  
  
"That's great Peg, you're quite welcome to come in, and once they're fed, you're quite welcome to a cuddle, they both love people." Ben had relaxed and I could give him to anyone without as much as a whimper or a frown.  
  
Peggy decided she'd come keep me company and we went into my room. I got two cushions from a chair and settled on the bed. Drawing my knees up I put a pillow across them. I settled Ben on my left and Felicity on my right. Their heads met in the middle and their legs came out either side, the cushions supporting their backsides.  
  
"That's clever." Peggy said sitting next to me.  
  
"I don't know how much longer I can do this, if they get much bigger, it'll be pretty squashy, they'll keep bumping heads." I smiled at them. Ben's eyes had closed, and he'd brought one little hand up, kneading gently as he sucked.  
  
"How much longer do you plan to feed them? I fed Erin till six months." Peggy asked, rubbing Felicity's little foot. She kicked her legs and curled her toes in pleasure.  
  
"Mum managed to feed Jack and I till eight months, and I hope to keep going that long, it's hard, and they need a lot more than I can keep up with. They've been on bottles from 10 weeks, but I can start them on solids soon so the demand should ease off. But little BJ here is an especially good eater, he can empty both sides in one sitting."  
  
"Wait until they start teething, that's why I stopped feeding Erin, she got teeth early, and she bit me."  
  
"Ouch!" We talked a bit longer and once Ben and Felicity had been fed and burped, we reappeared. The babies were handed around, admired and cuddled. It was getting late and so Colonel Potter and Mildred went to their hotel. Charles was going to stay with me, somehow his suitcase had wound up in Mill Valley. After resettling my wide-awake twins with many lullabies, we all went to bed the upcoming reunion, floating on our minds.  
  
I woke the next morning about 8 I rolled over to find Charles sitting up, looking down at me as I smiled sleepily.  
  
"Morning sleeping beauty." I stretched and pulled Charles down for a kiss. The kisses we shared weren't as fiery or intense as any I'd shared with anyone else, but they were sweetly passionate and told of simple honest love.  
  
"I guess we should get up." I said.  
  
"Yeah," Charles and I got up, showered, dressed and appeared. Peggy had given the twins a bottle when they had woken, and they were now very happy on the back lawn with Erin and BJ.  
  
The 4077 were going to a restaurant for lunch and then to a hotel where most of them were staying for dinner. Peggy, Charles, BJ, Erin and I played outside for a while before getting ready to go to the lunch.  
  
"Hawkeye, Daniel!" I called, Hawkeye spotted BJ for the first time and many hugs and loud exclamations were shared. The next half-hour was made up entirely of hugs, kisses, reunions, proud displaying of my children, and generally lots of noise. We settled for lunch, by that stage both of my children had been whisked away, and I was able to eat in peace. I was sitting at a table with Hawkeye, Daniel, Charles, his family and the Potters. Margaret had Ben somewhere on the other side of the room and BJ was with Felicity on the next table.  
  
"Shall we?" Charles murmured in my ear. I looked up at him and smiled.  
  
"Yes, now's as good a time as any." I replied softly. Charles stood up and tapped a glass, calling for attention. Slowly everyone fell quiet, and looked towards him, as he took my hand and I stood up beside him.  
  
"Thankyou. I have an announcement to make. A few of you are already aware of this, and we thank you for your discretion in the matter." I glanced at the Potters and the Honnicuts with a smile.  
  
"Not so stuffy Charlie dear." I reproved, sliding my hand around his upper arm. He laughed and kissed the side of my head. Whispers and confused glances were exchanged. Daniel put a restraining hand on Hawkeye's shoulder.  
  
"Very well, as some of you know Annie has been staying with my family and I recently, and during her stay I asked for her hand in marriage and she has agreed to marry me. Ladies and gentlemen, may I present you with the future Mrs Winchester."  
  
"Of course you may." I smiled at him and as we kissed a slow, surprised clap began around the room. We sat down as Colonel Potter proposed a toast to us. Hawkeye raised his glass when needed, but was oddly quiet.  
  
"Annie," Hawkeye whispered between courses, "can I have a word?"  
  
"Sure, excuse me." We went through some French doors and into a small garden.  
  
"Annie, what the hell is going on? You're not really marrying him are you?"  
  
"Yes Hawkeye, I am. Before you ask, and I can tell that you will, it's not for money, or sex, it's just because he loves me and now I love him."  
  
"What does he give you?" Hawkeye demanded.  
  
"A home, security, everything you offered me, love, a great upbringing for BJ and Felicity. There's nothing more than I had with you and nothing less. Besides he's so passionately sweet, it's just lovely to be treated the way I am. Hawkeye I'm happy."  
  
"How can you, you've only been single seven months! You're a mother for Christ's sake, you have two children to think of!" Hawkeye was yelling now, and I raised my voice back.  
  
"Benjamin Franklin Pierce! You think what I'm doing is wrong? Boy, you'd better get your priorities straight! You were sleeping with someone else not two months after we divorced!" I had been going to say 'Margaret', but changed to 'someone else' when I realised that everyone was listening.  
  
"I'm not throwing away my life because I've been asked to marry someone who I've known barely a year!"  
  
"Benjamin! I'd known you for 13 months before I married you, that was throwing my life away! I've known Charlie for a year and a half, I'm going to be happy with him and I'm not asking you throw a huge party, or send me gold and silver. All I want to hear you say is that you're happy for me, and pleased that the kids will be able to grow up in a real home, where their mummy doesn't sleep on the sofa bed and where they can have brothers and sisters, and most of all, I want to hear you say that you're happy that I'm managing fine, and found love again."  
  
"So marrying me was throwing your life away? Well, if it was that, then I don't think you can hear what you want. Because I'm not happy for you!" He stormed inside and into the bathroom, Daniel and BJ on his heels. After some deliberation, Trapper followed, as I burst into tears, and Charles came out of the restaurant and took me to him, murmuring endearments while I sobbed.  
  
I settled down a bit, and we returned to our meals. Nora and Diana murmured a few soothing words while Hawkeye argued with BJ, Trapper and Daniel in the bathroom. They returned, looking exhausted and I could tell from Hawkeye's sullen behaviour that he had lost. However, he refused to talk to me for the whole afternoon, remaining in angry sulky behaviour. Not even meeting my gaze he ate in silence, talking to no one.  
  
"To Charles and Annie, may they have many beautiful children together!" BJ called, everyone echoed and cheered their love and agreement.  
  
"On top of that," Daniel called, "I'm declaring Annie in perfect physical health to try and create more children!" I turned scarlet and threw a napkin at him. Everyone laughed as Charles kissed the side of my head.  
  
We finished lunch and headed to the beach for a few hours, many of us stripping down to our bathers and going swimming. Edna O'Reilly and I sat on the beach with Ben, Felicity and Walter Jr, Radar and Monica's little boy who'd arrived back in April. Margaret, Diana and Charles Senior weren't going in either.  
  
"Annie, come on in, please?" BJ asked, standing over me, dripping wet. I looked doubtfully at the sea, where everyone else swam and splashed. "You went in way back in Korea and there are even more people than before so you'll be just fine." He offered me his hand, and I stood up.  
  
"Okay, but only for a little while BJ." I agreed. I entrusted the babies into Edna' s capable care and followed BJ into the waves. He led me out until we were about waist deep.  
  
"Okay when the next wave comes dive under it. Keep doing that till you're out behind the waves. Ready, go!" I obeyed, swimming under the wave. I resurfaced and kept going. BJ was there by the time I got behind the waves.  
  
"Good on you! See, you're a natural, mind you, so's Hawkeye." He pointed. Hawkeye was diving with the waves, letting them carry him to shore in a wild ride.  
  
"You can't grow up in Maine, and not be a good swimmer your life will depend on it one day, I lived in a seafront town and you could swim before you could walk." I explained, treading water.  
  
"I see, come on, let's go play in the surf, you'll be fine." BJ said, seeing I was getting tired. We went with the next wave, and once the whole camp, Margaret included, was in the surf, we started a game of volleyball without a net.  
  
Drying off, we went back to where we were staying and got dressed for dinner. We'd hired a large room, and we'd planned dinner and dancing till the early hours. BJ, Peggy, Charles, the twins and I caught a cab to the hotel and were shown into the room. Tables were set up at one end, while a dance floor was set up at the other. We had a band hired from 7pm till 11 and jukebox while the band wasn't there.  
  
"You up for a jitterbug Annie? I heard you're a pretty mean dancer." BJ asked as the band began to play a rowdy swing tune. I accepted his hand and he twirled me onto the floor. Pretty soon everyone had stopped dancing as they watched us. The song continued as BJ and I twirled, flipped and lifted. We finished the song, breathless and flushed, and we stood gasping, while 'Tennessee Waltz' began to play.  
  
"It seems that Daniel's pretty fond of Mrs O." Colonel Potter whispered to me, as I danced with him. I glanced over, Daniel and Edna O'Reilly, or Mrs O as many of us called her, were dancing extremely happily. They'd stuck up an instant friendship, and had eaten together, and spent many of the dances together.  
  
"Well, papa Daniel's been a lonely man for a very long time." I paused to do the maths. "20 years to be precise, it's been that long since his Katharine passed away. It's good that he's found someone."  
  
"No one should be that lonely." Colonel Potter said, "I suspect that Mrs O and Daniel have more than friendship." The song had finished and we turned so I could see. Daniel and Mrs O had taken a seat at a table. Daniel had got her a drink and he was holding her hand.  
  
"I see Hawkeye's already talking Radar down." I pointed. "Radar got terribly jealous when he heard his mother had a boyfriend. Mind you, Hawkeye admitted to green eyes when Daniel tried to date after Katharine died."  
  
"Or is Radar talking Hawkeye down?" I laughed at Colonel Potter's remark. Daniel and Mrs O, oblivious to their sons, talked and flirted on. Both men were agitated by their parents' closeness.  
  
"I'm not sure. Excuse me, I promised a dance to Father Mulcahy." I went and danced with him and met his sister, Sister Catherine Angelina Constance Mulcahy. She too, wore glasses, and was as sweet and gentle as her brother.  
  
We kept dancing, and it was just going midnight. Erin, the twins and Walter junior were asleep in the Potter's room, and we knew that they'd all be fine, and every half-hour, someone would check in.  
  
"Everyone, can I please have your attention?" BJ was calling, no one listened. Radar called out, and we fell quiet.  
  
"As you all know, it's a very special day today, I'm not talking Independence Day either, it's Annie's birthday, come up here Anne-girl!" I went to the stage, BJ helping me up.  
  
"Okay, I know you haven't been given anything today, but we got together and arranged something for you. We're breaking a lot of rules here, so you better be grateful!" The band began to play 'Happy Birthday' and Marcia, the Honnicut's next-door neighbour appeared from somewhere. She was holding a box and she put it on the stage.  
  
Everyone finished singing and I bent down and opened it. Four big brown eyes peered out at me and I knew now why they'd broken rules for me.  
  
"We weren't sure if you'd appreciate them after having the kids, but we couldn't think of anything better for you, I hope you like them." BJ said tentatively.  
  
"Oh they're beautiful! Thankyou guys!" Two black, brown and white beagle puppies sat in the box. I picked them up and cuddled the soft little bodies to my cheek. I stood up, the puppies still cradled to my chest.  
  
"You've got a girl and a boy there, brother and sister. We couldn't bear to part them." Peggy explained. "Marcia's been looking after them for the last two days."  
  
"You guys are wonderful! How did you know I loved Beagles?"  
  
"Talked to Hawkeye." BJ replied with a grin. "The breeder named them already, the male, the one with the black ears is Captain and the female with brown ears is Glory. Now I hate to part you, but you'd better give them back to Marcia so she can get them out of here before one of them . . . or us gets into trouble." I kissed my new puppies and placed them back in the box. Marcia made a hasty, secretive exit.  
  
"Thankyou guys so much! I never expected something like this, you know how to make a girl feel really special." I kissed BJ on the cheek.  
  
"Come on down from there Annie." Charles said. I went to the edge of the stage and he put his hands on my waist, lifting me down. I wrapped my arms around him, as someone put on a slow record. We began to dance.  
  
"How do you think Hawkeye's taken it my sweet?" Charles whispered as we danced.  
  
"Not well, you saw the scene he created at lunch, and he hasn't talked to me or danced with me since. He'll barely look at the twins if I'm holding them. Speaking of which. . ."  
  
"I checked them just before Marcia arrived, sleeping like babies, as are Walter and Erin." I smiled at him gratefully. BJ and Hawkeye were talking in low voices, but I still heard their conversation.  
  
"Look at them, I should be the one holding Annie like that. I can't bear to think of what they do, and I don't mean smiling and laughing and flirting they way they are, I mean whatever they do in the bedroom, I can't bear the idea of Annie with anyone else, she's got such a beautiful body, and she's so perfect, I don't want to think of anyone, anyone hurting her or touching her like that." Charles held me a little tighter as he heard that.  
  
"I wouldn't hurt you Annie, you know it." He whispered.  
  
"I know Charlie dear, I love you." He kissed me gently, murmuring his reply.  
  
"Hawkeye, look at them, he wouldn't hurt her. Besides, Annie has a right to live too. It's been seven months, she deserves happiness let her have it, you're not married to her anymore, she's got a right to live and enjoy herself. Don't let your jealousy or whatever it is you have stand in her way. Margaret told me about you and her, that was two months after, don't be a hypocrite, don't turn into Frank Burns, let Annie have her happiness."  
  
"It means she'll move to Boston." Hawkeye sighed. I cuddled a little sleepily into Charles's shoulder.  
  
"You'll work something out, you'll still get to see the kids if that's what you're worried about. I know Anne, we had our share of heart-to-hearts, I've never met a sweeter girl, and she wouldn't take your children away from you like that." The song finished, and a few people swapped partners. Charles and I didn't we were both perfectly content to hold each other, my head against his chest while I listened to his heartbeat.  
  
Peggy and BJ were dancing so Hawkeye was dancing with Monica O'Reilly. Radar was dancing with his mother, having pried her away from Daniel. I could see that Monica was talking some sense into Hawkeye, he was relaxing as Monica's sweet Irish lilt calmed him.  
  
"Don't look now, but I think someone's coming around." Daniel had approached us, and was referring to Hawkeye. The song had finished and Hawkeye was dancing with Mrs O, looking somewhat confused, but much calmer. Nora invited herself for a dance with Charles, so Daniel took me for a turn around the floor.  
  
"Annie, I checked the twins, right as rain." Margaret came up as the song ended.  
  
"Thanks Margaret, you're an angel. I was just going to go up and you saved me the walk." I spotted Hawkeye looking at me, and I smiled. He looked away, but began shuffling in my direction so Margaret and Daniel hurriedly decided to dance.  
  
"Want a dance?" Hawkeye asked sheepishly. I smiled and accepted his offer. "I've Got You Under My Skin" began to play and we shared a reminiscing smile as we moved into each other's arms.  
  
"Anne, I'm sorry about how I behaved, I was really selfish and childish. What I did was wrong, I'm sorry." He said sincerely. "I hope you're very happy and that you can have all the beautiful children you want so badly."  
  
"Thankyou Hawkeye, your apology is accepted." I smiled at him. He grinned and dipped me so enthusiastically I had to clutch at him to stay on my feet.  
  
"You coming back to the Cove?"  
  
"I've got my ticket booked, I'll have to. But I'm only going to be there long enough to get my things sorted."  
  
"I'll miss you, you know that."  
  
"I'll miss you too, but I promise I'll get on a train Friday evening, and come down and spend Saturday with you every week that I can so you can see your babies."  
  
"Good, want to extend the dance?" I laughed and accepted the offer; we were having a last few dances before heading back. I had promised final dances to BJ, Trapper, Daniel, Colonel Potter, Charles and Radar.  
  
"I can't believe I was right. I saw the way he used to look at you, but I never thought it would come to this." Hawkeye shook his head disbelievingly.  
  
"I had no idea he felt that way until he just said out of the blue he loved me and proposed." I smiled at Charles over Hawkeye's shoulder.  
  
"How could you just say yes like that? It took 20 minutes for you to answer me."  
  
"I don't know Hawkeye, I just felt right about it." The song finished. I moved on, it was close to 2am now, and we had our last dances. The last dance was pretty sweet, husbands and wives paired up, Charles and I danced together, and Margaret and Hawkeye even danced, but the best bit of the evening was Daniel and Mrs O dancing cheek-to-cheek, blissfully unaware of anyone around them.  
  
We went to our rooms, or back to the Honnicut residence in my case. The babies were so tired, they slept the whole ride home, and didn't stir when we put them to bed. Afterwards, Charles, BJ Peg and I were so worked up we sat around for hours talking and laughing until finally we began to drop off, at about 4am.  
  
"Oh, I had the best time." I collapsed on the bed, the springs groaned at the sudden weight. Charles, equally tired, collapsed on the bed next to me.  
  
"It was a divine night." Charles agreed. I giggled a little, remembering the other time Charles and I had danced the night away. In our non-existent sobriety, we'd over-used 'divine' before passing out, fully dressed. I snuggled against Charles sleepily, and he wrapped his arms around me.  
  
"My ever beautiful Annie, was Daniel serious when he said you were physically fit?"  
  
"Yes Charlie dear, he said I'm quite okay as long as you're . . I'm . . . we're careful." I laughed. Chuckling softly Charles kissed me and we wound up consummating our relationship. I had to wake with the babies the next morning, after 2 hours sleep, and I forced myself into an unusually bright nature for that early in the morning.  
  
"You're perky." BJ commented, sipping his coffee while Erin had breakfast and I bottle-fed Ben. Peggy and Charles were still asleep.  
  
"I had the best time!" I beamed.  
  
"When, at the reunion or last night?" BJ queried with a smile.  
  
"Yes," I responded happily. "And tell Peggy she should probably change the sheets before anyone else uses that bed." I added with a grin. BJ stood up, and wrapped his arm around my head, ruffling my hair affectionately.  
  
"That's my girl, always a winner with the guys weren't you?"  
  
"Shh, not in front of the children." I reproved. Ben still sucked on his bottle, Felicity chewed her fist in the playpen in the living room and Erin was happily attempting to neatly eat toast.  
  
"I can't believe I'm going home today, I'd love to stay on, but I can't." I set Ben in the playpen.  
  
"We'd have you if you could, but there's one condition before you leave." BJ took my hands and looked me directly in the eyes.  
  
"What?" I asked with a smile, meeting the beautiful green eyes steadily.  
  
"You arrange a reunion next year, wherever you are." BJ said, his eyes sparkling mischievously.  
  
"Of course!" I smiled, and I really meant it. 


	9. September November 1954: Meet The Family

September - November 1954  
  
I dashed out of bed and into the bathroom. I barely had time to get my head over the toilet before I was throwing up violently.  
  
"Hey baby, I guess you really are in there, and you sure know how to make mummy sick!" I addressed my stomach. I glanced behind me, Charles was sound asleep. He hadn't seemed to notice the past week when I'd been out of bed vomiting as soon as my eyes opened. I went and got back into bed, stroking Charles's face gently.  
  
"Wake up Charlie dear, I've got something to tell you." Charles opened his eyes sleepily and smiled at me.  
  
"Good morning my sweet." He sat up. I'd gone back to the Cove, but moved to Boston soon afterwards, Ben, Felicity and my dogs, Captain and Glory in tow, and I'd been living with the Winchesters for nearly two months.  
  
"You remember how we've been discussing starting a family once we're married?" I smiled, our discussions often turned out to be a lot more.  
  
"Of course my sweet."  
  
"Well, we're going to be starting a family a whole lot sooner, I think I'm pregnant."  
  
"Annabelle, what brilliant news! Are you sure?" Charles kissed me.  
  
"As sure as morning sickness the past week makes me. I'm going to say that I'm due round about May 13."  
  
"How truly wonderful! I guess it just happened because our heart was in it."  
  
"Yeah, we want children, so the Lord saw to fit to bless us with one, goodness, I'll be four months gone when we marry!" We'd planned the wedding, a huge event for January 6 1955.  
  
"Well, we can have it sooner before Christmas, or after you've given birth." Charles offered.  
  
"No, we don't need to worry about that." A yell came from the nursery. Ben and Felicity were awake, and I brought them into our bed for a cuddle.  
  
"They're beautiful Annie, and Felicity looks so much like you." Charles admired his nearly 6mo stepchildren.  
  
"Ben looks just like his daddy though, oh there's a clever boy!" Ben had gotten onto his hands and knees and was rocking a little, but not crawling.  
  
Nora came in with a knock and smiled at the family cuddle that was going on.  
  
"Mother and I will feed and bath the kids this morning if you like Annie, remember you and Charles both have work." Charles was at Boston Mercy, and I went in with him two days a week. I helped wherever I was needed, on rounds, or even in the OR, I wasn't paid, as it was mostly to keep me busy and allow Diana and Nora to spoil the babies rotten without me intervening.  
  
"Just Annie and me and baby makes . . . five we're happy in my, Blue Heaven!" Charles was happily singing as he shaved, while I showered, singing something completely different, but equally off-key.  
  
"Do you want to tell your family?" I asked, I'd decided most of my side could wait until the wedding. We were doing a round in the hospital as I talked.  
  
"No, Father will insist that we marry sooner. I am sure that he will notice eventually, especially if you were anything like you were in your first trimester with the twins"  
  
"What do you mean?" I asked nonchalantly.  
  
"You could cry at the drop of a hat, you ate enough to give Radar a good run for his money, the insomnia, the exhaustion, oh and then your constant griping about breast pain, and you had extreme morning sickness very early on." Charles laughed, before turning towards his patient. I smiled, and kept going.  
  
"Miss Anne, a Mr Honnicut telephoned while you were out, he says that he'd like you to call him at San Francisco General Hospital as soon as you're available." Clarissa informed us as soon as we'd got home.  
  
"The hospital?" I echoed, she handed me the piece of paper with the phone number on it. I went into the kitchen and rang BJ at once, even though both Ben and Felicity were shouting for dinner.  
  
"Hello, Dr Honnicut." I'd been put through to the brand-new Chief Surgeon's office.  
  
"Beej, it's Anne, why did you want me to ring?"  
  
"Oh, Anne-girl, thank goodness! Peggy's gone into labour, and it's taking forever, the baby is breech, and we're not sure if the baby will make it."  
  
"BJ, oh my gosh, Peggy's not due till October 4, that's 3 weeks early!"  
  
"Annie, I'm so worried. What if the baby . . . or Peggy . . . she's been in labour since 2am." BJ 's voice trembled. Nora brought in Felicity and sat her on my lap, complete with a bowl and spoon of mashed pumpkin, and a couple of bread crusts for her to chew. I dipped a crust in pumpkin and handed it to her.  
  
"I know you've been pushed into the waiting room and have no idea what's going on, but just settle down and remember that Peggy's going to be fine, because you know in your heart you wouldn't have let her go with anyone but the best. Easy Felicity." I stopped her from throwing her bread crust.  
  
"Are you busy Anne?" I shoved the phone under my ear so both hands were free.  
  
"I'm feeding Felicity, she's loving her pumpkin." I gave her a spoonful of the warm orange mash.  
  
"I'll let you go. Annie, besides I'm holding up the hospital's phone, and you're paying."  
  
"Okay, just don't worry. Peggy will be fine, and so will your baby. Give me a call as soon as that baby's out."  
  
"I will, bye Anne-girl, give the kids a hug from me."  
  
"And one for Erin!" We hung up and I turned my attention to my daughter. If I went out and missed giving her lunch, I was the only one who could giver her dinner as far as she was concerned. Ben was the same and Charles was trying to keep him occupied.  
  
"What did BJ want?" He asked, wrestling with little BJ who was trying to kamikaze dive out of his arms. I explained the situation and finished feeding Felicity. I swapped to feeding BJ, while Charles gave Felicity a bottle.  
  
Charles and I were both anxious and didn't talk much, just staring at the telephone. Felicity and BJ were grumpy, being in the earliest stages of teething and their whinging added to the tension.  
  
"I'll take them upstairs for a bath." I said at last, Charles decided he'd come too, and the four of us were soon settled very comfortably in a hot bubble bath. It helped soothe the babies and they started to drift off. I heard the phone ring, and Charles and I shared glances, preparing to get out to answer it. Clarissa took the call, and while she did, I admired my chubby infants, thanking God that they had been very little trouble to bring into the world.  
  
"That was Mr Honnicut, he says Mrs Honnicut is still in labour, he was just calling to let you know. If you please Master Charles, I took the liberty of saying that he could call back any hour." Charles acknowledged Clarissa and she left, placing some warm towels and Charles's and my terrycloth robes on the bench as she went.  
  
Charles got out, put on his robe, and took Ben out of the bath. I waited until Ben was wrapped in a towel, before handing Felicity over as well. I got out, put on my robe and we went into the nursery where I gave the babies a bedtime feed, they had a bottle with lunch and dinner, but morning, night and naptime were still required feeds.  
  
They were quite ready to go to sleep, and Charles and I went back downstairs, where we played bridge against Charles Senior and Diana. Nora was playing a very pretty piece on the piano, and when his parents retired, we busied ourselves by listening to Nora's playing. It had gotten late, almost midnight, and she went to bed too.  
  
After a half-hearted hour of listening to Bach, Charles and I decided that we'd keep ourselves busy by cuddling onto the couch and teasing each other with sweet, suggestive nothings.  
  
"Maybe we should go to bed, BJ probably won't ring now." Charles suggested, kissing the very tip of my nose right as the phone started to ring. I snatched it up.  
  
"BJ?"  
  
"Oh Annie, Annie, thank god, she's here, a beautiful 10lb 15oz baby girl. She's so big!"  
  
"It's a girl Charlie dear, 10lbs 15oz!" I relayed the news to Charles and he seemed relieved and pleased. "Does she have a name yet?"  
  
"Amy-Jane Honnicut."  
  
"Hmm, I think I've heard that name before. Does she have a middle name and how's Peggy?"  
  
"Asleep, took 24 hours to give birth. Amy-Jane won't have a middle name. We think Amy-Jane is perfect alone."  
  
"It's lovely, look, I'll let you go, you sound half-dead!"  
  
"I'm not used to staying awake for 24 hours solid anymore."  
  
"Neither am I, we all send our congratulations, take care of yourself, and if I can, I'll come across and see Amy-Jane as soon as I'm available." I hung up, and yawned. Charles had a celebratory brandy, and I fell asleep before I made it upstairs, and I was left to sleep on the sofa, and go up to bed when I was ready.  
  
Another phone call the next morning had Charles and I out of bed at 8. It was Hawkeye, he was going to see the baby, Margaret was going, and would I complete the quartet? I agreed at once, wanting to see Amy. I was taking the twins, but Charles couldn't come. Margaret was now Head Nurse, and was able to take time off if she wanted.  
  
I caught a train up to Portland the next day, and after meeting Margaret and Hawkeye, we were at the airport, bound for Mill-Valley. We arrived late, just after 11, and decided to lob on BJ the next day, so we headed to a hotel, that we'd conveniently forgot to book.  
  
"I only have one room with a double bed." The receptionist told us apologetically. "I can have cribs bought up for the babies, but that's the best I can do."  
  
"We can sleep in the same bed, we've managed before, well Annie, Trapper and I did, on one bunk, so I think we can survive thankyou." Hawkeye smiled handing over some cash. The receptionist bemusedly got the bellboy to show us to our room and set up somewhere for the twins to sleep.  
  
"Okay, how will we do this?" I asked, after we'd washed and changed into our pyjamas  
  
"Hawkeye in the middle?" Margaret suggested with a grin.  
  
"No, I couldn't breathe between you," Hawkeye said, his eyes already hinting on panic.  
  
"Okay, I'll go in the middle. I'm the smallest, I guess it makes sense" We crawled into bed and fell asleep almost instantly.  
  
I woke the next morning and fought the urge to vomit. Margaret was sprawled beside me, an arm thrown over my stomach. Hawkeye was pushed to the edge of the bed and was asleep on his stomach, his face buried in my hair. I crept out, and threw up as quietly as I could, and by the time I'd showered, Hawkeye and Margaret had woken.  
  
Hawkeye went and showered, while Margaret and I ordered room service for breakfast. It was just delivered when Hawkeye got out of the shower, wearing white shorts and his Hawaiian shirt. After eating, Margaret got ready and the twins woke up. Sometime later we were ready and caught a bus to the hospital.  
  
"Are your children under twelve months old?" The matron asked. Children of no relation who where more than a year and younger than eight were not allowed in the maternity ward.  
  
"Yes, six months today." I replied. I couldn't believe that it had been six months since I'd spent 18 hours getting them out of me alive and well.  
  
"Very well, I'll see if Mrs Honnicut will see you." She made us wait outside a room, and returned after a minute.  
  
"Mrs Honnicut is asleep, and Mr Honnicut isn't here, however, Nurse Brigham can show you to the nursery and you can view the baby. We followed the nurse, and she pointed out Amy-Jane. The baby appeared quite healthy, despite being born three weeks prem. We couldn't hold her as the mother or father had to be present. So we just admired Amy-Jane a little longer and decided we'd go and get a coffee when BJ turned up, very glad to see us.  
  
"Annie, Margaret and Hawkeye! Thanks for coming!" BJ was leading Erin who wrapped her arms around my legs. I handed Felicity to Margaret and BJ to BJ so I could pick her up.  
  
"Annie Belle!" She crowed, cuddling her dark head against me. She called me Aunty Belle like Corey did, but aunty often came out Annie. "See, my sissa, Amy, like you, Annie Marg! Uncle Hawke! I's is a big sissa now!"  
  
"That's all she talks about being a sister." BJ laughed, handing Hawkeye his son so he could take his daughter as Nurse Brigham brought her out. The baby was sound asleep.  
  
"We'll walk back to Peg's room okay? Come on down Erin, you must be awfully heavy for Aunty Belle." The little girl slid down with ease, taking her father's free hand. BJ showed us back to Peggy's room, she had woken now, and was glad to see us. We sat around and talked for so long, we lost track of the time.  
  
"We'll be back after lunch okay, the kids aren't going to wait much longer." Felicity was chewing my finger and looking distressed while Ben was crying outright. We hurried downstairs to the cafeteria and watched as they chewed their way through a banana each.  
  
We stayed in the hotel for another two nights, by which time Peggy and Amy were out of hospital. After seeing them home and settled in we decided we'd better get back, Daniel was lonely without Hawkeye, and Margaret had only taken four days off.  
  
I arrived back in Boston about a week after I left, as I spent a night in Portland with Margaret. Charles was very pleased to see the twins and I; and he met me at the airport with a bunch of roses, and a big kiss.  
  
The next 'event' planned was Charles's 36th birthday, where I'd get to meet his relatives, and our engagement would be properly announced. Although Charles's actual birthday was Halloween, I'd promised to go back to the Cove's Halloween Celebration so his party was November 7. Hawkeye and Daniel were going to sit for the kids for the week so I didn't need to bring them to the party, giving them some real time to get to know the twins.  
  
"Oh. Groucho!" I groaned as Hawkeye and Daniel emerged from their bedrooms identically dressed. I rolled my eyes and took off my robe. Hawkeye and Daniel's eyes visibly popped.  
  
"Wow!" I was wearing a red silk dress that reached my ankles. The skirt was full, and slit halfway up to my thigh. In the slit you could see layers of ruffled black lace and the shine of nylon stockings. The bodice was pretty tight fitting and reasonably low-cut, and a hint of black lace added a little colour to the neckline. The sleeves were tight until the elbows from where they fell loosely to my wrists.  
  
"Thanks guys," I smiled demurely, "But you ain't seen nothing yet!" I had a towel wrapped around my head and I pulled it off with a flourish. Loose, black curls fell around my shoulders. Daniel and Hawkeye just stared, even the twins playing on the floor were quiet.  
  
"It's a wig!" I laughed after a shocked silence, reaching under to pull a blonde lock out. They looked relieved.  
  
"That's very, south of the border, but it looks great!" Hawkeye smiled as we walked to the party, which was on the public beach. A huge bonfire was burning and loud music played from somewhere.  
  
"What are you waiting for? Let's have some fun!" Hawkeye cheered. I smiled, and left the babies at the Moss's house, that was the crèche for the evening, with the Moss's daughters looking after any children under five. They were dependable girls, the youngest was 14, knowing my kids were safe, I began to have a whole lot of fun.  
  
"Annie, whatever did you do to your hair?" Charles cried as I met him at the airport.  
  
"It's a wig Charlie dear!" I laughed, pulling it off. Charles looked relieved, I couldn't believe so many people got so upset by the thought of me dying my hair black. It made it almost tempting to actually do it, but I decided I wouldn't, after all I was properly meeting Charles's family very soon.  
  
"This is Annabelle Dawson." Charles introduced me politely to some people. "Annie this is my aunt and uncle Wilhelmina and Philip Winchester."  
  
"Pleased to meet you." I politely shook their hands. I could tell already in the way they smiled at me, that they weren't impressed by me, I was hardly the type of woman they would approve of, as many of them knew about my previous marriage and the twins.  
  
"Annie this is my cousin Joan." I shook hands with her and her husband. They too were extremely condescending.  
  
The whole superiority thing continued most of the night; relatives often laughed at me, and told Charles I was 'sweet' while some casually remarked on the fact that I'd already married once as though it was some serious sin.  
  
"So Annabelle, where did you grow up?" A rich old uncle, I'd forgotten his name asked.  
  
"Portland, Maine." I replied.  
  
"Oh, Portland, well, well, well, look at this Elaine, haven't been to Harvard, or even Yale, and you grew up in Portland, what is Charles thinking in marrying you?"  
  
"Portland is wonderful town, I'm very proud I grew up there!" I replied with as much dignity as I could.  
  
"Well, well, well! We are a pretty little thing, and such a spitfire too. What a sweet girl, Charles will have fun with you!" He patted my head, blowing cigar smoke in my face.  
  
"Hush Howard, leave her alone, she is very sweet. She'll be a wonderful mother." Elaine, his wife remarked. Tears stung in my eyes, and turned and left them without even thinking about it.  
  
"Nora, tell Charles I had to go." I said, when I ran blindly into her. I collected my coat, and went outside, and got a taxi. I heard Charles's surprised voice as I climbed in the taxi and it drove away.  
  
The cab driver was very nice, gave me a few tissues and then he brought me a coffee and asked where I wanted to go. I had calmed down, but I knew I couldn't face going to Charles's again. So I gave him Trapper's address, and in a few minutes I was outside Trapper's apartment.  
  
"Annie, oh what's wrong, come on in." Trapper had pulled me into the room, and hugged me to his chest until I quieted down. He sat me on the couch and I began to talk.  
  
"Trapper they're all so patronising! 'She's sweet' and 'she'll be a good mother' that's just the women and the men are even worse! Patting me on the head and saying I'm a pretty little thing! Acting as though I don't know anything because I wasn't at Harvard!"  
  
"Steady on Annie beautiful, they're just reacting to a new person in a pretty typical way. You're a stranger; it's their job to make you feel as uncomfortable as possible. I mean look at how we always reacted to a new nurse."  
  
"You and Hawkeye would've chased her." I gave a laugh. Trapper smiled at my teary face and offered me a tissue.  
  
"We teased her a bit, gave them a hard time, to get through their formality. Like you, how we teased you a little before we went to the aid station."  
  
"Yeah but they were being serious. They really don't think I'm good enough for him."  
  
"You know, if anything they're not good enough for you, and I only know one person who is, he's up in Maine with your kids right at this moment."  
  
"Don't go there Trapper." I silenced him; he hugged me to soothe me.  
  
"Do you want me to drive you home?" Trapper asked after a few quiet minutes where I just sat with him, holding him like the old days when I was an unmarried, virginal Lieutenant and he was my technically married big brother.  
  
"I can't go back and face them all yet. Do you mind if I sleep on the sofa?"  
  
"On one condition, I'm allowed to call Charles." I agreed to that. "Well, I'll find you something to sleep in."  
  
"You still have these? I don't believe it! Mind you I still have all my things too." Trapper had produced a very familiar pair of shorts and a t- shirt, both in an unappealing shade of olive drab.  
  
"They're great when you have an unexpected guest." I went into the bathroom and changed into the big shirt and shorts. I hung my dress up on the back of the door, unpinned my hair and removed the makeup. I came back out, and I settled down on the couch, and fell asleep while Trapper rang Charles.  
  
I stirred a bit later when I heard a familiar rounded accent. "Thankyou for calling me John, I truly was going out of my mind." It was Charles, but I lay quietly, pretending to be asleep.  
  
"Shh, she's asleep on the sofa." The men came in the room.  
  
"Did she tell you why she . . .?" Charles's voice was anxious.  
  
"Come on into the kitchen, let her sleep." Trapper and Charles left and I went to sleep properly. I was left to sleep there the rest of the night. I had to go and meet Hawkeye in Portland to pick up the twins, and I dressed in something Trapper found for me. I was driven to the train station, and after picking up the twins I returned to Boston to sort things out with Charles.  
  
"Annie, I'm sorry you feel that way." Charles said.  
  
"I can't be this person they want, I can't be a Winchester Charles dear, do you understand? I'm ever so happy with you, but that's as far as it goes. I'm really sorry"  
  
"Don't be, you can only be who you are. I'd feel the same were I in your place."  
  
"I'm sorry, but I really want to go back to the Cove. I'm not cut out for Boston."  
  
"Oh Annie, but I can't leave Boston."  
  
"You can't leave and I can't stay," I gave a small, rueful laugh. "Oh the irony of it. Yet we thought we were perfect for each other and we're having child. How can our baby ever grow up 'normally' when mummy can't live where daddy can't leave?"  
  
"Annie, go back to the Cove, we'll call off the wedding if you want, I can't have you unhappy for me, and as for the baby, we can work something out, it's hardly the future I would plan for my child, but it's barely an inch long, so until it's born the mental, physical and emotional health of its mother is most important."  
  
"Charles, I never thought you'd be so understand about it. In fact I expected you to just pat me on the head, say it's a pregnancy mood swing, and tell me to run along."  
  
"Anne, my sweet, I couldn't! I do care for you, and so in your best interests I'm saying do whatever makes you happy!" Charles smiled at me seriously.  
  
"Even if it means leaving Boston on a permanent basis?"  
  
"Even then." It was obvious he was hurting, but it was obvious that he loved me.  
  
"Charles, you don't know how sorry I am. I feel terrible for going but I know I'd feel worse if I stayed. I do love you, and I'm so grateful for what we had, and I won't ever look back on it with regret. You can have the ring, and everything you ever gave me." I gave him the engagement ring and reached for the silver bracelet he'd given me.  
  
"No, keep the bracelet, and the dresses, and all the beautiful things I got for the kids. Don't think of them as something from Charlie dear, but as something from Charles Winchester, your very good friend."  
  
"God this is really hard, I'm not going to start crying though. Yes I am." I dissolved into a watery, largely hormonal mess. Charles tried to comfort me, but nearly wound up crying himself.  
  
"Annie, thankyou, even though you are leaving, thankyou for everything, for loving me, and giving me a child. You're quite welcome to stay tonight if you want.  
  
"No I think I should go, it's going to be harder in the morning. I'll stay at Trapper's for a few days, while I sort everything. I guess it's back to the Pierces again." I bit my lip.  
  
"Giles will drive you. . ." Charles began.  
  
"I'll call a cab, I can't expect to use all your facilities if I'm not a part of the household." I said.  
  
"Very well, Annie, you are so stubborn." I laughed, and called Trapper and then a taxi. An hour later, with the kids bundled up for the cold weather, and the most basic things I needed packed, Charles and I said a very sorrowful, but amicable farewell.  
  
So there I was, a single mother, with a broken marriage and engagement behind me. I was back to sleeping on the couch, with no idea of what I was doing, where I was going or how I'd support my babies, to say nothing of the one I had on the way. I lay down uncomfortably on the sofa, and wondered just how much worse things could get. 


	10. January 1 to April 1955: Living in Manha...

A/N: Thanks to everyone who left reviews! I love you all!  
  
January 1 - April 1955  
  
"Oh my head." I opened one blue eye, I tried to move, but a hand kept me pretty firmly where I was. "Oh my head" I muttered again.  
  
"Welcome to hangovers you never used to suffer." I lifted my head to discover a pair of grey eyes studying me with a certain degree of amusement. I smiled a little before laying my head back down on his chest.  
  
"Oh god, what did I do last night?"  
  
"New Years' Eve party Annie baby, you got plastered!" He laughed before holding his head as he realised that he was hungover too. I snuggled against him and went back to sleep.  
  
"I didn't do anything I'll regret did I?" I asked later over a very strong black coffee.  
  
"Define regret."  
  
"No casual sex, I didn't propose to anyone, didn't join any cults, say anything nasty about people or anything else unsavoury, pose for any photos that will wind up on the hall of fame, the usual stuff I worry about after a party?"  
  
"Well if I don't count no, but the group photos we took will wind up on the hall." The local clinic was plastered with photos from recent celebrations.  
  
"That's not so bad."  
  
"Wait till you're sober."  
  
"I'm just thrilled about the idea, the twins are so loud!" Both of my 9 ½ month old babies were playing with toy drums in the playpen in the lounge, Christmas gifts from my very thoughtful mother. "Wait, if you do count?"  
  
"Then yes, you will regret things,"  
  
"Like?"  
  
"Like everything . . ."  
  
"Oh my god Hawkeye, what'd I do?" I'd returned to the Cove for Christmas, back on the sofa, and I'd spent NYE at a wild party in Portland with Hawkeye and a large percentage of the population of Crabapple Cove.  
  
"You practically begged me to marry you, you called me a very unsavoury name when I said no, then we came back found dad and the kids asleep on the sofa, and I don't remember much after that, except you calling me a certain 'four lettered word'-ing brilliant."  
  
"Very loudly, several times over, I never knew you had such a mouth Annie, however I could fill you in on what you two did, based entirely on what I heard." Daniel came in.  
  
"Happy New Year Daniel." He bent and kissed my head. "And I'm pretty sure I don't want to know." I drank another three cups of coffee and by that stage felt a little better, hungover-wise, not self-esteem.  
  
"Oh god, I didn't, did I?" I asked, swallowing.  
  
"We did." Hawkeye confirmed.  
  
"Shit." I hadn't told him about the baby, as I wasn't showing yet, and successfully hiding sore breasts, insomnia and mood swings in lots of walking, hot baths and time alone.  
  
"Oh my god, how could I? I mean there's so little stability in my life as it is, what if it weren't you I proposed to, or slept with? I need out of here, it's too insular, I need away from you Hawkeye, and you Daniel, I need away from Margaret, Trapper, Charles, the letters from Papa, everyone, I just need out for a bit."  
  
"Well, go west, BJ and Peggy would have you I'm sure."  
  
"I don't think I could deal with them either, I've just got to go." I stood up. Daniel came to me and put a hand on each shoulder, steadying me.  
  
"Annie, you obviously need a holiday, and I will let you go, as soon as you know where you're going."  
  
"New York, I'm going to New York." I decided on the spot.  
  
"Manhattan? There's someone there you could stay with." Hawkeye asked.  
  
"Whatever, I want to take the kids and go to New York for a while, I don't know how long, a few days, weeks, maybe months. I just need out."  
  
"Annie, look, if you're worried about last night, there won't be any strings, I promise, unless you want them that is. Are you trying to avoid me?" Hawkeye said.  
  
"Yes, but there's so much more than that! I need out of here!"  
  
"Annie, go pack, I'll get you a seat on the first flight I can, and Hawkeye will call whoever it is that you're staying with. Just take a few deep breaths okay?" Daniel said, shooing me towards the living room. I had packed everything I needed in about two hours, showered, dressed and got the kids ready in three, and by the time I'd spent four hours preparing, I had a flight to Manhattan, and an indefinite stay with the friend who's name Hawkeye refused to reveal, saying I'd know them when I got there.  
  
"Thankyou Daniel, talk some sense into Hawkeye, please. I'm not running away from last night, okay maybe I am, but I need a break, I need some time alone, and I don't mean to hurt him, if that's what he thinks."  
  
"It's okay sweetheart, go and have a good time, relax, and you'll be just fine. Call me, and write me all the time, I'll write you too, once I have your address. Look, that's your plane." Daniel hugged me goodbye, and the twins and I boarded the plane.  
  
Some hours later I got off the plane, two dark eyes sparkled at me almost as soon as my feet hit the ground.  
  
"Sidney! Hawkeye told you didn't he?" I threw myself at him and hugged him. I started to cry.  
  
"Yeah, he did Annie baby, he did." I realised that Sidney was sounding choked up too, though I'd no idea why.  
  
"Ma'am, they were just angels, thankyou so much for letting us play with them. Bye-bye babies, be good for your mummy now." The two flight hostesses Julienne and Sandy had held and played with the twins most of the flight, the flight where Ben had discovered his little legs could support his weight and decided he preferred standing in the aisle and holding onto the arm of the seat.  
  
"Have a nice day Miss Dawson, see you later little guys. Be good for mummy and daddy now." I opened my arms for Felicity and without asking, Sidney accepted Ben. We got my bags and went back to Sidney's house.  
  
"My wife, Elizabeth is out with Matthew and Aaron my sons, but she said I was to let you and the babies make yourselves at home. They have their own room, here, we've got out our old crib, Aaron's just got his first big-boy bed, and my sister drove hers up last night for you. So the twins have one each."  
  
"Oh, thankyou Sidney, that's very sweet." I sat down on my bed, putting Ben on the floor and smiling as his chubby little hands gripped my thumbs with sweet determination.  
  
"Can I get you a drink, would the kids like anything, a nap, a bath?"  
  
"Well I'd love a soda water, and then to get the kids down for a nap. They thought that Julienne and Sandy were just great, spent the whole flight smiling at them. I don't think they slept a bit, even when I did. Then if you don't mind, I'd really like to talk to you about a few things."  
  
"I was born to listen. Sure Annie, their room is just behind that door there, here you go." He'd picked up Felicity for me, and carried her to the room, but now handed her over to me, and my hands were full with my two beautiful children. "I'll get you that water." He left, and I set about putting my babies down for a nap.  
  
"That's how it is, couldn't bear his family, they didn't like me, I knew it. Left him, moved back to the comfort of the Cove, had a great Christmas, slept with Hawkeye and just had to escape. Oh, and did I mention that I'm having Charles's baby in May?"  
  
"Well, that certainly adds an interesting perspective on things." Sidney said. I'd filled him in on everything from the day I'd returned to America.  
  
"Things certainly are interesting now aren't they? I agreed tiredly.  
  
"Annie, did you really want to divorce Hawkeye?" He asked.  
  
"Of course, I wouldn't have done it otherwise."  
  
"Uh-uh, listen. Did you want to right here, in you heart of hearts, do you want to be apart from him now?" Sidney took my hand and placed it over my heart.  
  
"I'm not sure." I replied quietly. "I had to escape after what I did, but I didn't want to leave him."  
  
"Well, stay with us, absence makes the heart grow fonder. You'll decide eventually whether or not you want to be in Boston with Charles or Crabapple Cove with Hawkeye or even Portland with Margaret and your family. Right now, the best thing for you is to have a break and get your thoughts together without hurting anyone further."  
  
So I stayed with the Freedman family. Elizabeth was a very kind woman, and the two boys were just gorgeous. Sidney especially was taken by the twins and enjoyed spending a lot of his free time with them.  
  
"Aaron the Brave, I think it's time you went to bed."  
  
"No, no, no!" The four-year-old cried.  
  
"Yes, yes, yes! Now dismount from your trusty steed, that's the boy and I'll put you to bed. Matthew, stay here while I give Aaron his bath okay?" I lifted Aaron off the rocking horse, it was Valentine's Day and I was sitting the boys so Sid and Liz could have a night off.  
  
"Goodnight tough guy." I returned to the living room. Matthew, a 6 year old, was sitting on the sofa, a book in his hand. His big brown eyes grinned up at me appealingly.  
  
"Can I read to you until I have my bath?" I checked my watch, reading would pass the fifteen minutes before I put him in a bath well.  
  
We settled down as Matthew stumbled through a book, trying to sound out the long words himself. I helped him only a little, when he needed it. I ran him a bath and he spent quite some time in there, before his skin t8urned wrinkly and I sent him to bed. I curled up on the sofa and took up some knitting, I was making a shawl for my new baby in a pretty shade of yellow.  
  
"Hello, we're home!" Sidney called, I woke up suddenly and realised I had fallen asleep. I tucked my knitting away and ran to meet them. Liz and Sidney were smiling from ear-to-ear, it was plain they'd had a lovely night.  
  
"Were the boys good?" Their mother asked anxiously.  
  
"They were just wonderful Liz." I assured her. The night had had no dramas except for Aaron not wanting bed.  
  
"We've brought you back some cake from my sisters, it's a particularly delicious recipe."  
  
"Thankyou." We went into the kitchen and sat down for coffee and cake.  
  
"This is wonderful, what's the secret?" I asked.  
  
"Peanuts, we crush them very, very finely and mix them through." I quickly spat out any cake I had in my mouth.  
  
"Peanuts? Sidney is the hospital far?"  
  
"No, why?"  
  
"You have about ten minutes to get me there before I stop breathing, I have a terrible allergy to peanuts."  
  
"But you never . . ." I cut him off.  
  
"We got to go." My throat was already feeling tight, and I was having trouble breathing.  
  
Sidney threw my coat onto me and we ran out to the car, soon we were speeding to the hospital, while I tried to breathe. I was coughing and wheezing as my throat closed over.  
  
"Hold on Annie, we're almost there." My tongue and throat were swelling up, and I was probably turning blue when I passed out.  
  
"Nice to see you awake Miss Dawson, don't try to talk, you tracheotomy tube will make it quite impossible." The nurse said, I looked around, I was lying in the sterile hospital room.  
  
"You were very lucky, when Dr Freedman brought you in, you had turned blue and were unconscious, we had to preform a tracheotomy immediately or you would have died. He said you ate peanuts before, now just thumb up for yes, thumb down for no. Are you allergic to peanuts? Good, anything else? Okay, thankyou. Now just try and rest a bit." She left. I fell asleep at once, and was unaware of time passing as nurse after nurse came in and out.  
  
"Hi Annie, how you feeling?" I waved my hand indifferently at Sidney. "You've been in here two weeks already, it's March. You woke up about three hours after you were admitted, but you've been out of it ever since, almost comatose."  
  
"Dr Freedman, if you'll excuse me, I need to see if Miss Dawson is able to breathe alone. Just try and breathe, it won't be long." She covered my tube like I had so many times in Korea. I choked a little.  
  
"That's good progress, the swelling around the tube is going down, you should be out by your children's birthday. We just want to keep you in until the tube is out, and your voice is back. The doctor will see you this evening and decide when your tube will come out. I'll leave you now."  
  
Hawkeye knows about your being in hospital, but not about anything else. I didn't know if you wanted him to know about C4." We'd begun calling the baby C4, or Charles the fourth. My eyes showed extreme, expressive gratitude. I hadn't wanted Hawkeye to know.  
  
"Sidney, you're wonderful!" I wrote he smiled at me. He chatted, while I wrote, and the doctor came to visit. I was told that the tube could come out in three days' time and I could go as soon as it was obvious my voice was returning normally.  
  
"Home!" I croaked as Sidney opened the door for me. It was three days before my children's first birthday and with my voice back, I was discharged from the hospital that morning. Elizabeth met us, Ben holding her hands with determination as he toddled uncertainly. Felicity however was still on all fours.  
  
"Don't talk much, however ring Hawkeye, let him know you're alive." I spoke a few strained, sore words to him, my throat hurt terribly, but I was on my way to recovery.  
  
"Dada? Dada! Mama!" Felicity cheered, bashing her bowl on the table gleefully.  
  
"Mama!" Ben echoed. I smiled as I heard their little voices calling for me. They'd picked up mama, dada and bubba in the three days I'd been home before their birthday. Now, they were twelve months old and I couldn't believe that the toddlers I loved so had once been tiny, newborn babies. Life was moving fast, I was very comfortable in Manhattan but I also had plenty of time to think about where I wanted to be.  
  
"Daddy, look what Annie taught BJ!" Matthew called, pulling his father's hand towards the living room.  
  
"What Annie, oh hello duckie!" Felicity was trying to climb his legs.  
  
"Pardon me boy, is that the Chattanooga," I sang, my voice feeling a fair bit better.  
  
"Hoo-hoo!" Ben crowed, clapping dimpled hands. Sidney laughed and picked up Felicity. She had gotten to her feet but walking alone was still beyond her.  
  
"Annie, it's April now, don't you think it's time you went south for the summer as it were?"  
  
"I was beginning to think I knew where I wanted to be. And it's not here, not Boston, not Portland, it's Crabapple Cove, with Hawkeye."  
  
"Well, you can leave when you're ready."  
  
"Will Hawkeye want me back?" I looked over the eight-month bump.  
  
"He'll take you in, but whether he wants you back as a lover or friend is up to you." Sidney told me seriously.  
  
"Thanks Sidney. Would you book the flight for me?" My voice still hurt and I wouldn't have been able to stand the arguing with the airport. It was arranged that I'd fly back on the 26th.  
  
"Thankyou, have a nice day." I got off the plane two babies staggering at my side. It was late April 27 1955, and I'd just landed in Portland airport. With the help of a porter and a luggage trolley I got into a cab, and began the drive back to Hawkeye and Daniel's.  
  
"Shit!" My eyes flew open as I heard the taxi driver swear. He'd taken the corner too fast and we were spinning off the road. We crashed through a white picket fence and into a tree.  
  
The people in the house ran out, and I'm pretty sure I heard my name being called as I felt a strong, sharp contraction and passed out.  
  
A/N: Ohh, cliffhanger! I know how much you all love them! (Yeah whatever!) Sorry about this but one hand is out of order (bee sting, it looks like a balloon with sausages stuck on it!) and typing is hard with only one hand. 


	11. May to July 1955: Reconciling

A/N: Thanks to everyone for your much-appreciated reviews. There are more people than I can keep up with who've left reviews, but I love you all! You guys make it worth writing! Angel, this is just for you . . . well, not just for you, but you're the one who's asked me so often for it, so here it is!  
  
May - July 1955  
  
I opened one blurry eye, I was back in hospital, and presumably I had survived the crash. I opened my other eye and realised that both Daniel and Hawkeye were watching me with some concern.  
  
"Annie, start with the basics, since when were you pregnant, and who's the father?" Hawkeye demanded.  
  
"Steady on son, she's only just coming round after being unconscious for the better part of 16 days. Annie, can you hear me okay?" Daniel checked my pulse.  
  
"Yeah, what happened?" I croaked, my voice, although out of use since the taxi ride, was much better from the tracheotomy and talking no longer hurt.  
  
"You were in a car accident, your side of the car hit a tree, and you went into spontaneous labour. You gave birth once you were in hospital." Daniel sat down beside me, I was in the Cove's small hospital where I had been born.  
  
"My baby, is he okay? And the twins, I was holding the twins!"  
  
"Annie, calm down," Daniel put a hand on my forehead. "The twins were unharmed, a few minor scratches and were both very badly scared, but are otherwise fine. They've been staying with us, running around on both feet."  
  
"Thank god, and my baby? Where's the baby?"  
  
"She arrived alive and well, when were you due?" I replied with May 13, the date I had guessed in Boston. "That's today, so you really were quite alright, your daughter arrived just fine April 28, completely unharmed."  
  
"Would one of you please call Charles and tell him that his daughter arrived okay?"  
  
"Charles!" Hawkeye echoed. "That baby is a Winchester, that explains why she has no hair!"  
  
"Bald as a boiled egg." Daniel elaborated, "But with a beautiful pair of blue eyes."  
  
"Can I see her? Please Daniel, she's two weeks old already, I want to see her."  
  
"Yes, but only for a little while. You suffered serious concussion, it was touch and go for a while. You'll probably find that you're very tired but you'll be discharged soon because you'll just take up a bed we'll need." Seeing Hawkeye and I were itching for our own time, Daniel left the room to get my baby.  
  
"That was our front yard you crashed through, I was so worried when I ran out of the house and saw your head in the car. I knew you'd have the twins with you. I'm just so glad you're okay."  
  
"I'm glad I'm okay too, I was coming back to you, I want to be in the Cove, I want to be with you, those strings from New Year's Eve are still there if you want them."  
  
"I want them. I've wanted them ever since we signed the papers and you were Miss Dawson again." Hawkeye bent and kissed me. I kissed him back, my IV needle straining at the back of my hand as I lifted it to hold his head.  
  
"I guess I wanted them since then too, I think living with Charles was a way of saying, 'you can't have Hawkeye'. You know I love you though and I'm sorry for running off after New Year's."  
  
"And I love you." Hawkeye put his head down and kissed me again. I smiled as Hawkeye tried to look innocent when his father walked into the room holding my daughter. Daniel said nothing, but looked knowingly at us.  
  
"Hi sweetheart, it's been a long two weeks without Mummy hasn't it?" Daniel placed the bouncing baby girl in my arms, and I was surprised to feel that she was so heavy but then remembered she was already 16 days old.  
  
I got tired pretty quickly and so I fell asleep soon after. I spent most of the next day asleep too, only waking when my baby wanted a bottle. She was fully bottle fed, as I'd been out of things too long to breastfeed. Three days later, I was officially discharged from the hospital with April, as the nurses had affectionately named her.  
  
Hawkeye took her so I could walk with a frame. My legs had been pretty badly bruised in the crash and walking was a stiff, slow, painful process. He helped me into the car and we drove home.  
  
"Captain, Glory, down!" Although my pets were very well behaved and obedient, they had not seen me since I'd left for New York and were prancing around my feet and the walking frame.  
  
"Mama!" Daniel had his arms full with squirming 14mo twins who were dying to get to their mother.  
  
"Hello darlings, just wait until I get into the house and I'll have you for the biggest cuddle ever." I went in and with help sat on the sofa. Daniel put my big twins on my lap, two chubby, sweetly innocent faces stared at me.  
  
"Mama!" Felicity snuggled into me. She was a bright child and realised quickly that the baby bump wasn't there anymore. "Baba gone!" She told me, her face sweetly concerned. In my absence, they'd developed small vocabularies, Mama, Dada, Baba, Gone and Cap - based on Captain - for dog.  
  
"Felicity, baby isn't gone, baby is here, daddy's holding the baby, see, this is April." Hawkeye bent and showed my sleeping infant to my serious twins.  
  
"Baba!" Ben reached shyly and placed one chubby finger in her hand. The tiny pink fingers closed around his and he gave me a wide grin. Felicity also put a hand into her sister's and for a few minutes the twins were content to have their sister hold their hands until it was bath time.  
  
"Hawkeye, can you do the bath, I'd like a bit of time with April and Daniel." Hawkeye complied and took his children out into the bathroom, leaving Daniel, April and I alone.  
  
"I took the liberty of not setting up the sofa bed." Daniel's eyes were a mischievous sparkle as he told me that.  
  
"I don't think I'll need it, not if things are really the way I think. I'm sorry for not telling you about the baby." I apologised, while I nursed my new daughter, trying to get to know every inch of her chubby 9.5lb body.  
  
"I knew, I could tell the minute you walked in that door, announcing that you'd left Charles. Remember I saw your mother through multiple pregnancies. I'm amazed Hawkeye didn't notice though. He was always going on about how no one knew you as well as he did."  
  
"Charles didn't know until I told him." I chuckled. "I had better ring him I guess. We need to talk names."  
  
"Can I take the baby?" I passed April over to Daniel and slowly made my way into the kitchen. I rang Charles and after some wait, got through to him.  
  
"Hello? Charles Emerson . . ."  
  
"Shut up Charlie, you're a father." I spoke over him.  
  
"Annie, my sweet, do tell!"  
  
"Well . . ." I briefly filled him in on NYE, and my Manhattan visit. Then on what I knew of the crash, and finally on the arrival of his daughter that I couldn't even remember.  
  
"Congratulations! Nora knew all along, as did mother they just worked it out. However, they understand what you felt and there is no pressure for you to return whatsoever, you're free to do as you wish."  
  
"Well, I'm staying in the Cove with Hawkeye for quite some time. But we need to talk names. The nurses at the hospital nicknamed her April, but if you don't like it, I can change it."  
  
"No, April is beautiful, but I do like Emma-Rose."  
  
"What about April Emma-Rose Winchester?"  
  
"Annie?"  
  
"Yes Charles?"  
  
"Do you plan to stay with Hawkeye?"  
  
"Well, without trying to rub it in, I do love him very much, and I hope to yes."  
  
"Well, Winchester-Pierce. He's obviously going to have a much larger input in her earlier years than I will."  
  
"If you're sure, April Emma-Rose Winchester-Pierce. Charlie, you're a father."  
  
"And Annie, you're a mother, but I have to go, I'm taking Nora to a concert." We hung up and leaving my newly-named daughter with Daniel, I went and helped Hawkeye bath the twins.  
  
"I guess these guys aren't my babies anymore." I smiled, splashing warm water teasingly at Felicity's face.  
  
"Mama no!" She said firmly. I'd always tried not to say 'no' to my twins, but both of them still knew its meaning.  
  
"You've been told, but they're still my babies." Hawkeye laughed, flicking water at me.  
  
"Well, April is too, sort of, she's been named April Emma-Rose Winchester- Pierce, Charles chose everything but April." I explained, trying to wash BJ's silky black hair. He was fighting me off, preferring play to cleanliness.  
  
"Charles really said that April could have my name?" Hawkeye seemed disbelieving but honoured.  
  
"Yes, he knows that you're going to be more influential towards April if I stay with you."  
  
"And will you stay with me, tell me once and for all, are you going to stay in the Cove, with me, as everything we always seem to want, but never go out and get?"  
  
"If you're staying in the Cove with me as everything we seem to want but never go out and get." Hawkeye kissed me on the side of my head. We finished bathing the kids, settled them in their cots in Daniel's room. It was cooler in the evenings in his room, and as they slept whole nights, Daniel wasn't disturbed. I changed and fed April before putting her in her bassinette beside Hawkeye's bed, she was tired, and went to sleep without protesting.  
  
"Okay, bend your knees, easy now, there we go. You're much better." The physiotherapist told me. It had been six weeks since the accident and I had to see a physiotherapist to ensure that I regained full use of my legs. Everything else was working fine, I was no longer unreasonably tired, and was otherwise healthy.  
  
"That's our last appointment, you're obviously fine Annie." Hawkeye and I left the office and caught a bus back to Portland. Even though I had escaped relatively unharmed, it would be a while before I could catch a cab again, especially as I'd found out the driver hadn't been so lucky, suffering a brain haemorrhage and dying.  
  
"You know what that means my sexy little everything?" Hawkeye asked later that night. We'd soothed April and the twins off to sleep and were reading on the porch.  
  
"No what Ben darling?" I smiled at him.  
  
"If you're legs are fine, that means that you're fit for certain other activities." He kissed the side of my neck, drawing a soft, seductive laugh out of me. I turned and snuggled against him, returning the kisses.  
  
"Those certain activities aren't going to take place when I'm right here." Daniel's voice brought me back to earth. He was sitting on the porch swing with us. "Love is great, but not something I want to see, or hear mind you."  
  
"I'll keep quiet!" I managed to promise as Hawkeye grabbed my hand and pulled me into the house.  
  
"I meant Hawkeye!" Daniel's voice followed us into the house as Hawkeye swept me into his arms. "Not on the sofa!" Hawkeye had just sat down, with me in his lap. I laughed and pressed my head into Hawkeye's shoulder as he stood up again and carried me into our bedroom.  
  
We got things finished in time for April's 11pm bottle. She took catnaps and rarely slept more than two hours. I was glad to have a fully bottle fed baby as at the time of the crash I had still been breastfeeding the twins and even though I was weaning them the strain of breastfeeding another baby for another year - whether or not the twins were weaned - would have been too much, even though I missed the special time it gave my alone with my baby.  
  
12.30, 3am, 5am and finally 8am, April had me up every time, but rewarded me with a cute, toothless grin as I changed and fed her. I'd found that I was handling three young children under two with surprising ease, but reasoned I'd had all of the practise I'd ever need with Mum and my family.  
  
"Open wide, there's my boy!" I spooned stewed apple into the abyss of Ben's mouth. He reached for the spoon and I handed it over to him. Felicity needed help, as she had slammed her hand in the door and three fingers now resembled sausages. She had screamed the place down; Cathy Harrison from across the road had come to see if I needed help. She had been very nice and took the other two for a walk while I tried to soothe my daughter.  
  
"I'm off, tell Hawkeye to get his rear into the office by ten his first patient's at half-past! Bye BJ Sport, see you Princess Felicity, love you Annie." Daniel kissed us all and left.  
  
"Hawkeye, Hawkeye, you gotta go to work!" I left the twins in their highchairs to call Hawkeye. My heart melted as I went into our room. Hawkeye, naked and with only a sheet draped over him to barely make him decent, anyone would still able to see what was under there, lay on his back, April sound asleep on his chest, her head resting over his heart where mine would when I slept beside him.  
  
"Oh, Annie, I guess we just, dozed off." Hawkeye smiled.  
  
"That's fine, come on, Angel features, let's heat you a bottle while Hawkeye gets dressed." We wanted April to call Charles 'Dad' and Hawkeye 'Hawkeye' or 'Ben'. I lifted her up, and left Hawkeye to get dressed.  
  
"Do you know I haven't planned a reunion, and I promised BJ I would." I realised suddenly as I served Hawkeye breakfast a couple of days later. He was trying to watch both twins as they ate, while Daniel gave April her bottle.  
  
"I'm sure we can give it a miss this year." Hawkeye replied with such a cool air of nonchalance that I knew I didn't need to plan any reunion, and it was already sorted. I said nothing and ushered Hawkeye and Daniel off to work, enjoying the peaceful day alone with my three kids.  
  
"Happy birthday!" Hawkeye, Daniel, Felicity, BJ and April piled into my bed, July 4 at about 6am. I groaned inwardly, I hadn't slept well and as much as I loved my 15½month and 9week old children, to say nothing of my 33- year-old partner/lover/boyfriend and his 60-something father, I preferred an hour more or so of sleep.  
  
"Here's something from all of us." Daniel handed me a photo of BJ, Felicity, April, Hawkeye, and Charles. I had spent a day with my siblings in Portland without the kids, and I guessed that this was in aid of the photo as I looked back on Daniel's insistence that I go. How they'd got Charles up was beyond me, but I loved the picture.  
  
"Your babies, and their daddies, I thought it was perfect." Hawkeye explained after I'd hugged everyone.  
  
"Thankyou, you're all so wonderful! And you Sport," I kissed Ben's rosy face as he reached two dimpled arms up for my attention. "Princess, I love you too. Yes Angel-features, I love you just as much." April, although barely old enough to recognise my face, knew that I wasn't kissing her and let out a cry.  
  
"What about me? I got you a very special something." Hawkeye pulled a little box from somewhere and handed it to me. "I thought we'd start completely afresh, we'll keep the old ones as a reminder though." I opened the box, and stared in amazement at the gorgeous ring, breathless and lost for words.  
  
"Marry me again Anne?" Hawkeye said simply.  
  
"Yes!" I started to laugh and cry as he pushed the ring onto my finger and kissed me. We embraced, mindful of the kids, a whole new love, life and world opening before us.  
  
"Come on, come down to the clinic today, we'll bring the kids and tell the town the news!" Hawkeye got out of the bed. "I'm cooking breakfast!" He pulled on his robe and left.  
  
Daniel lay down on the bed next to me, putting an obviously tired head on the pillow, April lay on his chest and he stroked her back with a tender hand as he talked.  
  
"I'm really glad for you two, the minute I saw your beautiful face when you arrived, I knew I'd be seeing a lot more of it, and I guess I'm right. This time I get to kiss the bride!" Felicity slid off the bed, landing with a thump on the floor. Her diaper-clad rear didn't feel a thing and she toddled to the door, hollering for Dada to let her out.  
  
Dada obliged and Daniel and I talked for a little longer, keeping an eye on Ben who was happily playing with my slippers. We got up for breakfast and once everyone was changed, dressed and had plenty of supplies, bottles, clothes, toys, diapers, blankets, for the day, the six of us walked to the clinic and opened up.  
  
"Annabelle, how good to se you!" It was Mrs Robinson, a sweet lady, who was a WWI widow, her brother was killed in the blitz in WW2, and both of her sons, one of her daughters and her son-in-law had died in Korea. Her daughter, was a nurse at a M*A*S*H, and in similar circumstances to I was taken POW, raped, tortured and rescued, but died because of the massive trauma to her body.  
  
"It's lovely to see you too Juliet." I was one of the few people allowed to use her Christian name.  
  
"These must be your babies, why how they've grown!" She admired the twins who were playing on the floor, while I gave April a bottle.  
  
"Yes, I can hardly believe it myself! Juliet, I believe that Dr Pierce Senior will see you now." She allowed Daniel to help her into the office.  
  
The whole town knew Hawkeye and I were engaged by lunchtime. It was a small town and word travelled fast, but someone also put in it the evening edition of the Crabapple Cove Courier, so the news spread extremely quickly.  
  
"You know what I want this time?" Hawkeye asked. We'd taken a walk down the back on the beach, leaving Daniel with the kids. It had been a couple of weeks since Hawkeye'd proposed to me, but we hadn't actually started to plan the wedding.  
  
"What Ben darling?" I asked, wrapping a towel around myself. We'd been for an evening swim and I was starting to feel a little cold.  
  
"I want a proper, white, Methodist wedding." I made a rather surprised and disbelieving noise, so he continued. "Dad's a Methodist, and I was until Korea, so, I think he'd really like it if we had a 'proper' wedding in his eyes."  
  
"Of course, besides, we had a Catholic priest marry us last time." I smiled, remembering the hasty wedding planned in two days before I was transferred out of camp.  
  
"Do you think we can have it the Saturday after next?" Hawkeye asked with a sudden grin.  
  
"That's August 1st. It's awfully short notice darling." I protested mildly, even though I was wholly in agreement.  
  
"The whole town knows, and your family knows, you tell them the date, and they can show up whenever, as will my family." Hawkeye said, with a grin, his arm around my shoulder.  
  
"What the hell, we did it in two days in Korea, with very little contact with the real world, we can do it in two weeks, here!" I said. Hawkeye picked me up, and swung me around. I shrieked and threw back my head, enjoying the spinning, flying feeling, made all the more enjoyable by the loved feeling that I had too.  
  
We went back up to the house, and the next day, began planning the wedding. I was on top of the world, and life was great. 


	12. August to September 1955: The Big Day an...

August - September 1955  
  
"You're getting married tomorrow, and you have no flowers?" Margaret shouted. Hawkeye and I were going to be married in roughly 24hours and though we had a church, a dress, a bride, a groom, guests and rings, basically the basics for a wedding, the little things like flowers, had all slipped our minds.  
  
"Don't worry, we'll call the florist in Portland, they can manage something." Daniel picked up the phone. He talked for a while, and then after a few minutes negotiation reported back. "They can manage pink roses for the bride, and wrist or buttonhole corsages for the rest of the wedding party. I told them maid of honour, two bridesmaids, a flower girl, and mother-of-bride, plus groom, best man, father-of-bride, and myself. It'll be here 8am tomorrow morning."  
  
"See? Margaret, Daniel has it all under control, isn't that right? Aunty Margaret was worrying about nothing, Grandpa knows what he's doing." I told Felicity who'd toddled over.  
  
"Silly!" She giggled, loosing her balance and falling onto a well-padded behind. I picked her up and kissed her chubby neck. She shrieked with laughter and hugged me.  
  
"Besides, Margaret, all we want is a small wedding." I shifted back into Hawkeye's arms, our daughter cuddled into mine.  
  
"But you're still going to do things well!" She said firmly, picking up Ben who'd decided his sister wasn't the only gorgeous, cuddly infant in town.  
  
"Yes Mum!" I laughed. She was so determined for us to have a fancy wedding. All we wanted was a church, vows, and rings. We weren't having a reception, but to placate her I'd gotten Lily and Alice as bridesmaids and Grace as a flower girl when all I had wanted was Margaret as maid of honour.  
  
"Hey, hey! It's everyone's favourite best man here!" Trapper knocked on the door. He had driven up from Boston to be the best man.  
  
"Come on in Trap! Great to see you again! Princess this is your Uncle Trapper." Felicity reached wide trusting arms to the man and he took her.  
  
"Sit down, like a drink?" I chased my beagles out of the room. "Cap, Glory, shoo, go play out back!"  
  
"No thanks, how's the wedding going?" Trapper sat in an armchair that they'd just vacated.  
  
"Fine, few things to do, but all systems go." I replied.  
  
"Everything's a mess! There's no flowers, and the dresses are still in Portland!" Margaret cried.  
  
"In 24 hours, I'm going to be married, life's perfect!" Hawkeye replied.  
  
"I see the bride and the groom are the least worried." Trapper laughed.  
  
"Ah, we've been there, done that, and with each other, no less!" I grinned. April started to cry and I ran to get her. The instability and constant change in her early life whilst I was unconscious had caused her to cling to a constant, me and if we were apart for more than a few minutes, she'd cry and scream until I was holding her.  
  
"Hello Angel-features, feeling better after that sleep huh?" Hawkeye held his arms out for the baby and I handed her over. She looked unhappy, but settled when she realised I was barely a foot away.  
  
"So what's left to do? Can I be of any help?" Trapper asked.  
  
"Well, Daniel's got to go pick up the dresses and rings from Portland, but that's all, there's nothing else to do." I said, shaking my head.  
  
"Good, because I wanted to take the groom out for a few drinks tonight." Trapper said.  
  
"Just don't get plastered!" Margaret warned. I laughed so hard, I nearly wet myself and fell off the arm of the chair that I had propped on.  
  
"She'll put you in a full-body cast if you do!" I giggled, remembering about how I'd heard of the joke played on Margaret and Donald.  
  
"I should get him back for doing that to Donald." Margaret said thoughtfully. Daniel looked puzzled, so we explained it. He laughed heartily when told.  
  
"Come on, we'd better get lunch started, the twins won't wait much longer." I stood up and went into the kitchen. Margaret followed me and we threw together a meal and heated a bottle for April.  
  
"Going to have fun tonight girls?" Daniel asked as we prepared to head out the door. Margaret and I were having a last night out, Trapper and Hawkeye had left a few minutes earlier.  
  
"As much fun as we can have!" I replied. April was asleep in my room, even though she was a cat napper during the day, she had begun to sleep whole nights at six weeks old, and I knew that she'd be alright in Daniel's care.  
  
"Be back before 12, and you can both sleep in my room. I'll take yours Anne so I'm near April." I left a few instructions for the twins' care, kissed them goodbye and left.  
  
"Shh!" Margaret and I burst into helpless giggles as I fumbled with the key. The door was unlocked anyway and we hysterically stumbled into the house. We'd gone out for dinner, and then gone to a late movie. It was just after 1, and we were still worked up.  
  
"Girls, shut up and go to bed." Daniel's voice called from Hawkeye's and my room. We staggered laughing into his room, and tried to change out of our clothes. We laughed for another few minutes, until a tiny sneeze silenced us. Aware now that the twins were asleep in the same room, we fell quiet and collapsed in an exhausted heap.  
  
"Rise and shine, April needs a bottle, and she's nearly screamed herself blue . . . oh and you're getting married in four hours!" Daniel knocked on the door. Margaret and I, somewhat worse for wear dragged ourselves out of bed.  
  
"Hold on Angel-features I'm . . . AH!" I crossed the living room to the kitchen but tripped over a body, landing heavily on top of them. Apparently Hawkeye and Trapper had missed the sofa bed they were supposed to sleep on, hitting the floor instead.  
  
"I forgot exactly how much you weighed!" Trapper groaned, pushing me up. Daniel came over and pulled me to my feet. Margaret had made it out alive and was trying to settle a writhing baby.  
  
"April my Angel, come to mummy, it's alright." I took her as soon as I was stable. She continued with her ear-shattering yells for the next five minutes while I heated her bottle.  
  
"Thank goodness for that." April had settled in my lap and was peacefully sucking the bottle. Everyone's head was still ringing from her yells and she'd woken the twins who were both grumpy and sleepy.  
  
"That is why we're not going on a honeymoon." Hawkeye said. "We couldn't take her, and Annie can't leave her."  
  
"Baba cry, bad!" Ben said pouting. Felicity added her two cents, sulkily cuddling into Daniel.  
  
"April cries because she is hungry, it's okay, and where did he learn bad?" I said. I received shrugs and negative answers all around. After that we took turns of showering and having breakfast.  
  
"It's half past seven now, and the wedding is at ten." Margaret said. "It's about time we got moving." We heeded her advice and began to get ready. I put the twins in their playpen in the living room, and put April in her pram so I could take her with me wherever I was.  
  
"Annie, it's me, I've brought the girls and Patrick to get dressed." Mum called. I dashed through the house in my slip, and answered the door. It was 8, and the flowers had just arrived, so I was taking care of them in the kitchen.  
  
"Hi, come on in, girls are in Daniel's room, boys are in Hawkeye's and my room, hello Gracey." I took my sister from Mum's arms. "I've got the bathroom to myself, and Margaret will help you get ready. I've got a few things to do before I put on the dress. Mum, Jemma and Nat can go in the playpen with the twins." Patrick went to where the men were getting ready, while Mum and my sisters headed into the girls' room, leaving my now 3yo twin siblings in the playpen with my 15mo babies.  
  
"Well, Gracey it's just you and me for a bit." I addressed my little sister. Her light brown hair was still damp from a bath. "You want to help me get April all dressed up?" I was getting my children looking neat first so I wouldn't be wrestling with diapers in my wedding gown.  
  
"Help Annie with baby?" Grace echoed, her little green eyes shining.  
  
"Yep, precisely, but I have to put you down. Let's go baby." I put Grace down and pushed April's pram into the bathroom, where I bathed, changed, and dressed her in a yellow dress. Yellows and other soft pastels suited her light brown hair, blue eyes and fair skin, so yellow featured largely in her wardrobe, a lot of which I'd sewn myself. Grace was a big help, handing me things and singing to April when she got cranky.  
  
After that I bathed and dressed the twins. I put Felicity in a pink dress, and Ben in gorgeous blue overalls. Having the same colouring as their parents due to incredibly lucky genetics, whatever Hawkeye or I suited, Ben or Felicity suited respectively.  
  
It was 9am, and everyone except for myself was completely ready to go. Daniel, Hawkeye, Trapper and Patrick were dressed in their suits, I hadn't seen Hawkeye, nor had he seen me, but I had the feeling it was no ordinary suit he was wearing. Margaret, Lily, Grace and Alice were wearing pale pink dresses I'd chosen in Portland, and Mum was dressed too, but I was still flitting around in my slip.  
  
"Annie, sit still, we're due at the church in ten minutes, let me finish your face." Margaret applied a final touch of pink to my cheeks.  
  
"Margaret, I'm so nervous, I can't do this." I said, playing with my string of pearls.  
  
"Nonsense Anne! It's going to be a lovely day, you and Hawkeye are made for each other, it's going to be fine."  
  
"What if, it doesn't work? There are three beautiful children who are going to be affected by this."  
  
"Annie Dawson, you're 2 minutes away from leaving for church and you're changing your mind about marrying, it's simple cold feet sweetheart, wait here a second, I've got someone who I think you should talk to." Margaret left the room, and I heard her voice outside.  
  
"Trapper, can you talk to Annie, and get her into her dress? She's being all skittish, cold feet and she's yet to put on her gown!" Trapper knocked and came in.  
  
"Hey, you're not even dressed and you look wonderful. There's a very lucky man today." Trapper smiled.  
  
"Trapper, I don't think there will be a lucky man, I can't go through with it. I have three babies depending on me, and if I get screwed up because of this, my babies are going to suffer, I can't let that happen to my babies. There's more than just Hawkeye's and my hearts in this, there are three little people who will be changed by what I do."  
  
"Oh, Annie, the best thing you can do for your babies is give them the most secure future and that secure future is with their daddy, who loves them so much, he'd be ready to die for them. And if you're worried because April isn't Hawkeye's you don't need to be, I've seen him with her for five short minutes, and he loves her as much as either of the twins."  
  
"Oh Trapper." I threw myself at him, hugging him tightly. "Thankyou, I needed to hear that!"  
  
"Hang in there sis. Now let's get you dressed!" He took the dress off its hanger. It was the same dress I had donned in Korea to marry Hawkeye in, and the same one in which Margaret had been wed. Although old, it was pretty and had many fond, and not-so-fond memories.  
  
"Put it on the floor in a puddle, I'll step into it. Have Mum and the girls left for church yet?"  
  
"Yes, you, Daniel, Hawkeye Margaret and myself have two minutes to leave, and our car's already here. Oh dear." Trapper had pulled the dress up, but it was tight and the lacing at the back was resisting.  
  
"Don't worry, the Annie who wore this before hadn't given birth to three children and breastfed I'll suck it in." I breathed in and he did the dress up. It was tight, accentuating my new hips and boobs, a result of childbearing.  
  
"I'll take over, your car's waiting Trapper, go." Margaret came back in, finishing arranging the dress, putting my shoes on and lastly, fixing the veil. Trapper had gone and the car carrying Margaret and myself waited at the front of our house. A last minute collection of my three children and we raced outside, leaving for the church.  
  
"Oh, this it!" I was chewing on my fingernails, everyone had been seated in the church and it was all ready to go. The twins were settled with my other siblings who had all come to watch. April was up the front of the church with Hawkeye and Daniel, so that as soon as I was wed, I could take her again.  
  
"Don't!" Margaret slapped my hand and put my glove back on. "Hawkeye asked me to give you this." She handed me a small, scribbled note.  
  
"See you at the altar, Ben." I read aloud. I tucked the paper in my glove and took a deep breath. Before I knew it, I was walking down the aisle on Patrick's arm. The nerves got worse, and I made myself walk, I reached the altar but couldn't think twice, because Hawkeye took my elbow. He gave me a smile and I turned to face the priest.  
  
"Now turn to face each other." We turned, our hands clasped tightly in one large fist. We said the 'I do's' and got to the rings. We remembered the vows we'd said in Korea, and planned to alter them slightly.  
  
"As you place the ring on Anne's third finger, say the vows that you have written. Hawkeye took the ring from Trapper with a handshake.  
  
"Annie, I was a fool to let you go, and through everything, the ups, the downs, the ins, and the outs, I learned one thing. That our love is truly never ending, like a circle and with this ring as a symbol of our never ending love, I thee wed." I took the ring from Margaret when it was my turn and slid the gold band onto Hawkeye's slim hand.  
  
"Ben dear, I was incredibly stupid to have left you. But as I remember that this wedding was planned in a fortnight I realise that everything in our lives has been spontaneous, from the first time I married you, to the second time you proposed, but I also know, that our love is not a fleeting moment and with the ring as the object to make time stand still, I thee wed."  
  
"By the power vested in me by the State of Maine (at this point I'm sure Hawkeye muttered 'inebriation' and I bit my tongue to avoid laughing at a memory involving Charles and a nurse named Donna) I now pronounce you man and wife, you may kiss the bride!" Hawkeye didn't hesitate. For the second time we sealed our vows with a kiss.  
  
"Ladies and gentlemen, may I present to you Dr and Mrs Benjamin Franklin Pierce!" We walked out of the church and stood for a few photos. I threw the bouquet to a surprised Margaret. By that stage April was beginning to fuss and I took her up to avoid a big crying spell.  
  
As it was a very small church, we'd only been able to invite our families, and so half the town had gathered outside to congratulate us. There were many secretive smiles shared and when Hawkeye and I finally began to head back to Daniel's house, I was more than a little suspicious.  
  
"Surprise!" I nearly dropped April. BJ, Colonel Potter, Radar, Charles, Klinger, Father Mulcahy, and Sidney (plus families) were in the backyard.  
  
"You lying, cheating, conniving, low-down, dishonest, scheming, sneaky, loveable angel! I thought we weren't having a reunion!" I berated my husband as much as I possibly could in between kissing him. More people from the wedding began showing up and we moved to the beach as it was a hot summer day.  
  
"Congratulations, I always knew you two were going to get hitched again." Klinger said.  
  
"Klinger, since when did you get back from Korea?" I asked.  
  
"We only just got back. Soon-Lee's family were all killed. However, we're pregnant and we want the baby to be an American citizen. And you can call me Max." I congratulated them both, smiling at the use of the word "we're" it showed that Klinger was very much in love with his pretty Korean wife.  
  
"I'm very sorry to hear about her family, but if you'll excuse me, April has someone very important to meet." I crossed the sand barefoot. I was still wearing my dress, but had removed the veil, train and my shoes.  
  
"Charlie, I've got a very important baby for you to meet. This is April Emma-Rose Winchester-Pierce." I displayed the three-month-old.  
  
"She's beautiful Annie, Mother, Honoria, come, you must meet the baby!" I introduced Diana, Nora and Charles Senior to their newest granddaughter and niece. They were very proud, and besotted, especially in the resemblance between Nora and April, but the minute I handed her over she set up such a yell you'd think she was being hurt.  
  
"I'll try again after lunch, she may have settled down." I apologised and walked over to Colonel Potter and Radar, where I met Edwina Kate O'Reilly, Radar and Monica's month-old daughter.  
  
The informal reception was wonderful, as it was also a reunion of sorts, and my family and the people of the Cove got to meet the people who had been so important to Hawkeye and I, and those very important people got to meet the people who'd raised Hawkeye and I.  
  
"Would you look at that?" Hawkeye had whisked me away and we were sitting on some rocks, kissing extremely passionately. Nearby a few other teens, Lily and Tom included, were similarly occupied, but it wasn't them Hawkeye was referring to.  
  
"They deserve love." I replied, snuggling against Hawkeye. Daniel and Mrs O were sitting down on some rocks lower down, his arm around her shoulders. Hawkeye agreed and kissed me again, making the most of April's nap.  
  
"Bye Annie, I must go," It was Mum, and after some lengthy goodbyes she, Patrick and my dear siblings left. The wedding reception turned into a 4077 private event, as the townspeople resumed their regular Saturday activities.  
  
"Here's to Hawkeye and Annie!" Our group of friends cheered and clapped, wishing us luck and love.  
  
"I was so surprised to see you all, but I'm so glad you came."  
  
"The biggest surprise is yet to come Annie." Daniel said. "I'm going west with the O'Reillys for a week, and I'm taking the twins, you guys are getting the holiday you deserve." I hugged him thankfully. It was getting on for dinnertime so we all began breaking up, people going back to hotels, or wherever they'd come from.  
  
The O'Reillys had dinner with us, and I packed for the twins. For two babies, it was amazing how much stuff they needed. Specific blankets, toys, clothes, all were as important as the other. I bid them a very tearful farewell, on the platform. It was only a week and I knew that the babies would be fine, but I was sure going to miss them. Hawkeye had the week off work, and if anyone needed a doctor, they'd have to go down to Portland.  
  
"He's going west with Mrs O, is it just me, or is love blossoming?" I murmured as I waved the train, headed for Ottumwa, Iowa goodbye.  
  
"I'm beginning to think that I'm going to be having a little brother pretty soon." Hawkeye said. We laughed and walked back to the house. It was darkened and still had traces of wedding preparations, lists, a few flower petals, hairpins, and various other odds and sods scattered throughout.  
  
The first things we did as soon as we got in, was move April into the other room, and get her settled for the night. She had finally settled down enough to allow her very proud biological father to hold her, but not for very long, and had refused downright to have Nora, Diana or Charles senior hold her. They were in love with the three-month-old, and thought that she was very beautiful.  
  
"Goodnight Angel-features, now you just sleep tight, mummy and Hawkeye have some very important business to take care of." We tiptoed from the room, the only noise being a little sigh as she settled into her bed.  
  
"Do you remember our other wedding night?" Hawkeye asked.  
  
"Yep, we went into my tent, and we squeezed on that little bunk, and we talked, but we never had sex because we wanted to be together for real, so it would be really special." I replied, smiling softly as we tiptoed into our room.  
  
"And it was, when we were finally together, wasn't it?"  
  
"You bet it was." He pulled me to him, kissing me deeply, and we fell onto our bed in a wave of intense passion.  
  
I opened one eye sleepily, my nose was buried in Hawkeye's navel. I opened the other eye and groaned. Unfortunately I was facing 'south' and an eyeful of Hawkeye was not what I needed. I sat up and shifted towards the other end of the bed.  
  
"What's the time?" Hawkeye moaned as I settled back down on my pillow. I checked my watch, the only thing that I was wearing.  
  
"About 4am, there's another two hours before April has us up at least." I replied, aware that Hawkeye was not really listening as he pressed tiny little light kisses on my shoulder. I took the hint and we made the most of our last peaceful time before April wanted me.  
  
We lived in the bed for the next week, only venturing out for April or to have something to eat. We knew most of the town had assumed we'd just basically be having non-stop sex, which we would've had I the stamina of a male Pierce, but we weren't, we were talking, chatting, laughing really getting to know each other emotionally as well as physically and it was a great week.  
  
"Hello, I'm back!" Daniel called. I woke up, Hawkeye was sleeping across the bed, using my hip as a pillow. In her playpen on the floor, April lay on her blanket, happily chewing a corner of it.  
  
"Where are you guys? I have two children who are dying to see their parents."  
  
"We're in our room, but give us a second, they don't want to see us like this!" I replied, poking Hawkeye. "Come on, get up, the kids are back." He stirred, and dragged himself up to my level.  
  
"Wow Annie babe, you were incredible." He kissed me, and I fought him off.  
  
"There's plenty of time to see exactly how incredible I am. Right now Dad's back and he's brought the kids." We found our robes and put them on before calling to Daniel that he could come in.  
  
"Babies! My precious ones, come here!" I picked them both up and hugged them tightly. "I missed you so much, did you have fun with Grandpa and Mrs O?"  
  
"Hoss!" Ben cried wiggling as I sat down on the bed.  
  
"Coo!" Felicity elaborated, crawling over to her daddy.  
  
"Horse, and cow, they loved the farm, called every dog they saw Cap, but thought it was incredible." Daniel said.  
  
"Did you have fun dad?" Hawkeye asked, blowing a raspberry on Felicity's tummy. She giggled with pleasure.  
  
"Not as much fun as you've had." He said with a smile, sitting on the bed and gesturing to a dark purple mark on my shoulder. I blushed and tried to hide the love-bite.  
  
"Okay, we had a great week ourselves." I came clean with him. I lay back in the V between Hawkeye's legs, my head resting on his stomach. "So, did you have fun?"  
  
"Yes, I needed the holiday more than I thought." Daniel said. I gave a laugh, like me, Daniel was very resistant to admitting when he needed a holiday or a break, and kept going no matter what.  
  
"Come on Anne my sweet, let's get up and see how much our babies have changed since our week in bed." Hawkeye pushed me off him and we got up and played with the kids for a few minutes. The train ride back had tired them though and they went to sleep very quickly, as did April and Daniel, leaving Hawkeye and I to have a last bit of fun.  
  
"Dad, can you hurry up? April is getting absolutely furious about her diaper!" I banged on the bathroom door. I'd begun calling Daniel Dad without even thinking about it, and he didn't seem to mind. He hurried out, and I quickly changed a very wet bottomed April.  
  
Things were getting crowded in a two-bedroom, one bathroom, three adult, three baby house. We were beginning to grate on each other's nerves and occasionally we'd snap unreasonably.  
  
"Babe, I know how much you love this house, but I really think it's time we thought of moving somewhere bigger." Hawkeye said, rubbing my stomach in long slow strokes. We were sitting on the porch after a picnic in the ark with the kids, fall had come and it was now late September.  
  
"I was thinking the exact same thing especially since Daniel gave me some very interesting news this morning."  
  
"What? That he wants to move too, because he told me that days ago." Hawkeye brushed it off laughing.  
  
"No, a little more interesting than that. I'm having a baby." I said. "Early June we're thinking, it's very hard to tell as I've only had one period since I had April."  
  
"Congratulations Anne." He kissed me. He didn't say much but the tightly possessive grip on me and the shine in his eyes spoke of how happy he really was, and that was elated.  
  
"Mmm, you smell great." I sighed. He was a bit sweaty, and somewhat dirty after helping Ben with making mudpies. He had also smothered himself in that hideous cologne, and so I'd put some of my perfume on him to make him smell 'better'.  
  
"Not that I'm one to object my sexy little wife, but what?" He took a swig of beer before shifting to face me.  
  
"You smell of dirt, cologne and someone else's perfume, a bit of booze, not to mention there's lipstick on your collar, and after we cleaned up the floor when Captain threw up, you also smell of disinfectant, like a hospital. It's odd, but dirt, booze, hospital and perfume are the smells I think of with you. It's how you smelled on my first day, and bizarre though it is, it's comforting."  
  
"You know what you smell of? Babies, perfume, cologne, disinfectant, that amazing dinner you cooked and just a really sweet scent that is totally intoxicating, and very definitely arousing. I guess it's just your femininity." I gave a laugh at Hawkeye's definite lack of subtlety.  
  
"I can't believe it, we're going to have a baby - in wedlock - and we need to think about moving houses, and all you can think about is sex?" I laughed, shaking my head lovingly at him.  
  
"Annie, it's 8pm, we both need showers, the baby isn't coming for eight months and not one realty would be open now, I think I'm entitled to think about sex." Hawkeye kissed my earlobe.  
  
"Not now Hawkeye, let me have a shower first." Hawkeye ignored my protest and continued kissing my neck, knowing that I was very slowly melting.  
  
"Shower's free!" Daniel called. I fought Hawkeye off and ran into the house.  
  
"Thanks Dad, and if you see your son, throw a bucket of cold water on him." Daniel laughed and left me in the bathroom. I turned on the taps and stood under the hot water. It felt great, and I stretched, relaxing in the steam.  
  
"You nearly finished?" Hawkeye came into the bathroom, wearing his robe.  
  
"Soon." I called back rinsing the shampoo from my hair.  
  
"You're a long way from finished baby." Hawkeye laughed, taking off his robe and joining me in the hot, soapy world I had created.  
  
We went to bed but not to sleep after that, and when we finally went to sleep, I woke as I always had, in the early hours of the morning to watch Hawkeye sleep so peacefully, I found my mind wandering.  
  
Life was great. I had a loving husband, a loving father-in-law, three beautiful children, another one on the way, I was living in a beautiful town, I had great friends, my family was half an hour down the road, and I decided, as I watched the relaxed face resting on the pillow beside me, that I was truly on top of the world. 


	13. November 1955 January 1956: Movin'

November 1955 - January 1956  
  
"I love it Hawkeye, but can we really afford it?" I was lying on the living room floor, staring up at the ceiling. We'd had to put off moving for a little while as through most of October, Felicity, followed by BJ and April got a round of colds and stomach flu, which Hawkeye Daniel and I all picked up as well.  
  
"Sure we can, I love it too. We'll have to scrimp and pinch for a little bit baby, but it's perfect for raising a family." Hawkeye was rocking a now 6mo April to sleep, she was still a bit sick and was going to bed earlier.  
  
"We'll ring Ray then?"  
  
"You bet, now do you want to put Angel-features down, or shall I?" I got up, and took my heavy eyed daughter and put her in her bed. That day we'd heard that the elderly and now late Mrs Robinson's house was being sold, and we had fallen in love with it.  
  
"Ray, you've got yourself a customer, tomorrow at noon, see you then." Hawkeye had rung Ray to tell him we were buying the old Robinson place. Daniel would move with us, and though he had let us choose whatever we wanted, we knew Daniel would like it.  
  
Because it had initially been built to fit Mrs Robinson and her sister Lorraine Harford, also widowed in WW1 and left with four children, there were two master bedrooms, one upstairs, one downstairs, and they both had private bathrooms and studies, making it ideal for us. There were also four smaller bedrooms upstairs, and for us, this worked well as it meant all our children could have separate rooms, and that was what mattered.  
  
"Baby, we got ourselves a home!" Hawkeye bent down to talk to my still non- existent belly. We'd settled simply on calling this latest child 'Baby' as that was really what we'd planned, four children would keep us satisfied and I thought four children in three years was definitely enough.  
  
I put my hands down on Hawkeye's black head. Though he had been going definitely grey during Korea, the grey seemed to have lessened, and his ebony hair was thicker and darker than ever. He lay his head against my stomach, listening for any response from the baby.  
  
"Where's Dad, he'll want to know?" I asked, pulling Hawkeye to his feet and wrapping my arms around his waist. Hawkeye shrugged, Daniel had taken the dogs for a walk, and was not yet back.  
  
"He can wait, do you want some cocoa?" I went into the kitchen and started to heat some milk on the stove, I wanted some anyway, and though only 5pm the wind was cold so when Daniel returned, I knew he'd want some.  
  
"Thanks baby, we're getting a house, a proper, big house! I can't believe it, this is the life we wanted!" Hawkeye took the cup of warm cocoa from me. BJ tried to climb onto his lap, and Hawkeye gave him a helping hand.  
  
"Hey sport, oh you want some of daddy's cocoa hmm? Let's see, careful, it's very hot . . ."  
  
"Hawkeye! That's our cocoa, it'll be far too strong, let him have this." I handed Hawkeye a plastic cup with weaker, milkier cocoa. With some help, the 18mo boy drank a little.  
  
"Me too!" Felicity called, looking up from her blocks. I sat her in a highchair and gave her a cup with a lid and a cookie. They hadn't had dinner yet, but it didn't matter, both also still feeling blocked up with head colds, I was just glad to see them eat. I settled BJ similarly with a cookie and Hawkeye and I sat down to a good hot, drink.  
  
"There you are Mr and Mrs Pierce, you're now the owners." We'd signed the papers the next day and made a down payment, and the old Robinson place would soon be the Pierce place.  
  
"When we go home tonight, we're going to open a bottle of something to celebrate! Now we'd better go, Dad can't mind the kids at the clinic all day. Thankyou Ray, we'd better hurry." Hawkeye and I left the office, Hawkeye running down the steps ahead of me. When he was at the bottom, he opened his arms.  
  
"We did it! Yahoo!" I threw myself at him, and we stood there in the street, Hawkeye holding me under my rear, while my legs were wrapped around his waist. People walked around us, giving us filthy looks.  
  
"I think it's time we went back and got the kids." Hawkeye suggested, kissing me.  
  
"I think you're right." I said. Hawkeye put me down. We went back into the Cove and gave Daniel the good news. He was suitably thrilled as sleeping in the same room as two sick toddlers was beginning to get to him.  
  
The next two weeks was a madness of sorting and packing, as we wanted to be in our big house by Christmas and it wasn't until November 20 that we could even consider going to the other house due to deceased estate red tape.  
  
"You have more junk than the 4077!" Margaret said. She had come up to help us pack everything.  
  
"Well, there weren't three children at the 4077th!" I replied with a laugh, throwing a series of teddy bears into a box across the room. At birth, my twins had received no less than 52 teddies and other soft toys between them, this number continued to grow. April had received an equally large amount, and continued to do so from her biological father who was besotted by her, and sent up new toys, clothes and other frills and fancies every week. He visited once a month too, and continued to see that his offspring, and the only Winchester heir was happy and healthy.  
  
"I'm so glad there's a playroom!" Hawkeye said. Part of the second floor had a large, bright room that had served as a playroom. It would be the same for us, a relaxed room where the kids could play, and make as much noise as they liked. However, Hawkeye was referring to the fact that many of these bears that lived in the basement would be stored in toy boxes or cupboards here as family playthings rather than being sorted individually.  
  
"Mama! Pa nose!" Felicity hurtled into the room, shrieking with joy. I opened my arms and she threw herself at me. I looked over the messy blonde curls at Daniel.  
  
"I kissed her nose when she asked me to." Daniel explained.  
  
"Mama, nose!" Felicity cried, "Kiss!" I obliged, kissing the little turned- up button nose she had.  
  
"My princess, you learnt kiss!" I blew a raspberry into the sweet-smelling neck. "What a clever girl! Wow, we'll have to add this word to the baby book!"  
  
"When they're unpacked in the new house Annie, I've already added it to my list." The baby books had been packed away already, but Daniel was keeping a list of new words in my babies' rapidly growing vocabulary. "Oh and if you think that's clever, you should hear Ben's newest word." Daniel was doing lots of babysitting while I packed, and I wasn't there to hear every new word as it came. April began to cry and Margaret went to retrieve her from her pram, handing her hastily over to me.  
  
"Mama! Ape cry!" Ben told me seriously.  
  
"Is this April? Say that again precious!" Until recently April had been called little but Baba.  
  
"Ape cry, it bad!" No longer did he mean April was bad to cry, but that it meant something was bad if April cried.  
  
"That's right Sport, she cries because her diaper is extremely heavy, and I would be inclined to say, going off that glorious aroma, so is yours! Come on princess, it's time that Mummy changed your diaper." We were leaving potty training off until we were settled in the new house.  
  
"Oh Benny-boy what have you been eating?" I screwed up my face dramatically for his benefit.  
  
"Mama silly!" He laughed.  
  
"No Ben, Mama funny." I corrected. I didn't want him getting the idea silly was a good word.  
  
"Fun!" Felicity laughed, playing with an empty shampoo bottle on the floor.  
  
"Smart cookie, come on, let's get you fixed and we'll have some juice and fruit for a snack." I put Ben down and started in on Felicity.  
  
"Annie you should be doing that!" Daniel scolded as I lifted a pretty heavy box.  
  
"Rubbish, I'm fit as a fiddle, and I've carried things that Hawkeye couldn't lift before, and I was pregnant!" I put it in the back of the truck, it was December 2nd, moving day and all - touch wood - seemed to be going well.  
  
"Is that the last?" The truck driver asked.  
  
"Yes, that's all. Everything else is in the second truck." I replied.  
  
"Well, do you want to climb aboard and show me the way?" He opened the passenger side door.  
  
"Sure, Hawkeye, going, I'll be back soon!" Hawkeye and Daniel were getting the few bits of furniture we had into the other truck with the help of the moving guys.  
  
"Mmm!" He grunted lugging something heavy. I swung up into the truck without a worry, the other moving guy got in and we went, me giving directions to the new house.  
  
"Where are my medical things?" Daniel called. He didn't need them, but we were trying to find the important things immediately. We'd gotten everything to the new house, and we were trying to unpack a few things and get settled before Mum returned the kids, whom she had been looking after all day.  
  
"In a box labelled kitchen utensils!" Hawkeye shouted. He was upstairs, setting up the babies' cribs in their rooms, they'd be tired when Mum arrived at 8pm, and all they'd want is a snack and bed.  
  
"Dad, they're in your office already," I replied, laughing so hard I had to put down the box I was carrying in case I dropped it. I remembered how we mislabelled everything when we'd bug out, solely to upset Frank.  
  
"Found them thanks beautiful!" Daniel called back. I carried a box of Hawkeye's and my stuff upstairs to our room. It was big, and the small bed looked out of place, something we planned to fix in the New Year. There was a wardrobe that had been built in and was big enough to walk into, and the clothes Hawkeye and I had barely filled it, even though I had been given most of Katharine's clothing.  
  
Some days later, I unpacked a box of junk, and headed for another one. It had all Hawkeye's fatigues and army collections in it, I guessed it hadn't seen light since Hawkeye had returned. I smiled, as much as Hawkeye had hated his time in Korea, it showed that it was also incredibly special to him.  
  
Rummaging further I found letters he'd written to his dad, focusing first on Margaret and how he'd been attracted to her (I'd had suspicions), and then about a pretty new nurse who Trapper had won over on the first day. The letters began to tell of how besotted he was by the blonde beauty who wouldn't sleep with him and was teaching him a lesson on commitment and patience. Finally there was news that he had wed the nurse, and they'd finally been together, he'd seen then that sex was something a lot more special than the way he'd treated it.  
  
"You need help Anne?" It was Daniel, he'd come in to see me sitting on the sofa in the study Hawkeye and I shared. I was riffling through the letters, a slightly dazed expression on my face.  
  
"I'm okay, I just had no idea that Hawkeye felt this way." I'd found a letter that Hawkeye had written after he'd heard of the little encounter BJ and I nearly had in the Swamp. It sounded like I'd half killed him.  
  
"His letters, you mean a lot to him, he never reveals it all." Daniel sat down beside me, putting an arm over my shoulder. Outside we could hear joyful yells as Hawkeye played with the twins.  
  
"I mean, I knew he loved me, but this is incredible." I smiled, leaning on the older man's shoulder.  
  
"But don't let him know you found them, believe me, he's a very private person, he'll let you see them, just make sure he's ready. Okay?" I agreed, and put the box in the cupboard for later.  
  
"It's great Beej, we're going to get a new bed after Christmas, that other one is just about worn out, I've had it since I was 16." I presume BJ made a suggestive joke as Hawkeye chuckled, holding the receiver tightly.  
  
"Look, Annie wants to talk to you, and you're paying so I'd better let her say hi." Hawkeye handed the phone over. I shifted April to my other hip, and tucked the phone under my ear.  
  
"Hi Beej, how are you?"  
  
"Fabulous! Did Hawkeye tell you the news?" BJ's voice had a very certain pitch, it was the tone he used when he was talking about his daughters and I knew at once it was good.  
  
"Amy's walking?" I queried with a laugh. My 14mo namesake was yet to take her first unaided steps.  
  
"No, not yet, but it's even better than that! June 19, Peggy and I are having another baby!"  
  
"June 19, but that's ten days after I'm due!" I echoed.  
  
"You're due? Anne-girl, is there something Hawkeye failed to tell me?"  
  
"I'm going to be a Mummy again!" I told him. "I wanted to tell you myself, so Hawkeye left it out. I guess that means no summer trip this year." We were planning to have a private visit before the reunion in July, but with nine-month pregnancies things would be hard.  
  
"We'll work it out, congratulations, listen, I'd better go, we'll have a huge phone bill otherwise."  
  
"Okay take care Beej, love you."  
  
"You too girl, be good." We hung up. I busied myself with dinner, revelling in the space of the big kitchen.  
  
"Annie, are you sure you should be doing this?" Daniel asked, coming home from work. I was up a ladder in the kitchen, painting the walls a pale cream.  
  
"I'm fine." I insisted.  
  
"Annie! Come on down, you're 3 months pregnant for god sakes!" Hawkeye came into the kitchen.  
  
"Hawkeye, I'm fine." I protested, but came down as I'd finished anyway. There was paint in my hair.  
  
"Listen, sweetheart. This weekend I'm going to do nothing but fix up the house so you don't overwork yourself. And you know something else? Dad is taking you into Portland to look at dining room furniture, aren't you Dad?" Hawkeye said, taking me into his arms and kissing me.  
  
"Oh, Hawkeye. I'm fine." I touched his cheek, leaving a pale cream smudge, settling in his 5o'clock shadow.  
  
"Listen, you're busting that cute butt to make this house a home, and you need a break! So, come upstairs with me, and we'll get in a nice hot bath, and later on, we'll make the most of the fact," He began punctuating his words with kisses. "That you are the most incredibly gorgeous woman I have ever had the pleasure of laying eyes on."  
  
"As tempting as that sounds, it is 5.30pm, Cathie Harrison is coming around for dinner and in roughly five minutes April will begin demanding a bottle." She was happily trying to crawl in the playpen on the kitchen floor.  
  
"Spoilsport!" Hawkeye pouted, releasing me. I went and took of the paint spotted clothes and as I predicted, April wanted a bottle. She gripped it with her hands and seemed content to sit in her highchair while I began cooking.  
  
"Come on in, it's open!" Cathie, her arms full with my twins came in. "Hello babies, did you have fun with Cathie?" She'd been minding them while I painted the kitchen.  
  
"Mummy, yes!" Their little vocabularies were getting ever bigger, and I was no longer 'mama' but 'Mummy' and it tugged on my heartstrings to hear the tiny voices stumbling on the big words.  
  
"Sit down Cathie, can I get you a drink, we'll have dinner as soon as Hawkeye gets out of his work shirt!" I said pointedly. "There is no way he is eating that casserole when he is wearing white!"  
  
"Slave driver." Hawkeye grumbled going upstairs to change his shirt. We sat down to dinner when he returned.  
  
"Look at you baby, you're there, yes you are!" Hawkeye was crooning on Christmas Eve to my belly. We were lying in front of the fireplace after a big Christmas party. I was showing pretty reasonably now.  
  
"Aren't the twins going to love Christmas?" I smiled. We had a big tree set up in the corner, and they'd had a lot of fun helping - though it could have been considered hindering - us in decorating it.  
  
"Aren't we going to love Christmas?" Hawkeye said. "We're together, for real." He snuggled against me.  
  
"Yeah, well we were married for one of the Christmases I spent in Korea."  
  
"And we spent it in the OR." Hawkeye replied. "I remember that."  
  
"How can you handle working in the hospital?" Hawkeye worked 2 nights on emergency in Portland General. I didn't mean the hours, I meant the fact that it reminded us both of horrible OR sessions in Korea.  
  
"Coming home to you. Hey my angel, I have a question for you."  
  
"Ask away my love." I rolled onto my side so I faced him.  
  
"I'm not trying to be nosey, or trying to come across as though it was wrong, but you made me wait until we were married before we went that last step, yet with Charles you didn't, you don't have to answer, but why?"  
  
"Well, I didn't have anything left to loose as such, and I just. . . I guess I'm more relaxed about it after everything I've been through." I shrugged.  
  
"You don't regret it do you? I mean losing your virginity?"  
  
"What can I say? Of all the things I've ever lost, my mind's the only one I miss!"  
  
"Nice answer!" Hawkeye chuckled. "And I know you lost your mind, remember when the baby was left with us?"  
  
"Oh, that." I had been so furious, Colonel Potter had sent me to stay at the orphanage for a harsh reality check. It had helped, and I was reminded that there were some causes and people I just couldn't help.  
  
"I can't believe our guys wouldn't accept her! It was horrible leaving her at the monastery. It's the only time I've ever seen Charles cry."  
  
"I couldn't believe it." The thought of the sweet chubby baby still brought tears to my eyes. "Oh, and Charles has cried, he cried when I left not much, but there were a few tears on both sides. I still can't believe that we'd be so unfair about a baby, so much for everyone is created equal."  
  
"War is hell my angel, things happen that shouldn't to a lot of innocent people." Hawkeye shifted closer to me. We never got as far as climbing the stairs to bed that night, we slept in front of the fire.  
  
Christmas was lovely, the twins enjoyed ripping coloured paper off presents to find pretty things inside and displaying them to doting aunts and uncles, my whole family was in for the day. April preferred the paper, not understanding the object of opening presents, and was especially taken by the glossy silver containing some very beautiful books from her daddy.  
  
I cooked a massive dinner, with Mum and Daniel's assistance. I tried to stop Daniel from helping as he always worked too hard, but he declared that he'd been managing too well for too long to have someone start looking after him now.  
  
By the end of January, we'd bought new furniture for most of the house, we had a new bed, and new sofas and we'd redecorated every room with the exception of the ones that didn't need it. The old chairs were moved into the playroom so the kids would have somewhere comfortable to relax. Everything was just so good, we weren't overcrowded, we could seek either company or solace when we wanted it, and we loved it.  
  
I was in the fifth month of a very healthy pregnancy with Baby, and although I was a little worried about April feeling displaced, I was looking forward to the arrival of what we hoped was a boy to even the scores up, in June.  
  
The twins grew more and more every day, as they approached their 2nd birthdays. Felicity looked more and more like I did, and Ben looked exactly like his daddy and grandfather. They could both run around alone now, and spoke reasonably clearly. They were beautiful little children, and everyone in the Cove loved to mind them for an hour just so they could play with them.  
  
April, now getting on for nine months old was crawling everywhere, even managing the stairs. Her light brown hair and shiny blue eyes looked like that of her Aunt Honoria, and the strange way in which she babbled had us wondering if she picked up Nora's unusual, albeit sweet stutter. We didn't mind if my Angel-features was going to talk oddly though, all we cared was that she was a happy and healthy baby.  
  
"You know sweetheart?" I asked as Hawkeye and I curled on the porch swing, watching the snow fall outside. "I made the worst choice . . ."  
  
"BJ's on the other side of the country, how could you do anything like that again?" Hawkeye teased, kissing the side of my head. We rarely brought it up anymore, preferring to forgive and forget.  
  
"I made the worst choice when I divorced you, but I made the best choice when I married you again!"  
  
"I made the best choice when I asked you to marry me and be the father of my children, my worst choice was doing it all in Korea." Hawkeye said.  
  
"But we're happy now right?" I asked.  
  
"Right." Hawkeye agreed kissing me tenderly. And we were happy, very happy. 


	14. March to May 1956

March - May 1956  
  
March 1, 3am I sat by the phone. I didn't mind if it was 3am though, I was awaiting the call that Max and Soon-Lee's baby had arrived in the world. Max had rung earlier and I'd had a big calming talk to Soon-Lee before they'd left for hospital.  
  
"Damn!" I swore as I pricked my finger and it throbbed painfully. I sucked it for a second while the pain subsided, then picked up Hawkeye's shirt and continued reattaching the button that Felicity had pulled off earlier in the day. Hawkeye was away at the night shift in the ER at Portland, but his shift finished at three, and I knew that he'd be home in about half an hour. The phone rang shrilly and I grabbed it before it woke up Daniel or my three kids.  
  
"Max, is he here?" We'd assumed the baby was a boy, as both Max and Soon- Lee wanted a boy as their firstborn.  
  
"Maxwell Quimby Klinger Junior is here! He was born about half an hour ago." Max's voice was obviously bursting with pride.  
  
"Congratulations! How's Soon-Lee?"  
  
"Tired, but otherwise fine. He's a big boy 8 pounds 10, and he has her nose!"  
  
"Thank heavens for that! I'd better go, Hawkeye just got off his shift and he rings occasionally, so I'd better keep the line free. Congratulations again, send my love to Soon-Lee." I barely had time to put the phone down and finish sewing before the phone rang, smiling I picked it up.  
  
"Yes Hawkeye?" He often rang to let me know he'd be home, or that he'd be late.  
  
"Annabelle, this is Nurse Charlotte O'Connor from the Surgical Ward in Portland General, are you able to come down here immediately?" I knew Charlotte pretty well, she was friends with Mimi.  
  
"Charlotte, I can be there in about twenty minutes why?" It took half an hour by day, but at night, with clear roads I could drive faster.  
  
"Your husband. . ."  
  
"What's wrong Char, is he okay?" I was worried immediately.  
  
"Annie, he's fine he's currently in theatre, and he's requesting that you assist him, we have had a patient come in who's been very badly injured, says you know how to handle these things."  
  
"Can I talk to him?" I had to find out what was going on.  
  
"Yes, but please hurry." I heard her calling Hawkeye.  
  
"Annie, can you come down? I really need your help, Margaret is on her way."  
  
"Sure Hawk, what am I dealing with?"  
  
"Bar brawl, someone pulled a gun, shot three times in the abdomen, also looks like there's a window worth of glass shards in there, we're trying to get him stable, I don't want to touch him until I have you two with me. Margaret will be here first and we'll start as soon as she's scrubbed, but she agrees to wait until you're in. "  
  
"Can he wait?" It sounded pretty serious.  
  
"Yeah but not too long, hurry okay?"  
  
"Sure!" I slammed the phone down and ran into Daniel's room. I woke him and let him know that I was going, then I jumped in his car and hurried to the hospital in record time, 17 minutes.  
  
"Right this way, you scrub here." I was shown into the room, where I threw scrubs over my clothes. It wasn't worth wrestling with my nearly seven- month bulge to take my clothes off. I scrubbed my hands and joined Hawkeye and Margaret in OR. Other nurses and doctors were observing the well-oiled pair as it became a trio.  
  
"Okay, I see where we're at." In half a second I'd joined them and we were working, nearly fighting to save his life. He had been very badly wounded, and his blood pressure was dangerously low.  
  
"Come on Hawk, I hate to tell you, but we've got to close that perforation really soon, I know there's more glass in there, but his pressure's been dropping almost steadily since we started and that bleeding isn't helping." I warned.  
  
"I know, we've got to do this, just be glad it's only his abdomen, if it were his chest cavity we'd be in trouble. And to think I left Korea to get away from this kind of shit." He muttered.  
  
"Calm down honey," I whispered, leaning against him momentarily in a comforting gesture. He relaxed slightly.  
  
"Doctor, his blood pressure's dropping further." Charlotte warned.  
  
"Shit! Come on, Margaret, hurry up! Suction, there's more glass in there and I need to see if it's in the liver." Hawkeye snapped, as Margaret tried to clear the blood.  
  
"I can't find a pulse!" Charlotte broke in as we began working frantically to find the jagged glass and stop the bleeding. However, the glass was causing the bleeding and we couldn't get the glass out.  
  
"Okay, I'll pump his chest, get me 10cc of adrenalin stat!" We began trying to resuscitate him.  
  
"Doctor, he's gone." Charlotte said. "You tried your hardest."  
  
"I did not hear you say that!" Hawkeye said determinedly, still thumping on his chest, trying to make him live.  
  
"Babe, he's gone, call it." I took Hawkeye's hands off the patient, holding them firmly, trying to steady him.  
  
"Dammit! I did not come back here to loose patients!" Hawkeye shouted.  
  
"Hawkeye, he's gone, you tried your hardest, now call it!" I said firmly, taking Hawkeye's gloved hands in my own, and looking him right in the eyes.  
  
"Time of death. . ." He took a deep breath and looked at the clock. "4.03am Thursday March 1 1956." He began to cry then, those hysteric, broken sobs that not one member of the 4077 could say they hadn't cried.  
  
"I know Ben dear, it hurts to loose, and I thought this kind of crap would go away when we were back at home. I was wrong, but it's not the end of the world. I still have you, and I still have Ben, Felicity and April, and I still have Baby, feel that." Baby had begun to kick at the right moment and I put Hawkeye's hand over the small fluttery movement. He caressed the tiny fragile life.  
  
"I still have you and the kids, and my Dad, but I hate it, this is supposed to be a war-free country."  
  
"Remember what Henry said, rule one, young men die. Rule two, doctors can't change rule one. Sweetheart rule one just happened, and you can't break rule two, it's just not possible."  
  
"Is there a rule three?" Hawkeye asked, his eyes, that were a sorrowful steel grey, desperate for some consolation, searching for an answer, a glimmer of hope in a dark place.  
  
"I don't know, I guess so, even with rule one, and rule two, people still feel love." I said.  
  
"Thank god for that." Hawkeye said, pulling down his mask. "And god, I love you." He kissed me firmly, almost fiercely, holding me tight. "Don't ever, ever go away from me, I need you too much."  
  
"Don't worry Ben darling, I love you so much, I'd never leave. Come on, let's get out of these vile gowns." We changed, and I drove us home. Hawkeye caught a bus to work and a cab back as he was often too tired to drive.  
  
Hawkeye was still hurting, but settled once we were at home. He was clinging to me tightly, refusing to let go, not wanting me out of his arms, and somehow even with Baby in the way, we made love. It lasted ages, and not only left me incredibly satisfied, but comforted Hawkeye and let him know how much I loved him, so he was able to sleep, his head lying just over my left breast, his lips resting lightly on my pale skin and his hand curled over my belly feeling Baby move, disturbed by the adrenaline flowing in my body.  
  
Hawkeye and I expecting neither the 3am surgery nor the half past four sex, slept late, Daniel sorting the kids' breakfast so Hawkeye and I could sleep.  
  
"Annie, Hawkeye, wake up, I've got to go to work, I can't mind the kids much longer." Daniel called, coming into our room. I opened my eyes, Hawkeye's head was still lying on my chest.  
  
"I'll get him Dad, thanks for letting us stay in." I yawned, before waking Hawkeye by sitting up gently. Slowly we stretched, yawned and got up, heading downstairs for breakfast.  
  
"What happened last night?" All I knew was that Annie was leaving in a hurry?" We filled Daniel in, the words coming slowly and painfully. It had really hurt to loose, as we'd come back from Korea hoping to deal with regular injuries, and normal operations.  
  
"I'm sorry kids, I really am." Daniel paused to hug us both tightly. We hugged him back and he left for work. Hawkeye started later when he had night shift.  
  
"Come on, mummy and daddy need a shower." I picked up April, and Hawkeye took a twin by each hand. We went upstairs into our room.  
  
"You want to go first?" I asked, Hawkeye nodded, taking off his robe and getting in the shower while I watched the kids, keeping them busy with songs and games. April was a bit too little to understand all of them yet, but did very well with the little songs she knew best.  
  
"Anne, I'm out but would you take a look at this?" He'd wrapped a towel around his waist and showed me his chest. Fine red scratches marred the smooth skin on his chest, close together in groups of five.  
  
I laughed, and ran my hand over them gently. He flinched and I dropped my head to kiss away the pain. "Sorry babe, I guess I should file my nails. Though you can't complain." I pulled down the neckline of my robe, and showed him the hickey that had turned into a bit more. Somehow in the middle of it, he'd been bumped or startled and had bitten, leaving such an impression, no one would have any trouble telling the culprit.  
  
"Love scars, fact of life, see this one here. . ." I stopped listening and headed for the shower while Hawkeye dressed and kept the kids busy.  
  
"We'll walk you to work." I decided, putting April in her pram. Now that the twins could walk short distances I could have one on each side, and let my belly rest on the handle of the pram and push it as I walked.  
  
"Say bye-bye to Hawkeye, Angel-face." April was nicknamed Angel-features at birth by Margaret, and it had stuck, but became Angel-face or Angel-eyes on occasions.  
  
Hawkeye lifted the 10mo girl from the pram and kissed her, telling her to be good. She babbled cheerfully at him, her blue eyes wide. Felicity and Ben were in back of the clinic being given a drink by the receptionist Rose, and were brought back out, munching a biscuit each.  
  
"You spoil them Rose!" I smiled. Her green eyes twinkled and she went back inside as Hawkeye said goodbye to his children.  
  
"Let's go!" I said goodbye to Hawkeye and began to walk back. I stopped at the park, so the twins could have a play and after a lot of fun, we began to walk back, tired and hungry.  
  
"Here we are babies!" I let the twins' hands go as we reached the front gate, I opened it and realised with a start that there was a car in the driveway.  
  
"Charlie! I completely forgot you were coming, I'm so sorry, have you been waiting long?" Charles normally drove up on Friday morning and stayed until Sunday, but he was coming a day earlier to spend more time with us.  
  
"Only five minutes, hello Angel-eyes, you look just like Honoria, yes, oh you're so big!" I rolled my eyes, Charles sounded positively pathetic when he talked to April, but it was good to hear him talk that way, it showed how much he loved her.  
  
"See if you can get her to walk, she's been taking a few tiny steps with my help." I suggested, setting the twins on the living room floor with a pile of blocks. "I'm going to get the kids some lunch." I explained, as Charles helped his daughter to her feet and encouraged her to take a little step or two.  
  
"She's doing brilliantly I notice." Charles smiled as I spooned some more mashed potato into April's mouth.  
  
"She is well, now that the teething terrors are over with." She'd been horribly cranky and dribbly for a few weeks, but the teeth had come and there were three little pearly teeth in her wide grin. "The only thing I'm worried about is April feeling put out when Baby arrives."  
  
"How did the twins manage?" Charles asked.  
  
"Well, they knew the bump meant Mama was having a Baba, and then there was that crash, and when Mama came home there was Baba too. They just didn't mind, but April is so attached to me, she can't have her nap unless I rock her and put her in her crib."  
  
"I'm sure you'll manage fine. You're a very capable woman Annie." Charles smiled.  
  
"Thanks! Oh, my beautiful Angel-features, you're a mess! We'll have a bottle and then a nap okay?" I wiped her face and then settled her with a bottle of milk. I always rocked my children to sleep before naptime, I enjoyed the special moment of peace, just my baby and me.  
  
"May I put her down?" Charles queried as the bottle was empty and her eyes had closed firmly.  
  
"She'll wake in about five minutes and yell the place down if you do I suspect, but you can try, she's pretty fond of you." April adored Charles and I handed the sleeping baby over.  
  
"Sleep well, be happy." I kissed her and began working on getting the twins settled. When Charles returned I was cosily tucked on the sofa with Ben and Felicity snuggled against me. We chatted for a little bit, and once the twins were asleep he helped me by carrying Ben upstairs and settling him in his crib.  
  
"It's amazing, April hasn't stirred." I peeked briefly into her room, she was lying on her back in her crib, sound asleep. Charles smiled proudly as I closed the door. "Come on let's get lunch."  
  
"It was great seeing you again," I waved as Charles drove away. Hawkeye and the twins were playing on the porch and April was in my arms.  
  
"Well Angel-eyes," April looked up at me, her long soft eyelashes rimming her clear blue eyes, "Next time you see your daddy, you're going to be a year old." Charles was postponing his next visit until April's 1st birthday. I smiled as my daughter leaned into my chest and carried her into the house.  
  
"Hawkeye, what are we going to do? Once Baby is four months old, he won't fit in the bassinette anymore, and the twins will be too small for proper beds, are we going to have to buy another crib?" He'd just put April down for a sleep. She'd become much more relaxed about who put her to bed, as long as they held her and rocked her.  
  
"We'll work things out, and I think by October, the twins will be okay if we get a bed with sides, it's miles away, what we have to worry about right now is Baby." It was the middle of May, and in two or so weeks, I was going to be a mother again.  
  
"I think we have to focus on BJ and Peggy too." I said. BJ and Peggy were coming in a week, and staying until the 12th, although we were both expecting around that time, we knew if either of us went into labour, we'd be just fine.  
  
"True, where's Dad?" Hawkeye said.  
  
"In the attic, I'm not sure why."  
  
"Hawkeye! Look what I found!" Hawkeye and I ran up into the unfinished attic. Daniel was holding a large, brightly coloured quilt, tears glistening in his eyes.  
  
"Mum's quilt!" Hawkeye took it and held it close as though it was something precious. "She made this when I was born. It was big so it would fit on any bed I ever had."  
  
"Wow." I was holding the edge of it, admiring Katharine's beautiful neat patchwork.  
  
"I slept with it ever since I was five, it's been through so much with me, I lost my virginity under this thing."  
  
"Yuk!" I let it go. Hawkeye laughed.  
  
"It's been washed, I put it away when I went to Korea, but can we put it on our bed now?"  
  
"Of course!" I agreed. It was beautiful, and it had so many memories I couldn't refuse.  
  
"Well, can you give me a hand here?" Daniel asked, Hawkeye set the blanket aside and we both started to help.  
  
"BJ! Peggy! Over here!" We met them at Portland airport. BJ had me in his arms and swinging me around despite my bulge. He kissed me, which was now our standard greeting, as he put me down.  
  
"You look great! Oh, and hasn't my baby grown? Amy-Jane, you're just beautiful, oh look at you!" The little blonde toddler chuckled as I cuddled her warmly. We laughed and headed out of the airport, it was going to be a great visit. 


	15. June 10 1956: Double Delivery

10 June - 1 August 1956  
  
I heard Hawkeye singing in the shower, I rolled over and checked my watch, it wasn't quite five, and I groaned and went back to sleep, trying to block out the sounds of Hawkeye's poor opera.  
  
It was two days before the Honnicuts were due to leave, and a day after I was due. BJ, Hawkeye and Daniel were going out early in the morning to go fishing, leaving Peggy and I with the kids.  
  
"Bye sexy, don't go making me a father while I'm out okay?" It was 5am, and the men were leaving. I woke again and kissed Hawkeye sleepily.  
  
"Take it easy today Annie, don't overwork yourself!" That was Daniel, and he bent to kiss my forehead.  
  
"Look after Peggy okay?" BJ said. I agreed with a yawn and went back to sleep for at least another hour. As April was now 13months and the twins almost 27months, I wasn't woken as early, my children sleeping from seven until seven every night. However old habits die hard, and I found myself beginning to wake at six, when I heard Peggy's feet padding down the hall.  
  
"Annie, Annie, wake up, I just had a contraction." Peggy's voice woke me as her hand shook me gently. I opened my eyes, awake immediately.  
  
"What, Peg are you sure?" I sat up sleepily.  
  
"Anne, I've done this as many times as you have, I'm sure." Peggy said.  
  
"Of course you are, I'm just tired. Let me have something to drink and we'll sort things out, I don't think we need to panic." I got out of bed, wrapping my arms around my belly. Baby had been pretty quiet the previous evening, making me think that I'd be giving birth very soon. And considering later events, it was possible that I was already in mild stages of early labour.  
  
I gave Peggy a check up, quite confident in what I was doing. Since I'd first become a nurse, I'd been present at many births and I knew my way around well. She was perfectly healthy and the baby was head first, even though nine days early.  
  
"Well, there's no need to worry, you're a way of giving birth, you'll be fine, I've been through this stuff since I was tiny, I delivered my sister when I was 14, so if you're going to have the baby before the boys get back, you're fine, relax and enjoy your last moments as a mother of two, because things are going to go insane very quickly. Trust me, I've got three!" Peggy managed a laugh, but I could tell she wanted BJ.  
  
"Thanks Annie, I don't know how you can stay so calm." Peggy said. I laughed and started cooking breakfast as I'd heard the twins stirring when I'd come downstairs. We got comfortable and settled ourselves for a long wait.  
  
"Oh, mmm, that one hurt." Peggy's face creased painfully as she had another contraction.  
  
"Easy, just breathe, in and out. That's great, see, that was quicker than last time." I held her hand tightly, while checking my watch. "Eight minutes, we're getting somewhere. Are you sure you don't want me to call Margaret?"  
  
"No, you'll manage fine, and we can't have her come up from work." Peggy insisted. I shrugged, I knew what I was doing, but would have preferred Margaret's presence to keep me calm.  
  
"That was my waters!" Peggy called. I was upstairs, putting the twins down for a nap. The kids had just had lunch and were getting sleepy. I hurried back downstairs, to Peggy, and took off the wet sheets, replacing them with plenty of clean, dry ones and lots of towels, preparing for the last stages.  
  
It had been 6am when she'd woken me, and nine hours later, 3pm we were pretty convinced that the men, who were coming back at 4, weren't going to make it. She was dilating quickly and her contractions were already at five minutes. She was crying out with every contraction, and Amy and Erin were starting to worry.  
  
"Okay Peggy, I know that you want BJ here, but I'm here, that'll have to do, once you're another inch and a half dilated, we can have the baby out." I told her confidently. "I'm going to get Cathie to mind the kids for a while okay? She's wonderful, Erin and Amy will be fine I'll go call her. Sit tight I'll be back really soon." I went into the kitchen and rang Cathie. She agreed to come across and pick up Erin, Amy, Felicity, Ben and April.  
  
"Thanks Cathie, you're a lifesaver." I smiled as she took the kids away. Hurrying back to Peggy, I clutched at the nearest object and groaned. Forcing myself to breathe deeply, I realised that I'd just had a contraction. I had been right, but at the moment, Baby could wait, Peggy was a lot closer to giving birth than I. Muttering a few unsavoury things, I hurried back to Peggy, who was not far off giving birth.  
  
"Give me half a second okay?" I dashed into Daniel's office and found the surgical gloves. I suspect Hawkeye and BJ had plans for them, but couldn't care less. I fixed a sheet around my front to protect my clothes from the mess of the afterbirth, and returned to Peggy who was rather vocal in telling me the baby wasn't waiting around.  
  
"Peggy, it's action time, you know the drill, get ready to push!" It was 25 to 4, and very soon, I would be delivering Peggy's third child. The men weren't back, and at the rate things were going we knew they'd miss the main event by a few short minutes.  
  
Much shouting, groaning, screaming, and pushing later I had most of the baby out, and all Peggy needed to do was push one more time.  
  
"One more Peggy sweetheart! That's great! Here we go, it's a boy!" I cleared his mouth and he began crying all at once, so I wrapped him in a sheet and handed him to his mother.  
  
"Thankyou Annie." She was holding her son with an awed look on her face. He'd stopped crying and his wide blue eyes stared at the world.  
  
"Congratulations Peg, he's a beautiful healthy baby. If you give one more push, I can get the afterbirth out of the way, and we'll make sure that there aren't any surprises waiting up there!"  
  
A few messy moments later, it was over. I peeled off my gloves and untied the sheet from my front, depositing them in a large basin. I joined Peggy at the head of the bed, admiring her newborn son. It was just after 4, and we guessed that the men had been held up.  
  
"He's beautiful. Peggy, do you want to cut the cord?" I had Daniel's med bag in. Peggy shook her head.  
  
"Leave something for BJ, he delivered Erin and he cut her cord, he'd love it if he could cut Hayden's cord too. Do you want to hold him?" I accepted the tiny new baby, knowing that I'd also be holding my own child by tonight. Hayden was Peggy's maiden name, and she and BJ had agreed that was what they'd call their son.  
  
"That's the men, here, will you two be okay for a minute?" I gave Hayden back to Peggy and went outside. They were just getting in, laughing having plainly had a good day.  
  
"Hi boys, did you have fun?" I beamed at them, they turned around, I was still bloody and messy from delivering the placenta, even though I had put a sheet over my front.  
  
"Annie what happened?" Three men asked urgently.  
  
"Nothing big, congratulations Beej, you're a daddy again. Ow!" I doubled over with a contraction. "And congratulations Hawkeye, you're about to be a daddy again." I added once I'd recovered.  
  
We went into the bedroom, where Peggy and BJ were crying with joy as BJ held his little son. He looked up as we came into the room, smiling directly at me.  
  
"Thankyou Annie." He whispered sincerely.  
  
"Anytime." I smiled. "Hawkeye, help!" I grabbed Hawkeye as a very sudden and strong contraction hit, combined with my waters breaking.  
  
"Alright Annie, let's get you into bed upstairs, we'll have Baby out alive and well in no time." Daniel said calmly.  
  
"Good luck Anne, I'll call Margaret." BJ said, kissing me as I was helped out of the room and onto my own bed, awaiting the birth of my fourth and final child.  
  
Things escalated quickly, by the time Margaret arrived, I was four minutes apart and 3inches dilated. Daniel and Hawkeye were encouraging me gently as I screamed my way through a very long, painful contraction.  
  
"That's great Anne, oh, you're so good, I'm so proud of you! I love you so much!" Hawkeye kissed my face.  
  
"Son of a bitch! How can you say you love me? You're the one who got me pregnant! You try pushing something the size of a watermelon through something the size of a keyhole." I threw my head back as the contraction felt like it was about to rip me in two. Although I gave birth to three healthy babies, the actual labours had been very painful, even with April's I had obviously been in a lot of pain and I was unconscious at the time.  
  
"Easy Anne, shh, that's right." Margaret soothed me, wiping my sweaty face with a wet cloth.  
  
"Oh, did I really say those horrible things to you Hawkeye? I'm so sorry, I know you love me, or I wouldn't be pregnant." I kissed him, and he deepened it, giving me a whole lot of strength that I really needed. I broke it off quickly as another contraction hit.  
  
"Come on Annie, it's a head, that's right, one more, we have shoulders." Margaret encouraged some minutes later.  
  
"Good girl beautiful here we have it, the most. . ." He paused, mostly to check the baby's gender. "Beautiful pair of green eyes on the planet!"  
  
"Oh thank god." The baby began to cry and I flopped on the pillow, while Daniel delivered the placenta and cut the cord.  
  
"You have got the prettiest eyes Baby." He wrapped the newborn in a towel, but still cradled it, one large finger clutched by a tiny red hand, and he was gazing down, totally besotted.  
  
"I heard the cry, what is it?" BJ asked, coming in. I was still flopped on my back, Hawkeye was kissing my face, and Margaret was finishing the cleanup.  
  
"We don't know, except that it has green eyes." I whispered hoarsely. Hawkeye forced a drink of water to my mouth. Swallowing some, I pointed to Daniel. He still rocked his grandbaby, totally in love.  
  
"Oh," BJ smiled and went over to Daniel. "Excuse me Grandad, buy I think that Mummy and Daddy would like to meet their. . ." He paused to do the check, "daughter. Annie you've had another girl!" My jaw dropped, I had been positive I was having a boy, mind you, I had also been pretty sure with April.  
  
"She looks just like Katharine, I was lost for a moment." Daniel placed my daughter in my arms. Right away you could see that she would have beautiful, delicate features. Her eyes were a clear soft green, her head was covered in downy red-gold curls and her skin was smooth and pale but not unhealthy.  
  
"What was Katharine's full name?" I asked. BJ congratulated me, kissed the baby and then shook hands with Hawkeye who waltzed him around the room in joy.  
  
"She's just perfect Beej! I love this parent thing!" Hawkeye whooped, kissing BJ on the cheek as he left to report to Peggy.  
  
"Katharine Bridget O'Hara, most beautiful nurse I ever met." Daniel replied once things had settled down.  
  
"I think Baby's middle name should be Katharine, it's a bit too fancy otherwise."  
  
"What about Isabelle?" Margaret suggested, Isabelle was a particular favourite name of Margaret's.  
  
"Keep that name for your Majorette." Hawkeye smiled. "What about Jessica?"  
  
"It's sweet, pretty and not too fancy, I like it. Jessica Katharine Pierce." I tried the name out, it suited her, simple, and very pretty.  
  
"I like it, it does justice to my Katharine." Daniel said. That settled it, anything that honoured a beautiful and much-loved woman was perfect. I yawned them, delivering Peggy's son and then my daughter had worn me out.  
  
We finished the cleanup and weighed Jess, who came in at 7.5 pounds, outweighing little Hayden who was 7lbs 2. Peggy admired and cuddled Jess who was then brought back up and laid to sleep in her bassinette. Then the men got the kids from Cathie's, and looked after them while Peggy and I slept.  
  
The whole town soon heard that the stork had visited twice in a few short hours, and apparently, Peg and I were too out of things to hear, people kept knocking on the door, bringing presents and admiring the new arrivals.  
  
I woke when I heard April at about 7, I had been asleep for the better part of 14 hours. I was dying to cuddle my children . . . and dying to visit the latrine. April could wait, and I went to the toilet first.  
  
Lifting April from her crib, I discovered that I was still a bit sore around my back and stomach, so I quickly carried April into my room and set her down on my bed preparing to introduce my baby to my baby.  
  
"April, Angel, Mummy had a new baby, you want to see?" I asked. Her blue eyes fixed on me, trying to understand. I knew she'd comprehend April, Angel, Mummy, baby and see.  
  
"Y-y-yes!" She squeaked. I heard Hawkeye stir, and I knew he was listening. Though she had a small vocabulary, the basics, Mama, Dada, Baba, Yes, No, and Please, something I was still trying to drill into the twins, it was plain she also stuttered as every word had two or three extra syllables.  
  
"Well, wait a minute Angel-eyes and I'll get the baby." I got up again to lift my tiny sleeping daughter from her bed. She barely stirred, apparently being born was as tiring for her as it was for me.  
  
"April, this is Jessica, this is Mummy's baby." I displayed the fragile little life to her.  
  
"B-b-baba?" April queried, reaching a shy hand out.  
  
"It's okay April, you can touch. This is your sister Jessica." I helped April place a dimpled hand on the soft curls on Jess's head. April forgot her English and babbled incoherently with joy. I had been deliberate in not holding April while I showed her the baby, so she'd know that there was someone else who needed Mummy's cuddles too.  
  
"Mummy!" Two days earlier Ben had discovered how to climb out of his cot. It was no great worry, and we just kept a few spare cushions around the sides of his crib in case he fell.  
  
"Benny-boy, how are you this morning sport?" I asked as he climbed up onto the bed, stomping on his daddy's head to do so. Hawkeye groaned as his son's small feet squashed his ear.  
  
"Baby! Mummy's baby?" I'd already explained to the twins that there was going to be another baby, and they knew what it meant, there'd be another small, crying person around the house that often took mummy's attention away from them.  
  
"Yes Ben, this is Jessica, Mummy's baby. Jessica is your sister."  
  
"Ape is sis, Lyss is sis, not Bess." I jumped at that, maybe it wasn't April I had to worry about.  
  
"Yes, Ben, Jess is your sister too, your new sister."  
  
"Yuck!" Ben climbed off the bed and left the room. I heard him go into the playroom. April decided to follow, tenderly kissing Jessica's head before leaving.  
  
"Well, that was interesting." Hawkeye sat up, rubbing his eyes where Ben's heels had trodden heavily.  
  
"Yeah, I was worried about April, not about Ben, how do you think Felicity will take it?"  
  
"She loves being the boss, look at how she mothers April, I think Ben would've preferred a baby brother." Hawkeye said, kissing his daughter's face.  
  
"I would have liked another boy so Ben had someone to play with, it's a strain being the only. I mean, Jack had a few friends, and I'd tag along, but I hated being the only girl. Then if Meg and I went somewhere, Jack would follow and he had the worst time." I remembered the days when everything had been so simple with a smile.  
  
"Perseverance my love." Hawkeye kissed me. "We'll get through this somehow."  
  
"Aunty Belle, Felicity's awake, can I help you change her diaper?" It was Erin, and she stood at the door. The twins were almost potty-trained except for when they were asleep, I was grateful as April was still 100% diaper- reliant and of course Jessica would be too, and the thought of four completely un toilet-trained children replaced war in my nightmares.  
  
"Sure Erin honey, just give me a minute." I handed my newborn daughter to her immensely proud father and slowly got out of bed. The pain had lessened since I'd woken and I guessed it was just overnight stiffness.  
  
"Did you have your baby? Daddy and Mummy had my brother, Hayden too!" Erin squeaked as she saw the transfer of the little bundle. She was nearly six, and had all BJ's best features, and all of Peggy's best features.  
  
"Yes Erin, and I'll tell you what, you can have a cuddle with Jessica later, but if you want to be the nurse and hand we what I ask for with Ben and Flick, that would be so helpful." She liked to play doctors with BJ and enjoyed being the nurse. She also loved being the big sister to Amy, and even to my three when we were together.  
  
"Okay." She took my hand and slowly, I made my way down the hall to Felicity's room.  
  
"What are we going to do about Ben?" I asked. It had been nearly two months since Jess's birth, and Ben still refused to acknowledge his sister. We'd tried everything we could think of, and failed every time.  
  
We'd been to the Manhattan reunion, and had a great time. Everyone thought both Hayden Francis Honnicut and Jessica Katharine Pierce were as beautiful as the other and were extremely relieved to see Max Jr now 4mo old, had his mother's nose. However, we'd decided not to have one the next year as it was getting too hard for BJ, Radar, Max and myself to travel with our young families but, we'd decided we'd have a 10-year peace treaty celebration and invite everyone we knew, including Frank Burns.  
  
"Don't worry baby, we'll sort things. Now it's our anniversary, and Dad's minding them all, we're out, at a restaurant so let's have some fun." It was Hawkeye's and my first wedding anniversary.  
  
"Alright, as long as we can worry tomorrow."  
  
"Tomorrow." Hawkeye agreed. "To all the tomorrows that we're about to have, all the wonderful happy tomorrows." I gave a laugh.  
  
"You sound like Annie, the redhead. Tomorrow, tomorrow, I love ya tomorrow, you're only a day. . ." Hawkeye put his hand over my mouth.  
  
"Shh, a toast, to tomorrow, and tomorrows tomorrow, when I will be with you, everyday." He raised his glass and removed his hand from my mouth.  
  
"To tomorrow!" I echoed. 


	16. December 1956

December 1956  
  
"Anne, you look beat." I struggled into the bedroom after finally settling April. Hawkeye was confined to bed with a nasty flu, the same thing that was keeping April awake.  
  
"I am beat! Felicity threw up on my pyjama top again, hence the naked from the waist up look, Ben screamed for half an hour while I tried to take his temperature, he still hates Jess by the way, and Jess won't drink because she's so blocked up and my boobs hurt!" I collapsed on the bed. Daniel was at the hospital, with a patient. It wasn't really a hospital as Daniel, Hawkeye and the odd specialist were the only doctors. It was more of a place for very sick people to stay so they could be nursed 24/7.  
  
"Dare I ask why?" Hawkeye said. His throat was obviously very sore.  
  
"Because Jess won't drink and they're overfull!" I moaned. I felt like every muscle in my body hurt, to say nothing of my engorged mammary glands. The 4mo baby was feeling pretty rotten, and didn't want to know about me, preferring the cuddles of her absent grandpa.  
  
"Come on, sit back here, I'll fix you up, just grab a cloth diaper or something." I got one and Hawkeye sat up on the pillows. I lay back between his legs, my head resting on his chest, while he soothingly gave me a massage, his skilled hands gently helping to relieve the pain in my swollen breasts as he eased some of the milk out to relieve the pressure.  
  
One massage and a milky diaper later, Hawkeye's hands moved to my back and shoulders in a sensuous, relaxing massage. Despite everything, I found myself pushing into his touch, stretching my body, and feeling a whole lot better for it. I fell asleep soon after, cuddled against his chest.  
  
It was a very long fortnight, as I came down with the same thing two days later, just as the kids were beginning to recover, and I wasn't allowed to play with them or cuddle them. Hawkeye nursed me back to health and by the week before Christmas everyone was fighting fit again.  
  
"Mrs O can have the spare room next to Dad, we'll put Wally and Eddie in the playroom, and Radar and Monica can. . ." I paused to think. The O'Reillys were staying for Christmas, and I was running out of sleeping ideas.  
  
"We can put the girls in one room, and put the twins back in cribs, Radar and Monica can have the twins' beds." We'd got them proper sized beds to avoid needing to buy bigger ones further on, and they had removable sides.  
  
"You my dear husband are a lifesaver!" Jess was still small enough to sleep in a bassinette, but we hoped to move her into a crib soon. A thought hit me, Charles was also coming to spend Christmas with his daughter. I sighed and paced through the house, trying to sort things.  
  
"Radar and Monica foldout in playroom, Ben and Wally in Ben's room, Wally in Ben's crib." It turned out Wally was still a crib sleeper. "Edwina, April's crib, April's room, Lyss with Dad. Mrs O spare room. Charles, Lyssa's bed, in her room, April, Lyssa's crib, Lyssa's room with Charles." I scribbled notes on a piece of paper, and with less than 24 hours before they arrived on the 23rd of December, things were really sorted once and for all.  
  
I'd acquired a piano shortly after we'd moved and I sat with April, playing a Nocturne while Jess listened transfixed from her bunny rug on the floor. Jess already loved music, and seemed to be very much like her paternal grandmother and myself.  
  
April bashed joyfully on the keys while my slim hands ran over the keyboard, my wedding ring catching the flickering light of the fire , the flames making the band look orange.  
  
"Hello, hello?" It was Charles, over April's bashing, I hadn't heard his quiet car.  
  
"April, go and see daddy. The door's open, come on in!" I called.  
  
"D-D-Dad-Daddy!" April toddled as fast as her little legs would take her to Charles who had come in.  
  
"Angel-face!" Charles bent down and swept his 20mo daughter into his arms. They cuddled each other, and I realised that their hair was almost the same colour. "How are you beautiful?"  
  
"Hawkeye, Dad, come down and say hello to Charles, and bring the twins. Come Charlie, I left Jess alone, I really should go back." Hawkeye and Daniel appeared at the bottom of the stairs.  
  
"Mummy, I have cake?" Felicity asked, running down the stairs.  
  
"No Princess, not until after dinner, and we'll have dinner when Uncle Radar, Aunty Monica and Ma arrive." The kids called Mrs O simply Ma.  
  
"Charles, great to see you!" Daniel shook Charles's hand. April still sat high on her father's shoulder. I headed back into the living room, the men and kids following me. Jessica was still perfectly happy on her rug.  
  
"The place looks just divine Annie, I regret everyday that I let you go." Charles admired the Christmas tree, and the other decorations.  
  
"Charlie, please, I regret it too, but I'm very happy here, isn't that right baby?" I addressed Jessica as I picked her up. She smiled, a wide, trusting grin and cuddled into my shoulder.  
  
"Daddy, pick me up!" That was Ben, and Hawkeye lifted our boy. "Mummy bad, she have Bess!"  
  
"Benjamin Pierce, your mother is not bad, and neither is Jessica." Hawkeye said, putting Ben down at once. That was our newest idea, ignoring Ben whenever he started up, it worked about as well as anything else.  
  
"Bess not sis!" Ben said pouting. We began to chatter, ignoring him, as he threw a typical two-year-old tantrum, screaming, crying and kicking the floor, vowing "I no love Mummy, bad!"  
  
"You play Annie?" Charles asked loudly over Ben's yelling.  
  
"Yes, a little." I sat down at the piano, handing Jessica to Daniel.  
  
"She a regular genius!" Hawkeye said. "Play something Anne, and not a show tune, something classy." I'd been known to burst into excellently played rowdy show tunes for no apparent reason.  
  
"Alright." I thought for a second, before beginning to play a piece by Czerny. I cut it short, to notice Ben had stopped screaming, April and Charles were cuddling on the sofa, Daniel and Jess were sitting in front on the fire, Jess entranced by the flickering flames and the music, while Hawkeye and Felicity were snuggled on the armchair.  
  
"It's beautiful Anne, I always wanted to play like that." Charles spoke at last.  
  
"Thanks, it was music or nursing for me . . . and I couldn't afford the music." I said. "Sit down here with me, I'll show you a few basics." I shifted over and Charles and April joined me on the seat while Hawkeye went and picked up Radar and Monica from the train station.  
  
"Merry Christmas Charlie." I handed him a wrapped package. It was Christmas morning and Daniel, Charles, Mrs O, Radar, a two month pregnant Monica, Wally, Edwina, Hawkeye, Ben, Felicity, Jess, April and myself gathered in the living room in front of the fire.  
  
"Thankyou Annie, oh Annabelle!" It was a record of Mozart's Quintet, the one he had broken in Korea. I knew it was still painful for him to think of the POWs, but I knew there'd also been enough time for the wound to heal and for him to hear that piece again.  
  
"You're welcome Charles." I smiled, we handed around more presents, having a lovely time, and then my family turned up, more presents. They stayed for lunch and once they were gone, the O'Reillys, Charles, Hawkeye, the kids, Dad and myself sat around contemplating dinner.  
  
"I will cook eventually, I promise, just not yet, I'm too full from lunch!" I laughed, watching Ben sulk while Dad cuddled my girls. Ben had been invited, but once he realised that Jess was there, he'd refused.  
  
"Angel-features, come to Mummy." I opened my arms and my darling daughter obeyed, climbing off Dad's lap and running up to me. I picked her up and sat her on my knees, looking in her blue eyes seriously.  
  
"I need you to help me Angel, Ben see Jessica is good." I set April on the floor. She understood Ben, see, Jessica and good, and she knew that Ben thought Jess was bad. So she toddled over to him and sat down, her diaper- clad bottom falling heavily.  
  
"B-B-Ben!" She stammered clearly. Ben's dark head turned to his sister at once, his eyes alight with joy. This was a new word for my little Angel.  
  
"Mummy, Ape say Ben!" He beamed, kissing her. "I lub you Apey."  
  
"No wuv Bess!" Felicity said, climbing down from Dad's lap. "You bad!"  
  
"Bess bad!" Ben said firmly. The two girls were fond of their sis, and had decided to do something about Ben.  
  
"N-n-no!" April said. "Goo-oo-ood! B-b-berry g-g-good!" She said. This was the most I'd ever heard April talk, and she'd never said very before. For 20 months, this was very advanced.  
  
"Yes Ape say right! Bess good!" Wally and Edwina, who had been reading with Monica decided to have their say.  
  
"Jess nice!" Wally said, coming over and joining the kids on the floor.  
  
"Baba soft!" Eddie added as she plopped down onto the rug with her brother.  
  
"No, Bess is bad, Mummy no cuddle me with Bess!" That wasn't true; I cuddled him plenty, until he started being unfair about Jess again that was.  
  
"Mummy cuddles you!" Felicity argued! "Bess good!"  
  
"B-B-Ben! P-p-ple-ple-please, g-g-goo-good!" April insisted. Ben's little brow creased in thought at the very definite telling off. It didn't take much to see it had reached even his 33mo brain.  
  
Slowly Ben stood up, very thoughtfully and went to each of the children, giving them a serious little kiss. Telling 'Wal' 'Winnie' 'Ape' and 'Lyss' that he 'lub' them. They all gave him a serious kiss back, obviously knowing he was about to make a big decision.  
  
"Grandpa, see Bess?" He walked over to where Dad was nursing Jess still.  
  
"Of course Sport." He showed Ben his little sister. Slowly he put a small hand on her reddish curls. He patted her head a few times, thoughtfully.  
  
"Bess nice. Lub you Bess." He said finally, kissing her hair. Jess laughed and smiled directly at him. "Mummy, Daddy, Bess smile!" He beamed.  
  
"Oh you little darlings, I love you all so much!" I fell on my knees and four children attacked me, my elder daughters and the O'Reillys. I hugged and kissed them, my arms full of children, and saw Ben coming towards me too. I opened my arms a little more and five squirming children now cuddled against me, like a litter of puppies.  
  
After that the children all played happily on the floor, while I churned out a truly appalling quantity of show tunes, and ragtime numbers, on the piano, doing my skill very little justice.  
  
"Goodnight."  
  
"Night,"  
  
"See you in the morning!" We were all retiring, having ushered our children off to bed earlier.  
  
"Hawkeye, how long has it been since we've had sex?" I asked, at once Hawkeye was nuzzling my neck, and teasing me with gentle caressing and fondling.  
  
"Too long, you're feeling better then?" He didn't let me answer, kissing me.  
  
"Well, yes, but I have a more serious reason for asking." I pulled away form the kiss enough to talk, but not enough to completely cancel the idea.  
  
"Our anniversary." That had been August first, nearly 20 weeks earlier.  
  
"Thought so." We'd been together on the night of our anniversary, but it had hurt me, not recovered enough from the birth, and we'd left sex by the wayside since then. "Hawkeye, I think I'm pregnant, this belly is more than just postnatal puppy fat."  
  
"Hmm? You don't think that one little event?" Hawkeye asked. "It was one giant disaster, it hurt you, neither of us enjoyed it much, I don't think you even came, you don't really think it's possible?"  
  
"It's possible, feel that." I put Hawkeye's hand on my stomach, and I knew I was right by the way his eyes opened widely and he gasped for words. Having only just had a baby, I had no symptoms that couldn't be passed off as postnatal changes, but as I realised my belly was staying, and if anything growing, I knew it wasn't just postnatal.  
  
"I'll go down, talk to Dad, I want him to see now, okay?"  
  
"Yeah, and then, we'll pick up where we left off." Hawkeye kissed me as I got out of bed. I went downstairs, checking in on the sleeping children.  
  
"Dad, it's Annie." I tapped on his door, and waited for a response. When it came it was hurried, and he sounded puffed, like he'd been running.  
  
"Annie, what is it? Can't it wait until the morning?" I suddenly realised the exact strain in his voice, the one I heard all too often in Supply just after the choppers buzzed into hearing or when someone interrupted us.  
  
"For what you've got going definitely goodnight Dad." I smiled.  
  
"Night Annie." He called, sounding a little relieved, I heard a small whisper, confirming my suspicion.  
  
"Goodnight Mrs O." I called shaking my head in disbelief. I heard smothered laughter bursting from within the room. I checked the spare room, as I'd expected Felicity was in Mrs O's bed and Mrs O was nowhere to be seen.  
  
"That was quick!" Hawkeye remarked as I returned.  
  
"Dad doesn't really want to be interrupted right now. And neither does Mrs O." I added with a grin.  
  
"Dad and Mrs O! I don't believe it!" Hawkeye said. I hurriedly silenced him, Jess was asleep in the same room.  
  
"Meanwhile, let's pick up where we left off ourselves." I climbed into the bed, pressing myself against Hawkeye. He laughed and dragged me into his very warm embrace.  
  
Sometime later, I let out a little yelp as Hawkeye began to make a meal of my navel.  
  
"Shh," he warned, with an evil smile. "You'll wake Jess."  
  
"Okay, well, let's do this in complete silence." I dared.  
  
"Oh, I always was one for a challenge!" Hawkeye whispered, lowering his head. Hastily I grabbed a pillow to muffle anything that came out of my mouth.  
  
The next day, Daniel confirmed I was about 4months pregnant, and I was definitely worrying. I'd be due in June, and Jess would barely be a year old, if that. This baby was unplanned, there was no other word for it.  
  
"Well, you have my congratulations Annie." Charles smiled, bouncing April on his lap.  
  
"That's real swell Annie ma'am." I'd always be Annie ma'am to Radar.  
  
"Well, if that's the case I have news for you too. Radar, in seven and a half months you're going to be a daddy again!" Monica beamed, while Radar kissed his wife.  
  
"Oh it's a time for surprises huh?" Daniel grinned. "Well, I have a doozy! Edna O'Reilly, will you marry me?" I'm glad I still remembered my Korean at that point, because what I said was definitely unsuitable for the kids' ears.  
  
"Daniel Pierce, if it means moving to this lovely town, yes I will!" Edna smiled. I swore furiously again, keeping up an extremely fluent albeit rude stream of Korean.  
  
"Ma! Are you listening to yourself?" Radar burst out.  
  
"Edna, that's great!" Monica smiled.  
  
"My warmest congratulations to you both." Charles said.  
  
"I finally have a little brother!" Hawkeye cheered. "Dad, it took you 20 years, but I finally got the brother I always wanted!" Somehow a very big group hug formed itself but was hurriedly finished by the phone ringing.  
  
"Anne?" It was Mum and her voice was laced with panic and tears.  
  
"What Mum? Is something wrong?" I asked hurriedly.  
  
"Have you seen Lily?"  
  
"Not since yesterday why?"  
  
"Well, she's gone, she's taken all her clothes and records and things and gone!"  
  
"Good lord, have you asked at Tom's?" Lily and Tom were going steady and had been for almost five years.  
  
"He's gone too, clothes and all."  
  
"Mum, they're 20 years old, goodness knows, they're probably just out to have some fun, if they're not back tomorrow, or you haven't heard from them, then you can worry, but until then, just relax, Lily's a bright girl."  
  
"Thanks Annabelle, be good now." Mum and I hung up.  
  
"What, Anne? You look like you've seen a ghost."  
  
"Lily's gone missing, she and her boyfriend have just run away." There was a shocked silence, giving us time to wonder how things could be so easily upset after everything appeared so perfect.  
  
It became the New Year, Charles and the O'Reillys went to their respective homes, however Mrs O would return soon for a May wedding. Radar had been a bit upset that his mother was leaving him to watch another lot of kids grow up, but soon saw how happy she was with Daniel.  
  
I was growing quickly now, but I was still apprehensive about another baby, especially as Ben had only just grown to accept Jess, I didn't want a repeat of that. Aside from that, my body was exhausted from carrying a growing embryo for nine months, giving birth and then breastfeeding, and just the thought of a 2am diaper or feed made me want to weep.  
  
Lily had not yet returned, but she rang once to say she and Tom were married. When she hadn't returned I'd figured that was what had happened. Mum was very upset that another one of her babies had gone but was happy to hear that Lily had settled down.  
  
Everything was wild, my kids seemed to grow more and more everyday, and I could still remember the day when BJ told me I was pregnant so clearly I could hardly believe it had been just over 3 years since that day.  
  
Even though there were a few downs in our lives at the moment, with my missing sister and unplanned baby, Hawkeye and I were happy, and even more in love than ever. 


	17. April to June 1957: Depths of Depression

April - June 1957  
  
My hormones had got the better of me again, for about the fifth time that day. I sat on the bed, my knees hugged as tightly to my chest as possible, the 25-week bulge making even the simplest thing impossible. My hands hid my face as I sobbed uncontrollably. The door opened, and Hawkeye came in, he crawled onto the bed behind me, and wrapped his arms around me as I sobbed.  
  
"Annie, sweetheart what's wrong?" His hands and voice were gentle as he laid his head on my back.  
  
"Everything Hawkeye! Look at me!" I sobbed, I felt his head lift off me and I knew he was looking at me.  
  
"What darling? You're just beautiful, though I prefer you when you smile, and if you think there's something wrong with how you look being pregnant, there isn't. It's a beautiful thing that our baby is growing there." He kissed the back of my neck a few times, but I squirmed away, trying to slap him.  
  
"Hawkeye, get off, sex is not always the answer!" I went downstairs, seeking out the calm childless retreat of Daniel's study. That was the only place in the house the kids weren't allowed, as Daniel needed his own space. Hawkeye and I often sought solace here too as Jess slept in our study until we finished a room upstairs.  
  
I curled on the sofa, oblivious to Daniel writing at his desk. After a while we became aware of each other's presence and I went to leave, so as not to disturb Daniel further.  
  
"Wait, beautiful what's wrong?" Daniel met me at the door, taking me into his arms, and holding me tightly.  
  
"Dad, I can't handle doing the baby thing again, we called it quits at four, and now it's five, and thank god it's not twins! My body hasn't had a break from being pregnant since June 1953! There's only about six months between the twins and April, the same again with April and Jess, and even less between Jess and this one." We hadn't nicknamed the baby yet, and I doubted we ever would, it was too unplanned, and dare I say, unwanted.  
  
"Sweetheart, there is actually something to be said for condoms here." Daniel said, kissing my head. "But Annie, you'll manage, I know you will. I have never, ever, EVER met anyone as tough as you. You'll be just fine."  
  
"Okay you have a point, Hawkeye and I never considered it, I guess we just thought I wouldn't get pregnant a month after giving birth. I've been breastfeeding since March of '54, as soon as I begin to be me again, I find out I'm pregnant. Jess is up all night because she's teething, and once she gets to sleep, I go to bed, only to have to get up at 6 and be a Mum and a housewife until about 7 when the other kids go down, then stay up until 4am with Jess, then get up at 6 and start all over again! So I have two hours solid sleep, combined with three patchy hours before that. Dad I can't hack this, I'm exhausted, physically and mentally. Every muscle hurts, my breasts ache, the baby is taking hell out on my ribs, I can't stop crying and I haven't been able to wear my clothes for months."  
  
"Steady on my dear. You know hormones are what make you so teary. And you and Hawkeye agreed when this baby was born, you were definitely calling it quits, even if you had to practise abstinence just so you'd get your break, Anne, you're 25 weeks pregnant, 11 to go. You're a damn tough woman, and not only a tough one, a beautiful one, so give me a smile okay?" I lifted my face to meet his, and I gave a tiny little smile.  
  
"Thanks, Dad. I think I better go talk to Hawkeye, I kind of yelled at him unreasonably." Dad gave me a hug and a kiss before sending me on my way. I went and made up with Hawkeye as required, he apologised too, and then we went and had a peaceful child-free bath as Margaret taken the four kids into Portland to see Mum.  
  
In a few days, April turned two. The twins had just turned three and Jess was about 5 weeks away from turning 1, which meant I was about 6 or so weeks off giving birth. However I wasn't half as happy as I should have been, in fact there was only one word for it - depressed.  
  
"Come on Anne, give a smile, you're so incredibly mopey, and I love you so much more when you laugh. Not that I don't love you now, but it's so much easier to love a smile." Hawkeye beseeched as I put the final touches on my dress, that I would be wearing to the Pierce-O'Reilly wedding.  
  
"Hawkeye, listen, I'm tired of this, I won't be able to cope with another few hours of labour, I'm not even sure I want the baby." That seemed to hurt Hawkeye deeply.  
  
"Anne, you will want it, from the very first second you hold that precious little life. . ."  
  
"Knowing that for the next few months, he'll deprive me of sleep, vomit and drool on my clothes, and make my emotions even less manageable than they are now!" I said sarcastically.  
  
"Settle, and drop your voice, you'll wake the kids. Would it help you feel closer to the baby if we picked a name?"  
  
"Yeah, it might. Boy or girl?" I lied.  
  
"Boy, look at how you're carrying, so much higher than Jess."  
  
"Yeah." I glanced dispassionately at my bump. "I feel like it's a girl though."  
  
"All the more reason to pick a boy's name. What was Jack's middle name? Adrian, Aden, something like that?"  
  
"Adam." I said dully.  
  
"I like that, okay think a little more, what was your mother's maiden name?"  
  
"Umm, Riley, Anita Kathleen Riley." I had to think there, Mum had been a Dawson, Reuben, Beresford and a Hayes in my lifetime, and I hadn't often heard her maiden name.  
  
"What about Adam Riley Pierce? Do you think that suits?" I put my hands around the belly, and felt the small kicks. Instead of the usual thrill of life, I felt nothing, as if I was detached from the baby, a separate being.  
  
"Yeah, Adam, sounds good, but if it is a girl can we call her Bridget Adrienne?" I asked, trying to feel connected with the baby. It was still 'the' baby, never 'my' baby, or even 'our' baby, unless it came from Hawkeye's mouth.  
  
"That's pretty, I like it. Now you and Adam lie down and go to sleep, and please try and smile for the wedding tomorrow." Daniel and Mrs O were marrying in the afternoon and we were playing host to quite a few O'Reillys.  
  
"Okay, I promise I will smile tomorrow." I said. Hawkeye put an arm around me and eased me back onto the bed, kissing my face softly, wishing me sweet dreams. I fell asleep, not feeling any closer to the baby in the least.  
  
"Congratulations Dad!" Hawkeye and I descended upon the newly-married man. We hugged and kissed him lovingly, and did the same for Mrs O, as I still fondly called her, despite her new title.  
  
"Thankyou, oh Annie, can't you manage a smile?" Daniel asked. I shook my head, Mum had phoned again with no idea of where Lily was, and we believed she'd left the state.  
  
"Dad, I hate to be a party-pooper, but I really don't want the baby, and Lily's missing, I'm sick with worry."  
  
"Come on, I'll have a dance with you, that ought to make you smile." I went for a dance with Daniel, and as he predicted, felt a whole lot better after a lot of empty flirting, that I noticed with a smile, Hawkeye and Mrs O were also cheerfully engaging in.  
  
"Thanks Daniel, I'm very lucky to have you, and so is Mrs O, if you two don't deserve this, I dunno who does." Hawkeye and Daniel switched partners. The newlyweds left for their weekend in Nova Scotia and Hawkeye and I returned home, and I was surprised to find myself feeling better, well enough to indulge in a little cuddling and teasing with Hawkeye.  
  
"Mummy, why you sad? It Jess birthday, be happy." Felicity said. I forced a smile. I was due almost any day, but to my concern, the baby hadn't moved since the first. Daniel was mildly concerned, but didn't want to act in a hurry before I was due.  
  
"I'm sorry Princess, Mummy's just worried about her baby."  
  
"Why's is you worry?" Ben asked.  
  
"Never mind Sport. Mummy's just being silly. Now, let's go and see if Daddy's finished with Jess." He'd taken her upstairs for a diaper. We were having a small family thing, with Daniel and Mrs O, and I forced myself to remain smiling, so my kids at least thought I was happy.  
  
"Daniel, I'm really worried, the baby hasn't moved since the morning of the first, it's twelve days now." I said, coming into his office I was due today, but the bay hadn't moved. Mrs O removed herself from the corner of the desk and Daniel wiped lipstick off his face.  
  
"Let me hear." Daniel said seriously. Grabbing his stethoscope, his face creased with concern he searched for my baby's heartbeat.  
  
"Annie, I can't find one, we have a serious problem here. Edna, can you watch the kids, I want to get Annie into hospital ASAP, I'm worried about the baby's health. Tell Hawkeye we're going to Portland when he gets back. And get him to bring Annie some overnight things, for at least three days, I doubt she'll be home tonight."  
  
"Of course Dan, what are you going to do?"  
  
"We're going to induce, it's been 12 days since the baby last moved, it's not looking good, but it may not yet be too late." Daniel said, looking I though very worried.  
  
"Oh, gee that's sure a worry, hope it all goes good." Edna said. Daniel disappeared muttering something about calling the hospital.  
  
"Thanks, they'll be up from their naps soon, and if they're not up by three, wake them, or they'll be up all night. They all still have a bottle before bed, no cookies before dinner, and get the twins to go on the toilet before bed, but put a diaper on." They slept all night, but wore diapers just in case.  
  
"Okay, good luck Annie, I sure hope it all goes real good for you." Daniel rushed me into my coat and into the car, before I knew it we were halfway to Portland. The Cove was too small for cases like this.  
  
"Can't I have any painkillers?" Daniel had ruptured the membrane, and things were moving very, very quickly as I was also on all sorts of drugs to accelerate things and it all hurt like hell, worse than with any of my other kids.  
  
"I'm so sorry, but we need you as alert as possible, here's Doctor Pierce again." Daniel came back into the room, he had been in the waiting room, subduing a raving Hawkeye who was not allowed in.  
  
I took another deep breath under Daniel's instruction and tried to push. Everything hurt so much I didn't know my ups from my downs. The world was unpleasantly hot and fuzzy and I could barely keep my eyes open.  
  
"Come on Annie, one more, please sweetheart, do it for Hawkeye." Daniel said. I screamed my lungs out, and passed out as Daniel delivered the baby.  
  
"Wake up Mrs Pierce, wake up." I stirred a little as the nurse called my name, I was aware of Daniel cleaning up and another nurse doing something with the baby.  
  
"Can I see him?" I whispered, knowing at once that something was wrong from the stricken look on Daniel's face and the fragile way in which I was treated.  
  
"I'm terribly sorry Mrs Pierce, he was a stillborn, but of course you may see him." The other nurse came over, displaying a little blue baby, whose eyes were closed. I held my hands out but I was refused.  
  
"I'm sorry Mrs Pierce, we try not to allow mothers to hold dead children, we don't want to allow them to get too close as the baby is already dead."  
  
"Dammit! I want to hold my baby, and say goodbye properly and get my husband in here." I said. Daniel became aware of the kafuffle and came over.  
  
"Nurse Bright! Give her the baby at once and go and fetch her husband, or I'll see to it you can't nurse anywhere on the east coast!" The nurse gave me my baby gently and hurried out.  
  
"Anne, he was born dead there was nothing we could do, but I didn't want to induce you before your due date, it would have been even harder. I'm so sorry." Daniel said, I could hear tears cracking in his normally strong voice.  
  
"Annie, oh my god, I've been out of my mind about you, but you're holding him, it's good news!" Hawkeye ran in, but at the sight of Daniel's white face and my tears, which I hadn't even realised were falling, he knew things weren't good.  
  
"Stillborn Hawkeye honey." I said, looking at the little baby. You could see he was a Dawson, just the image of Jack, with damp blonde fuzz, and I'd bet he had blue eyes under the sickly grey lids.  
  
"My boy, oh god, I don't believe it, but you were so real, I felt you kicking in her womb."  
  
"I'll leave you two to say goodbye, can I hold him for a second?" I handed Daniel the lifeless body. "Hi Adam, it's Grandpa here, I hope you can hear me, because I can tell right now that you would have been a very beautiful baby and I'm sorry I'll never get to see you grow up." He kissed the little head, before kissing Hawkeye and I and left.  
  
"Hey son, I wanted another boy very much, so I had two boys to take fishing, and teach about women, all that kind of stuff, and I hope that where you are now, you still get to learn that. And a word of advice, if you find a woman who you love when you're grown up, don't let her get away, remember that Adam. Goodbye baby." Hawkeye was crying as he held his son, and said his last goodbyes.  
  
"Hi Adam, it's your mummy. I'm sorry I never got to know you properly when you were inside me and I'm sorry for saying I didn't want you, because I do want you, very much. I love you dearly, wherever you are, you're still my son, I don't know if you can hear me, but I love you, and I'm going to miss you terribly. Goodbye baby boy, you'll never know how important you were to me." I cradled the baby tightly, and kissed him, admiring his tiny little hands and as I unwrapped him his feet. He was perfect in every way, and a Dawson right down to the ground.  
  
"Bye little man Mummy loves you." I gave him a last loving kiss before handing him over to the nurse. Then Hawkeye and I held each other and in the quiet of the delivery suite, we wept.  
  
Hawkeye's arms stopped me from shaking as that tiny white coffin was put to rest beside Katharine's grave. On the other side of the beautiful marble headstone, an empty plot stood, one that I didn't want to ever see filled, as it was reserved for the then young doctor whom Katharine Bridget O'Hara had agreed to marry so many years ago.  
  
Margaret was on Hawkeye's other side, holding his hand, and comforting him and BJ was the one who embraced all of us as a group while Peggy did her best to mind Erin, Amy-Jane, Hayden and my four. My friends had stayed true to their word and come when I needed them most, to hold me as my baby was lowered into the ground.  
  
I had been discharged four days after giving birth, and by then BJ, Peggy and the kids were comfortably settled in the spare room. By then Hawkeye had very gently explained that the baby wasn't coming home with Mummy, that the baby was dead, but had gone to Heaven, and wasn't coming back. But I'd still had to go over the story we'd agreed on to explain things for their smaller minds, one Hawkeye had been told as a boy of 12.  
  
Every baby that was growing in a woman was an angel, and when a person died, they became an angel again, like a big circle. God had decided that my baby, his angel wasn't ready for Earth and took his angel back. The kids understood, and accepted this story much to my relief. We'd also explained death meant people no longer lived or breathed, and that it could happen to anyone or anything.  
  
I'd had Alice draw a beautiful sketch of Adam, and it was framed and kept in Hawkeye's and my room, but whenever they wanted, the kids were free to look at it, and talk about their baby brother. Basically, I was doing everything to make it as easy for them as possible, while not being over it myself.  
  
"Sidney, I'm worried about her." Hawkeye's voice came, an urgent whisper on the phone as I cooked breakfast in the kitchen early one morning. "She's never cried this hard before." I sobbed endlessly every time someone brought Adam up, and I hadn't touched any of the things I loved to do, sew, play the piano, have a tea party with Felicity, anything.  
  
I had a huge empty hole inside me. I didn't mean the slowly retreating cavity where the baby had grown, I meant the desire to hold Adam, to love my baby. It hurt to think, to see my other children, to laugh, everything I did made my heart ache. Even living itself was painful.  
  
"No, this is harder than with Jack." Hawkeye said. "You didn't see how hard she cried when she miscarried back in Korea did you? No, but that was pretty hard too, but this is worse than anything I've ever seen from her, and I am actually worried about her." I was chopping something, and I slipped, the sharp knife slicing my finger.  
  
"I don't know Sidney. . ." I stopped listening as I studied the scarlet fluid on my fingertip. I turned the knife slowly in my hand, studying the glint of the silver blade stained by my blood.  
  
I pushed my sleeve off my wrist and studied the veins visible through my pale skin, I looked again at the knife. I knew where to cut, how to cut, and I wondered if two cuts to my wrists was the best way to end the pain I was in. Thoughtfully I tested the blade against my skin, not enough to draw blood, but enough to hurt.  
  
I'd come to my decision, I'd do it, I needed to, everything else hurt too much. Taking the knife with me, I headed into the bathroom, and sat in the empty bath. I paused for a second to offer a loving prayer to my children, husband, and siblings. Then with determination, I put the blade of the knife, warmed a little by my blood, at the precise angle for the best incision to my wrist and said goodbye to the pain.  
  
A/N I know just how much you hate cliff hangers, so the more reviews I get, the sooner you'll find out if Anne's okay. (I don't usually blackmail, I'm just grumpy today) Hey, you might even get smut if the chapters are good enough. (Okay I sound like Assilem now!!) 


	18. June to November 1957: Little One

A/N: Thanks to Tessa, Jennifer and Melitami for the reviews on the last chapter. Beatrice, thankyou for your reviews on the earlier chapters, I seem to have neglected to thank you! Also overdue thanks owed to Karen, Ela and Satan's Apprentice, for reviews on my other fics. You guys make it worth writing! Here as promised is the answer to the question on all of your minds did Annie really do it? (And hey, there's even some gentle smut)  
  
June - November 1957  
  
I took a deep breath and prepared to push the knife into my wrist. Suddenly I heard the unmistakeable cry of a newborn baby. Dropping the knife, my wrist unscathed, I dashed out to track the source of the noise, it seemed to be coming from the front porch.  
  
"You hear that?" Hawkeye had left the phone hurriedly. I nodded, wondering what it was.  
  
"I'll see, you take Jess before she wakes Dad." Daniel had been working late and he was still asleep, but Jess's calls were ringing through the whole house. So Hawkeye headed for the stairs, and I headed for the door.  
  
I unlocked and opened the door, I looked down, a frilly baby basket was on the doorstep, with a brown paper bag, like one you'd receive from the grocery store.  
  
"Oh my goodness, hello Little One, what brings you here?" I didn't worry about where the baby had come from yet, just that it was crying and needed comfort.  
  
"Well, well, well Little One, you've got a note too. I wonder why your mummy picked this house." I had become automatically attached to the baby, knowing that it was only as old as my little Adam would have been.  
  
"Adam?" Jess queried as Hawkeye brought her downstairs. I gave him a look silently berating him for bringing Jess, to which he gave me a helpless one, he later explained that Jess wasn't going to sit quietly in her playroom.  
  
"No Baby, this isn't Adam, he's in Heaven, remember that. This is another baby."  
  
"Who?" Jess asked as Hawkeye put her on the porch swing and picked up the note.  
  
"Lily and Tom's, here listen." Hawkeye started to read the note to me.  
  
"Dear Anne and Hawkeye. The baby you've found is our daughter Lydia Adrienne, she was born on June 12. Tom and I left Portland when I was 4months pregnant and we live in South Portland, but we cannot look after a baby properly. So I asked my friend to leave her on your doorstep. I know your baby is due soon, but please, take Lydia in and raise her. There are some clothes in the bag with her. Look after her as though she was your own, let her call you Mummy and Daddy. When we return to Portland in two weeks, we will sign the adoption papers. Please do not tell Mum, I want to do that myself. See you soon, all our love, Lily and Tom."  
  
"Well Little One, how about we go inside and have some breakfast?" I carried her into the house, Hawkeye ushering Jess inside before picking up her basket and the paper bag of clothes.  
  
"My, my, my. What have we here?" Daniel smiled as I sat down, my beautiful niece/daughter in my hands. She was asleep, her creamy skin the smooth colour of light coffee. Tom was Asian, and though I had not been told from where, I suspected his family was one that had fled South K to avoid the fighting.  
  
"I just found out why Lily and Tom ran away. This is my niece Lydia." The baby opened her chocolate eyes and yawned, a silky ebony fuzz on her scalp.  
  
"She's beautiful, may I?" I didn't want to let the baby go, but Daniel had already gently pried her from my hands, and checked her over.  
  
"She's a perfectly healthy week-old girl, what's happening?" Daniel asked, laying her in her basket.  
  
"We're keeping her." Hawkeye and I answered together, without even an eye conversation.  
  
"Where is Lily?" Daniel asked, not having read the note.  
  
"South Portland, done a great hiding job, she had us convinced she'd left Maine. But she's coming down soon to sort out an adoption." I replied. Upstairs, I heard the kids begin to wake.  
  
"I'd better finish breakfast." I said, lifting the basket and carrying her into the kitchen, I remembered what I had been doing, chopping an apple for Jess. I looked for the knife, and found none, realising with a start where it was.  
  
"Goodness Little One, you don't know how important you are. If you hadn't cried when you did, I would've done one of the stupidest things I've ever done." I said, retrieving and washing the knife. I resumed chopping.  
  
"This is Lydia, she's your Aunt Lily's baby, but we're looking after her for a while." I explained to my four kids.  
  
"Not a boy, I want a bro. Like Adam." Ben said.  
  
"I know sweetheart, and maybe you might have that brother one day." I smiled. I noticed Hawkeye's eyes light up at that. "But maybe not for a couple of years." I stressed.  
  
"How long she be here?" Felicity asked.  
  
"We don't know." I replied. They were all taking the news very well. I guess it was the prospect of the baby not yet being a permanent fixture.  
  
Lily came down two weeks later as she promised, she had not yet told Mum about her daughter. Tom was with her, and when they arrived in Portland the first thing Mum did was scold them both furiously.  
  
"I can't believe you just ran away and eloped like that, whatever put such an irresponsible idea in your head?" She scolded, hugging first Lily and then a surprised Tom. I was watching from a distance but still able to hear every word, Mum not knowing I had come, and I cradled Lydia carefully.  
  
"I'm sorry Mum, I really am." Lily said, spotting me, holding her baby, "Annie, is here, and she has the reason why I left." She beckoned to me, and taking a deep breath I approached Mum, Lily and Tom.  
  
"Mum, I was four months pregnant when I left, this is my daughter Lydia Adrienne. . ." at this point she paused, thoughtfully "Pierce, Lydia Adrienne Pierce. I can't look after her, so Annie will adopt her. It's also perfect timing, as I know Annie was expecting." Lily said.  
  
"What you left her on the doorstep?" Mum said. Lily's face reddened. "You did? I can't believe you Lillian Mary Beresford!" Mum was truly apoplectic now.  
  
"Mum, settle down, you're making a huge scene. As parents it's Tom's and my responsibility to see that our daughter is brought up in the best way possible in a loving environment, we couldn't do that, we can barely support ourselves, so we're doing our best to see that she gets what she deserves." Lily argued.  
  
"Tom, Lily, Mum, let's go, we'll go sit on the beach and have a talk." I said, shifting Lydia to the other arm so I could take Mum's arm and gently lead her out of the train station.  
  
Mum calmed down after that, and understood Lily's point, and was very fond of her granddaughter. Lily and Tom were told about Adam and saw it as an even better reason for Hawkeye and I to raise the baby and much red tape and paperwork later, I was the official mother of my daughter Lydia Adrienne Pierce.  
  
"Listen darlings, you know how I said Lydia was staying with us for a few weeks?" I received four pairs of eyes trained on my face. "Well Lydia is staying with us for always, she's your sister now."  
  
"Why?" Felicity asked.  
  
"Because Princess, Mummy and Daddy signed some paper to say that we'd look after Lydia."  
  
"But she Lily's." Ben said curiously.  
  
"Aunty Lily and Uncle Tom said that Daddy and I could look after her." This time April, with her usual stammering asked why and I handed it over to Hawkeye.  
  
"Because, Aunty Lily and Uncle Tom couldn't look after Lydia when she was born. Aunty Lily was very sick, so they said that they want us to be Lydia's Mummy and Daddy instead." Hawkeye fabricated.  
  
"Th-th-that n-n-nice." April said.  
  
"Yep, sure it is Angel-face, and just because there's a new baby, it doesn't mean that I love you any less."  
  
"Moe?" Jess asked, it meant more.  
  
"Yes Baby, I love you all more!" I smiled, hugging Jess closely. I then hugged all my kids, babying them and spoiling them. It still hurt that Adam had died, but I had my 'Little One' Lydia, whom I loved very much, and was able to care for her as I would for Adam.  
  
It was surprising how quickly things went after that, weeks flew by summer was over and it was getting into November. The twins were 3½ and more cheeky than ever, April was just 2½ and looking more and more like Nora every day, Jess was 17 months, and just about running, so we put gates at the top and bottom of the stairs to prevent accidents with her and Lydia, who was already able to shuffle around on her belly.  
  
"Baby, it's not the end of the world!" I said, listening to a thoroughly incoherent Jess wail as I tried to soothe her.  
  
"Mummy. . ." Jess's normally clear voice was lost in a wave of sobs and babbling.  
  
"Okay you three, what's going on?" I came upstairs to the playroom, leaving a sobbing Jess with Dad. She and Daniel had a very tight bond, and she'd often prefer his company to that of her parents.  
  
"Jess hit me!" Ben said indignant, his 3-year-old pride dinted by the fact that a smaller sister had hit him.  
  
"Why?" April was minding her business in the corner, and I knew it was between Hawkeye's and my children.  
  
"We want Bluey!" Felicity said. "So we take him." She concluded with an air of self-righteousness.  
  
"You know that Bluey is Jess's special teddy, just like Otis is yours, and Harold is Ben's."  
  
"T-T-Toby!" April squeaked suddenly.  
  
"And Toby belongs to April. If you want to play with Bluey you have to ask her."  
  
"We did!" Ben said.  
  
"And what did she say?"  
  
"No!"  
  
"Well then Benjamin Franklin, if she said no, it meant no." I often called him Benjamin Franklin, even though his name was Benjamin Jack. There was no particular reason, just a bad habit I guess.  
  
"But I said please and all!" Ben said.  
  
"We did!" Felicity echoed.  
  
"But she said no! You tried to take it from her then didn't you?"  
  
"It was Lyssa's idea." Ben sulked.  
  
"I don't care if it WAS Felicity's idea, you shouldn't have tried to take Bluey." Bluey was a particular favourite belonging to Jess.  
  
"But then she hit!" Ben stubbed at the carpet with his toes.  
  
"And you hit her didn't you?" Ben nodded. "Well, I'm very ashamed of you, hitting your sister like that, I want you to go sit in your room until I've finished cooking dinner!"  
  
"Mummy!" Ben protested.  
  
"Benjamin Franklin Pierce, go!" I ordered, rasing my voice for probably the first time ever. He stomped out, and went into the pale green room where he slept.  
  
"Now, as for you Felicity, if you told Ben to take Bluey, you should have known better! You can go and sit in your bedroom too! Don't argue missy, get!"  
  
"But I do nothing!" She protested.  
  
"Did you tell Ben to take Bluey?" Her face reddened and she nodded. "Well, then go! Felicity, I'm waiting." She stood defiantly, refusing to go. "Felicity Margaret, I'm going to count to five and if you're not in your room, you'll be in a lot of trouble. One . . . Two . . .Three . . . Four . . ." Felicity still stood there, arms crossed. "Five! Let's go missy!" I picked her up and none too ceremoniously put her in her room. "Now you can just stay there until I've finished cooking dinner." I closed the door behind me, returning to April who was still happily playing at tea party.  
  
"I-I-I very sorry Mummy, I b-b-bad." When talking in full sentences, April only stuttered on the first and last word, leaving us hoping that she'd outgrow it.  
  
"No Angel, you weren't bad, you were good today. Would you like to play with Lyddie downstairs?" I smiled at the very enthusiastic answer. "Okay, let's go." Lydia had been in the playpen downstairs, and I knew it would be pretty safe to leave the 5mo infant with her loving older sister.  
  
"Goodness, what a happy picture!" Hawkeye said sarcastically. I'd given the kids dinner early, as Hawkeye and I were having a night out. Ben and Felicity ate in sullen silence, April poked at her meal with distaste, Jess was still miffed about the bear-napping, and Lydia rather grumpily tried to rid herself of colic while I rubbed her belly.  
  
"We have two misbehaving, and confined to their quarters twins, Felicity's in there until bedtime too, for resisting arrest shall we say. April just doesn't want to eat, Jess is upset about the injustice she underwent, and Lyddie has colic, she drank too fast." I explained.  
  
"I'll see what I can do for April." Hawkeye sat down with her, while I kept rubbing Lydia's sore, bloated belly. A few minutes later, he'd coaxed her to eat, made Jess laugh and helped me clean up the milky vomit that Lydia brought up on my front.  
  
"Thankyou honey, I couldn't manage without you." I smiled as he fixed my hair.  
  
"I know you couldn't, but I couldn't manage without you." He admitted, kissing me behind my ear. I turned around and locked lips with him. However I pulled back before it got too heated.  
  
"Save something for later." I smiled, kissing him one last time. We went into town and had a really nice child-free evening. Don't get me wrong, we loved our children, adopted or otherwise, but we valued the very special 'couple' time that we so rarely got. Later we went for a drive, Hawkeye pulling up in one of the hottest make-out points in town, but as it was a weeknight, it was empty except for another car several feet away.  
  
"Hawkeye, what'd you bring me here for?" I asked, as he 'yawned' and casually put an arm around my shoulder. I leaned into his embrace, enjoying the unspoken teen role-play.  
  
"What? Is there something wrong, would you prefer the backseat?"" Hawkeye asked with a devilish smile.  
  
"No, I like it up front with you." We laughed at the over-used joke. "And as much as I love the whole irresponsible teen act we're playing at, there is one bit of irresponsibility I want nothing to do with. I don't want to get pregnant just yet Hawk." I had recovered from Adam's death and was not ruling out the idea of more, in a few years time.  
  
"I stopped at the drugstore on my way back, don't worry." He replied, "Now shall we climb in back?" This was something he'd done many a time, but a first for me, and I nearly got injured in the process. Much laughing later, I fell over the seat, landing heavily on Hawkeye.  
  
"Someone's feeling aggressive tonight aren't they?" Hawkeye laughed. I pushed myself into a sitting position and studied the bruise on my thigh where I had banged it on the seat on the way over.  
  
"Ow." I muttered, rubbing it ruefully. Hawkeye laughed again, running a hand over the bruise. "I love you so much Hawkeye." I said, leaning in to kiss him. He had intended the touch to be caring and sexual, and it passed both categories with flying colours.  
  
"And baby I love you too. How'd you manage to make such a mess of getting into the back?"  
  
"Hawkeye, I've never been in the backseat of a car in this sense before." I explained, shifting myself into a more comfortable position. Hawkeye took full advantage of that as it gave him access to the buttons on my dress.  
  
"This little piggy went to market." Hawkeye recited the poem I'd say when playing with Lydia's toes as he undid each button. I laughed as Hawkeye's hands slid inside my clothes. I lay back, quite happy to be the submissive partner, and I let Hawkeye kiss and touch me wherever he wanted. Besides, I knew there'd be plenty of time later on to get my revenge.  
  
"I'm just so glad you didn't let someone take you in the back of a car, not the way to do it." Hawkeye breathed.  
  
"Mmm?" I replied a little sleepily. We were in the backseat still, a blanket over us.  
  
"I'm just so glad you didn't let someone, even myself take you in the back of a car." He repeated. I sat up a bit, pushing him off me just a little.  
  
"I'm glad too, but why do you say that?"  
  
"Because it would have been far less special for both of us. You see, it was really something for me knowing that I was the only person to touch you that way."  
  
"Yeah, I see your point. I thought you would be the only one too, but I didn't foresee a few things."  
  
"Like?" Hawkeye asked.  
  
"Like the POW camp, we all know what happened there. And Charles, how do you think April got into the world? And BJ, well if Margaret had been thirty seconds slower, it would've been too late to stop."  
"So, tell me honestly, what were they like?" Hawkeye asked with a gleam in his eyes.  
  
"Who?" I queried innocently, even thought I knew whom he meant full well.  
  
""BJ, Charles, I want to know what they had that I didn't."  
  
"Feeling inadequate are we?" Hawkeye merely responded with a murderous glare. "Okay, okay, the POW camp was horrible, I was the private comfort girl as such for the CO of the place. That still gives me nightmares, having to lie there, hearing his breath in my ear, and not being able to do a damned thing because I was in so much pain, and I'm not just talking about my shoulder."  
  
"I'd kill him if I got half the chance! Now, do tell, what about my bunkmate who was able to tell so many wonderful dirty stories?"  
  
"BJ, well, I'm not so sure he was the one telling the stories so much as hearing them." I smiled. "He knew precisely, exactly down to the finest detail what was the right way to touch me, or how to do something. I'm sure you'd been telling him a few secrets. Now as for Charles, well, he's very sweetly passionate, a little shy almost."  
  
"Charles, shy?" Hawkeye found this a riot.  
  
"Yes, very gentlemanly. Never did anything I felt uncomfortable with." I said, remembering days with such clarity that they seemed like they'd only been a matter of hours before.  
  
"We'd better get back, Dad and Mrs O are going to start wondering where we are." Hawkeye said. I realised that he was right. Even though they both knew, and accepted that we were adults, they didn't like us coming back late, as it often disturbed them or the kids.  
  
"Well, I guess you're right, but do you think they can wait a bit longer?" I asked, dragging Hawkeye back down.  
  
"They can wait." Hawkeye replied, pushing my skirt up above my waist at the same time.  
  
"Shoot, I dropped the keys!" Hawkeye and I bent down, groping blindly in the dark for the keys.  
  
"That's NOT the keys!" I yelped a second later. Hawkeye laughed and removed his hand.  
  
"Come on, come around the side, the laundry should be unlocked." We gave up on the keys, walking around and finding the laundry locked for once.  
  
"Dad's room will be open, he always liked a breeze." I said taking Hawkeye's hand. We went back around to Daniel's room, I was right, the window was open.  
  
"I'll get in and go unlock the door." I offered. I slipped in the window, and realised that Daniel's bed was empty. Shrugging I tiptoed out into the hall and unlocked the door from the inside.  
  
"Shh!" Hawkeye put a finger to his lips, listening carefully. I listened too.  
  
"Hawkeye and Annie are real late aren't they?" Mrs O's voice came from the living room.  
  
"Don't worry Edna, let the kids have their fun." Daniel replied.  
  
"I just sure hope they're okay. My Walter never was real streetwise." Hawkeye and I peeked in the door, to see Daniel and Mrs O snuggled on the sofa, extremely cosily.  
  
"Hawkeye knows what he's doing, and Annie packs a punch when she wants." Daniel said, snuggling closer against his wife. He kissed her cheek and at that point Hawkeye and I made a quiet, hasty exit to our room.  
  
"Give me a hand here, I'm going to move Lydia into the study." Hawkeye helped me move the crib. Jess was still in the nursery, but she'd soon have a room upstairs as all it needed was for the paint to dry and then Lydia would have her room. I knew what sharing a room was like, and I wanted our kids to have separate rooms, and as there was plenty of unfinished attic, it was possible providing I had no more than four other kids, and that was unlikely.  
  
"Sweet dreams my Little One." I kissed her little face and returned to the main room.  
  
"Now as for you Hawkeye . . ." I peeled off my dress, to discover my underwear was still in the backseat of the car. I crawled from the end of the bed up to Hawkeye, positioning myself carefully over him. He kissed me and pulled me down.  
  
A few days later Mrs O was talking with a definite air of conspiracy to Colonel Potter. I knew what was going on, and had the same conspiring smugness my mother-in-law had.  
  
"It's all set." She said hanging up the phone.  
  
"Wonderful Mrs O!" I smiled. "You know how to talk to people."  
  
"With a boy like my Walter, I learnt to approach him about anything." She replied. It didn't make a whole lot of sense, but I figured with someone as shy as Radar, you'd have to know how to bring up delicate subjects.  
  
"Well would you two ladies kindly tell me what's going on?" Daniel demanded. Hawkeye echoed his father.  
  
"Just one gosh darn minute Daniel Julius Pierce! We ain't spilling no beans until we have our Princess's approval of this!" She caught my daughter as she ran through and whispered something to her. I knew she was only doing it to stretch things out and I decided to play along.  
  
"Hold your horses Benjamin Franklin Pierce, nothing's going ahead until my Benny tells me what he thinks of it." I grabbed Ben as he passed and sat him on my knee. After receiving a very positive answer from him, and Felicity, Mrs O and I shared glances, we couldn't hold back much longer.  
  
"Okay, this Christmas the nine of us are going west to Hannibal. The Potter's kids are elsewhere this year, and they want some company. Radar and his family will be there too, we'll get to meet Marcia and Monica." Identical twin girls had arrived in the O'Reilly home in late July and though Mrs O had gone over to see her family, none of the other Pierces had met the newest arrivals.  
  
"How are we getting there?" Hawkeye asked validly. With four adults and five children from 5 to 42 months things would be interesting.  
  
"We're driving." I replied. "Dad and Mrs O will go in Dad's car with the twins and Jess and we'll have April and Lydia in ours. It'll be a very long trip, but we'll be okay."  
  
"How long is long?" Daniel asked with good reason.  
  
"Portland to Hannibal non-stop is 2 days, leave Sunday morning, arrive Monday night, but we'll probably have to stretch it to three or four to allow for rest stops."  
  
"Sounds great! When do we leave?" Hawkeye said.  
  
"Well the Potters said as soon as we're ready, so Daniel, however long it takes for you and Hawkeye to arrange your patients, we can go."  
  
"I can have them all rescheduled and transferred to Portland by Friday." Daniel said. Hawkeye agreed then.  
  
"Well, Mrs O, anything we should know about?"  
  
"No, the sooner I get to see my Walter, the better." She smiled.  
  
"Great, we leave 8am Saturday morning and we're going to arrive say, 7pm Tuesday." I said cheerfully. And it was set, we were going west for Christmas. 


	19. Christmas 1957: Christmas At The Potters

A/N: I'm not guaranteeing that my distances between cities is right. I had to convert from kilometres to miles.  
  
Christmas1957  
  
I turned around in the seat to see Lydia, she was yelling, demanding her bottle.  
  
"Shh Little One, your bottle is coming," We were going to stop in half an hour for lunch and to let the kids stretch. I rummaged around in my bag and came out with a pacifier. Lydia was happy to suck it for five minutes before she let out another yell and all the coaxing in the world couldn't quiet her.  
  
"Anne, can't you please get her to be quiet?" Hawkeye begged. The constant noise of the two girls had been grating on his nerves ever since 8 when we'd left Portland 5 hours before.  
  
"Hawkeye, settle down, we're almost there." I said, trying to soothe my youngest daughter. But even Lydia's crying and April's constant chatter was beginning to get to me too.  
  
Daniel and Mrs O got out of the car, looking shell-shocked. The twins having tired of reading peacefully after two hours, had asked 'are we there yet?' repeatedly for the next three hours. Hawkeye dashed into the diner for a coffee, and I let April out of the car. She, Jess and the twins headed straight for the playground. Lydia began sucking on her bottle hungrily.  
  
"Here we are, four coffees, all strong black." Now all of us liked our coffees white and with varying degrees of sweetness, but we were so desperate for a pick me up.  
  
"I am so tired." I muttered, in the last three minutes of travel, Lydia's crying had upped several decibels to a truly deafening volume and my head was ringing.  
  
"Well if you hadn't been up until 2am at it like rabbits, you might have had more sleep."  
  
"Dad! It couldn't have been 2am, only . . . 1.30!" I protested. Hawkeye and I had agreed we weren't going to do anything more than cuddle at the Potters, so we had spent several hours the previous night rather vigorously making up for the weeks we'd miss.  
  
"Definitely 2am, and what do you do to him? It sounds like you half-kill him." Daniel said. "I could hear him very clearly and the conclusion I've drawn is you know something pretty good."  
  
"Well," I pretended to fake modesty. "It's just a very simple case of. . ." Hawkeye put a hand over my mouth.  
  
"Little pitchers have big ears." He said, motioning to Lydia who had fallen asleep quite happily and the other kids were racing around in the playground. I'd stop them soon for lunch but the more energy they burnt the better.  
  
"Hawkeye, you just don't want Dad to know that you're ticklish behind your knees." I laughed as Hawkeye tried to deny the fact to his laughing father, who knew anyway.  
  
"Well I'm sure you don't want him to know that kissing your belly button makes you. . ."  
  
"Hawkeye!" I didn't even get to cut him off. Daniel jumped on top of me. "There are just some things I don't need to know, and Annie's erogenous zones are one of them!" Hawkeye shut up then.  
  
We had lunch after that and we soothed all the kids off to sleep and continued the very long drive. They slept for three hours, which was great, and even better they were happy with a snack in the backseat until 7 and by then we were stopping as I needed a latrine visit, and everyone was starting to think about food.  
  
"I'll drive, you sleep." I ordered. Hawkeye didn't argue, he was beat. Since leaving 12 hours ago, we'd covered about 200 miles, to Utica with two noisy girls in the back. I started the engine while Hawkeye promptly fell asleep.  
  
My eyes were raw, and I was tired as the sun rose behind us. It was 10am and I'd driven for fourteen hours non-stop except for a coffee break. I'd covered nearly 250 miles and we were just near Pittsburgh. Our planned route with other stops mid-way was Portland, Utica, Pittsburgh, Columbus, Indianapolis, Decatur, and finally Hannibal.  
  
My first response when we stopped was a dash to the toilet and then to fall asleep in the backseat of Daniel and Mrs O's car while they got the kids' breakfast. When I woke up some hours later, it was twilight, I'd slept through the whole day and we were stopping in Columbus for supper. We'd made good time and had covered another 250 miles, and had almost 400 to go.  
  
To accommodate me they'd moved Felicity and Ben into the car with Hawkeye, putting Lyss in the back with the other girls and Ben in his booster seat in the front. Jess had gone in the front seat in the front of Dad's car between him and Mrs O who was asleep after driving all night as well.  
  
"Did you know April will only be quiet if you say please, and Jess cries if you raise your voice, and Felicity can eat a whole packet of saltines in under ten minutes and that Ben learnt a new phrase?" Hawkeye, looking very stunned asked. He'd spent the better part of the day in company of most of his children and 7 or 8 hours in such a small space was tough, no matter how much you loved them.  
  
"Yes, April has impeccable manners, Jess is sensitive to noise and Felicity is a big eater if you don't watch her. What did Ben learn?" I asked, while the kids enjoyed their scrambled eggs from a short-order diner.  
  
"I love you." My heart melted as Hawkeye continued. "Which he repeated at the top of his lungs every minute for most of the day." I laughed at that.  
  
"Well, I got the easy shift, they slept most of last night."  
  
"Don't count on it, Lyddie slept from 2 until just now." Hawkeye warned with a smile. I ducked into the washroom after that and freshened up. A little while later we were back on the road, Hawkeye, Jess and Daniel asleep while Mrs O drove one car, and all the kids asleep while I drove the other.  
  
I drove from 8 till 4, into Indianapolis, but Mrs O and I were both too tired to keep driving so we pulled over and had a sleep ourselves. It was our third day of driving but with everyone beat it looked like we'd be driving for four.  
  
We woke serval hours later, with the kids' demands for breakfast. We got breakfast and made it to Decatur in time for lunch. After that we decided to take a brief detour south to Bloomington. There was a pretty special lady there, whom Hawkeye and I wanted to meet very much.  
  
After asking for directions a few dozen times, we managed to find the right house. It saddened me to se a young boy, maybe five playing in the front yard, making snowmen.  
  
"Andy?" I called, he looked up, his little face alight with the joy of his private game in the snow.  
  
"That's me ma'am Andrew Blake."  
  
"Well hi Andrew, is your Mummy around?" He nodded, light brown hair shining in the sun.  
  
"Sure, I'll go get her." He was off at once, running into the house and calling.  
  
"Yes, may I help you?"  
  
"Lorraine Blake?" She nodded, wrapping her arms around herself.  
  
"That's me, listen you must be freezing, come on in, and bring your kids and whoever else is with you." We made our way into the house, April falling for Lorraine in the process.  
  
"I'm Annabelle Pierce, this is my husband Benjamin, my father-in-law Daniel and his wife Edna. These are my kids Ben, Felicity, April, Jessica and Lydia. I knew your husband when he was in Korea he was the CO of my unit, he may have written you of me. I was Annabelle Dawson back then though." I explained.  
  
"Annabelle." Lorraine said thoughtfully. "Dawson, you were Belle, his girl Belle!"  
  
"Yeah, that was me, he had that weird pet name." I hoped Lorraine wasn't going to get upset by that.  
  
"Never mind, you were like a daughter to him he wrote about you all the time, and you must be Hawkeye."  
  
"The one and only!"  
  
"Thank goodness for that!" I laughed. "Anyhow Lorraine, we were passing through, we're on our way to visit some friends in Missouri and we thought we'd drop by, we really wanted to meet you. Henry was very important to us." I explained.  
  
"I understand, you look like you haven't had a proper meal or shower in days, make yourselves at home." I gave the obligatory mild protest, but gave in, we wee staying for dinner and a hot shower, and then we'd drive on, arriving in Hannibal early next morning.  
  
"Thanks so much Lorraine." We'd had a great evening, remembering the man who'd been so important to us. His children were beautiful too, and I was very sad to see how much Andy looked like his Dad.  
  
"Take car!" We drove off, we'd gone back to the original seating plan, and the kids, with full bellies and well relaxed from a long hot bath slept.  
  
I turned down the long drive driveway, the sun was just rising, and we were finally in Hannibal. As we drove up to the house, I started tooting the horn loudly, and Mildred appeared on the front steps in her robe.  
  
"Come on in! It's so good to see you all again!" Mildred practically dragged us into the house, however we were too tired to even have a drink and we all fell into our respective beds, and didn't stir until lunchtime, 5 hours later.  
  
"Papa!" I shrieked, throwing myself at him. He hugged me tightly, even lifting me off the ground as he did so.  
  
"Well, isn't it just the high point of my day to see how well you're doing!" He kissed my cheek as he set me down.  
  
"Lunch is ready!" Mildred called, and we sat down to a delicious meal.  
  
"Oh Radar, they're just beautiful!" Hawkeye said as the tiny dark-haired baby was placed in his arms.  
  
"Oh my goodness, you are just perfect! Congratulations Monica, Radar, both of you!" I had the other baby.  
  
"Well now, Lydia's pretty sweet." Monica said, bouncing my infant daughter on her knees.  
  
"She is isn't she?" I agreed..  
  
"But she don't look much like you." Radar observed, and we filled them in on the story of Adam and Lydia. After lunch we were taken on a tour of the farm, and before long, we found we were settling in as though we'd been there all our lives.  
  
I woke with a groan as Colonel Potter shook me gently. Beside me Hawkeye shifted a little and kept on sleeping.  
  
"Papa, what? In your words, it's gotta be 0200 in the blessed am!"  
  
"No Annie, 5am, I'm going riding today, don't expect to be back until suppertime, do you want to come?" I yawned. A whole day in the saddle. . . or another few hours in bed? I sat up agreeing tiredly to come.  
  
"Well be dressed and in the kitchen soon, Mildred's cooking us one mighty big breakfast."  
  
"Shut up before I'm forced to remove your eyeballs through your nostrils." Hawkeye complained. Colonel Potter left hurriedly while I made my way to the bathroom.  
  
A short while later, Mildred saw us off with as much food as we could carry. Colonel Potter on his mare Belle, and myself on a grey mare named Dolly. He took me around the fields first, checking on the few horses and other livestock and letting me get used to Dolly's gait.  
  
""Come and have a look at this." Colonel Potter called. I put my heels into Dolly and she broke into a trot. I gave a gasp, we were on a small hill, and in the valley below the sun was beginning to rise over the frosty fields, causing the ice to sparkle. We sat for a while soaking it in, until the horses got restless and we kept going.  
  
"Anne, can I tell you something in confidence?" He asked after lunch, we were just beginning to head back.  
  
"Sure Papa, anything." I brought Dolly forward so the two horses rode abreast.  
  
"Well, I'm not so young as I used to be. It's not so easy to get into the saddle on cold mornings anymore, hurts like when the laundry ladies used too much blessed starch. My knuckles are stiff, and my breathing ain't what it used to be, I cough so easily now. Anne, I think I'm getting old."  
  
"Papa, don't think that way, you're only as old as you feel." I said gently.  
  
"That's easy for a little bitty girl of 31 like you to say. But I'm not 31 anymore, come April, I'll be 65, I'll have been a surgeon for 45 years, and a part of the army for 55. That ain't so young now is it?"  
  
"No, it isn't Papa."  
  
"Talk like the locals, I love to hear your beautiful manners and grammar, but it would do an old man good to hear the way his kids talk again, the kids who couldn't even come to see him on what may be his last Christmas." Now he was getting melancholy and I let go of Dolly's reins so I wouldn't pull unreasonably hard in my almost-fury.  
  
"Papa! Don't you dare think that way! This ain't gonna be your last Christmas, sure maybe you ain't so young as you used to be, but that don't mean nothing Papa! The only thing that's making you feel so darn old right now is your mind Papa, don't let that get the better of you. I can see it Papa, at heart you're still a young man just don't you dare think that you're gonna curl up your toes and die on us!" I lapsed into a mid-west accent, and was surprised how easy I found it.  
  
He was silent for a good half hour after that, musing on what I'd just said, and occasionally he'd mutter a few words under his breath, and start to say something before cutting himself off and falling silent. Once or twice I'd hear a choked sob, and glance back quickly, but he'd look away, not meeting my gaze.  
  
"Annie?" He said at last. I turned my head, he'd stopped Belle, and was dismounting. I followed suit with Dolly.  
  
"Yes Papa?" I said, once I was on the ground. He took a deep breath.  
  
"I knew you had fire in you, and I'm glad for it, you told me exactly what I needed to hear. Thankyou." I replied in my normal voice.  
  
"Papa, you're like a father to me, you needed to be told, so I told you. I love you Papa, and I'm not going to just let you lay down and die, I'm not going to let you give up!" He surprised me then my giving me the biggest, tightest hug he'd ever given me.  
  
"You're like a daughter to me, the concern I developed for you, the first time I saw you was definitely paternal. It was great to watch you grow, and now I'm glad I had you and Margaret as my daughters. You were the little touch of home, the way she babied me, and the way you were you. You kept me going there, and you're keeping me going here. I'm not giving up, so what if arthritis is giving the old knuckles a bit of grief? So what if I can't get into the saddle as easily, I'm lucky I can still get in the saddle!"  
  
"Exactly Papa! It's so good to hear you talking this way!" I laughed.  
  
"Come on, we've got us a few more miles to cover before we get home." He and I remounted, letting the horses find their own slow way back. Once we were in the field closest to the house, we kicked them up, enjoying the brief wild ride through the snow and racing each other home.  
  
"Have a good day?" Hawkeye queried with a smile as I dismounted, I wrapped my arms around him and kissed my reply. "That's a yes! I should make you have more fun days like whatever happened out there if it puts you in this good a mood! What say we take this elsewhere?" He started to press kisses on my neck and face.  
  
"Hawkeye! Potters!" I hissed in his ear. He cooled down at once. If I was Colonel Potter's daughter, then Hawkeye was his son, and like most parents, Colonel Potter didn't want to know about his "children's" sex lives.  
  
"Come on in, we've had a big day, the kids helped make cookies!" Mildred smiled. "And did you know Felicity can eat 3 ounces of cookie dough?" I laughed. When our eldest daughter got bored, she ate; packs of saltines were her favourite. However she seemed to be like me, I ate whatever I wanted and rarely put on an ounce for it.  
  
"Do we have one sick daughter?" I smiled as I entered the kitchen.  
  
"No, she threw up behind the barn when I took her for a walk, but she's been fine ever since." Monica said. I laughed at that. We sat down to a big meal, with heaps of cookies.  
  
"Mummy, Daddy, wake up, see what Nanna and Grandpa give me!" Felicity ran into our room at about 6am, on Christmas morning. All our kids called Mildred and the Colonel Nanna and Grandpa.  
  
"What Princess, let me see, oh, isn't that pretty!" I sat up, she was displaying a light pink sundress. "Did you say thankyou?"  
  
"Course! Mummy, come see what Ben got, Daddy wake up!" Hawkeye and I dragged ourselves out of bed and joined the present giving. The kids were suitably spoiled with the adults receiving simpler, meaningful gifts.  
  
"You were very lucky today Angel-face, did you say thankyou to Nanna and Grandpa?" Hawkeye asked sitting the 30mo on his lap.  
  
"T-th-thankyou!" April squeaked.  
  
"Anytime Angel-eyes! I still can't believe how much of a Winchester she is." Colonel Potter said.  
  
"I know, she's nothing like me!" I agreed. April was a beautiful girl, had perfect manners, sweet, pretty, demure, maternal, and seemed very well suited to the Winchester heritage that she was destined to.  
  
"What about Felicity hmm?" Hawkeye asked, I glanced at my daughter. In a thoughtful and deliberate imitation of me, she was rubbing the top of her cup with her chubby fingers, exactly the same way I caressed my coffee cup.  
  
"He's right Annie-ma'am, Felicity sure is the exact duplicate of you." Radar said.  
  
"And what about Eddie?" Radar's elder daughter was very shy, but very sweet, and was able to tell that Monica or Marcia were going to start crying before they did.  
  
"Walter, Edwina sure reminds me of you!" Mrs O put in, bouncing the girl in question.  
  
"Who does Jess take after?" Mildred asked, as my daughter fawned over Daniel.  
  
"All of Anne's best features, combined with my Mum's best features, she looks just like I remember her." Hawkeye said. "She loves music like Mum did and Annie does, what was it you said Annie, it was music or nursing and you couldn't afford music?"  
  
"More specifically I couldn't afford Julliard." I laughed, rocking a sleepy Lydia. "And this Little One, well, she's not really like anyone, there's nothing about her that resembles Lily."  
  
"Don't think I'm just saying this cause she's dark or nothing, but she sure looks like those real sweet kids that were all around in Korea." Radar told us.  
  
"Tom was Korean, his family fled the country back in 1950. He and Lily hooked up almost immediately, dunno how or why." I shrugged. "So you're right. She's Amerasian."  
  
"I still remember how mad you were when that baby was left on the Swamp's doorstep. We got to see everyone else's parental side, but the only thing we saw with you was your killer side. The first thing you wanted to do was get your hands on her mother, then on the people that wouldn't accept her half Yankee blood, you were insane!"  
  
"What did you do sir? I don't remember this." Radar asked.  
  
"It was after you went back home son. But once we'd subdued her enough to stop screaming I put her in a jeep and sent her to work at the orphanage for a week. Let her get in touch with reality, and there's nothing like good solid work to settle her." He reached across the table and squeezed my hand briefly.  
  
We spent the rest of the night comparing our children's similarities to their parents and other family members, and when they went to sleep, we stayed up and toasted everything we could think of, each other, our kids, our friendship, the fact we were in America again, our absent friends, everything. Not surprisingly, we also wound up a good bit tipsy.  
  
"Here's to sobriety!" Hawkeye held up his glass and hiccuped.  
  
"To sobriety? That's the funniest toast I ever heard!" I trailed of in a little giggle.  
  
"To sobriety and may the lord have mercy on our souls!" Colonel Potter added. We had another toast, laughed and sang some more, until it got quite late in the night, or early in the morning, and we decided it was about time to go to sleep.  
  
"Well this is one of the nicest Christmases I've had in a long time!" Mildred said.  
  
"Right back at you!" I smiled.  
  
"One last drink, and here's something very special to do it with." Colonel Potter produced 12-year-old scotch. He poured us all a drink and handed them out.  
  
"Merry Christmas to some of the most important people I'll ever know." He said. We smiled at each other, feeling safe, warm, loved, and damn lucky for what we had.  
  
"Merry Christmas!" We echoed touching our glasses together. 


	20. January to July 1958: Trying

A/N: Thanks to Satan's Apprentice and Hawkeye's Girl for their reviews on Chapter 4 of Regrets, up now! Also, sorry about the last chapter, it was kinda a dud I know. I also think it's about time I stuck a disclaimer on this, I don't own Hawkeye, BJ, Margaret, etc, they belong to whoever. Annie and the kids however are all mine!  
  
January - July 1958: Trying  
  
I gathered with the kids Daniel and Mrs O at the end of the bed. Hawkeye, blissfully unaware of anything else going on around him, slept in the bed. . "Shh. Are you ready?" I asked, I received whispered replies. "Ready, steady go!"  
  
"HAPPY BIRTHDAY!" We all threw ourselves onto his bed, and he woke with a start.  
  
"What? Where am I? Oh god, is it the 28th already?" He hugged everyone as well as he could manage.  
  
"Yep, 28th January 1958, your 36th birthday!" I laughed, leaning in for a kiss, which he was only to happy to give.  
  
"Yuck!" A little chubby hand pushed my face away from Hawkeye. "My turn!" Jess puckered up and accepted a kiss from her laughing father.  
  
"They don't like it very much when we kiss do they?" I observed.  
  
"Just jealousy honey, the fact that your eyes aren't on them, now what'd I get?" He clapped his hands like a small child when he began thinking about presents.  
  
"Hawkeye! Presents aren't everything. Besides honey, you know what you got." I whispered the last bit. As far as the kids were concerned, the watch Hawkeye had needed was a surprise. "Benny my boy, can you go and get the you-know-what for Daddy?"  
  
"Yep!" He slid off the bed and crawled under it. I laughed as I heard him scuffling and wrestling with various items, shoes, maternity clothes, my old army things, even Hawkeye's old army things. "Here!" He emerged triumphantly with a small wrapped box.  
  
"Thankyou Sport, girls, do you want to give Daddy his present?" Felicity and April gave him the box and Jess helped him in opening it.  
  
"Wow! Just what I wanted!" He feigned surprise as he opened it and saw the watch. "Thankyou, and you, and you, and you, and you, and you." He kissed all of the kids, including Lydia who happily sat on Mrs O's lap. "Thanks Dad, I know you're the one who paid for it. Thankyou Mrs O, I'll bet you helped him choose it. But most of all, thankyou my beautiful sexy wife, for being you and getting the kids to surprise me." He kissed me again, only to have it interrupted by Jess.  
  
"Well Hawkeye, it's time we went down for breakfast and then you my love, have to work." We got breakfast and saw the two men off. Mrs O and I were alone with the kids most of the day, and perfectly happy to be, we got on well as long as I never went near her cooking and she didn't interfere with my clean fetish, which we quite happily set about doing during naptime. Mrs O also worked at the clinic as a receptionist, and left me with the kids, and the arrangement suited us just fine.  
  
The men returned that night to a birthday dinner, and after the kids were asleep, their tummies full of Daniel's truly decadent chocolate cake (it seemed he had become very self-sufficient when Katharine died) Hawkeye and I decided on a little birthday celebration of our own.  
  
"Guess what baby, I stopped at the drugstore on the way back." Hawkeye told me, with a smile playing at his lips.  
  
"That's nice Ben dearest, but I really think you just wasted your money." I replied, watching with a smile at Hawkeye's blatant surprise.  
  
"What do you mean? You're not . . .?" He'd assumed I was pregnant.  
  
"No darling!" I laughed. "What I meant to say was I'm thinking we should have another baby."  
  
"Annie my one true love, what suddenly put that idea in your mind?"  
  
"Well, the older the twins get the harder it's going to be for them to get along with a baby, I've decided I miss being pregnant, and I'm not getting any younger you know."  
  
"You're just a little bitty girl, you're not even 32!" He picked me up suddenly and threw me onto the bed.  
  
"Okay you're not getting any younger! But I'm serious; I really think we should. We have plenty of room; we can move Lydia upstairs so the nursery's free. We can afford another child, we're a three-income household, and I'm starting at the hospital in just days that makes it four. And who knows, we might even get that boy we want." I was going to work Tuesday and Wednesday at Portland General under Margaret while one of the nurses was on leave to visit her sick father.  
  
"Well can we start trying now?" Hawkeye asked.  
  
"Sure!" I agreed, blushing when I realised how desperate I sounded. Hawkeye either didn't notice, or didn't care as he quite happily let me take charge.  
  
"Dad, Mrs O. . ." We'd decided to tell them about the planned baby.  
  
"Anne it sure is sweet how you call me Mrs O, but I been doing some real hard thinking. I ain't Mrs O no more, I'm Mrs Pierce so's I was thinking. . ."  
  
"You want us to call you Mrs P?" Hawkeye put in.  
  
"No, though that's a real sweet name too. I was thinking I'd sure be pleased if you'd call me Edna."  
  
"Anything for you Edna." I smiled. "Now, we've got some news for you that we want to get out of the way before we have the troupe descend on us again." Lydia and Jess were asleep, Ben was playing at the Harrison place and Charles had taken April and Felicity to the park to make the most of the brief warm spell in the January snow.  
  
"Do tell." Daniel instructed.  
  
"We've been thinking." I began.  
  
"More like doing." Hawkeye added and I smacked his shoulder warningly.  
  
"We've been thinking about having another baby." I finished  
  
"You have? I was hoping you'd do that! Means you'll catch up to my Walter!" Monica was pregnant again, and had been since October with twins and we were surprised, as Monica and Marcia were only 5 months old. It wasn't so much the pregnancy, Monica was a healthy young woman, so it was little shock that she conceived, but it was the fact that Radar, who used to be too embarrassed to even think about sex had to have been pretty busy.  
  
"I don't mind what you do as long as you produce another grandson." Daniel said. "But I'd love a granddaughter just as much. You have my blessing. Anne, you're perfectly healthy, go for it."  
  
"Thanks Dad, I'm so glad you think that way. Edna, you realise this will equal 12! 6 on each side." Walter Eugene Jr, Edwina Kate, Monica Dorothy, Marcia Nancy and the twins would make six for the O'Reillys plus Felicity Margaret, Benjamin Jack, April Emma-Rose, Jessica Katharine, Lydia Adrienne plus the baby was six for us also.  
  
"I don't have much choice do I? Knowing you two, you're probably expecting already!" Daniel laughed.  
  
"Dad shut up!" I hit him with a cushion.  
  
"Well you two treat this place like it's a brothel!" Daniel laughed. Mrs O hastily left, being not a whole lot different from her son.  
  
"You never told me it was a brothel, cause I'm a bit short of cash tonight." Hawkeye laughed,  
  
"Well you said those other girls were your sisters!" I replied smartly, bringing tears of laughter to Daniel's eyes.  
  
"You are the sweetest girl Anne, I love you to bits!" Daniel grabbed me around my middle. He picked me up, squeezed me tight to his chest and shook me, like the over-zealous embrace of a child and a teddy bear.  
  
"Unhand her you brute!" Hawkeye cried, while I demanded my freedom.  
  
"Never! The wench is mine!" My captor declared, tossing me over his shoulder. Probably the only thing I detested about being barely 5'2" and weighing a very healthy 120lbs, was that I was small enough for anyone, BJ, Radar, Dad, Hawkeye, or even Margaret to pick me up.  
  
"You vicious brute, unhand the damsel!" Hawkeye followed Daniel as he ran into the hall, just as Charles, April and Felicity were getting back.  
  
"I'm not even going to ask!" Charles said as Daniel put me down and my elder daughters demanded a cuddle.  
  
"It's probably better that you don't." I advised. "Did you have a good time at the park Angel-features?"  
  
"Y-y-yup, daddy buyed me a balloon, s-s-see?" She displayed the yellow balloon.  
  
"Uncle Charlie gotted me a balloon too!" Felicity showed me the pink balloon on the end of her string. The kids seemed to favour whatever colour their wardrobe predominantly was. Felicity liked pink, Ben liked blue, April liked yellow, Jess liked lilac and Lydia was well on the way to loving red. I noticed then that he had a red, a blue and a purple balloon too.  
  
"Charlie dear, you're such a sweet person, you should let people see that more often!" I took the balloons and tied them to the hatstand.  
  
"Well, Anne I don't want everyone seeing the weaker side of Charles Emerson Winchester the third!" He handed April to Dad who took her upstairs to have a nap.  
  
"Charlie dear, you're a pompous old git! Sweet dreams Princess." Felicity went with Hawkeye.  
  
"Well, you're nothing but a sweet little spitfire!" Charles retorted.  
  
"Come on, do you want to try and finish that piece I was teaching you?" In his visits, I taught Charles the piano.  
  
"Of course!" We went into the living room and sat down at the piano.  
  
It was warmed up a little in February, and even more through March with the coming of Spring. I'd just come back from my shift at Portland. I let myself into the clinic and found Daniel who was running a very specific test on me that day.  
  
"Sorry Anne, struck out again," He said softly. I glanced at Hawkeye, who was sitting on the exam table looking downcast. We'd been trying very hard to get pregnant, every night, and not always at night, but once again, there was nothing.  
  
"Anne, I won't let you just lie there." In our efforts to create a baby, sex had become meaningless, we didn't do it because we wanted to, but because we had to.  
  
"Hawkeye, we want this baby don't we?" I argued. "And this is a very bad time to make a decision like that."  
  
"Right," We finished up quickly, feeling absolutely nothing for it.  
  
"Why can't I get pregnant Hawkeye?" I asked softly.  
  
"Darling, I don't know. I honestly don't, you're perfectly healthy in absolutely every way. Some things just aren't meant to be. I guess this is one of them."  
  
"Yeah, I suppose so." I sighed, and rolled over, and went to sleep, feeling very downcast.  
  
"Sorry no luck." Daniel shook his head. It was just before April's 3rd birthday, and we were testing once a week in hope that I'd conceived during March. So far things weren't looking good.  
  
"Mummy, why are you crying?" Ben crawled up onto the porch swing beside me.  
  
"Because Benny-boy, Mummy and Daddy want to have a baby. But we can't."  
  
"Why?" His grey-blue eyes looked up at me soulfully with the compassion that his Daddy's eyes had.  
  
"We don't know." I put my arm around my little boy.  
  
"Well you want baby?" He asked.  
  
"Yes Sport, very much." I was surprised and then touched when he clasped his hands and closed his eyes, tilting his head upward.  
  
"Dear God, my Mummy is sad because she has no baby. Please give her a baby soon. Amen." I started to cry harder and scooped Ben onto my lap.  
  
"Thankyou honey, you're very sweet. Maybe God will give me a baby."  
  
"Mummy, is God real?" Ben asked. I paused for a minute. We attended the local Methodist church, all of us, even Hawkeye. It was strange for me, being born into Catholicism and now being part of a branch of the Protestant church, but I'd married into a Methodist family and so I now practised Methodism.  
  
"If you believe He is." I received a blank look. "If you think in here, and here that He is, then He will be." I touched Ben's head and chest as I spoke.  
  
"I think He is, and He will give you a baby." Ben said seriously.  
  
"Thankyou Ben darling, now shouldn't you be in bed?" I kissed his little face.  
  
"Daddy said come say goodnight to you. Lyssie was too tired, to say goodnight she fell asleep brushing her teeth."  
  
"Well, give me a kiss and a cuddle special boy." I hugged my four-year-old son tightly and he did the same, kissing me tenderly on the cheek. Hawkeye put his head out, and lifted the sleepy boy and took him to bed.  
  
"Thanks for getting them all down tonight Hawkeye." I said when he returned.  
  
"I am their daddy, it's my job!" He said, sitting down next to me, kissing the side of my head.  
  
"You're a great daddy, just the best influence on the kids. Little Ben is so sweet. You know he said a prayer for me to get pregnant just before?"  
  
"Did he? Well, I can't honestly say that that was my influence. And we'll find out tomorrow whether or not we're pregnant." He put his arm around me.  
  
"I really hope so, we've been trying so hard. I reckon if I'm not pregnant come my birthday, we call it quits for a while." Hawkeye agreed, cuddling me close and resting his cheek on my head.  
  
"Come on, let's go for a walk." We rugged up, called the dogs and headed out for a evening stroll.  
  
"Well?" I looked hopefully at Daniel. "Dammit, why can't I get pregnant?" I was verging on tears as Daniel told me yet again that I was not pregnant.  
  
"Some things just don't happen." Daniel said, giving me a comforting hug.  
  
"Thanks, I'd better get to work, I should have gone five minutes ago." I left and drove down to the hospital. Margaret met me at the door, wanting to hear the news.  
  
"Nothing again." I replied, going to the Nurses' change and finding my uniform.  
  
"I'm sorry to hear that Annie, now move it, you're late and I won't accept tardiness from my nurses!"  
  
"Yes ma'am." The direct instruction calmed me and I went to work.  
  
"Hawkeye, let's not try tonight. I couldn't." I said as I kicked off my blankets. Hawkeye followed suit it wasn't particularly warm in the May night but I figured we'd wind up using each other as blankets.  
  
"I couldn't either. We're just trying too hard. Have you ever noticed we had no plans to create a baby the other times? Irresponsibility, spontaneity and love are what gave us our children before, and what about April, how did she come about?"  
  
"Completely unplanned." I replied. "We just sort of, did it, and then April came about."  
  
"We're trying to plan our lives and so far everything else has been on impulse, so maybe we should leave it off for a while." I put my head on his chest and listened to his heartbeat, while gently rubbing my hand from his shoulder to his stomach.  
  
"In other words give up." I sighed, feeling absolutely miserable about it all.  
  
"That too." He said sadly. Feeling very sorry for ourselves, we went to sleep.  
  
"I'll get it!" I called, picking up the phone, and jamming under my ear while picking up Jess who was crying for some reason. There was no one else in the house to answer, but I still called out from force of habit.  
  
"Annie-ma'am, it's Radar, is Ma in?" Jess settled down as I patted her back.  
  
"No Radar, she's out somewhere, why?"  
  
"Tell her that Henry Edward and Shirley Jane were born today, 5lbs 3 and 5lbs 7. Shirley looks just like her!"  
  
"Oh Radar, that's great, my love to you all, I have to go, Jess is upset about something." As well has having delicate features, she had a delicate nature and was easily upset.  
  
"Let her know, I'll call back tomorrow."  
  
"Sure and I'll let Margaret and the Winchesters know." I barely had time to hang up the phone and realise that nothing more had happened to Jess than having Glory knock over her building blocks before the phone rang again.  
  
"Hello, Pierces' place." I picked up the phone again.  
  
"Annie, it's Soon-Lee."  
  
"How wonderful to hear from you! And how's little Max?" 'Little Max' was her son, whereas she referred to her husband as 'my Max'.  
  
"Wonderful, my Max is so proud! I am too. But there is good news, Max will be a brother in December!"  
  
"That's great Soon-Lee!" I said, not believing that two people would have such luck in one day when I couldn't have that kind of luck in months. We hung up and as I realised that it was nearly 4.30, I began to start in on the kids' dinner. The phone rang again as I'd finished with Lydia's meal.  
  
"Hello? Can you wait two seconds, I just got to put Lydia in her chair?" Without waiting for an answer I left the phone and sat Lydia in her highchair, with her dinner in front of her.  
  
"Hello? Sorry about that."  
  
"Annie, it's Beej, did I call at a bad time?"  
  
"No, it's just that Lydia was just starting dinner and I had to put her in her highchair. How have you been?"  
  
"Great! Guess what?" I ran a mental check on his tone of voice, I could read the man like a book.  
  
"Let me guess, Peggy's expecting again." I said dryly, hoping that I wasn't going to hear the wonderful news in reference to someone else, when I wanted to hear it so badly myself.  
  
"How did you know? My voice told you didn't it?"  
  
"Yes, it did." I lied, "Congratulations. Lydia, no, Captain doesn't eat your peas! You do!"  
  
"I'll let you go, thought you'd like to know though."  
  
"I'm very glad to hear it I'll ring Margaret and Charles later, save you the bill." I hung up and once the other four were settled with their dinners, I heard the phone ringing again.  
  
"Pierce place, and if someone's pregnant I don't want to know!"  
  
"Annie, it's Sherman."  
  
"Papa! I'm sorry, I'm just a little . . . worked up."  
  
"Well, I thought you'd like to know I'm a grandfather again! Baby boy, Matthew T Potter 10pounds even!" I gave my half-hearted congratulations, hung up the phone and burst into tears.  
  
"Annie-my-Annie, what's wrong?" Hawkeye had come home from work at the precise moment I'd begun crying.  
  
"Monica's babies arrived, Soon-Lee and Peggy are pregnant and Papa's a grandfather again!" I wrapped my arms around him and buried my face in his shoulder.  
  
"Oh darling, don't take it so hard." He rocked me soothingly, but his voice told of his pain.  
  
"Ben, honey, will we ever get this baby?" I said, while he held me so tightly it almost hurt.  
  
"Eventually my love." He said, but I could tell from his voice, he wasn't so sure.  
  
Jess's second birthday, followed 2 days later by Lydia's first kept Hawkeye and myself busy and gave us no time to mope about my non-pregnant state. With five energetic and thankfully healthy children, life was a three-ring circus. Lydia was learning to walk, Jess was developing her vocabulary, April was pining for her Daddy whenever he was away and the twins were starting to get into the scraped knee stage, tripping over on the pavement.  
  
"Ow, ow, ow, Hawkeye, easy does it." He lightened his touch to almost feather proportions as he put cold cream on my sunburnt shoulders. I'd spent the day gardening with my brother Chris and the kids.  
  
"Sorry, is this better?" He moved his hands below the sunburn to massage the small of my back.  
  
"Mmm, yes heaps." I sighed, arching up into his touch. As my stomach lifted off the bed again, he slid his hands under my stomach, and gently turned me over.  
  
"We haven't been together in weeks Annie." He informed me, kissing my bare stomach, mindful of the fact that I couldn't lay back too heavily because of my shoulders.  
  
"Oh, that's nice, what am I supposed to do about that? Oh . . . never mind." My sarcastic, teasing tone disappeared as he kissed my belly button. For the first time in a month we were intimate, and for the first time in even longer instead of just having sex, we made love.  
  
"My god, how incredible was that?" I sighed.  
  
"No more so than usual." Hawkeye replied, rubbing my hair, he was tired, and that was why his response was so careless and unemotional.  
  
"Maybe not for you, but seeing as it was the first time since we started trying for a baby that it meant anything, it was incredible." I said I had considerably more adrenaline than he did.  
  
"Whatever you say darling." He remarked flippantly. It felt so good to be able to tease him and just be like it used to be. I settled against him and fell asleep and I knew Hawkeye kept watching me and stroking my hair until he too, drifted off.  
  
"So what does my sexy little wife want for her birthday tomorrow?" Hawkeye asked as I changed into my pyjamas after a shift at the hospital.  
  
"Nothing big darling." I replied. "Just to be able to keep my breakfast down." The past week I had had trouble keeping anything I ate in my stomach and it wasn't only in the morning, leaving us ruling out morning sickness and pregnancy.  
  
"Well I can't make any promises, but I think you'll like what I got you." I collapsed on the bed and fell asleep almost at once.  
  
"Morning sleeping beauty." Daniel was sitting on the end of my bed, cup of coffee in hand, watching me sleep.  
  
"What's the time?" I asked sleepily.  
  
"Near 8, I told Hawkeye not to wake you up real early, you've been so tired lately."  
  
"Thanks, much appreciated!" I got up and pulled on my robe. We went downstairs where my kids showered me with affection.  
  
"Annie-my-Annie, I don't know if you ever played much, but I saw it in Portland a while ago, and couldn't resist." Hawkeye explained, as he gave me my present. A guitar, very much like the one Trapper had in Korea.  
  
"I've never played before, well, except for the odd occasion that Trapper showed me something. But thankyou so much Hawkeye darling! Sport, Princess, Angel, Baby, Little One, I'm sure you all helped too." I kissed Hawkeye and the kids.  
  
"I couldn't resist, I had to get you this." It was a present from Dad and Edna.  
  
"Oh, thankyou! You didn't have to do that for me!" I opened the gift, a pretty silver pendant with a purple stone on a light silver chain. I hugged Dad and Edna, and hurried to the nearest toilet.  
  
"You okay?" Hawkeye had followed me.  
  
"Yeah, fine thanks. I just wish we knew why I'm like this." I stood up and washed my face. Hawkeye wrapped his arms around me from behind.  
  
"I don't know myself. You're not sick, you're not pregnant, but you can't keep down the smallest meals." He said, as I leaned back into him, smiling at the entire foot of height difference between us, shown plainly in the reflection in the mirror.  
  
"We'll work it out eventually. We manage to overcome everything else." I said.  
  
"Except the non-conception." Hawkeye's hands travelled to my stomach.  
  
"Hey we'll even work that out eventually." I replied. "Love's what's done it before, and love's what'll do it again." Hawkeye kissed the top of my head at my calm philosophy.  
  
"As long as we got each other right?" Hawkeye said.  
  
"Right!" I agreed. And it was right, we didn't mind now that I wasn't pregnant, or that I would almost certainly bring up everything I ate, all we cared about was that we were together with our five beautiful children. 


	21. November 1958: Facts Of Life

A/N: I'm stopping with writing April's stuttering, just assume that she does folks, I'm sure that you still have some imagination! **~~**REALITY CHECK!**~~** This story has the facts of life, using real words and terminology, it's not too extreme, just honest but if you can't hack it, don't read it. **~~**REALITY CHECK!**~~**  
  
November 1958: Facts of Life  
  
"Daddy, where do babies come from?" I hid my smile as Felicity's voice piped up over breakfast and Hawkeye blushed a furious shade of red. He'd never had a problem talking about (or in some cases doing) sex with anyone, but for some reason the innocent question left him flustered.  
  
"Oh dear, well, gee they, umm, ask Mummy." Felicity and now the others turned bright little faces my way.  
  
"Thanks Ben darling," I faked a smile at him. "They come from a woman's stomach, here, like you saw when April, Jess and Adam were growing."  
  
"I grow there?" Jess pointed to my stomach.  
  
"That's right Baby, you, and everyone grows in a woman's stomach. Even Daddy and Grandpa did, they grew in their mummies' too." That settled the kids, and I dragged Hawkeye into the kitchen to have a little chat with him.  
  
"Are you that thick? You know where babies come from!"  
  
"I just didn't know how to answer it." He admitted.  
  
"My answer was straightforward enough Hawkeye and we agreed to be honest with the kids, and after that, with all things considered, they're going to be a lot more curious." I pulled myself up onto the kitchen table and sat there, looking serious.  
  
"All things considered, what do you mean by that?" Hawkeye stood between my legs, his hands on my waist.  
  
"I mean honey, guess what Margaret confirmed yesterday?" I smiled.  
  
"You're . . .?" He glanced at my stomach.  
  
"Yes! At long last!"  
  
"Yahoo!" Hawkeye picked me up and swung me around, kissing me. "Thank god for that! I knew it would happen if only we didn't try!" After wanting a baby for 8 months I was finally pregnant.  
  
"So, you see, the next bit will be how babies get there and the trick is to answer in sentences. They say where do babies come from, you say mother's stomach. They say how you say sex. Let's call the whole thing off!"  
  
"I see, no lectures. They say what, I say egg and sperm?"  
  
"Got it in one. So shall we go tell the rest of the world? Or at least the household?"  
  
"Let's!" Hawkeye put me down and we went back into the dining room.  
  
"What's all that noise about, something sure sounds good." Edna commented as we returned.  
  
"Great news, guess who's having a baby!" Hawkeye announced, Daniel stood up and hugged the both of us.  
  
"Annie, that's great! And I suppose that explains the all-day sickness in July?" Daniel said once he'd let us go.  
  
"Yep." I giggled, "I'm nearly three months along already, 10 and a half weeks, to be precise. I'm due May 26! Darlings, guess what, Mummy and Daddy are going to have another baby!"  
  
"In your tummy?" April asked.  
  
"Yep, right about here." I put my hand over the general vicinity of my uterus.  
  
"Can a baby grow in me?" Felicity asked, lifting up her skirt to study her cute stomach.  
  
"Sure can Princess, but not for a long time." Hawkeye replied. He grabbed her and blew a raspberry on the soft belly. She laughed.  
  
"Me too?" Jess queried.  
  
"You too Baby!" Hawkeye said. "And you Angel-eyes, and you too Little One." Lydia burbled adorably, her soft black hair shinier than Hawkeye or Ben's.  
  
"Me?" Ben asked.  
  
"No, Sport, boys can't have babies grow in them." I explained.  
  
"Why?" The four older kids asked in unison. In my eyes, Jess was really too young to be hearing this stuff at two, but I had little choice, she was so interested.  
  
"Because, only girls have a uterus, that's where the babies grow." I explained.  
  
"Do boys help make babies?" Ben asked, clearly wanting to feel important.  
  
"Yep, they sure do. You know you wouldn't be here if it weren't for Daddy." I told him.  
  
"Did Uncle Charles make April?" There was a little confusion as April called Charles Daddy, while the others called him Uncle Charles, but I think they were beginning to understand now.  
  
"Yes, Uncle Charles and I made April." I answered. "But Daddy and I made Felicity, Ben and Jess. Uncle Tom and Aunty Lily made Lydia."  
  
"How do you make babies?" Ben asked, very interested. Hawkeye and I glanced at each other, agreeing to do a double act.  
  
"Well, in here, I have little eggs. All girls have them. But they need something to help them grow called sperm." I put my hand over my stomach again, showing the general area, not knowing precisely where myself  
  
"Do I have eggs?" April asked.  
  
"You don't make them till you're older." Hawkeye responded.  
  
"What's a sperm?" Felicity asked, sitting on Edna's lap. I glanced at Hawkeye, letting him take that one.  
  
"It's a special liquid that boys make to help make a baby." Hawkeye said, "The sperm needs to get inside the woman to the egg." We were calmly answering the question, without any major details yet.  
  
"Where sperm?" Jess asked. Hawkeye and I had a silent fight over who would answer that one when Daniel stepped in.  
  
"In the boys' testicles Princess, they come out his penis." I shot Daniel a grateful look.  
  
"Oh, the sperm goes inside to egg and makes a baby?" Ben said.  
  
"Yep, that's right." Hawkeye said. "Going to be a ladies man this one!"  
  
"Thankyou for telling." Felicity said. She climbed off Edna's lap and left the dining room. The other kids followed and I released Lydia from her chair and she crawled after them.  
  
"Wow, that was interesting." I said.  
  
"I'm just glad it's over." Hawkeye said.  
  
"Are you two nuts? Then comes the 'how does the sperm get there?' and the 'how does the baby get out?' questions, trust me, I went through it with Hawkeye when he was five. Then again when he was 13, just to make sure I didn't become a grandfather too early." Daniel laughed.  
  
"Well, thanks for hitting that curveball Lyss threw at us." I replied.  
  
"Well, just don't get too relaxed you still have to deal with the teens." Daniel warned.  
  
"Not for another ten years." Hawkeye said.  
  
"Take it from a man who raised a son alone from the time he was 12, ten years ain't all that much. Ten years ago Hawkeye was. . ."  
  
"26!" Hawkeye added.  
  
"Hawkeye was 26 and in residency in Boston, with Carlye, writing that he loves her and he's going to marry her."  
  
"Dad. . ." Hawkeye started anxiously.  
  
"I met Carlye!" I hushed Hawkeye hurriedly. "She's a sweetie, it's okay."  
  
"Well, anyway, now look at him, married to a totally different girl, and a father of three."  
  
"Five Dad. April and Lydia count." Hawkeye and I corrected simultaneously.  
  
"Okay, of five." Daniel amended, "And what about you Anne, ten years ago?"  
  
"I was 22, just finishing my nursing ready to go to learn how to be a front- liner, looking around for my knight in shining armour and a part-time Mum to my 12 brothers and sisters."  
  
"Let's not forget a never-been-kissed virgin!" Hawkeye added.  
  
"Shut up, you were that way once too! Now I'm a 32year-old, married mother of five, pregnant with the sixth, a part-time nurse, and I'm only a sister and not a mother to by siblings."  
  
"A lot changes in ten years." Daniel said. "I rest my case."  
  
"All hail the most intelligent man on the planet!" Hawkeye said, "You're right, what more can I say?"  
  
"Nothing at all." I said, grabbing his collar and kissing him. He dragged me awkwardly onto his lap and we sat there for a long while, having a big cuddle.  
  
If we'd thought answering the questions the kids asked over breakfast were tough, we had another thing coming. Felicity and Ben were just warming up. I was very surprised that two 4yos could be so medically inclined.  
  
"Mummy, how does the sperm get to the egg?" I had Lydia in one arm and was trying to mop the floor with my free hand, while cooking dinner. Edna preferred to cook, but Hawkeye now worked Friday evenings, as he took the mornings off to sleep in and be a Daddy while I was at the hospital, so Edna stayed on and helped out.  
  
"The man puts it in the woman's body." I replied.  
  
"Oh." She left again. She, Ben, April, Jess, and Cathie Harrison's kids, Ricky and Julie, were playing something under the dining room table. Actually Ricky and my kids were playing, Julie was sitting on top of the table doing some homework.  
  
"Mummy, how does the man put sperm in a lady?" Ben asked. At this point, I was too flustered to be suspicious.  
  
"What? Oh, he puts his penis inside her and the sperm comes out. What's up Little One, are you ready to go down?" Her solid almost 18mo body was straining my arms.  
  
"No me stay up!" I resigned and swapped sides, hurriedly turning off the rice before I burned it.  
  
"Annie?" It was little Ricky, who was two months older than my twins. "Ben say the man puts his penis in the lady, but where in the lady?"  
  
"Ricky my man, you tell Ben that the woman has a hole in her body called a vagina. That's were the man puts his penis." Ricky went back to sitting under the table.  
  
"Julie, can you help me by taking Lydia please?" Julie climbed off the table and I put my daughter into the eight-year-old girl's arms. Julie and Ricky were staying for dinner while Cathie and her husband had a night out.  
  
"Felicity come out from under there Princess, help me set the table okay?" She obeyed, and the kids and I sat down to dinner. Fortunately there were no more questions.  
  
"Okay, wave goodbye to Daddy. Come on guys, we've got to catch that bus!" The kids and I hurried to the bus stop, fortunately the bus waited for us and I piled my five onto the bus. I had taken an emergency shift and I was leaving the kids in Portland with Mimi who cared for about a dozen other children as well.  
  
"Bye my darlings, be good, I love you all, come on Lydia, you can stay with Grandmamma today." Lydia had a fever and I didn't want her in a noisy crèche, so she was staying with my Mum. "Sorry I'm late." I explained to an unimpressed Margaret. "I had to bring the kids down, everyone else is working at home. Lydia's got a fever, and she cried for ten minutes when I left her."  
  
"Listen Nurse Pierce, I don't want the rest of my staff to think I'm favouring you. But as you're the only mother in this ward, you can get away with it today. If you're late again though, watch out!" Margaret was between a rock and a hard place, as she expected her nurses to be their absolute best, but she also knew how hard it was for me to be a Mum and a nurse, but didn't want to look like she was favouring me in front of her other nurses, all of whom she worked extremely hard.  
  
"Thanks Mum, is she any better?" I took my sleeping daughter from her.  
  
"A little, she's slept almost solidly since lunchtime." Mum stroked the little girl's face.  
  
"Great, I'd better go." The dark head settled sleepily on my shoulder as I walked to pick up my other kids.  
  
"Hi Belle," Ever since she was small, Mimi had called me Belle. "There's a person I think you should meet."  
  
"Who? Hello Jess!" I ruffled the strawberry-gold hair as my two-year-old attached herself to my legs.  
  
"This is Karen Mason. Karen, this is Annie, Felicity's mother. Come on Jess, let's get your bag."  
  
"Miriam never introduced us properly, I'm Annabelle Pierce, it seems you already know Felicity." I shifted Lydia so I could offer my hand. Karen didn't shake my hand, she just ignored it confused I returned my hand to my side.  
  
"I don't know how you choose to bring up your children Mrs Pierce, but you should advise them about suitable topics for discussion." I was told stiffly.  
  
"I'm sorry, I don't know what you're on about." I said politely, sitting down so that Lydia was settled.  
  
"I mean your daughter has been telling my son Ronny all sorts of horrible things."  
  
"Like?"  
  
"Like the truth about where he came from, that sort of thing is just not appropriate for a four-year-old to know."  
  
"I'm sorry Mrs Mason, I didn't know you felt that way. However, my husband and I feel that it is important that all our children know the truth. I will talk to them about holding their tongues in future though."  
  
"How can you just let them know that kind of thing? It's a very private subject!" She insisted, determined for me to admit that I was wrong.  
  
"Mrs Mason, I am a nurse, the children's fathers are doctors, and my father- in-law is a doctor. We have always been well informed about that subject, and choose not to treat it as taboo. Because, if we do not tell our children these things until they are teenagers, or even worse, let them discover it for themselves, it might already be too late, that's how I was born. What's up Little One? Here we go." I felt around in her bag and produced a bottle of apple juice soon Lydia was content as she grasped the bottle herself and drank.  
  
"You have made an excellent point Mrs Pierce, but just remember that not everyone feels the same way and that they do not want their children informed."  
  
"I'm sorry about that Mrs Mason, I didn't know that Felicity would do that. I have a bus to catch, and I really must go. It was nice to meet you, even if the circumstances weren't so pleasant." I collected the kids and we went home. Hawkeye, Daniel and Edna were still at work, and I decided to let the talk wait until Daddy was home too.  
  
"She did? I guess she's just like her Mummy, brutally honest." Hawkeye teased when I explained the situation.  
  
"Well, Ben takes after you, so it's a good idea he knows these things isn't it?" I replied, with a bittersweet smile.  
  
"You're evil!" Hawkeye laughed. "Pure evil."  
  
"That's why you love me." I replied flirtatiously.  
  
"That's what you think."  
  
"Whatever, help me here!" Lydia was a very cuddly baby and liked being held, especially when I was cooking and I handed her over to her father.  
  
"Mummy, Daddy! I told Ronny where babies come from and he said I was silly. But he's the silly, he said a stork brings them." Felicity said as I kept track of Jess and Lydia's food, ensuring it only ended up in their mouths. Hawkeye was similarly occupied with April and the twins, who made less mess.  
  
"Did you? Because Mummy and I wanted to talk to you about that." Hawkeye said, glancing at me.  
  
"Princess, and this counts for all of you too. Not all mummies and daddies want their kids to know about where babies come from and how you make them. So if we tell you something like that, please don't tell anyone else, because Felicity, Ronny's mother god upset at me for what you said."  
  
"Why?" Ben asked.  
  
"Because, just like we think it's good for you to know, some mummies think that it's bad." Hawkeye explained.  
  
"So you promise that you won't tell any other kids, not even Ricky and Julie?" I asked.  
  
"Yes Mummy!" The four little voices made me smile.  
  
I had to leave the kids at Mimi's twice more that week, but fortunately I was never told off about anything they said again. There were also no more questions, for which Hawkeye and I were glad.  
  
"You know what? I don't think we'll tell our little mate anything at all, if he asks we'll just say that it's something only grownups need to know, and you can't learn about till you're 21." We had nicknamed the baby our 'mate' and referred to it as 'him' in a plain showing of our hopes.  
  
"It's a great plan Ben dearest, but you know that we'll probably tell him anyhow." I lay against Hawkeye sleepily.  
  
"True, maybe we should bring the kids up just like you. No sex before marriage." He was teasing gently.  
  
"You think that'll stop Ben? He's a Pierce male, no two ways about that!" We both laughed.  
  
"Well, whatever they throw at us, we can manage right?" Hawkeye said.  
  
"As long as we do it together." I agreed cuddling into his chest, and sighing into the smooth expanse.  
  
"Sweet dreams darling." He kissed my head  
  
"Sweet dreams Ben dearest." I didn't care what life had ahead for us, I knew whatever it was, whether it was more awkward questions, or having to move to Australia, that Hawkeye and I could do it, together. 


	22. February 1959: Fearing

February 1959  
  
I was lugging a basket of laundry into the house, when I caught my foot on the step and tripped over. I lay there for a second, cursing, before pushing myself up. From behind a pair of hands came under me to help me up, startling me, and I lashed out collecting someone across the face with the back of my hand before dragging myself to my feet and running into the house and hiding in the bathroom where I was violently ill.  
  
"Annie, it's me Hawkeye, what's wrong and why is Dad sporting the world's best shiner I've ever seen?" Hawkeye came into the bathroom, a few minutes later, I was sitting by the toilet, shaking.  
  
"Don't come near me, don't touch me." I whimpered, deathly scared of what would happen if he touched me.  
  
"Steady on girl, it's only me. Get up." Hawkeye reached to take my hand and help me up. My skin revolted at the tender touch, and I feared for my life.  
  
"Get away from me, don't touch me!" I curled tighter into a ball and hunched away. I couldn't bear to be touched, my skin was prickling and the thought of physical contact left me feeling sick to the stomach.  
  
"Alright, I won't touch you. Can you tell me what's wrong?"  
  
"He was going to rape me! He was going to rape me so I hit him!"  
  
"Dad? He wouldn't touch you, what's wrong?" Hawkeye lay a gentle hand on my forehead.  
  
"Get off of me!" I screamed, pushing Hawkeye so hard that he fell on his backside on the floor. I'd seen him scared, for himself, for others, for me but never scared of me, but there was plain fear in his eyes as he hurried from the bathroom.  
  
"Anne, it's Daniel, I don't know why you're saying I tried to rape you, but I would never do anything like that. I'm sorry if you thought that." Daniel was trying to make amends to see if that would calm me. "Come on, come on out of here." Daniel put a hand on my arm, but I swung out so viciously that he was lucky he ducked. He too left the room in a hurry, while I vomited into the toilet over and over again, trying to loose the sickening feeling that had overwhelmed me when he touched me.  
  
"Say Annie, can I come talk to you?" Edna's voice called through the door. I took a deep breath.  
  
"Okay, just don't let anyone else in." I said weakly Edna was female and I felt her to be less of a threat.  
  
"Annie, you gave my Dan a real good shiner! I'm worried that you ain't quite yourself."  
  
"He was going to rape me Edna! I had to hit him." I began sobbing uncontrollably, fighting for breath in noisy gasps. Edna gasped and left the room as I heard her rounding on Daniel.  
  
"Daniel Julius Pierce! If what Anne told me in there was true, you sure have some explaining to do!" I was gasping for air, and I heard Daniel and Hawkeye trying to calm the irate woman.  
  
I couldn't explain it, all I knew was that if they touched me, they'd rape me and it was several hours before I ventured out of the bathroom and into the spare bedroom, where I locked myself in. I didn't want to see anyone, not even the kids and Hawkeye wouldn't let them in to see me, in case out of pure fear I hurt them, or their mother's appearance - shaking, sobbing, and deathly afraid - was scary to them.  
  
"Thanks Margaret, no, you're doing enough now by taking the kids, we don't want to upset Alison. Honestly this is enough and she's lashed out at me already and I don't want you to get hurt." Outside the safety of the room, I had realised that Hawkeye was sending the kids to stay with Margaret for their safety, as much as anything else.  
  
"If you're sure, but if you need anything, just call. Come on darlings." Margaret and the kids left.  
  
"Annie, it's Edna again, my Dan wouldn't rape you I know that. . ."  
  
"Dammit Edna, he would! They all would! Just get out!" Edna scuttled from the room.  
  
"Has Anne ever been raped?" Edna asked. I'd crept out, to get something to eat, and as I made a sandwich, I heard them talking.  
  
"Yes she was in a POW camp for nearly three weeks." Hawkeye replied. "She was raped frequently by the CO."  
  
"Of course, something in how I touched her, must have spooked her." Daniel said. "Did she ever mention tripping and falling on stairs?"  
  
"She was thrown down them often, but never in relation to rape. I think it always happened in the CO's quarters. It's never affected her before though, sure she was a tiny bit apprehensive the first time we were together after the whole thing, but she's never pulled away from physical contact in any form."  
  
"I'm worried for her, really." Daniel's voice was concerned as I finished my sandwich.  
  
"I'm calling Sidney, he helped her through it initially, he's the only one who knows Annie's mind that well." I heard Hawkeye pick up the phone, but I also heard footsteps approaching so I ran back to the haven of my room.  
  
"He said we shouldn't rely on him as we're no longer in Korea, and he won't always be able to leave work, but he said it's also an emergency and he'll be here as soon as he can. In the meanwhile, we're not to touch her, and to give her as much room as possible." Hawkeye's voice was outside my door.  
  
"I just want to help," Edna said anxiously.  
  
"Well leave her alone, we're all going to." Daniel said. "Come on, let's try and relax somewhere else." Relax, that was easy for him to say, but I couldn't relax, I knew if I relaxed, they'd come close enough to touch me, and if they could touch me, they'd rape me.  
  
"I'm just going to go in and be as cheerful and natural as possible, you're treating her like fine china, maybe normality in a sense will help." Sidney's voice roused me from a fitful sleep.  
  
"Hi Anne!" Sidney came into my room.  
  
"Sid I wouldn't . . ." Hawkeye warned as Sidney put a hand on my back.  
  
"Get off, don't you dare touch me!" Sidney and a split lip were seen hastily out of the room.  
  
"I don't think she told you everything when she was in the POW camp. I'm going to use a form of hypnotherapy to get it all out of her, you can come in when I say, but when you do, you must stay perfectly quiet as any noise may disturb her and interrupt the process." I was listening carefully to every word Sidney said.  
  
"Okay, good luck Sid." Daniel replied and taking a deep breath, Sidney knocked on the door. I hurried back to the bed and buried myself in the covers.  
  
"Annie, it's Doctor Freedman, I know you're scared, but I need you to trust me, I'm going to come in, because I want to talk to you. I'll stay right by the door, I promise I won't touch or hurt you. Okay, I'm coming in, it's okay, see? I'll just close the door, and sit down here and talk."  
  
"Stay away!" I shrieked as true to his word, Sidney came in, closed the door and sat on a chair beside the bed.  
  
"I'll stay right here, I won't lay a hand on you, I swear. Now, focus on this pen, this is the only thing you need to worry about is this pen. Just the pen, nothing else." My vision blurred and I saw the pen he held. "Only the pen Annabelle. Do you know who is holding the pen?"  
  
"I see only the pen." I replied in spite of myself.  
  
"Good, Hawkeye, Daniel you can come in now. Annabelle, I'm going to ask you a few questions. . ."  
  
Dum, dum, dum . . . *suspense music* what will Annie say? I'm going to put the next bit in a new chapter because I'm changing POV, as Annie isn't really with it and it'll be too hard to write from her perspective. 


	23. February 1959: Continued

A/N: Thanks to Hawkeye's girl, Satan's Apprentice, BroncoBabe007, Frankie, Kilikina, Assilem, Sweet Preserves, Heaven's Littlest Angel, Princess-Pixie- Sugar-Stix, Keikoh and Sky for their reviews! I love you all!  
  
Warning! This story is a bit graphic, and may upset readers. I guess it should be R rated, but this is the only chapter that's going to be this way.  
  
Feb 1959 Continued . . .  
  
Her sky-blue eyes are glassy as she focuses on only the pen. She no longer sees the doctor holding the pen, nor her husband, father-in-law or his wife as they creep into the room to watch as the mystery is unfurled.  
  
"Annabelle, were you in a POW camp for some time during your service in Korea?"  
  
"Yes," She replies in a quiet, trusting voice.  
  
"During that time, were you ever raped or sexually abused in any way?"  
  
"Yes I was, a lot." Her voice is low, and she stares only at the pen.  
  
"By many people, one person?"  
  
"By the Commanding Officer of the camp. Only him."  
  
"This may be hard to talk about but I want you to tell me every detail about the first time, everything, where he touched you, how he touched you, what you felt, if anything was said, tell me everything." At this command, her husband and father-in-law anxiously share glances.  
  
"The first time, I had been in the camp maybe a little more than a day. I had been made to operate on a injured soldier and he asked me to come to his office. There was a little step there and I tripped on it. I banged my head too, and I was really dizzy but I couldn't get up because my shoulder was hurt. Kwang, the CO came up behind me and picked me up."  
  
"Bingo." Hawkeye whispers, only to be given a murderous glare from Sidney.  
  
"Go on Annabelle." He presses gently.  
  
"Then Kwang took me into his quarters, he was real gentle because he knew I hurt. Then he put me on his bed and rubbed my shoulder, saying he'd make it better it but hurt worse. I was concussed from the fall, and I couldn't stop him he started taking my clothes off, he wasn't rough, it was like he was trying to make love to me, cause he kept touching me, really gentle."  
  
"Where Annabelle?" Sidney asks, watching to see that her eyes never leave the pen.  
  
"On my chest, and my stomach at first, and he was so careful, he was doing everything to see how I reacted. He didn't say much, just that he was making my shoulder better and I believed him because my head hurt so much. Then he told me to lie down and I did, I was tired, I hadn't eaten in ages, and everything hurt." She pauses for breath, even in her semi-conscious and barely with it state, the memory is painful.  
  
"What happened when you laid down Annabelle?" Sidney asked, only because he had to, not because he wanted to. He loved Annabelle a lot, and didn't want to hear of the torture she'd undergone, and he warned her anxious family, "Daniel, Hawkeye, Edna you might not want to hear this." Edna scuttled silently from the room, while the men stayed put. "Go on Annabelle, tell me."  
  
"I did what he said, and then he used my nightie to blindfold me. He told me not to be scared. He talked good English, and knew what to say. I could hear him, the noises as he undressed, the rustle of clothes, his breathing got quicker too. He sat down on the bed next to me and he started kissing and touching my body again, telling me to be calm, if I fought, it would hurt. Then he took my hand and put it on him, and he told me I was good. I tried to take my hand away but he held there, and he moved my hand on him, making me give him an erection." Though she is obviously focused on the pen, she is in pain, her voice is cracking.  
  
"You're doing great Annabelle, just keep going."  
  
"Then he took my hand off him and kept touching me, and he started by putting one finger inside me. Then he put two, and then three. He kept stroking me there, really carefully, gently. He was trying to get me aroused, but he saw it wasn't working so he took his fingers out, climbed on top of me and pushed inside me. I started crying, because it hurt, and he was heavy on my broken ribs and shoulder." Hawkeye gives a choked sob and leaves the room, Daniel hot on his heels. It is all Sidney can do to keep going.  
  
"He was moving inside me slowly, then a bit faster, like I was a virgin, trying not to hurt me, but everything he did hurt. Then he finished and he got off me, I heard him getting dressed, while I just I lay there then he took off my blindfold and told me to get dressed. While I did that he went away and came back with a potato from the kitchen, and he told me to eat it. He said I'd be sleeping in his quarters from now on, and told me to go back to work."  
  
"How many times did he rape you?"  
  
"A lot, at least twice a day."  
  
"Was he always gentle?" Hawkeye had returned, a little calmer, in time to hear the question directed to her.  
  
"No, once he just grabbed me and pushed me against a wall."  
  
"Tell me about that time." Sidney said steadily.  
  
"Pak, a guard there hated me a lot. Every time he saw me, he'd hit me and he'd just finished hitting me with a wooden pole and I was still lying on the ground when Kwang came over. I was supposed to be working and he got angry because I wasn't and he dragged me up. My clothes were nothing now, just a ratty nightie, and he pulled it off. Then he undid his pants, and rammed me against the wall and raped me. He was really hard, I kept getting bashed on the wall, and the whole time he was laughing because I was in so much pain. He finished and by then I was bleeding, which he laughed about when he saw, then he turned me around."  
  
"He sodomized you?" Sidney asked  
  
"Yes. There was blood for three days after that." Hawkeye left again, and Sidney was vaguely aware of someone vomiting outside.  
  
"Did he ever do that again?"  
  
"No, never. He was usually gentle about it. There were times when he was rougher, but most of the time he did it really slowly, and touched me, trying to make me come. Once I did, and he was so pleased that he tried again for three hours. The way he was so gentle and considerate hurt worse than the times he was violent about it."  
  
"Annabelle, you've been very good, very helpful, we're going to be talking a little more about this later. You need to know, that it's all over, no one is going to rape you here. You're safe. Now, I want you to come back to me Annabelle Do you understand?"  
  
"Yes." She replied.  
  
"Good, come back now Annabelle." He clicked his fingers suddenly and the sharp noise jolted her out of her trance, she stared at Sidney for a brief second, before bursting into tears.  
  
"It's okay I'm here." Sidney braves putting his arms around her and he succeeds without being hit. Annie burrows into his chest, crying hysterically. There's no one in the room to comfort her but him, Daniel's too busy crying in his office, Hawkeye's still vomiting and Edna is no where to be found, so Sidney holds her tightly while she cries.  
  
"Anne-girl, I'm here, you're safe in the Cove. It's alright baby, no one's going to hurt you now." Slowly her tears stop, and she lifts a tear-stained face to look at Sidney.  
  
"Thankyou, I never told anyone about the gentle times. It was too embarrassing, too degrading to let the others know a complete stranger who was raping me made me come."  
  
"It's okay, we know now, we're not going to think you were wrong. You couldn't help it, we're only here to support you." Sidney's dark eyes are gently serious.  
  
"Well, thankyou." She whispers. Slowly her family return to see Sidney with his feet up on the bed, and a blonde mass of curls lying in his lap. She's talking and he's listening while playing with her hair.  
  
"BJ and Lyss are starting kinder in September. I can't believe it's been five years since I spent almost 20 hours trying to get them out of me."  
  
"Really? Aaron is going to school then. They grow up so fast. But I think you have some visitors." Tiredly she sits up to see Hawkeye hovering at the foot of the bed. "Go easy on her Hawk, and she'll be just fine."  
  
"I'm sorry about pushing you." She leaves the safety of Sidney's side. Slowly, carefully, he opens his arms and she moves into the offered hug and he wraps his arms tightly around his beloved wife. She was going to be okay. 


	24. April 1959: Tuttle is Real!

April 1959  
  
"Look at you, you're so big!" Hawkeye drew a little circle with his finger around my navel.  
  
"Hawkeye, I'm not even 8 months, and you're saying I'm big. Wait until I'm term!" I laughed. We'd taken an evening stroll out on the beach, and we'd pulled my t-shirt up to study the baby in the moonlight.  
  
"It's going to be great tomorrow, I get to meet all your friends."  
  
"I can't wait, there's a special someone, I'm dying for you to meet." My high school was having a 15year reunion, Class of 1944. I could hardly believe it had been 15 years since I'd headed off to be a nurse.  
  
"Feel that." Hawkeye grabbed my hand, directing it to my baby's movement.  
  
"I felt it before you did remember, the baby's inside me." I smiled, putting my hand over the tiny movement. "Hey mate, you're just raring to get out aren't you?"  
  
"We got us a big boy!" Hawkeye announced proudly. The baby was quite obviously a large one. "You know what baby-face? I just decided that you must adore being pregnant!"  
  
"Aside from the morning sickness, aching breasts, swollen ankles, indigestion, heartburn, exhaustion and insomnia, often in the same day, yes. Why do you say that?"  
  
"Because baby girl, I happen to know that your stomach is one giant erogenous zone! So being pregnant, your stomach is even bigger, therefore, putting two and two together." I laughed.  
  
"When your mind's not being a doctor, it's thinking about sex!"  
  
"Can I help it if you're beautiful?" That didn't answer anything and he knew it, so he kissed me before I asked any questions. I'd gotten over the sudden fear of physical contact and rape after being really honest with everyone.  
  
"Come on, let's go back, we've got a big day tomorrow." I took Hawkeye's hand and we walked home.  
  
"Bye Dad, Edna, don't make too much trouble! Upsadaisy Little One!" I lifted Lydia onto one hip as I closed the door. "Which kids do you want Hawkeye?" We were taking two cars to fit the kids in and after some child arranging, we were on our way.  
  
"Ben help me here!" He complied by lifting little BJ onto his shoulders, hoisting Jess onto one hip and grabbing April by the back of her skirt. I put Lydia in her stroller and took Felicity's hand. We were in my old school's car park now and freed from a half-hour drive, the kids were bordering feral.  
  
"Let's go." I took April's small hand into my left, and Felicity's into my right, letting my belly rest on the stroller and push it along. Hawkeye had put Jess down and was holding her with one hand while the other supported his son who joyfully rode high on his shoulders.  
  
"Hello! Remember me? Sally Kent-Ferguson!" I groaned inwardly. Sally had always been sickeningly cheerful.  
  
"Sally, it's great to see you!" I smiled, letting go of my girls to accept the cheerful brushed kiss on my cheek.  
  
"Isn't it just super that we're all together again? And who have we got here?"  
  
"This is my husband Ben, and our children. Ben, this is Sally." She grinned widely shaking Hawkeye's hand.  
  
She turned back to me, "I'm afraid I have no idea who you are! I'm such a clod, I can't remember anyone!"  
  
"I've changed a lot, I guess you just didn't recognise me because I haven't got my brother shadowing me."  
  
"Oh dear, I'm such a silly!" She gave a giggle "Annabelle Dawson? Is that you?"  
  
"Yep! Have Scarlet, Johnny, Prue or David arrived yet?" I asked about my special group of friends.  
  
"Yes, they're all inside, mind you, I'd be wary, David looks quite, quite different."  
  
"His face? Oh that's nothing I know." Sally seemed a little put off.  
  
"Well, here's your nametag, I'd say you should take the baby out of the pram, it's a little crowded in there. You can leave it out here."  
  
"Thanks Sally. Come on Lydia, out we get." I ushered my kids and husband inside. The kids were nervous and clung close to my side. I was carrying Lydia, and Hawkeye was carrying April and Jess while the twins walked.  
  
"Annabelle Dawson, is that you? My word, you have changed." I smiled at the familiar face of my English teacher.  
  
"Mr Winter, it's great to see you! This is my husband Ben and our children."  
  
"What of Jack, is he here tonight?" The elderly man and Jack had always been close, even after Jack left the school. They'd shared the same passion for Charles Dickens.  
  
"He was killed in Korea." I replied shortly, knowing I'd have to answer this many times during the night.  
  
"What a shame, such a fine young man my condolences to you."  
  
"Thankyou, I do miss him terribly."  
  
"Well, I'll let you keep moving, Scarlet, Prue, John and David are here, they asked me to make sure you got over there." I glanced over, two women and two men were talking, and I towed Hawkeye and my kids over.  
  
"I'm back!" I tapped John on the shoulder.  
  
"Annie!" The four people hugged me tightly.  
  
"Prue, you haven't changed a bit, oh Scarlet, you look fabulous, David, John, it's so great to see you! This is my husband Ben Pierce, and our children Felicity, Benjamin, April, Jessica and Lydia."  
  
"They're beautiful, may I hold the baby?" I placed Lydia into Scarlet's arms.  
  
"Ben darling, this is Scarlet Tuttle, David Baxter, Prue . . ."  
  
"Tuttle I married Johnny!" She announced with a shine in her blue eyes.  
  
"Well, I missed something there! Prue Tuttle, her husband Jonathon."  
  
"Wait, Jonathon Tuttle?" Hawkeye echoed.  
  
"Yes darling, Jonathon Tuttle, one of my friends since fifth grade."  
  
"I made him up, Trapper and I made him up so the army gave the orphanage some money, and then he 'died' by jumping from a helicopter, without a parachute." I burst into peals of laughter.  
  
"Well Ben honey, this John is real, very real!" Hawkeye said nothing, but gave me an "I'll-get-you" look.  
  
"Oho, the terrible twins are all together again." The school jerk, rich, stupid and thoroughly hateable showed up.  
  
"Get bent Rodney," Scarlet said and we all turned away as one. It seemed he hadn't changed, and neither had we.  
  
"Ooh, do I sense some hostility?" He moved around the front into our view.  
  
"You bet! And if you don't leave, I'll break your nose again!" David broke Rod's nose in 8thgrade during a fight.  
  
"Tough man David! Careful mate, or I'll remove a few teeth."  
  
"You going to touch any of us, you'll have me to contend with!" John replied. His family had been the ones who'd taught me the self-defence I knew.  
  
"I thought I'd have sweet little Annie to fight with." He was 6'6" and 16 inches taller than I was.  
  
"Bite me jerk." I replied. Rodney left.  
  
"Someone tell me what's going on here, and what does he mean by twins?" Hawkeye demanded.  
  
"Rodney is the school's biggest loser. We hate him. Oh and Scarlet and John and David and Prue are twins. We've been inseparable since fifth grade. We had it all planned, Scarlet would marry Jack, I'd marry David and Prue would marry John. It didn't exactly work out, sure Prue and John married, but I went to Korea and met you and Jack was homosexual."  
  
"I'm not even going to bother trying to understand you. But trust you Dawson mob to upset things!" Hawkeye kissed my cheek. I realised Jess was doing her little potty dance and tugging on my pink skirt.  
  
"Come on Baby. Ben darling, I'll leave you to get acquainted. Lyss, Angel, do you need to go? Well I think you'd better come anyway. Excuse me guys." I ushered my daughters to the toilet. When I returned, Hawkeye, and my friends were sitting at a table, talking and I would guess, sharing stories about me. I sent the girls running ahead and followed at a more sedate pace when four women descended on me.  
  
"Beth, Minnie, Jan, Calista!" I gave a smile. It was the cheerleaders, for the basketball team. I had been one, but we'd formed the talented unpopular squad as opposed to the football's popular and only-there-for-looks squad.  
  
"Look at you! You've changed so much! All this hair, and wow!"  
  
"Come off it Min, you've changed too, where's Rob?" Through our senior year, Rob, a freshman had had a huge crush on Minnie and had followed her like a little puppy.  
  
"Shut up!" Minnie blushed. "I'll have you know that Rob and I are very well thankyou."  
  
"Rob and you?" I echoed. I'd really lost touch with most of my friends. "I'm Mrs Rob and there are two little Robs." Minnie informed me with a grin, pointing. A man was minding two small boys.  
  
"Look, I've left my five with my husband and he looks like he's being swamped, I'd best go rescue him." I'd glanced over. Lydia was still with Scarlet but the twins, April and Jess were too shy to leave his side.  
  
"Five?" Jan repeated. "And you're pregnant again!"  
  
"Only you could have six kids Annie!" Beth laughed, we were walking over to the table. At the sight of me, April let go of Hawkeye's leg and attached herself to mine.  
  
"Hello Angel, this is my daughter April." I picked her up. Even at 7½ months of pregnancy I could still lift and carry all my children.  
  
"She's so beautiful." They all cooed at once. April hid her face in my shoulder.  
  
"This is my husband Ben, and the rest of our kids. Ben this is Beth, Jan, Minnie, and Calista, some of the cheerleaders." Hawkeye very gallantly kissed all their hands, and they spotted someone else so they moved on.  
  
"Are the kids going to be here all night?" Because of the time I'd spent in Korea, I had a younger family than most of the other women whose kids were mostly aged five and over.  
  
"No, we've got a friend who's coming by to take them all but the twins." It was going to be a late night so at 8, Margaret was going to pick up the younger three. The twins were old enough to be out till later, and could sleep through nearly anything so in the unlikely event that they dozed off, they wouldn't be disturbed.  
  
"You're so lucky to have such a large family, but is Lydia yours?" I began explaining the situation to my friends.  
  
"So Prudence Amanda Tuttle, tell me, where are your kids?" I smiled.  
  
"Jamie and Chris are at their grandparent's tonight." John replied.  
  
"Jamie and Chris are twins, they're 9." Prue explained. Twins were common her family as both her mother and father were twins.  
  
"Would you believe I have twins?" Scarlet smiled.  
  
"No, seeing as I doubt you're even married." I observed Scarlet's ring-less finger. I rather suspect she had been very much in love with my brother and when Jack announced he was gay, she'd been somewhat heartbroken.  
  
"Come off it Scar!" Prue scoffed.  
  
"Not a chance!" David added. John I noticed remained silent, I guess he knew more than we did, being her twin.  
  
"I was two months pregnant when we graduated. Melissa and Bradley will be 15 in December. I never told anyone, not even their father. You all went off to college or wherever, and gave me seven months of peace to have my babies and let my sister and her husband raise them." Everyone's jaw had dropped.  
  
"Who was the father?" I asked softly. Scarlet dropped her eyes and her cheeks turned crimson.  
  
"Rodney was, that's why I didn't want to know him earlier. Erin Holland invited me to a party, and Rodney was there. I got drunk." She started to cry.  
  
"Hey, steady on Scarlet, no one's life's perfect." I soothed, hugging my friend.  
  
"That's easy for you to say Annie, look at you, wonderful life, great job, a husband who's smart, sexy, funny and loves you to bits, and a beautiful family your life is perfect." Hawkeye feigned embarrassment and modesty at that.  
  
"I was shot, I lost my right ovary, I was taken prisoner, I was raped and beaten, I watched Jack die, I was in a jeep accident, I miscarried, I had an affair, my husband and I had a punch on and I broke my wrist twice. That's just in Korea. Then I get divorced, I'm raising two babies alone, I get engaged to another man only to find his family hate me, I leave, pregnant with his child, return to Maine, have a one night stand with my ex- husband, eat peanuts, get rushed to hospital, have a tracheotomy, be in a car accident, give birth to my daughter in the wreck, then I become pregnant when I don't want to, have a stillborn baby, then when I want to get pregnant I couldn't, I won't go into the average for five hours sleep per night, or the fact that I get terrible morning sickness. "  
  
"I'm sorry Anne, I had no idea." Scarlet sniffled.  
  
"Never mind, come on, let's go find some teachers to upset. You want to come Hawkeye?"  
  
"Nah, besides, I'm occupied." Lydia had fallen asleep in his arms.  
  
"I'll send my History teacher your way if she's here, you'll get on. My darlings, are you coming?" My other kids decided they'd come and followed my friends and I as we searched out old teachers.  
  
"Please don't let him see us." I steered my friends away from the view of my math teacher.  
  
"Well, well, well, if it isn't little Annie!" My skin began crawling as we turned to face Mr Sherwood. He was horribly patronising and always called me 'Little' however I forced a smile on.  
  
"Oh, Mr Sherwood, how lovely to see you. I was just talking about you."  
  
"Well, how have you been Little Anne?"  
  
"Fine thankyou." I noticed I treated him with the same contempt and disdain that I reserved for Frank Burns.  
  
"And you Miss Baxter?"  
  
"It's Mrs Tuttle now." Prue informed him politely.  
  
"Well, who would have guessed? I'll let you have your fun!" We scuttled away gladly.  
  
"I still hate him." I shuddered and then spotted a favourite teacher. "Mrs B!"  
  
"My, if it isn't the twins! And with children!" Our sweet but fiery 60- something History teacher came over. "Oh she's just adorable! She looks exactly like my granddaughter" She lifted April up and my four-year-old looked nervous but happy.  
  
"That's April, my second daughter." I explained. "April, say hello to Mrs B."  
  
"April you can call me Violet. And how have we been?" I paused to lift Jess up before replying.  
  
"Great thankyou."  
  
"That's wonderful, and you Scarlet, still making trouble?" Scarlet was not a model student in History.  
  
"No ma'am." Scarlet replied with a grin.  
  
"And what about you boys, tell me when was the Leaning Tower of Pisa completed?" David and John both fell silent, mumbling answers.  
  
"1298?" David ventured.  
  
"Didn't learn a thing you boys, turned my hair grey! 1350! Remember that!" We laughed at her. She was exactly the same. "I've got a whole class to find, do you mind if I keep this beauty with me?"  
  
"Angel, are you okay with Violet?" April nodded yes. "Then by all means Mrs B, if you're happy. If she gets grumpy, bring her to me or her father who's over there." I pointed briefly. We kept going, having a great time, and then at 8, handed the kids over to Margaret.  
  
"Thanks Margaret, you're a gem." I kissed Jess's sleepy face and put her into the car. I hurried back inside, we were getting to the speeches. All of the old students were getting up and saying something.  
  
"Well," I said when it was my turn. "I don't know what to say that hasn't already been said. It's great to see all of you again. I want to thank you all for your support and condolences when I told you about Jack, and for the last time, yes I have five children and yes I am pregnant again!" Laughter rippled around the room as I sat down.  
  
I loved seeing my friends again and we parted with many promises to keep in touch. Exhausted, we got the kids from Margaret's and went home. Daniel and Edna were curled in front of the fire, and after putting the kids to bed, we checked in.  
  
"Any messages?" I asked.  
  
"Honnicuts rang, BJ wanted you to know that Alec rolled for the first time." Alec James Honnicut arrived in Mill Valley back in January. Apparently he looked just like Peggy's mother, Ruby.  
  
"Oh, anything else?" I yawned, BJ kept us well posted on his son's progress.  
  
"Soon-Lee, wanted to know if you could come west in the summer, meet Stephen." Edna supplied. Another boy, Stephen Andrew Klinger joined the Klingers just before Christmas. The unfortunate baby had his father's nose.  
  
"You didn't tell me that." Daniel said, teasing.  
  
"Sure I would've." Edna said. Daniel shook his head. "It must've slipped my mind. I'm real sorry Dan." She was getting a little worked up.  
  
"It's okay, Edna, I'm just teasing you, you did tell me." He put his arms around his little wife.  
  
"I knew I did." Edna murmured, still a bit miffed. Daniel kissed the side of her head and she turned to meet him. I took Hawkeye's hand then and we headed upstairs to bed.  
  
"Tuttle is real."  
  
"Hmm?" I sighed sleepily, Hawkeye's thoughtful voice disturbing me.  
  
"Tuttle is real." He repeated. "I don't believe it. Tuttle was an army scam."  
  
"Well Hawkeye, even the best laid plans come back to bite you in the arse!" I laughed wearily. "Now I have a shift tomorrow and I need my sleep!" In truth I didn't, I had stopped working once I'd started showing, at a very late six and a half months, but Hawkeye was so confused, he'd believe anything.  
  
"Sorry honey, goodnight." I settled into the pillow and fell asleep. Hawkeye poked me a little later.  
  
"Annie my love Tuttle is real." He repeated. I sat up, grabbing Hawkeye by his collar.  
  
"Listen shut up would you?" I roughly pulled him closer for a kiss, and Hawkeye shut up immediately and didn't even bother to argue.  
  
A/N: This is a call for suggestions here. Please leave reviews telling me what you think of my possible ideas.  
  
**********  
  
Alice's (Annie's younger sister) father is Daniel?  
  
I'd love for Alice to know who her father is, and it's plausible that Anne's Mum and Daniel could have slept together, I mean, how important has Daniel been to that family? Then technically Alice's brother and sister have already married, which is odd!  
  
**************  
  
Margaret, marries a long-lost acquaintance?  
  
Margaret deserves love, especially after Donald but she would leave Portland and can you imagine the Pierces without her? .  
  
********  
  
Hawkeye being drafted (this is in the FAR future) to Vietnam or choosing to go himself?  
  
Make for an interesting story, I'd love to see how Hawkeye will react to war all over again, but I couldn't abandon my little Annie could I?  
  
**********  
  
Another baby (that'll make seven) coming Anne's way?  
  
She's born to have kids, and loves her family, but a woman can only do that kind of thing so many times!  
  
**********  
  
Or any other ideas that strike you, please let me now, I've pretty much made up my mind about whether or not to use them, but I want to know what you think, especially about Alice. 


	25. May to September 1959: Births and Marria...

A/N: Thanks very much to Meredith (Beatrice) and Tessa for their reviews!  
  
May 1959  
  
"I don't get them." Hawkeye remarked, watching as Charles and I sat beside each other on the piano stool, laughing and having a great time as Charles once more fouled up the piece he was trying to master.  
  
"Hmm?" Margaret queried, she and Hawkeye were sitting on the sofa, Hawkeye painting her toenails.  
  
"I don't get them, look at how close they are, would you guess they had a broken engagement?"  
  
"Would you guess we had a broken relationship?" Margaret argued. "They're not letting it stand in the way of what was already there and neither are we, we're all just friends, would you guess there was ever anything between BJ and Anne? Or Anne and Trapper? Or you and Cathie or any of the other women you talk to, or myself and . . . no that's not the same there's still bitterness there. They also have a daughter, if they were bitter, and twisted, and everything they're not, April would suffer." Charles and I smiled at each other.  
  
"I hate you so much Missy Margaret," Hawkeye tilted her foot up so the sole was visible and carefully painted a pink smile on her heel. "You're right too often."  
  
"Get used to it." Margaret yawned, pulling her foot away and wiped the wet polish off.  
  
"Margaret," I said, awkwardly turning around in my chair, I was due any day, and not a moment too soon. "Do you want to sleep here tonight, you look pretty tired."  
  
"Sure, she can crash in our bed with us, we've done that before." Hawkeye referred to when Amy-Jane had arrived and we'd gone west to see her.  
  
"I wasn't pregnant, well, I was but you know how it was, I was barely three weeks, I wasn't showing or anything."  
  
"You do too much for me, but this time I'll have to accept, I am exhausted." She yawned again, stretching.  
  
"Charles, you've got the spare room as usual, Margaret, you have a choice of the playroom sofa bed, the spare room with Charles, or squeezing in with Hawkeye and I."  
  
"Seeing as I couldn't upset Charles and the kids descend on the playroom as early as 5am, I think I'll sleep with you two. At least, you manage to sleep whole nights." I usually woke around 6 with the demand from my bladder as my little Mate had been sleeping on it all night, but it was better for Margaret than being roughly woken at 5.  
  
"Well if you'll excuse me, then, I'm going to bed, Margaret, you're sleeping on my side, I'll go in the middle." I yawned, standing up. Margaret followed and in a matter of minutes, we were both sound asleep.  
  
I washed my hands and returned from the bathroom. I'd woken earlier and tiptoed out. In the two minutes of my absence, Margaret and Hawkeye had shifted to take up most of the bed in a spreadeagled fashion. I gave a soft laugh, and put on my robe, leaving the two to sleep and going to play with the kids in their room.  
  
"I had no idea!" Margaret's voice came from the bedroom sounding very surprised.  
  
"I'm so sorry!" Hawkeye's voice nearly spoke over her, genuinely apologetic. I left the kids for a second to find out what was going on. My guess, which was confirmed as I entered the room, was that Hawkeye and Margaret had wound up holding each other, Hawkeye mistaking her for me, and Margaret mistaking him for someone else.  
  
"You two are hopeless, I go to the bathroom for two minutes, and you'd already taken over the entire bed!" Granted it was a bit squashed when I was pregnant, but not uncomfortably so.  
  
"I'm sorry Anne," Margaret said, but I laughed it off, not really worrying anyhow. I trusted them both, and knew they wouldn't do anything anyway. Margaret went downstairs to help Edna get breakfast and I went to play with the kids some more.  
  
"When baby come?" Lydia asked. She couldn't wait until the day she too was a big sister.  
  
"Soon I hope." I replied. "Now let's go Little One, breakfast time. Baby, Angel put away your toys, breakfast is ready." I ushered my five lovingly downstairs.  
  
"Do you want to come Anne?" Charles asked. Everyone was going to the park.  
  
"I'm pretty tired and I would love a shower, so what say I meet you there at 12 with a picnic lunch?" I yawned.  
  
"Will you be okay to do that by yourself?" Margaret asked.  
  
"Yes, I'll be fine. If I'm not there by 12.15 you'll know something's wrong and you can come back and get me." A few minutes later, I kissed everyone goodbye, and got busy making lunch. It took a while as I was making for six adults, and five small but certifiably ravenous children.  
  
It was getting dangerously close to 11.45 the time I'd have to leave, when I finished making lunch and went upstairs to shower. I smiled down at my bump, taking extra care in washing it. I yawned some more, I was still tired and I reached out of the shower to check my watch. It was half past and I knew that if I didn't leave by noon, I wouldn't make it.  
  
Turing the taps off, I turned and reached for my towel, and collapsed as the all-too familiar but surprisingly sudden and strong pain of a contraction caused me to swear violently. It didn't hurt that badly, it had just surprised me and once I'd calmed down, I reached for my towel again and barely had time to wrap it around me when I had another contraction.  
  
"Whoa, mate, what's going on here?" I addressed the baby, extremely surprised. I'd had no previous signs of labour, but from the strength and regularity of the contractions, and the fact that my waters had just broken, it was obvious things weren't going to wait.  
  
I got myself out of the shower, with great difficulty and settled on the couch in the study, forcing myself to take a few deep breaths and calm down. It was almost 12 and I knew I had until at least half past before anyone would come back. Figuring the baby wouldn't make his appearance that soon; I got as comfortable as possible on the couch with many towels and sheets.  
  
I very quickly discovered I was wrong about assuming the baby would wait. By 12.15 the baby was beginning to crown, that is, the head was already being delivered. I was in no pain though, unlike my other long and rather painful labours, this was short, painless and happening in a damn hurry.  
  
I couldn't hold off pushing any longer, and I propped myself into a semi- sitting position so I could see what was going on. I didn't want to push, but I had to, the pressure was too great. By now I was scared, I'd never been alone when I'd had any of my children. I'd always had at least Daniel, and it was strange and scary not to have any of the support I was used to. Watching as my baby emerged into the world, I forced myself to settle down, panicking wouldn't help, and so far everything seemed to be going well, even if too quickly for my liking.  
  
"Come on Princess, let's go see what happened to Mummy, she probably fell asleep." I heard the troops returning and I realised if I called out, they'd probably make it for the very last bit. All I really needed to do was push once or twice more, and I'd be a mother for the sixth time.  
  
"HAWKEYE, DANIEL, MARGARET, CHARLIE, GET UP HERE NOW, I REALLY NEED YOU!" I surprised myself, as I hadn't known I could yell so loudly. I guess a contraction really helped my voice.  
  
"Just a second!" Hawkeye replied. I waited until I'd got my breath back from pushing and yelled again.  
  
"GET YOUR ARSES UP HERE NOW! I AM ABOUT TO HAVE A BABY!" Footsteps sounded on the stairs and Margaret, closely followed by Hawkeye, Charles, Daniel and Edna burst in. They were a split second too late.  
  
"Oh my god, Annie!" I'd just given birth completely unaided and I was now cradling my newborn son to my chest.  
  
"Anne, were you in labour when we left?" Daniel asked. The group had rushed forwards to see the baby, who was making excellent use of his lungs.  
  
"No, I just had a . . ." I checked the clock, "45 minute labour. Hawkeye, do you want to meet your son?"  
  
"It's a boy?" He asked, as I put the tiny baby into his arms. "It is a boy! He's going to be a lady-pleaser." I burst into hysterical tears and laughter; the shock of what I'd done finally coming back on me, and it was several minutes of noisy gasping breaths and tears before I'd settled down again.  
  
"Congratulations Annie." Charles kissed my cheek as I now lay in bed, cleaned up and with my healthy, very big 12lb baby boy cradled in my arms.  
  
"I should be so lucky." Margaret smiled, rubbing the little boy's head, which was covered in thick black hair. He had beautiful black hair and eyes that were an incredible shade of indigo.  
  
"Can we see now?" I looked past Margaret to see my five children gathered at the door.  
  
"Come on darlings, it's time for you to meet your baby brother." Margaret helped them all up on the bed and they crowded around, peering at the newest arrival.  
  
"Felicity, Ben, April, Jess, Lydia, this is your baby brother." I displayed the little boy who watched the world with his dark indigo eyes.  
  
"I hold?" Felicity asked nervously as with the previous babies she had not really held them.  
  
"Sure, come here and sit down, hold out your hands. She sat next to me and I laid the baby in her arms, showing her how to hold her brother.  
  
"What baby's name?" Jess asked. At our 3-year-old's query, I glanced at Hawkeye.  
  
"We don't know yet Baby." Hawkeye said, as I gave Ben a chance to hold his brother, which he gladly accepted.  
  
"Danny, you my brother, it you and me now. We play ball and climb trees and it all be fun Danny."  
  
"Danny? Why did you call him Danny Benny-boy?" I asked, surprised at the name.  
  
"It a nice name like Grandpa." Edna sometimes called Dad Dan or Danny as a joke.  
  
"I suppose we could call him Daniel." Hawkeye said. "After Dad, that would be nice."  
  
"Son, you don't have to." Daniel protested modestly.  
  
"Shut up Dad, I like it very much. BJ just presented us with the perfect name." I smiled at my son. "Give him to Aunty Margaret, she's dying for a cuddle I can see." Margaret carefully took the baby boy.  
  
"Daniel Pierce, it sounds wonderful." Charles said softly, smiling at the baby. I could tell he was wishing he'd been around when April had been born, so he could be holding me like Hawkeye now was.  
  
"What do you think, name Daniel after our other little boy?" Hawkeye asked, his lips close to my ear, so I was the only one who could hear. "Daniel Adam Riley Pierce?" He said the full name so I could hear it.  
  
"That's nice." I replied softly. "I like it." Margaret was still cuddling her nephew, but I reached over to take him from her, and between us, Hawkeye and I looked the little boy over, deciding whether or not it suited him.  
  
"I think there's a name been chosen." Charles said with a smile. "Care to spill?"  
  
"Ladies and Gentlemen, may I introduce my newest son Daniel Adam Riley Pierce." Hawkeye said proudly.  
  
"May we introduce our son, Daniel Adam Riley Pierce!" I smiled, seeing that this little boy was going to be a Daddy's man immediately.  
  
"That too." Hawkeye agreed sheepishly, kissing me as the phone rang.  
  
"I'll get it." Daniel went into the study, and picked it up. "Hello Pierce residence, yes, why of course, not at all, she's here. Margaret, it's for you, a Harold Olsen."  
  
"Harold?" Margaret shrieked, hurrying to the phone and snatching it out of Dad's hand. We shared a confused smile as everyone else had a cuddle with Danny. We heard snatches of conversation that made us laugh.  
  
"Of course you can call me here, that's no worry, they don't mind." Calm dismissal. "No, divorced." Sadness. "You're what? That's great!" A question and then surprise. "Yes, will I what? Of course I will!" More surprise and pure elation. "I'll see you tomorrow then, I love you." Serious happiness and warmth.  
  
Margaret put the phone down and took a deep breath, happiness at whatever she'd agreed to, radiating off her in waves. She came back into the bedroom and took a deep breath. Every face turned to her, watching, waiting.  
  
"I'm getting married!" Margaret cried. "Harold and I have known each other since forever, and he's just been promoted to Colonel and, it's wonderful, he's taking leave tomorrow and he's coming to see me."  
  
"Congratulations!" Everyone in the room hugged and kissed Margaret.  
  
"When are you getting married?" I asked.  
  
"In the summer, he has most of August leave." Margaret beamed.  
  
"You may get your majorettes yet." Hawkeye replied.  
  
"I hope so. A little girl, and a little boy."  
  
"How about four little girls and two little boys?" I laughed, motioning to the children that were on the bed.  
  
"Maybe two little girls and two little boys, but not that many." Margaret laughed.  
  
We met Colonel Harold Olsen the next day, who was an army doctor and very nice man. He seemed very much in love with his old flame who he had not seen since before Korea, nearly 10 years ago. He treated Margaret with the respect and love she really deserved, and that no one else, except perhaps Hawkeye had given her. They had met as ten-year-olds somewhere, and hated each other, but when they'd been reunited as 18-year-olds and again just before the war, things had been extremely different. I was happy for Margaret, rightly so, she deserved this.  
  
The kids kept growing and blossoming, and I loved every moment I spent with them. Danny was growing fast, as was his hair, and to my joy, his eyes remained that beautiful, but strange shade of blue. Not surprisingly August, and Margaret's wedding day came quickly. It was in Fort Wayne where Harold was stationed, and so, for most of us, it meant a flight to Indiana.  
  
"I now present Mr and Mrs Colonel Harold Olsen!" We began clapping and cheering, with many comments about how Margaret was finally married to the Army. Both of her parents had come up and Col Houlihan remembered me clearly.  
  
"Captain Pierce!" Hawkeye froze in his tracks, and I turned around with a smile. I saw who it was and saluted smartly, even though I was no longer in the army. He returned the salute. Hawkeye meanwhile scuttled off, he'd had bad experiences with the Colonel.  
  
"You're still my Margaret's friend then, that's good to see, are you still a Captain?"  
  
"No, sir. I left the army as I have children now. If you'll notice I'm not wearing any bars." Margaret had asked that everyone she'd met via the army came in Class-A's, and we all obliged, but as I was no longer a Captain, I left off the rank insignia, but still donned my old uniform, which fit better, as it had been a little big before.  
  
"Very good, I'd hate to have to book you for impersonating an officer."  
  
"Of course sir." I ventured a smile, which he returned.  
  
"And tell your husband to stop hiding, and that it's a pleasure to see him in uniform for once." Alvin smiled and moved on, happy that his daughter was married at last, and to a man he approved of.  
  
"Captain and Lieutenant Pierce!" This time Hawkeye and I both froze. Forcing a smile on, I gripped Hawkeye's elbow and turned around. We were right in recognising the voice, the sharp, nasal tone of Lt Col Frank Burns.  
  
"Maj- umm, Colonel! What a surprise, I didn't expect to see you here!" I snapped a surprised salute. I'd never saluted Burns before and had little intention to start now, but surprise made me do it.  
  
"Quit the small talk Lieutenant!" I fell silent, surprised. Hawkeye was trying to sneak away, but I held him firmly beside me. Frank saw my surprise and grinned suddenly, completing his sentence. "And give your pal old Ferret Face a hug!" He beamed at us, while opening his arms. Scary though it was, I could see he meant well.  
  
"Right." I nervously hugged him and a rather warm embrace surprised me.  
  
"And you, Pierce, you're looking well." Frank pumped Hawkeye's hand enthusiastically.  
  
"We must be going, ah - that's my daughter now." I said picking up Amy-Jane as she toddled past crying, looking for BJ. It was a complete lie, only Danny and the twins had come, as Danny was still breastfed at 10weeks and Lyss and BJ were flower girl and pageboy respectively.  
  
We returned to the Cove a day after the wedding, having had a wonderful time. Margaret and Harold were somewhere, having a honeymoon. Summer was nearly over, and in September, the twins started kindergarten. I was nervous, understandable so, as it meant I'd have two less children around the house everyday, and all too soon for my liking, the First Day dawned.  
  
They were going to the kindergarten in Crabapple Cove, with a class of children with whom they'd spend the rest of their primary school years. The Cove's school was tiny, with a class and a teacher for each year level, going right up to 6thgrade after that, most kids went to Portland Memorial as there was no highschool. Occasionally two classes ran as sometimes other children from nearby towns came in, but it was not the case this year, and my children were in a class of 23 children, 9 boys, 14 girls. I already knew most of them, and the twins did too, so for them at present, kindy was just a way to spend all day with their friends.  
  
"Alright, alright, I'm up!" Ben and Felicity had woken us up very enthusiastically. I groaned a little, I was tired as Danny had been rather playful at four in the morning and it had taken all the nursery rhymes and swinging games I could come up with before he settled down.  
  
"Mummy can I wear the pink?" Felicity asked. It was the dress Colonel Potter and given her last Christmas, and the pretty gingham checks looked very sweet on her.  
  
"Princess, it's fall already, a little too cold for that, how about this one?" I produced a thicker dress I had made that was also pink. It had long sleeves, and a high waist, with very cute embroidery on the bodice.  
  
"It pretty, but do I have to wear tights?" Felicity didn't enjoy tights, claiming rightly that they itched.  
  
"Yes honey, you know you have to wear your tights now. Unless you want to wear your overalls." I added, knowing she'd choose tights over her much- hated coveralls. She resigned to the tights and I was able to dress her. Ben meanwhile had been giving Hawkeye a run for his money, and my little boy was finally in blue jeans with a grey striped sweater on top.  
  
"Okay, it's breakfast time guys, come on, Ma's been cooking you a very special first-day breakfast." We led the beautifully dressed children downstairs for inspection by their grandparents. They passed with flying colours, both Dad and Edna thinking they were beautiful.  
  
"Are we going yet?" The very excited children asked as Hawkeye got dressed.  
  
"As soon as Mummy's finished feeding Danny." I sat in the armchair in the study, giving Daniel his breakfast.  
  
"Mummy, when will you be finished?" Ben asked, fondly watching his little brother feed.  
  
"Another minute pet. Had enough breakfast yet mate?" He gave no reply, but continued sucking. A minute or two later he was done, and Hawkeye and I walked our eldest children to school.  
  
"Hi Anne, Dr Pierce, you must be Benjamin and Felicity. I'm Miss Kyneton, but you can call me Miss K." Lizzie Kyneton was a newish teacher, who'd only been teaching in the Cove since 1954, but she was a cheerful young thing, who got on well with the children.  
  
"Okay, squirts, be good for Miss K now, Mummy will be back at lunchtime to come and get you." Hawkeye bent down and hugged both his children. The kinder class ran Monday and Thursday mornings, all day Tuesday and Wednesday, and Friday afternoons. The half days would gradually stretch to whole days so by April, the kids would be at kinder 8.30-3.  
  
"Okay you two, have fun and be good." I kissed them both, straightening Ben's ever-floppy hair and unwrinkling Felicity's tights. "I'll see you later!" I straightened up as Lizzie took both their hands and led them confidently into the classroom. There were no tears on the twins' part, but I rather suspected if I didn't go soon, I'd be crying.  
  
"Come on, I have work." Hawkeye took my hand and walked me out of the school.  
  
"Goodness, they're all grown up." I started to cry a little. "They're not going to need me as much, soon they'll be dressing themselves, and doing their hair, and there are only four kids at home now!"  
  
"Hey, come on, there are four others after them, and Danny's just starting out." Hawkeye wrapped his arms around me. "You'll be fine, and if you feel lonely, we can always make some more."  
  
"Shut up!" I smacked his shoulder with a laugh. I realised though, that I had to accept the inevitable, my family was growing up. 


	26. November to December 1959: The Other Wom...

A/N: HUGE thanks to Beatrice for her idea for the storyline in this chapter. Also thanks to Indecent writer, BB007, Frankie, Kilikina, and anyone I may have left out for reviews! These guys are great, do them a favour, read their stories! C'mon, just do it, you know you want to!  
  
November - December 1959  
  
"Take that out of your mouth mate, you don't know where it's been." Daniel, now a sweet 20-week-old ignored me and continued chewing his sister's doll. I bent down and removed the doll from his mouth. He burbled at me and spat up a bit of milk.  
  
"Guess who I met today?" Hawkeye breezed in from work. I looked up from my position on the floor, cleaning up milk spit. "Laura Molloy, from high school, head cheerleader, so talented."  
  
"Really?" I asked. "How did you come across her?" I straightened up with Danny in my arms to give him a kiss.  
  
"I had to go into Portland and I took a cab, she rear-ended us." Hawkeye informed me.  
  
"Oh? Everyone okay?" Concern raised the pitch of my voice a little.  
  
"Quite alright, I got a bit of a jarred neck though, and I was thinking, seeing as how fabulous you have always been at massage, that maybe you'd like to give it a rub later on." He raised a hopeful eyebrow.  
  
"Sure darling." I laughed. "Now take your son or finish cooking dinner."  
  
"Slave driver." He muttered, taking Danny from me. "Hey mate, did you have a good day? Daddy did! Oh and Anne my goddess, Laura and I are having lunch tomorrow okay?"  
  
"Yeah." I called back as Hawkeye went upstairs, telling Danny about Laura.  
  
"Are you okay Felicity?" I knocked on her door. It was a few days later and she was getting dressed for kinder.  
  
"Yes Mum." Since she and Ben had started school, they'd stopped calling me Mummy and tried to do things themselves more often. It was all part of them growing up, I knew, but I didn't like the feeling that came from knowing the two children whom I'd given birth to, fed, bathed, protected, and done so much for, didn't need the same level of care that they used to.  
  
"Benny-boy, are you managing to brush your hair okay?" The soft floppy hair was hard to get looking neat.  
  
"Mum, I'm fine!" He replied confidently. Feeling a little dejected, I went into our room, Hawkeye was dressing, while talking to Danny who'd just had a bottle. Because I worked, I couldn't keep feeding him forever, and he was almost weaned already, so I could go back to work after Christmas, it felt strange being more work than family-oriented, but I really did enjoy working.  
  
"Hawk, sometimes I have to wonder, why do I bother having kids when I know they're going to grow up and stop needing me?" I lay back on the bed. Already my housedress had small fingerprints and jammy smears from breakfast.  
  
"They'll never stop needing you entirely Anne-child, now which sweater goes best with this shirt?"  
  
"What are you doing today?" I asked, he never wanted help picking clothes unless it was important.  
  
"Lunch with Laura." This was the fourth day in a row since he'd met her that he'd gone out to lunch with her.  
  
"Again?" I murmured, and then replied, "That one. I love looking after them, it hurts to know they don't need it."  
  
"You'll be fine, I have to go, wish me luck." He bent down and kissed me.  
  
"Yeah, see you." I sighed, Hawkeye rushed out of the house, kissing various children and leaving.  
  
"You won't stop needing me for a while will you Danny?" I addressed the little boy who was sucking on his empty bottle. He'd learnt to hold a bottle very quickly and he enjoyed chewing on the teat once the milk was gone, but to be safe he was still held while he drank. However, he seemed to know that I needed reassurance and he dropped the bottle and started to cry. Feeling better, I picked him up and began soothing him.  
  
"Honey, is it okay if Laura comes around for dinner tonight?" Hawkeye rang from work two days later. I hadn't seen him much, if at all between work, kinder, and his lunch or even dinner meetings with Laura.  
  
"Whatever, it's Edna who's cooking tonight." I replied with a shrug, even though he couldn't see it.  
  
"Baby are you okay? You sound upset?" In my mind I was giving him a tirade that upset was an understatement, and that I was sick of all this attention Laura was getting, but I calmly replied that I was 'just tired' before we said goodbye and hung up.  
  
"Edna, Hawkeye's bringing a guest home." I informed her. She now only worked at the clinic two days a week, and fortunately today was not one of them. If it had been, I might not have been so welcoming about an extra person, as I had a hard enough time cooking for four adults and five children. I was a good cook, but Edna enjoyed it far more than I did, she was born to be in a kitchen and was as at home in a kitchen as I was in a nursery.  
  
"Extra guest, sure." She agreed, a smile on her face. I smiled and continued outside to join the kids in the backyard again, playing with the dogs. Lydia especially loved the dogs, they'd been there ever since she was tiny, and even though the others had all been around the dogs since they were small too, Lyddie had a special thing for them.  
  
"Come on upstairs darlings, daddy will be home soon and we're having someone for dinner so we need to get dressed nicely." All six children, from the twins to Danny, were dirty after a hard day of school or play.  
  
"Jess Baby, you and I are going to have a nice bath with Lydia and Danny, Angel-face, ask Ma to help you put this on, Sport, Princess, I can trust you to get dressed by yourselves." I lead the three youngest (and dirtiest!) to the bathroom. I ran a bath and put them in there, getting in myself. It was easier that way. Much splashing later I had three clean and dressed children.  
  
"Laura, this is my wife, Annabelle, Anne, this is Laura Molloy." Hawkeye introduced us, and I stepped forwards, to find my self eye-to-cleavage with Laura. I took a step back and glanced up.  
  
"Pleased to meet you." I feigned pleasure. Laura was a tall woman, and she didn't intimidate me, I'd learnt not to let taller people intimidate or bully me long before, but I didn't like the heavily made-up face, overly revealing clothes, and obviously dark roots in the pale blonde hair. In fact, I loathed her from the second I met her, I could see that she clearly had one thing on her mind, my husband and his potential seduction.  
  
"Oh, you have children, I see." she sniffed, "How . . . delightful, what are their names?" There was obvious distaste in her manner as she asked that.  
  
"Felicity, Benjamin, April, Jessica, Lydia and Daniel." I replied, pointing to each child in turn.  
  
"Oh, how . . . pretty." She smiled thinly, plainly not meaning a word.  
  
"Dinner's ready." Edna called from the kitchen.  
  
"Oh, you have hired help I see." Laura sounded a little pleased as Edna scuttled back into the kitchen.  
  
"That's my mother-in-law." I informed her icily.  
  
"Of course." She said.  
  
"Come on through," Hawkeye said, escorting Laura gently, and far too closely for my liking into the dining room.  
  
"Oh, the children eat with you I see how . . . domestic." Laura sat gingerly in the chair Hawkeye pulled out for her.  
  
"I wouldn't have it any other way." I said with a smile as I settled the kids in their seats.  
  
"Of course." Laura said. "Pork chops and salad, how. . . wonderful." By desert, she had 'how . . .' ed almost everything I'd said or done. I disliked her all more, especially as Hawkeye seemed to enjoy or not notice the fact that she was badmouthing his family, while she fawned all over him.  
  
"Excuse me, I have to put Danny to bed, say goodnight to Daddy mate." Daddy merely kissed his son's hair. I put my son into his bed, and returned downstairs, where Laura was just leaving, her cab having arrived.  
  
"Thankyou very much for coming." I closed the door with a polite grimace as Hawkeye walked her to her cab. The curtains were open and as I went to close them for the night, I saw Laura reach up to Hawkeye and kiss him. I would've brushed, or even laughed, it off as BJ and I kissed each other hello and goodbye, but it looked like Laura was giving him a tonsillectomy.  
  
"Dad, Edna, come and see this." I beckoned them over. Hawkeye wasn't kissing her back, and he was obviously unhappy about the situation, but he wasn't exactly doing anything to stop her. Laura climbed into the taxi and left, and the three of us hurried away from the window before Hawkeye saw us.  
  
"Goodnight Edna, Dad. Thanks for offering to put the kids to bed, I'm exhausted." I hugged each of them in turn as Hawkeye opened the front door again. I was heading sullenly up the staircase, and Hawkeye, not realising I'd seen him came up behind me.  
  
"Goodnight my sweet, I love you." He kissed my cheek.  
  
"Yeah, sure." I replied, shrugging away from his hold and heading up the stairs.  
  
"What'd I do?" Hawkeye turned back to his father, puzzled.  
  
"You ninny, I can't believe you don't know!" Daniel yelled. Daniel rarely yelled, but Laura had none-too-subtly insinuated that we should put Daniel in a home.  
  
"Boy, you sure know how to make a real good mess of things!" Edna had heard the hired help line. So saying, she and Daniel went to bed. Hawkeye sat down on the sofa with a lot of thinking to do.  
  
"Coming back for lunch?" I asked, realising Hawkeye hadn't taken anything with him the next morning. I was still in a bad mood, but seeing as the kids had picked up on and were upset by it already, I was talking to him.  
  
"No, Laura's shouting me lunch in repayment for dinner." He replied.  
  
"What about the hired help who cooked it?" I muttered crossly.  
  
"What sweetheart?" Hawkeye turned at the door.  
  
"Nothing." I lied. "Have fun." I turned around, Danny was lying on his rug, cooing and holding his arms up to me, a wide toothless grin on his face. Smiling, I picked up my son, he was a big boy, weighing more than any other of my kids had at 21 weeks, he was heavy, but on the upside, my arms were nicely toned from all the lifting.  
  
"As a bub blub!" He told me, his eyes shining. Even though he was small, I guessed 'bub blub' meant bottle, the bottle that he hadn't had yet.  
  
"Sure Mate, give me a second." I went over to the stove and checked the progress of his bottle. It was ready and I handed it to him. He managed to splash some of it down my collar, and then conveyed the teat to his mouth.  
  
"Felicity, can you sit with Danny while he has his bottle please?" Once my daughter was seated on the sofa, I put her brother in her lap and gave her the bottle. They'd be fine for a few minutes and I returned to the kitchen where Ben, April and Jess were just finishing breakfast and Lydia was still trying to absorb it through her skin.  
  
"Mummy, are you angry at daddy about Laura?" April asked. "She was mean to you." I couldn't lie to the kids about this they knew I was angry. As I wasn't often angry, they quickly knew when I was, and did their sweetest best to appease me.  
  
"Yes Angel-eyes, I am. But you don't need to worry." I replied kissing her brown curls. I began cleaning up breakfast and getting the twins ready for kinder.  
  
Three days later, I had barely seen Hawkeye, he'd been at work or out with Laura, and every time he wasn't with either of them, he'd be called into the hospital. Quite frankly it was driving me insane. I hadn't seen or talked to my husband in nearly two weeks, and if we did it was almost always about Laura Molloy.  
  
Things changed very quickly though, when Hawkeye came home 5hours late from a dinner with Laura. I'd waited up to meet him, wondering what the hell he'd been up to. I had had been out of my mind all night, and now that he was back, I was justifiably furious.  
  
"Benjamin Franklin Pierce! You said you be back at nine, and it's half past 2!" I confronted him the minute he walked in, but stopped when I saw his pale, terrified face. "Sit down, what is it?" I guided him gently to the sofa.  
  
"Laura." He murmured. "She made a pass at me, she thought I was going to cheat on you, really thought I was, and I said no. She got angry at me, and shouted a lot, we argued. Then when I told her I wasn't going to come home with her, she ran out of the restaurant, and right into the path of a truck. I've been at the hospital with her, she's going to be okay. And do you know something else, she was married, her husband's just been out of town."  
  
"So are you." I pointed out quietly.  
  
"What?"  
  
"You're married too Hawkeye, I haven't seen you or talked to you properly since you met Laura again, you've been out with her for so long. And that night when you had her to dinner, I hated her so much. She did nothing but criticise me and the kids, and Dad and Edna, and you let her, you didn't say a word, and that goodnight tonsillectomy she gave you! You've been fawning all over her, and completely ignoring us."  
  
"Oh Annie, I have haven't I?" Hawkeye saw the light. "I didn't realise, I was just over the moon to see her again, I wouldn't have hurt you intentionally. For what it's worth Anne, I love you and I'm sorry." He was clearly pained, and my anger dissolved at the sight of his face.  
  
"I know you are Hawkeye, your eyes tell me everything. You didn't mean to ignore us like that and you're disgusted at Laura and yourself. You don't have to be, I understand, it's okay."  
  
"I'll never love anyone as much as you baby girl, I realised that when she did all but lie back on the table in the restaurant with her knees in the air." I smiled, and Hawkeye put his arms around me. "I am sorry darling. I give you my word as a gentleman." I stifled a laugh at that point. "Okay, we'll settle for my word as a doctor."  
  
"That I can believe, I'm sorry to hear about Laura, how is she?" I cuddled against Hawkeye a little sleepily.  
  
"She's in a critical condition, severe head injuries, but she will live. She's going to be in quite a lot of pain for a while, but luckily she should walk and talk as normal." He pressed his lips against my head for his comfort as much as my own.  
  
"That's good to hear. If you want to keep visiting her. . ." I knew now I had nothing to worry about, and if Hawkeye wanted to visit his friend in hospital that was quite okay with me.  
  
"I don't." Hawkeye cut me off. "I'm disgusted that she ever thought that way about me. I will see her, out of goodwill to check that she's recovering okay, but you and the kids are coming with me when I do go. Just so she doesn't get any ideas." He smiled honestly and earnestly at me.  
  
"I love you Hawkeye." I smiled. "Come on, you look exhausted, let's go to bed." Sleepily, but definitely happily we went upstairs.  
  
"Peace reigns again I see." Daniel smiled. Hawkeye had apologised to everyone, even the kids and we were all very happy for it, as five peaceful Laura-less days had passed uneventfully.  
  
"Yeah, I was pretty stupid." Hawkeye admitted. Daniel was halted with a sarcastic comment on his lips by the phone ringing. Edna answered it.  
  
"Annie, it's for you." I stood up and took the phone. I tucked it under my ear so I could hold and feed Danny at the same time.  
  
"Hello?" I said once I was settled.  
  
"Annie, you'll never believe what great news I have!" Margaret sounded absolutely beside herself.  
  
"What? Tell me!" I demanded, knowing the news had to be better than great for Margaret to sound so emotional about it. She rarely showed great emotion in anything, and especially now as she'd been back as a Major, she'd rebuilt her wall, and become more reserved.  
  
"I'm having a baby!"  
  
"She's having a baby! Hawkeye, Dad, Edna, Margaret's pregnant!" Cheers erupted behind me as I announced that to the kitchen at large.  
  
"Congratulations Margaret, you are so lucky! You are coming up to the best years in your life!" I was really happy for her, she deserved this.  
  
"I turned 35 just two weeks ago, is that too old?" There was a sudden concern in her voice.  
  
"Margaret, you're not too old! My mother was 42 when she had Nat and Jemma. Stop worrying already! When are you due?" I laughingly reassured her.  
  
"About July 18." Margaret replied. "I'll have to leave the Army, but it's only a desk job for me after this anyway. I can't wait! I'm going to be a Mummy."  
  
"It's a wonderful time. Now listen, you gave me all sorts of advice in Korea, so you can come to me whenever you need help okay? I have to go I'm sorry. We're going into Portland today."  
  
"Okay, I have to tell Papa, he'll want to know."  
  
"He'll be delighted that his other girl is happy." The Colonel loved his own children very much, but that didn't stop him from calling us his girls. Margaret and I said goodbye, and I began to help the kids get ready so we could go into town and visit Laura who had come around and was now awake.  
  
"Well I'll be, it's the Pierce clan!" Ruby, an old, sweet and feisty nurse greeted us warmly. "I suppose you mob are going to go see Mrs Coleman?" Coleman was Laura's married name.  
  
"Yep Rube, that's the plan." I replied, shifting Lydia to my other hip.  
  
"Well, I'm not sure what the ward nurse will think about such a large group, but I reckon I can get you all in."  
  
"Thanks." We followed her to Laura's room.  
  
"Wow, what's with her?" Ben asked, amazed by the number of tubes and everything else around her. "I want to be a doctor when I grow up." I put a silencing hand over his mouth.  
  
"Hi Laura, it's Hawkeye." Stiffly she turned her head in our direction and smiled weakly.  
  
"You feeling better Laura?" She gave a positive groan. "That's good to hear." He took up her chart. "You'll be fine, it may be a long road to recovery, but I think your husband will be there the whole way." He smiled over at Gary, her husband.  
  
"I will be." His deep voice startled me a little. "I know she tried for something she shouldn't have but as long as she needs me, I'll be there." I liked the feeling watching a man who was plainly in love with his wife gave me, and as I turned to Hawkeye, who was watching me, I liked the feeling knowing I was that man's wife even more.  
  
"I'll never put you in a position where you have to doubt me again." He promised later on.  
  
"I know." I smiled and kissed him softly. It was going to be okay. Laura understood why Hawkeye couldn't bring himself to see her again, and in time with Gary by her side, she'd recover completely, the only memory of her accident a few scars. Hawkeye and I were okay too, we'd come to an understanding about it all, and admitted to being more in love than ever. It was going to be okay. 


	27. February to July 1960: Dr Daddy

A/N: Annie's mother was called Alison in the first story, but her name is Anita. I also don't own any of the songs that may appear throughout my stories okay?  
  
February - July 1960  
  
It was just another Saturday. Edna humming in the kitchen, Dad humming in his study, Hawkeye and Ben building a porch swing out front, Felicity and April building snowmen in the last of the snow, Jessica trying to play a simple tune that I'd taught her on the piano, Lydia playing house with the dogs, and Danny trying to walk with my help, despite the fact that he was only 9months old. However, he'd been crawling by 22 weeks, pretty early, so if he walked as well, it wouldn't surprise me. It really was just another typical Pierce Saturday.  
  
Suddenly Daniel's humming stopped and I heard a something falling, I figured he was alright, as he would've called out for help if he'd really needed it. Pierces never liked asking for help, but always would if they were in trouble. Then he did call, and I left Danny to his own devices, as I knew he was in trouble.  
  
"Help!" I heard Daniel's voice choking from the study. I ran to him, calling for Edna and Hawkeye.  
  
"Dad? Hold on Dad, you'll be okay, Edna, call an ambulance and get Hawkeye, I think he just had a heart attack!" I fell on my knees beside Daniel and checked his pulse anxiously. There was none, and as Hawkeye joined me, we began pumping his chest and trying to revive him.  
  
Hawkeye and I now sat in the waiting room of the hospital, gripping each other's hands tightly, waiting for any news of Daniel. Finally after hours, a nurse arrived.  
  
"Dr and Mrs Pierce?"  
  
"That's us, is he okay?" Hawkeye and I stood up hurriedly to meet her.  
  
"Yes, the doctor said you could come in and see him now." Hawkeye heaved a huge sigh of relief, his face was pale and sweaty, he couldn't bear to loose his father as well as his mother. He knew he had to accept the facts of life, but saying goodbye to Daniel was a hurdle he was not yet ready to overcome.  
  
"Thank god." We followed her back, to Dad's room. He lay there, weak and barely conscious, but thankfully, alive. The doctor was there too, and he looked up as we came in.  
  
"He's very weak, but he will live and should make a complete recovery with appropriate rest. There seems to be no reason whatsoever for this, he's a very healthy man. I'll leave you now, try and keep him quiet, he wants to see his grandchildren, but I don't think he should for a few days."  
  
"Thanks Dr Flint." I often worked under him, and he knew me well, favouring me with a smile as he left.  
  
"Dad, it's Hawkeye, how are you feeling."  
  
"Like my heart stopped." Daniel joked tiredly.  
  
"Dad, I was so worried." I joined Hawkeye at the side of the bed. Daniel searched for my hand and gripped it in both of his, tightly.  
  
"It'll take a bit before you knock me off honey-bear." He kissed my hand firmly. "Now you two listen to me, I have something very important to tell you, and just in case I don't pull through I want you to know."  
  
"Dad, you're going to pull through." Hawkeye and I said in unison.  
  
"Just in case. I have a daughter, Hawkeye you have a half-sister. She's turning 20 in September. Her mother and I had a little, thing way back when, and when I heard she was pregnant I offered to marry her, but she said no. She felt like it was charity. I wasn't able to be there for her birth, but I knew that my daughter arrived, and fortunately looked exactly like her mother's family, so there weren't going to be any questions or pressure put on me. I still see her occasionally, she's at college now, but she's a beautiful girl and I'm very proud."  
  
"I have a sister?" Hawkeye echoed. "I don't believe it, after years and years of wanting one, I finally have one. But she's what, 18 years younger than I am?"  
  
"Yes, you were 18 when my girl was born." Daniel replied.  
  
"Wait, no father, 20 in September, no resemblance to you, you didn't deliver her, that sounds exactly like. . ."  
  
"Like Alice," Hawkeye finished for me, "Dad, did you and Anita have something?" We glanced at each other and when we'd turned our eyes back to Daniel, he'd fallen asleep.  
  
"How convenient," I murmured. "Come on, let's go get some lunch, I'm starving." I took Hawkeye's hand and led him from the room.  
  
"So conservative Anne." Hawkeye remarked of my ankle length nightgown. "I'll bet there's a beautiful just lost the post-natal-puppy-fat body under there."  
  
"Shush, maybe you'll find out." I laughed, getting into bed with him. He put his arms around me, and kissed my eyelids when a tiny knock on the door halted his hand mid-way through undoing my buttons.  
  
"Mummy, can I sleep with you, I'm scared about grandpa." It was Jess.  
  
"Of course Baby, come on." I replied, sharing a glance with Hawkeye and pulling back the blankets and helping our nearly four-year-old daughter into bed. The kids were all worried about Dad, and Jess being especially close to him was hit the hardest.  
  
"Right between Mummy and Daddy." She wriggled accordingly into place. We got resettled and two seconds later there was another small knock on the door, Lydia and Felicity.  
  
"Mum, Lyddie and I can't sleep because of Grandpa." They were temporarily sharing a room while Felicity's window was fixed, it had been broken courtesy of a miss aimed baseball.  
  
"Come on in then you two." Hawkeye replied as we shifted over to let our daughters into the bed as well.  
  
Ben and April later, six kids were very comfortably asleep, while Hawkeye and I were very uncomfortably squashed. We'd deliberately got a big bed as I had a tendency to sprawl while Hawkeye sometimes needed his space if claustrophobia took over, but it still couldn't sleep eight people.  
  
"Come on, let's go sleep downstairs." Hawkeye whispered about an hour later. It was clear that none of the kids would wake, and that we could get out without disturbing them.  
  
"This is nice," I smiled. We'd settled on the living room rug in front of the fire with a glass of wine apiece, it was warm and suitably romantic. Wine glasses emptied, and the fire now smouldering embers, we fell asleep.  
  
"Kids, settle down, Grandpa is going to be very tired, you can all have a hug with him, but only a little one, be quiet." I shushed them as Hawkeye helped Daniel in from the car. He'd recovered well, but needed at least an extra week of rest before he could think about getting up and a further week before he could consider returning to work.  
  
"Dad, we've got some questions for you." He was up and about again, sitting on the porch swing in the early March sunshine.  
  
"Sure, fire away." Daniel agreed. He put an arm around me, and as I leaned into him, he kissed my forehead.  
  
"We've figured something out, Alice is your daughter isn't she?" Hawkeye asked.  
  
"Yes, I won't lie. Anita and I had a pretty serious affair for a while. It all started out when Lily's father left her, she was pregnant then and she was pretty scared, so I was there for her, holding her hand and giving her free medical treatments, that kind of thing. Then, well, let's see, Lily must have been about 2, Hawkeye had gone away for a weekend with a mate, he was 16 then, I had them all to stay, and well, Anita and I once we put the kids to bed got to talking, and you know what happens when a Dawson woman gets left alone with a Pierce male late at night." At this point Daniel paused and Hawkeye grabbed me and kissed me passionately.  
  
"Oh, so Mum seduced you?" I laughed, fighting Hawkeye away breathlessly.  
  
"It takes two to tango, she's not entirely to blame. We became very close, and then Anita said she was pregnant. I offered to marry her, to raise the kids with her, but she said no, she felt too much like it was just out of charity, and she couldn't do that. She told me that, and our relationship ended there. I still saw her, only as a patient, but I couldn't make it down when she went into labour with my baby. I get this call from the sweetest 14-year-old who ever graced God's green earth at some ungodly hour, and I talked her through delivering my daughter. I chose her middle name, Marilla and that's it, Anita married Patrick, and I finally married Edna."  
  
"Why didn't you tell us sooner Dad?" I wanted to know.  
  
"Well, I knew I'd have to eventually, but it never felt right, but when I saw that I could have died, I knew I had to tell you then. Alice has no idea, but I want to thank you Annie, for making sure she was okay."  
  
"No worries, and it probably explains why I like her so much, we hit it off from square one, she's a Pierce and I seem to have a fondness for them." I laughed, motioning to the kids who played on the lawn.  
  
"That you do, telephone." Daniel laughed, as I hurried in to pick it up.  
  
"Anne?" It was Margaret, sounding excited and breathless.  
  
"The one and only, what's up?"  
  
"It's twins, I'm having twins!" She was beside herself as she shrieked that.  
  
"What?" I didn't quite get it, the revelation that my little sister was also my sister-in-law clouding my thoughts.  
  
"I'm pregnant with twins, the Fort Hospital just confirmed it!"  
  
"Margaret, two for the price of one, you are so lucky! Congratulations to you and Harold."  
  
"You'd know, are twins any harder than one baby?" Margaret asked. As much as she wanted children, she'd found a reason to ring me almost every week, with a nervous query about childbearing.  
  
"It's been near 6 years since I carried the twins, well, in the sense of being pregnant I'd say not particularly. I felt really good for most of it, actually getting them out of me, was long, but it was a first birth and there were no complications, it wasn't any harder really, but it was a little longer. In the sense of looking after them, it's a bit more work, they'll want feeding at different times, one will be asleep and the other will be awake, that sort of thing, it's worth it though, those precious little lives depending on you and loving you."  
  
"Thanks Anne, you always know what I need to hear." There was a smile in Margaret's voice.  
  
"I'd best go, you're paying after all." I said. We said goodbye and I relayed the news to my thrilled family.  
  
Daniel recovered well, and returned to work, on shortened hours, we only let him work half days now, he hated that, but we weren't going to have him have another heart attack on us. The twins turned six, April turned five, Danny turned one, Jess turned four and Lydia turned three, and by then, the heart attack was mostly a distant memory, but a memory to be avoided. Daniel's admission of parenthood had also slipped our minds, with Alice not being around to talk to. It was early July and Margaret, up in Fort Wayne, was nearing her due date.  
  
"Hawkeye, Hawkeye, wake up, I'm going up to Fort Wayne." I'd just received a phonecall and I was trying to wake my husband.  
  
"What?" Hawkeye stirred  
  
"Harold's had to go to Fort Worth, and Margaret's alone, and scared she just rang. I have a flight out at 8."  
  
"Go, by all means, you can't have her alone." Hawkeye woke up and got out of bed, helping me fill a suitcase.  
  
"I'm not taking any of the kids, I don't know how long I'm going to be gone, and an army base is not the place for our lot, especially with Frank around." Colonel Burns was still up there, but apparently left Margaret well alone.  
  
"Sure, do you need a ride to the airport?"  
  
"Edna offered to drive. Thanks though darling, I'd better go, I have five minutes to leave and I still need breakfast and to say goodbye to the kids." I'd begun throwing on a dress and realised; one it was backwards, two it was dirty and three, I'd be uncomfortably hot travelling in the long sleeved heavy cotton dress. I sighed and dragged it off, Hawkeye laughed and threw me a clean sleeveless dress made from something lighter.  
  
"I'll wake them." I made a point of not leaving without saying goodbye to the kids if I could help it.  
  
"Thanks darling, I'll be having breakfast downstairs." I slipped my sandals on and put a clasp in my hair before running downstairs and hurriedly ate the coffee and toast Edna prepared for me.  
  
"Bye-bye darlings, I won't be long, I'll call every night, be good for Daddy." I kissed all six and straightened up to kiss Hawkeye. "I shouldn't be any more than a week, see you then." I hurried out to the car and left.  
  
"Margaret, you look great!" She did, at 8 and ¾ months of pregnancy, I think she looked even better than I had with Ben and Felicity.  
  
"Thanks for coming, I just couldn't bear being alone, especially if the babies make their arrival while Harold is gone." She hugged me tightly. "Come on, let's go get some lunch."  
  
"Thankyou for talking me into this." Margaret and I were on a train back to Portland. Harold had confirmed he wouldn't be back until August and so Margaret was coming to have the babies in the Cove.  
  
"Hey, you know I only did it to be back home with the kids again." I teased with a wink. Margaret gave my arm a warm slap. We began reminiscing happy childhood moments, by way of passing time.  
  
"Mummy, mummy, Aunty Margaret said to come quick she thinks she's having her baby!" It was Jess, and she burst into my shower. Margaret had been staying with us for a week and a bit, and she was three days overdue.  
  
"Thanks Baby, I better go then." I put on a robe and ran downstairs. Hawkeye and Daniel already had Margaret under control but she was still glad to see me.  
  
"Come on, let's get to hospital." Although I gave birth at home and wouldn't have it any other way, Margaret was nervous and was going to have her twins in Portland. We drove to the hospital, where Hawkeye and I were to deliver, as we both worked there, and because even though she was no longer in a position of any authority, no one was prepared to argue with Margaret when she said Hawkeye and I were going to be the ones to deliver her babies.  
  
"Annie!" She was clinging to me, holding on tightly as I helped her onto the bed.  
  
"Margaret, you're fine, come on, let go of me now, it's okay. I'll sit right with you, the whole time, I'll hold your hand and everything. I'm not going to leave you Margaret." Hawkeye wouldn't need any help with getting the twins out of her, so I knew I would be able to sit by her head the whole time.  
  
"Please don't go Annie, stay with me," She whimpered. I squeezed in with her at the head of the bed, cradling her head against my chest, and muttering soothing nonsense. She leaned into me, taking comfort in my hold.  
  
"Okay Margaret, let's see how you're going." Hawkeye was in charge here, mostly because Margaret was too frightened to give any orders. I was still sitting with her, but my feet now hung off the side of the bed, while Margaret's head rested in my lap.  
  
"It's okay isn't it? Tell me it's okay." Margaret was uncharacteristically scared out of her wits. I didn't blame her, giving birth was scary enough, but combine that with a first baby, twins at that and not having her husband around, must have in truth, been terrifying. I at least had had Hawkeye the first time around, even if we had been divorced.  
  
"You're just fine Margaret, you're doing good. Hang in there, you're only just 2 inches dilated, so you've got a way to go, but it's great, you're going fine." Hawkeye smiled reassuringly.  
  
"You hear that Annie? I'm doing fine!" Margaret gasped relieved.  
  
"Of course you are, you wouldn't be doing anything but your best Major Houlihan." I smiled then winced as she crushed my hand with another contraction. I felt a crack, but said nothing, the last thing Margaret needed to worry about was whether or not she'd just broken my index finger.  
  
12 hours of labour later, and it seemed like an eternity before Hawkeye had a head. But after that things moved very quickly. I moved off the bed just in case Hawkeye needed help and to be there when the first twin arrived.  
  
"Push Margaret, push! It's a girl!" Hawkeye held up her firstborn. The baby began to cry immediately, and I took the baby to her mother.  
  
"She's beautiful, Annie, I did it, I did, it I - oh my god!" Baby number two was on its way, in a very painful hurry.  
  
"Congratulations!" Margaret was now the proud mother of identical twin girls and she was crying her eyes out as she nursed her pretty blue-eyed babies. I was nursing a sore, swollen and fractured forefinger.  
  
"You did great Mrs Olsen. Doctor Pierce says if you're up and about tomorrow you can return to Chateau Pierce until Colonel Olsen returns. If you need anything, just call, one of us nurses will be around." Half an hour after Isabelle Sabrina and Hannah Elise's birth, my shift had started so it was back to Mrs Olsen and Doctor Pierce instead of Margaret and Hawkeye. Hawkeye had taped my fingers and given me a painkiller, so I was ok.  
  
"Thanks Annie, I don't think I could have done that without you." Margaret smiled, quite ready to go to sleep, so I left the room, and went to work.  
  
"Hey, shh, Isabelle, don't you think this is an unreasonable amount of noise to be making at 4am?" The twins and Margaret had returned, and at present neither twin wanted to sleep.  
  
"Come on Isabelle, let's go for a walk into the kitchen, so we can heat some bottles." Margaret was bottle-feeding her babies from square one. I picked up the three-day-old infant and carried her into the kitchen. "Margaret, just taking Isabelle out for a minute." I called. Margaret, rocking Hannah grunted a tired reply.  
  
"Isabelle Sabrina Olsen hush now. Okay, I'll sing you a song." I began rocking the baby and humming Molly Malone, before starting to actually sing. The baby fell quiet and I kept singing and heating the bottles.  
  
"Thanks, are you sure you're okay with Isabelle?" Margaret asked as Hannah began sucking on her bottle. I nodded and left again, giving Isabelle her bottle, singing in an Irish accent that suited the song.  
  
"In Dublin's fair city where the girls are so pretty, I first set my eyes on sweet Molly Malone." I heard footsteps, approaching the kitchen doorway and identified them as either Hawkeye or Daniel's.  
  
"Katharine?" Daniel sleepily called coming into the kitchen.  
  
"Mum?" Hawkeye's voice matched his father's in terms of dazed half-sleep as I heard him hurrying downstairs.  
  
"It's me Anne." I turned, puzzled. Both Hawkeye and Daniel stood there, a strange, half tearful look of confusion and recognition on their faces.  
  
"You sounded . . ." Daniel trailed off tiredly.  
  
"Exactly like Mum." Hawkeye finished.  
  
"She used to cook breakfast and sing Molly Malone."  
  
"Every single morning, I'd always wake up when I heard her singing." Hawkeye supplied.  
  
"Your accent Anne, where, why?" Daniel queried, staring hard at me, and trying to shake the image of his wife.  
  
"It suits the song, and Mum and Dad were both born in Ireland. They moved out when Mum was about 2 and Dad's family followed a year later. I've heard my share of Irish accents." I shrugged, checking that Isabelle was still content, she was and happily sucked on her bottle.  
  
"You scared me for a second, you sounded exactly like her and the way you were standing there, nursing the baby, reminded me of one time when just after he was born. She was there, cooking breakfast, nursing her son and singing Molly Malone." A brief, sad look crossed Daniel's face as he came across the kitchen and hugged me.  
  
"I didn't know, I was just sounding like, well like me." I smiled, yawning. "Listen, Alice is coming and I need to start clearing the playroom a bit. So can you please take miss Isabelle here and let her finish feeding?" I transferred the tiny baby to Daniel's arms and headed upstairs, beginning to clean even at half past four in the morning.  
  
"Alice, my beautiful girl how are you?" I clasped my sister to me. She was five inches taller than I was, the one Pierce trait she seemed to have inherited was height.  
  
"I'm good Annie." She was nearly twenty, the spitting image of me, and absolutely beautiful. "How are the kids?"  
  
"They're good, Ben has a loose tooth, Felicity is wobbling all hers just to see if she has one, April is an angel as always, Jess is too clever on the piano for her own good, Lydia gets more beautiful everyday, and Danny is just about running." I explained. Danny had started walking alone at 40 weeks and was almost expert at it now.  
  
"Mum, Patrick, Chris, Grace, the twins Matt and his girlfriend of the week are coming for dinner tonight."  
  
Mum was down to her last five children who still lived at home, and the last unmarried ones, all my brothers and sisters were now married, and even my little Alice was engaged to a guy named Roger who was in Utica with his family, even though they wouldn't marry for another few years.  
  
"Goody!" Alice laughed, as I collected her bags. She was going to an art school in New York and was staying with me for the summer. She normally stayed with Mum or Roger, but I had wanted her company this summer as we were going to tell her about her father's identity.  
  
"Danny, this is your Aunty Alice, remember her?" I smiled as Danny toddled over, I picked him up and he chortled delightedly, indigo eyes alight.  
  
"Danny, come and say hello to Grandmamma!" Mum and everyone else had arrived. Hawkeye and Daniel got back from work and we settled down to dinner.  
  
"Alice, honey, there's something we've been meaning to tell you." Mum said, she knew we knew and wanted Alice to know as well, considering Daniel's near brush with death.  
  
"Yeah?" She looked up, she had been sketching Lydia and Grace together, commenting on the similarity in their eyes. Although Lydia still looked a lot like Tom, she was changing more, to look like Lily, and Mum.  
  
"Well, Alice, my darling . . ." Like me, Mum used the term 'darling' to mean one or all of her babies. "Annie, can you tell her? You were more of a mother than I was."  
  
"Alice, while you were at college, we found out something really interesting, about your real father." I said softly, taking my sister's hand. I had been like her mother for the first eight months of her life as Mum had been very sick for a long while after her birth, during which time Doctor Daniel as I then knew him, was a very regular visitor.  
  
"Do you know who he is?" Alice asked softly. "I don't know if I want to know, I mean I've never known him before. I don't know if I want to now."  
  
"Come here my beautiful girl." I pushed my chair back and motioned to my lap. She moved to sit on my lap and I cuddled her close like I would Ben, Felicity or any of my other darlings.  
  
"Listen Alice-my-Alice, you'll be surprised when I tell you. I don't know what you think, but I know your Daddy wants you to know who he is." I said softly, hugging her tightly.  
  
"I think he'd also want you to know how proud he is of you." Hawkeye said, and I saw him gently nudge Daniel.  
  
"And that he thinks you are very beautiful, and a smart girl, and that Roger is a very lucky man. He also wants to say sorry for not being around when you were little." Daniel caught the meaning of the prod, and continued.  
  
"Doctor Daniel, do you know my father?" Alice said nervously.  
  
"Yes I do, very well, I've known him every day of my life." Daniel replied carefully.  
  
"So have you met him Annie?"  
  
"Yes I have, I think he's a damn fine man, one of the nicest, kindest, most loving people to grace this earth." I said smiling at Daniel. He raised his glass in silent thanks. Mum remained silent.  
  
"Hawkeye's not my father is he?" Alice asked with a little giggle. I'd been heard to describe Hawkeye similarly on other occasions. "Can I ask you some questions about him then?"  
  
"Sure beautiful, fire away." I responded, Alice still cuddled on my lap.  
  
"When is his birthday?" It was an unusual question, and Alice plainly had no idea, so I answered straight.  
  
"Your Daddy was born on October 18 1897, that means he's going to be 63 on his next birthday." I replied.  
  
"What does he look like?" Alice said.  
  
"He's about as tall as Hawkeye, he's very handsome, deep blue eyes, and a full head of silver hair, as thick as it ever was." I began to be less subtle, hoping she'd catch my drift. She did.  
  
"He's in this room isn't he? Doctor Daniel is my father." Alice said, a scared look forming in her eyes.  
  
"Yes honey, Doctor Daniel and I had a relationship before you were born." Mum said at last, her voice shaking.  
  
"You? You!" Alice said, bursting, as I suspected she would, into tears. She buried her head in my shoulder, while I soothed her, rubbing her back and muttering nonsense to calm her.  
  
"I'm so sorry Alice, I didn't mean to hurt you, I offered to marry your mother but she said no." Dad said softly.  
  
"Mum, it was you? You stopped me from seeing my father?" Alice shouted, tears of rage and pain streaming down her face torrentially. "You never talked about him, you could have told me the truth!"  
  
"Alice, you have to understand the pressure that Doctor Daniel would have been under if the town knew he could have lost his job because of this baby." Mum said.  
  
"I don't want to understand Mum! I spent almost twenty years of my life, never knowing who my father was! Do you know how hard that is?"  
  
"Alice, my father died when I was two. That means that Rae, Eve, Jeremy, Andrew and even Jack didn't know him either, Andrew and Eve were born after he died. You're lucky you get to meet your father. I will never see my father, ever again, you don't know how lucky you are, I would give a lot to have even one memory of him. You have so much, you can still see your father, you can still hold him, and you can even remember him. I don't remember one thing about my dad." Alice's tears stopped and she gave a sniffle.  
  
"I guess I am lucky." She said quietly, suddenly realising the absurdity of it all, her, a 19year old, big girl sitting on her elder sister's knee and crying. "I must look so silly." She sniffled, returning to her seat.  
  
"No, I only hope that my girls will be happy to sit on my knee when they're 19." Margaret put in. She was staying for another two weeks, when Harold would return.  
  
"If you love them as much when they're 19 as you do when they're just four days old, they will." Hawkeye responded. Margaret smiled gratefully back at him.  
  
Daniel and Alice meanwhile had been studying each other with a slow, anxious curiosity, smiling nervously, unsure of what to say, or how to act. Finally, Daniel cleared his throat and stood up, stretching casually. Alice saw it too, and she stood up as well. They moved around the table to meet each other, and slowly embraced, Alice's tongue testing out a little-used word for the very first time.  
  
"Daddy." 


	28. August to September 1960:

August 1960  
  
"Alice my beautiful girl, Hawkeye and I would like to go out tonight . . ."  
  
"So you wanted to know if Roger and I could mind the kids, while Daniel's at work?" Alice finished with a grin.  
  
"Yeah." I admitted sheepishly. Edna had headed west for a visit, so leaving the kids with her was impossible.  
  
"Sure." Alice smiled. Her fiancé Roger was staying with us in the last two weeks of vacation, before they went back to college.  
  
"You are a darling my girl." I learned over to kiss her as my youngest three ran in. Danny hurled himself at my legs and asked me something in babble. Lydia hugged me too, but let Jess do the talking.  
  
"Mummy, Cathie says we can go play with her if you say so." Jess said. "And Ben and Lyss and April too." She added smiling at me pleadingly. I glanced outside, Cathie, and her two children were waiting with my older three.  
  
"Scoot, just make sure you hold hands when you cross the road, and don't be a nuisance!" I put Jess's hat on, and tied Lydia's shoes before sending them on their way. "Be back for lunch!" I called. Cathie nodded as she and the troupe headed towards the nearest park.  
  
"Hawkeye, we're going out, Alice and Roger are going to mind the kids!" I took hold of my husband as soon as he got in the door and kissed him.  
  
"Great!" He kissed me back as he dropped his bag by the door.  
  
"I know, it's great!" I laughed and led Hawkeye in. Alice had already started her babysitting duties, getting the kids' dinner. She loved caring for children, and I suspected would eventually give me many nieces and nephews.  
  
"Alice you're an angel!" I smiled. Roger had Danny on his knee, while Danny shovelled as much food in as he could with both fists. Roger didn't mind that Danny was spilling food all over his, Roger's not Danny's clothes.  
  
"Annie can I talk to you? Roger dear, watch the kids please." Alice led me into Dad's study and I perched on the desk. "You see Annie, there's something really important I want to talk to you about, and I suppose I should talk to Mum, or even Dad, but you're my big sister and you've been there and everything, and well. . ." She trailed off.  
  
"Honey, what is it?" I smiled softly, already figuring there was one thing that would make Alice this nervous.  
  
"Roger and I, we've never, you know, had sex, and we want to, but he has a single bed at home and you can't get the space at college, and I was wondering, would you care if we . . . tonight?" Alice blushed and dropped her eyes.  
  
"Oh, Alice!" She and Roger had moved to the spare room when Margaret had gone back to Fort Wayne. "I don't mind, that is if you get the kids to sleep. Have you, or he ever. . . ?" I didn't get to finish when Alice answered me.  
  
"No, I haven't. Neither has Roger. What's it like, your first time?" I thought back to a day a long time, almost ten years, before. Slow, careful touches, trying to prevent freezing in the December air, whispered endearments, and finally a sweet, painful pleasure, that I would remember always.  
  
"Amazing, you will have a good time honey. I don't mind what you do." I kissed her. She hugged me thankfully and I went upstairs to dress.  
  
"Hawkeye, come in here!" I was standing in the bathroom, having just got out of the shower and had noticed something as I stood, wrapped in a towel.  
  
"Yeah baby, what is it?" He came in, and looked puzzled as I stood there, the towel wrapped around my frame.  
  
"This." Without warning I let go of the towel and it fell to the floor Hawkeye's eyes visibly widened.  
  
"Honey, there's heaps of time later on tonight for that. . ." He trailed off weakly.  
  
"You silly, I mean, look at this, at me." I motioned to my figure. Hawkeye looked confused but approving. "It's me again, the not-pregnant me. The controlled emotions, regular periods, non-leaking breasts me. It's great!"  
  
"It's a beautiful you." Hawkeye agreed. I was finally the tiny, skinny me again, bigger hips and breasts than before, but the previously slim, muscular figure I had loved in Korea before I was pregnant was mine again.  
  
"I can't believe it, and look at my arms, who would've guessed that lifting the kids so often could give me such nice muscles? I'm me again, I love it." I smiled, beside myself.  
  
"We'll celebrate later okay? But we'd better hurry up if we're going to go." It wasn't anything big, just getting takeout in Portland and eating on the beach, but we wanted the time for us. We had a far easier time getting 'our' time than most couples, simply because we lived with Dad and Edna, most people didn't live in the same house as their parents, let alone the same city.  
  
"Goodnight Mate." Danny was going to bed at the same time we left, while the others were following half an hour or so later, and we were kissing them all goodnight. Danny hugged my neck, and he kissed me sleepily.  
  
"Come on," Hawkeye urged gently.  
  
"Okay Ben dearest, thankyou Alice, if they get sick, call Dad at work. Oh, and if you and Roger are planning what we talked about, you'll find what you need in the desk in our study." I gave her a knowing look and smiled. Roger looked confused, but Alice understood and with a thankful grin, closed the door behind us.  
  
Hawkeye and I had a very nice night, it was our special time, letting us be us and not worry about our six little darlings. We loved our kids, no two ways about that, but sometimes we needed adult time, to be adults.  
  
We returned home to very suspicious giggling from the spare room, and we left them well alone, not wanting to disturb them. So we tiptoed upstairs and checked on the kids, who thanks to my brilliant sister were sound asleep.  
  
Lydia was first, and I crept into the room, Lydia was tucked in bed sleeping beneath the green print blanket, Jade, her teddy watching over her. Her colour preference had changed from red to green and it was all over her room, pale green walls, cream curtains with emerald trim, even the carpet was a dark emerald green, while her blankets, sheets, pillowslips, and cushion on her chair were green too, and the furniture was a complimenting cream.  
  
"Sweet dreams Little One." Hawkeye had joined me and kissed his sleeping daughter, while I opened the window and let the sea air cool the room. We continued down the hall and into Danny's room. There was a light on and while Hawkeye checked on our boy, I turned it off, exchanging it for the dimmer night-light.  
  
Danny lay asleep in the white cot, wearing only his diaper and out like a light. His precious teddy, Felix clasped in a chubby arm. He still slept in the nursery, so there was nothing special about the white walls with the mother-goose wallpaper trim. The carpet was white and ruffled lace curtains were blowing in the breeze. It was truly the vision of a nursery, with a change table, and rocking chair, all in soft, pretty baby shades.  
  
We moved on to Ben's room. His room was blue, powder blue walls, with a ball and bat pattern painted by Alice around the ceiling, navy carpet and a dark wooden bed, a light blue bedspread, with ships on it. The rest of the furniture was the same dark wood, including the wardrobe. Though he no longer slept with him, Harold, his special teddy was not far away, sitting in his special place, under the window. Our eldest son was sound asleep, and so, after opening the window, moving the navy curtains to do so, Hawkeye and I went up to the third floor.  
  
There was a fourth bedroom on the 2nd floor, it was empty, but we planned to move Danny into it when he got a big bed and have the nursery empty. Our elder daughters slept upstairs, which we had made into smaller rooms. We had also put in a bathroom, so all up we had five bathrooms, which created less, but still too many traffic jams.  
  
Felicity probably had one of the nicest rooms. Peach walls and cream carpet, white curtains with tiny peach daisies all over them, it had a big window that faced west and seemed to glow in the setting sun. She was asleep in her white wicker bed, and didn't even wake when Hawkeye, and then I stubbed our toes noisily on it. I straightened up the heavy cotton bedspread that was the same shade as the walls. Except for her wardrobe and dressing table, all her furniture, chair, toy box, and bedside table were white wicker.  
  
"Where's Otis?" Hawkeye whispered. Felicity's teddy that rarely left the bed was missing and a brief search found him under her bed. Smiling, as Felicity took a hold of him without even waking, we moved onto Jess's room.  
  
Jess's room was purple. She loved purple, the carpet was a dark rich purple, the walls a soft lilac, her bedspread purple and white gingham checked. Bluey, her favourite teddy wore a purple vest as he lay on her pillow, the red-gold of her hair curling over the pillowslip and covering his face. Her room looked south, and on her windowsill, we'd put a planter box of violets.  
  
Jess hadn't chosen the colours for her room, actually none of them had. Hawkeye or I had picked the colours, according to what our children seemed to like the best. Danny's room we'd probably leave with the beige walls and carpet, the original colour scheme. Danny had no colour preference yet, liking simple, solid things, so we thought a plain room with a few special objects would suit him. Although all the children were happy with their rooms, we would repaint them if they wanted that, especially Ben in his particularly little-boy room.  
  
April was last, in her sunny yellow room that, like Felicity's faced west. In the half-light I stubbed my toes on the pine dresser that Charles had brought and sat down, in the overstuffed armchair that had appeared from somewhere. No one quite knew where it had come from, but the rust-coloured chair with the sunshine yellow cushions was quite welcome to stay where it was. Hawkeye meanwhile had pushed away the lacy mosquito net and tucked April in some more. Toby, her precious teddy was tucked in too.  
  
"You okay?" Hawkeye asked as he turned off the lamp beside April's bed.  
  
"Fine." I replied, as Hawkeye opened her window. The room was unpleasantly stuffy in the late summer night. He padded back across the yellow carpet, the curtains with the bright sunflower print settling back into place.  
  
"Come on, up and at em." Hawkeye pulled me to my feet, and then picked me up. I cuddled into his arms and he carried me down to bed. We snuggled in warmly, and after some teasing decided we had better get supplies from the study before things got too heated. None of the kids were allowed in Dad's study and the same rule applied for Hawkeye's and my study, and that was why we kept things they weren't supposed to touch, like condoms, there.  
  
"Babes, there's none here." Hawkeye called. I realised then where they'd be.  
  
"Alice has them." I said. "She and Roger were going to pop the cork if you will, and I told her she'd find what she needed up here. I can go down and get them if you want."  
  
"Are you sure? They won't like being disturbed." Hawkeye had crawled back into bed.  
  
"Well, do you think you can get out before you loose it?" I queried shifting onto my back a little.  
  
"Are you crazy? That feeling I get when you go over, I'll be damned if it doesn't send me all the way to the edge of insanity with you." He was making the most of my exposed stomach, rubbing it with one hand, sending shivers through my whole body.  
  
"Thankyou darling. I'll go down and get them." I chose to take his last comment as a complement.  
  
"My love, come on, what are the odds you'll get pregnant?" He pulled me down a little firmer and kissed me.  
  
"What are the odds I won't? Listen, Ben, darling, I love you very much, and when Danny is a little older, in maybe a year or so, I will want another baby. But I don't want one yet. Now let me go." I got out of bed and retrieved them from Alice without any worry and Hawkeye and I had a lot of fun.  
  
"Bye Aunty Alice, I'll miss you." Felicity hugged her aunt tightly. Alice and Roger were returning to school, and we were seeing them off at Portland airport. We saw them off and returned home. In a few days the twins were starting first grade and April was going to kindy, so everything was in a reasonable panic.  
  
"Charlie, hi!" I opened the door. It was the night before April started school, so Charles had come up to see his daughter off. Although he wanted her to attend a prestigious school in Boston, I had laid down the law and said that no child of mine was going to be that far away when they were so young, regardless of importance, or social status. He agreed, but said that when she was older, she could if she wanted, live in Boston and attend the school.  
  
"Need a hand?" I had Danny on my hip, someone's dinner in my hand, and Jess trailing at my heels sobbing. I didn't want to think about her first day and the inevitable tears.  
  
"No, thankyou Charlie." I smiled, leaning forward to press a kiss to his cheek. "Don't argue with me, I know you're not the domestic type." I retorted when he began to insist. "Come on in." I turned around, and went through the hall and into the kitchen, paying no attention whatsoever to Jess who still trailed after me, crying.  
  
"How've you been?" I asked, putting Danny in his highchair and setting the bowl of food I carried in front of Lydia. I still ignored Jess, she was making a fuss about simply missing her grandfather who was at work, and I hoped she'd wear herself out, as there was nothing I could do about it.  
  
"I've been very well Annie. Tea thankyou." He responded to my query. Jess still cried as she followed me around.  
  
"April is outside if you want to say hi to her. She doesn't know you're coming yet, it's a surprise." I explained, setting a cup of tea before Charles. "Hold on Mate, your dinner is coming."  
  
"Can I help with Jess?" Charles asked anxiously. My daughter was still walking around after me crying.  
  
"She's just throwing a tantrum." I sighed. "I'll deal with it in a minute." I gave Danny his dinner and a bottle and left him to feed himself. He shovelled food in with both fists and spread it over his face. I set three more plates of food down, for my older kids, and hollered out the window that it was dinnertime.  
  
"Hawkeye and Daniel will be back at 8, we'll eat then, I hope you don't mind waiting." I said, as Ben, Felicity and April ran inside. Charles barely had time to reply before April spotted her much-loved father.  
  
"Daddy!" A mass of brown curls hurled itself at Charles. April knew that Charles was her father, and that Hawkeye was everyone else's. She didn't ask questions yet, but we had series of planned answers for the barrage of questions we thought would come when she started school.  
  
"April, you're more beautiful everyday!" Charles embraced his only child with love. It was a joy to see them together; I loved watching how much the seemingly unfeeling, pompous Charles Emerson Winchester III plainly adored his daughter.  
  
"I missed you Daddy, I missed you all this much!" She spread her arms, stuttering on every other word. Emotion triggered her stuttering, anger, sadness, weariness, fear or excitement increasing the frequency of extra syllables.  
  
"I missed you too Angel-eyes. I believe your gastronomically inclined mother has prepared you a repast fit for a queen. So how about you take yourself to the plate of closest proximity to myself and test out her culinary skills?"  
  
"You talk funny Daddy!" April giggled. "What do you mean?"  
  
"He means sit down and eat your dinner Angel-face." I explained, kissing her on the head as I got Lydia a drink.  
  
"Yes Mummy, is Daddy staying tonight?" April climbed into Charles's lap and pulled her plate to her.  
  
"Yes he is my darling, and tomorrow night as well." I replied, turning now to Jess and kneeling before my sobbing child. I gathered her close. It was clear this storm wasn't going to blow itself out.  
  
"What's the problem my Baby? Oh, shh, shh, shh, it's not that bad is it?" I crooned nonsensically, picking her up in one arm and redirecting the nipple of Danny's bottle to his mouth and away from Lydia's face.  
  
"Mum, can I have some juice please?" Ben asked sweetly as I wiped milk off Lydia's pretty chin.  
  
"In a second Sport, I just need to quiet Jess down a bit." I sat down and settled Jessica on my lap. Fortunately, like the darling he was, my eldest son smiled amiably and agreed to wait.  
  
"I miss Grandpa, why he work?" Jess sobbed, I rocked my daughter gently. I loved her very much, just like I loved all of my children, but for some reason I felt I had to protect Jess more because of her resemblance to Katharine.  
  
"Oh my Baby Jess, Grandpa has to work. He loves you a lot my darling child, and when he works, he gets money, and do you know why he gets money Baby?" She shook her head, tearstained cheeks flushed.  
  
"No why?" She asked.  
  
"Because my special girl, he buys things with money. He bought you that hair ribbon, with money he got for working." I tugged on the mauve ribbon loosely binding the mass of strawberry-blonde curls.  
  
"Really?" She looked up, her eyes the colour of seawater, still teary and ready to burst at the slightest provocation.  
  
"Really! I would never lie to you." I said. "Will you sit down and eat, so I can get Benny-boy some juice?"  
  
"Can I have some too?" She asked. I agreed, and finally, peace reigned.  
  
Later, Hawkeye, Charles, Edna and I sat on the back porch. Hawkeye, Daniel Edna and I shared the back porch swing, a beautiful one that Hawkeye and Daniel had built, and Charles relaxed in a chair nearby. The backyard faced east and just beyond the wooden back fence, was a sloping hill, leading straight to the beach and we could heard the waves crashing on the shoreline as the tide came in, bringing back the late fishing boats.  
  
"She misses you terribly Dad, she cried for fifteen minutes non-stop." I said, leaning comfortably into Hawkeye's chest, hearing his heartbeat.  
  
"I shouldn't have held her for so long when she was born should I?" Daniel asked. He sometimes felt guilty about how close Jess was to him, and how much of a fuss she sometimes made to get away from me to be with him.  
  
"Don't you ever say that Dad! You delivered her, and you had every right to hold her. I'm not surprised she made that bond with you, I think I was too out of things anyway to make that connection. Besides, it's Katharine's way of letting you know that she's still alive."  
  
"I wish I had been there for April's birth." Charles spoke up. "I would have given anything to deliver my daughter, to be the one to hold her, to congratulate her mother, my wife." In the evening, Charles often got quiet and wishful, remembering what he had with me, what could have been, and what plainly wasn't ever going to be again.  
  
"I wish you had been there too Charlie dear. I doubt it would have changed things between us, but I wish you had been there to see April when she was born. There is nothing like holding your newborn when they are a minute old." I still called him 'Charlie dear', and he still called me Annie, it was the only friendship he had with anyone that had no barriers, no walls and no reservations.  
  
"Charles, this is rather personal but I've come to think that Annie became another Martine didn't she?" Tears shone in Charles's eyes at the thought of the only other woman he had ever loved as much as me.  
  
"Martine?" Daniel queried at Hawkeye's statement that had obviously struck a tender chord with Charles.  
  
"Part of the French Red-Cross, beautiful woman." Charles sounded choked up. "We became very close. But my family could never accept her bohemian ways." A tear trickled down my cheek, I knew the pain Martine had been through, and the pain she had been spared from his family when Charles turned her away. "I was prepared to take the chance with Annie though, I thought perhaps she would be, well considered suitable." He finished sadly.  
  
"Oh that's awful, having to marry according to your family and not out of love." Edna said.  
  
"I proposed to Annie out of love." Charles whispered. "I followed my heart not my head." There was an awkward silence, in which no one said anything, not sure how to respond to Charles. Thankfully, Dad broke the silence.  
  
"I'm off to bed, goodnight all." Dad stood up. "Sweet dreams kids." He called over his shoulder.  
  
"I might go too, I'm real tired. Sleep tight guys." Edna followed her husband in. We could plainly hear their voices, laughing and talking affectionately, followed by their footsteps towards their room.  
  
"That wasn't very subtle." Charles commented. Hawkeye and I laughed. Dad and Edna loved each other very much, but we didn't know, or didn't want to know as it were, whether or not they still had sex, but if they were happy doing whatever it was they did, we didn't care.  
  
"I'm going to bed." Hawkeye said suddenly.  
  
"Don't even think about it. Not only do we have a guest and we don't want to interrupt their sleep with the inevitable noise one or the other of us will make, but Jess is asleep in our bed, and it is not the greatest time of the month for that activity." I laughed, pushing an amorous Hawkeye away.  
  
"I'm going too, I presume April is still there?" April had insisted on sleeping with her father.  
  
"No reason she shouldn't be." I replied. "I think it's a good time to get to bed. The day starts at 6am folks."  
  
"Ahhh the joys of parenthood." Hawkeye said masking his voice so well I couldn't tell whether or not it was sarcastic. We all went to bed then, trying to get enough sleep to be properly prepared for April's first day.  
  
I woke in the morning, and saw that there was a fair-skinned girl curled against my body, her strawberry-blonde curls messily spread over the sheet. I was facing away from Hawkeye, but I knew he was still asleep, his foot resting against my ankle as he slept. The door opened a crack and I heard someone tiptoe in.  
  
"Mummy wake up I'm going to school!" It was my little April, stuttering with joy.  
  
"Yes Mummy, wake up, our daughter's going to school." Charles echoed, coming into the room. Hawkeye muttered a threat or two as April climbed onto the bed and squirmed under the blankets.  
  
"Mummy, Mummy, get out of bed, why can you sleep? I got to go to school!"  
  
"Yes Mummy how can you lie there asleep?" Charles chided gently with a warm smile in his voice. "April has school you know." Jess woke up then, and I had to too, for my baby daughter, though four, and with a younger brother and sister, she was still my baby, had begun to play with my eyelids and pat my cheeks  
  
"Oh, Baby doll, come here." I pulled her close for a cuddle before getting up and poking Hawkeye. April had begun to work on him, pulling his ears, while he pretended to growl like a dog. Finally he 'attacked' her pulling her beneath the blankets while she screamed with laughter.  
  
"Right!" I hollered, seeing that I was the one left with making up the bed. "Everyone out!" Sheepishly Hawkeye and April emerged from beneath the covers.  
  
"April, it's about time you had a shower, Charles do you want to do the honours?"  
  
"Of course." He led his daughter downstairs towards his bathroom. I went upstairs and assisted Felicity, while I heard Hawkeye, Ben, and Danny busying themselves in our en suite, Lydia and Edna in the other second- floor bathroom and Dad and Jess in his en suite.  
  
Some minutes later six beautifully clean children met for breakfast, while five not-so-clean adults, still wearing pyjamas took it turns of cooking and showering. Sure life was full on but I loved it.  
  
"I can't believe our little girl is growing up." Charles said, standing next to me, as I rinsed plates in the sink.  
  
"She's got a long way to go yet." I stated wisely. "There are so many more first times to come, like her first day of high school, her first dance, her first kiss, there are so many firsts I can't count them all."  
  
"All of which I hope to be there for" Charles smiled. He put his arm around my waist and I cuddled into him a little, watching as April struggled with her laces while she sat on the back step.  
  
"Alright you two, no need to get too cosy!" Hawkeye announced his arrival noisily, startling us a little as we were still watching April's now triumphant battle with her laces.  
  
"Come and see." I beckoned to Hawkeye, and he joined Charles and I at the window as April tied her other shoe and stood up proudly.  
  
"I did it, Daddy, Mummy, I did up my shoes!" April ran into the house beaming. Charles and I fell to our knees beside her, laughing and hugging her proudly.  
  
"I'm so proud of you Angel!"  
  
"That's Daddy's little girl, isn't she wonderful?" Charles stated proudly, clasping both of us in a tight hug.  
  
"She's Mummy's little girl too, and you admitted to me that you couldn't tie your laces till you were 8, it must be my genes." I retorted, kissing April's pretty face.  
  
"Very well, Annie darling, we'll let Mummy have her little delusions won't we my Angel?" Charles smirked, and kissed me on the temple. I laughed and kissed Charles on the cheek. At that point Hawkeye cleared his throat.  
  
"I have to leave for work now honey." His smile was slightly steely.  
  
"Okay, everyone, it's time to say goodbye to Daddy and Grandpa, because they're going to work!" I announced, and the other five, kids, Lydia and Danny being carried, emerged from various parts of the house.  
  
"Bye Dad, yes, I'll stop by and bring you lunch, of course on rye." I kissed the older man's face gently. After having the heart attack, I hated him going to work, but couldn't help it.  
  
"Annie, can I have a word with you before I leave?" Hawkeye asked a little coldly, but I decided to play it by ear, responding cheerfully.  
  
"Sure Ben dear, one second. April, Ben Felicity, wait in the living room. Don't turn the Television on. Jess honey, could you Lyddie and Danny go upstairs? Charles, I'll be back in a minute." Hawkeye and I stepped into the hall.  
  
"What's up with you and Charles today?" I was leaning against the wall as Hawkeye paced in front of me.  
  
"What?" I jumped at the rather harsh tone and surprising query.  
  
"I don't know if I should leave you alone when you and him are like that."  
  
"Like what?" I demanded, there had been nothing overly odd about our behaviour this morning.  
  
"Kissing each other like that, the way you fawned all over each other when April tied her shoe."  
  
"Do you remember how you and I celebrated when Ben tied his shoe the first time?" We'd had sex the same night.  
  
"But you're married, Charles has no right to kiss you."  
  
"Hawkeye, BJ kisses me on the lips, and you don't even worry about that, I'm pretty sure that you and Peggy kiss each other lip-to-lip and neither BJ nor I make a fuss, and you're worried about the father of my daughter, who is merely excited because it is her first day at school?"  
  
"When you put it that way it does seem stupid." Hawkeye admitted a smile forming slowly on his face, almost an invitation to me to smile as well. I accepted it, a beam forming gently on my lips.  
  
"You silly," I said sounding choked up, "There's no one in this world I love more than you. There is also no one in the world I'd rather kiss right now." He took the hint and when Daniel appeared in the hall it took a while before we noticed him.  
  
"Okay guys, say goodbye to Ma now and we'll walk to school." Charles and I escorted the three elder children out the door.  
  
"After dropping the twins off at their classroom, I joined Charles and April outside the kindergarten room where Miss K was cheerfully introducing herself to a small boy who looked terrified. April bravely went in without even arguing and Charles and I walked back.  
  
"What did Hawkeye want, that is if you don't feel it is too private?" Charles asked quietly as we got into the house. I could hear my youngest three playing upstairs with Edna.  
  
"He was just a little concerned, we were a bit more all over each other than normal. Nothing big, he understands."  
  
"I'm terribly sorry Annie. I had no idea. . ."  
  
"Shut up, it was nothing big merely a misunderstanding, we've made up." I silenced him instantly.  
  
"I'm thrilled to hear that." Charles responded sincerely. I smiled and we went upstairs where we played with Lyddie, Jess and Danny till lunch, after which I had to put in a shift at the hospital so Charles had to get April.  
  
The rest of the day went off peacefully. My shift was quiet, April loved school, the twins loved their grade one teacher Mrs Tillman, Lydia and Danny slept full naps, Jess managed a whole day without tears, Edna cooked a fabulous dinner, and Hawkeye and Daniel returned in good moods, having told no less than five women between them that they were expecting. As I sat listening to everyone's stories and I told my own, I realised how busy and full on my life was. However, I couldn't have cared less. I adored it. 


	29. February 1961: A Time Of Learning

A/N: The poem "Owl and The Pussycat" isn't mine. Thanks to Terri, Kilikina and Satan's Apprentice and everyone else, who I have been neglecting, for reviews!  
  
February 1961  
  
"Then you just throw it and . . ." Three apples clattered to the ground. Hawkeye had been trying to teach me to juggle for the past week, and now as we both had the evening off with all the kids in bed, I was failing dismally.  
  
"Edna will spew when she sees those apples." Hawkeye grinned. I shrugged as I picked up the bruised fruit. Danny loved stewed apples, and I was happy to oblige my 19mo son's appetite by cooking my juggling accidents. He was a big, big boy, with his father's height, and a sturdy little frame, quite unlike Hawkeye or myself.  
  
"Never mind." I laughed. "I know practise makes perfect, so what say we practise for something else?" With Danny's second birthday (and my 35th) on the way, another, final child was on our agenda. We'd decided to leave it until the summer to attempt conception but it didn't mean that we weren't going to put in plenty of practise first.  
  
"You're feeling feisty tonight honey." Hawkeye stated. I laughed and we headed upstairs.  
  
The next morning, things were busy as I served breakfast with the phone jammed under my ear, giving Margaret advice about her 8mo daughters; Hannah didn't want to crawl, and Isabelle didn't want to sleep. Hawkeye had lost something, Dad cut himself shaving, and Edna was muttering as she tried to find an unbruised apple. Felicity was brushing her hair under the table, Ben was scrabbling under the sofas looking for his missing sneaker, April was refusing to go to school, Jess was screaming blue murder because her teddy was missing, Lydia was traipsing around nude, no idea how or why, and Danny was running around with a football, a Christmas gift from Colonel Potter who had come east for the holiday, which had now become his most treasured possession.  
  
"Yes Margaret, no Margaret, of course I will Margaret, I hope to see you soon too. I love you, and I really have to go." I hung up, Margaret didn't often ring at a bad time for me, but she was at her wits' end with two boisterous daughters and a father whose disinterest in his offspring grew as the girls became more feminine.  
  
"Okay Lydia get dressed, Edna I'll pick up some more apples at the store today and I'll buy myself some tennis balls as well. April honey, there's nothing wrong with school is there. You just had a bad day yesterday." A new boy named Mike had joined her class and April and he hadn't hit it off.  
  
"Felicity, get out from under there, your hair looks fine, now can you help Jess find her teddy? Ben it's in the box in the laundry with the outdoor toys, Danny, call a timeout you'll vomit if you run around that much after such a big breakfast." I intercepted my son in one arm and caught Lydia in the other.  
  
With Jess content with her teddy, the youngest two dressed, and the twins walking to school with Cathie, I turned now to April who had an afternoon class.  
  
"April honey, what's wrong?" I cuddled my daughter, mindful of the fact that I was nearly late for work. I had another shift on at the hospital again as a ward nurse 9am-3pm, followed by the midnight-6am shift in ER. I didn't know how or why I'd been double booked but as there was no one to relieve me, I had to pull both shifts.  
  
"I don't like school, Mike is mean to me!" April sobbed. "He makes fun of how I talk." April's stutter had initially caused a bit of interest from her classmates, but was now ignored at pain of lunchtime detention.  
  
"April, he's just new, I'll bet he's never seen anyone who talks quite like you before, and he can't understand how you talk in your unique way."  
  
"What's you-nick?" April asked, sounding the word out carefully, having never heard it before.  
  
"Unique Angel, means one-of-a-kind and special just like you are my darling." April's tears stilled.  
  
"So, my ever beautiful Angel-face, how about you promise to go to school today, and give it one more try? I'll be home in the afternoon, so you can talk to me and tell me how it went okay darling. Ma is home all day, so she'll take you to Kinder, but I have to."  
  
"Annie! Get your cute little tush out in the car or you're gonna be walking to work!" Hawkeye, who was driving me to Portland, had to make a house call in precisely 23 minutes, 20 of which would be occupied in getting me to the hospital.  
  
"Okay Angel, I have to go, so be good okay. I love you."  
  
"Annie, come on!" Hawkeye hollered thumping on the horn.  
  
"ALRIGHT!" I shouted back, handing April over to Edna, grabbing my bag, shoes, stockings and hair clasp from the hall table and dashing out to the car barefoot. My feet froze in the frost that was still on the ground, and I was grateful when I could sink into the car and finish dressing.  
  
"Sorry about that, it's just that I had to have a little chat with April." I explained as we turned onto the main road to Portland. "Her stutter is causing some unwarranted attention."  
  
"That new kid she mentioned?" Hawkeye asked, stopping at an intersection, and ducking as my elbow narrowly missed his head while I did my hair.  
  
"Yeah, I'm thinking maybe a trip to Boston is in order, to see Aunt Nora. She stutters too, it's something in the genes we think. Apparently my father stuttered. April just got the gene from both Charles and I."  
  
"Makes sense." Hawkeye murmured, "It might do her good." He agreed louder, smiling briefly at me.  
  
"Anyhow, we'll talk, have fun today, love you" We had arrived at the hospital and I dashed in, coming on just in time, and relieving the weary nurse.  
  
I got home from a relatively uneventful day at work, to find Ben, Felicity and some of their little mates playing on the lawn, I smiled, Ben and Felicity weren't going to be as close as Jack and I had been for the first 25years of our lives, but I was happy to see them playing together anyway.  
  
"Mum, April is inside, she's real upset about something." Felicity informed me. I threaded my way through the cowboy and Indians game that was happening and into the house.  
  
"Annie, we're in here." Daniel called from his study. I went in, dropping my bag by the front door, scaring Glory, who was napping, she yelped and dashed into the laundry, where she bolted out the door and hid in the kennel.  
  
"Oh, my Angel, Mike didn't tease you again did he?" My daughter sat, tears pouring down her face, on Daniel's lap while he tried to console her. "Where's Edna?" This was to Daniel.  
  
"Upstairs, Lydia's had a long nap, so she's waking her so we can sleep tonight." We all knew if Lyddie slept too long at naptime, she'd never go to bed. By now, I'd sat down beside Dad and April was on my lap, crying.  
  
"April, sweetheart, is the new boy really that bad to you my angel?" April nodded, cuddling against me.  
  
"He's gotten Timmy, and Maria and Aunty Alice's friend to tease me too!" She wailed. Aunty Alice's friend was Clara, who had sat for April once or twice, however, it was not Clara but her young niece, Laura.  
  
"Angel, don't listen to them, they're just silly children. Would it make you feel better if you went and stayed with Daddy and Aunt Nora for a while?" I hugged my daughter soothingly.  
  
"Y-y-y-yes m-m-m-Mum." She sobbed inconsolably. I sighed, kids were so cruel sometimes and April's stutter seemed to be fodder for their teasing. I sat with her for a while, hugging her and rocking softly.  
  
"Angel-eyes, how about Grandpa takes you upstairs to have a bath while I call Daddy? A nice hot bath before supper will make you feel heaps better and then we can sit down and talk about this a little more when you're calmer." I put this suggestion forward, once April's tears had stopped. She nodded and took Dad's hand.  
  
"I've got to make a house call at 4.30." Dad said as he led April from the room.  
  
"I'll call you Dad, and thanks. Where's Jess?" I'd promised to teach her a song on the piano, but I hoped she'd forget about that until after I'd called Charles.  
  
"Playroom." Dad called as he and April went upstairs. I settled down and picked up the phone.  
  
"Clarissa, it's Annabelle Pierce, could I speak to Charles please?" I said soon as the maid picked up the phone. I was told yes, and in a few seconds Charles had it picked up.  
  
"Charlie dear, I was wondering if you had room for your daughter to stay for a little while."  
  
"Certainly Annie, I'd love to have her here, as would mother and Honoria. But why?"  
  
"She's been teased at school about her stutter, and I think that some time with Nora, and yourself may help."  
  
"Of course she can stay! I can drive up even tonight if you like. But when did this start?"  
  
"Two, maybe three days ago, but she's taken it really hard. It's a new kid who started it, and I want to get in early before it gets too bad." I explained. "Hey mate, Mummy will kiss it better." I added as Danny ran in, football in hand, crying about a bumped head sustained playing football and climbed onto my lap. He settled there as I kissed the little bruise and listened to Charles's response.  
  
"I see your point Anne, I'm sorry I'm not there now, when she needs me. When would you like me to come up?"  
  
"Tomorrow, I'd like to try one more day of school. I also need to arrange time off for her. It's now 4, and I'm due for an ER shift in 8hours, and I need to eat, teach Jess a song, sleep if possible, listen to BJ and Lyssa's reading, talk to April more, play football with Danny, spend time with Lydia and practise juggling, so I really have to go."  
  
"Of course Annie, I shall drive up tomorrow night. Honoria may come too, so April gets to know her better."  
  
"That's fine you can both stay the night, I won't have you driving back so late, it'd be a strain on you."  
  
"Of course, now you must go." Charles and I said goodbye, and Danny and I began a raucous game of football in the living room, which eventually the whole family joined in even April and Edna, April feeling as I had predicted much better after her bath. The game ended when Dad left for his house call.  
  
"I learn song now Mummy?" Jess wanted to begin and my beautiful daughter and I sat down at the piano.  
  
"Baby, it's like this." I played her the piece, "When a note is here, on the fourth line, it's always a D, which is right here, between the two black notes." I was talking treble, not bass, in which case the fourth line of the stave was F.  
  
"Like this?" Jess got it wrong again. She was struggling to comprehend putting what she saw, onto the keyboard. However, at going 5, she was still very good and amazingly persistent.  
  
"Honey, remember this bit here, see." I pointed and played simultaneously "Now, I promised Ben and Felicity I would listen to their reading tonight honey, so can you practise until dinner?" She agreed and I called the twins.  
  
"Okay, chickadees! Let's get reading." Edna was cooking, so I had enough time to attend to my family. Ben and Felicity settled on the sofa, Captain dozing underneath and read their books.  
  
"Ben, when you see that 'p' and that letter 'l' together, they make a sound like 'pl' Sport, like in plenty." Ben wasn't the greatest reader, while Felicity had finished minutes earlier and was helping Edna with supper. "Try to read the next sentence okay?"  
  
"The ow-owl look-ed u-p, up to the stars a-a-above." He stammered through the sentence.  
  
"Darling, that was good, that word is funny I know, guitar." I explained. Ben read it again, and this time got guitar right but said that the owl was singing to the 'puh-sea' as in pus, the smelly yellow gunk in an infected wound.  
  
Slowly, we finished the book, by which time I was finding my tolerance pushed, Ben was in frustrated tears and supper was ready. We adjourned to the dining room where April was sitting under the table. The table was very much loved and at anytime of the day, I could find one or all of my children playing under there.  
  
"Never mind Sport, everyone has something they find harder." Hawkeye soothed. "You'll learn in time." I smiled at my wonderful husband, the phone rang and I hurried to pick it up. I was hoping they'd found a nurse to cover me, instead it was an old familiar voice on the other end of the line.  
  
"Hey-hey, Max here!" I laughed at Klinger's familiar speech.  
  
"Hi Max, how are you? Great, and Soon-Lee? That's lovely to hear! And the boys? Oh, that's fabulous!" Stephen, the younger of the two boys already adored baseball and 'Strike!' was among his first words.  
  
"Say, Anne, you remember that baby that was at the camp, the time when you worked at the orphanage for a week by way of reality check?" I told him yes, and he continued "Well, we found out what happened to her."  
  
"Oh, Klinger what?" I still called him Klinger, it was an appalling habit I had. "It's good news isn't it?"  
  
"In a few weeks, Soon-Lee and I are having a child, an nine-year-old Korean- American named Madeline."  
  
"Klinger, that is the best news I've heard in a long time! I'm so happy for you!" I was thrilled. "How?"  
  
"She was sent to France and was raised in a convent with other Amerasian orphans. They searched mixed race marriages to find families for them, and when they came across us, they asked if we'd consider adopting. Well, we said yes, we'd love to have a daughter. We've discovered from a few photos they've sent us it's the baby."  
  
"Max, that is lovely! I'm so happy for you. And of course, for Madeline!"  
  
"Here's the thing, my family's. . ."  
  
"Dead, pregnant, in jail?" Klinger laughed and continued.  
  
"Unable to mind the two boys while Soon-Lee and I travel to France in three weeks. They're going out of town for my Uncle Abdul's first wife's niece's daughter's wedding. This is where you come in, I was wondering if you'd be able to mind Max and Stephen for a while?" I lost him at "out of town", but offered to help.  
  
"I don't see why not, but listen, I'm due at the hospital in five hours, so I'll have to call you back soon, there are six little munchkins here waiting for me to get them to bed."  
  
"Of course, but please, let me know." I agreed, and we hung up. I told Hawkeye the news, he was suitably thrilled, he had loved the little girl when she had stayed with them and was glad to hear she would be getting a new home. He also agreed the boys could stay, but I would call Klinger back in a few days when things were less hectic.  
  
"Alright, Danny-boy it's bath time, let's go. Lydia you're next." By 8, all six children were bathed and asleep, much to my amazement. So, I settled down on my bed to juggle, while Hawkeye pondered a patient in the study.  
  
"Damn!" I'd nearly got up a nice rhythm, which I promptly lost and the balls bounced harmlessly onto the bed.  
  
"Practise my girl!" Hawkeye called. I tried a little longer, and then fell asleep, to have Hawkeye wake me at 10.  
  
"Anne my love, you've got to go to work again." He shook me gently, wearing his pyjamas, ready for bed himself.  
  
"Thanks Ben dear," I roused myself and was soon in the ER of Portland General. The night wasn't too busy, and although the hospital was understaffed, we were also lacking in patients, making it a reasonably easy shift.  
  
"Nurse Pierce, report to Psychiatry immediately!" I jumped, and wondered why I'd be pulled off my post. However I headed over to the Psych ward at once. A doctor met me.  
  
"Pierce, we've been talking to a Doctor Freedman, he's a psychiatrist in Manhattan, about an patient who came in today, it seems Dr Freedman knows of you and he told us to let you talk to the patient. The patient's not talking to anyone. Here's his room." I went in, the man lay on his bed, he was facing the wall and didn't even look up when I came in. I said hello but he didn't reply, in fact he continued to ignore my presence as I checked his name.  
  
"Listen, umm, Jim." I said, "I'm Annabelle Pierce, I was told to come and say hello to you." He rolled over and looked at me, I recognised the face at once, he recognised me too.  
  
"Annie! Annie Pierce!" He sat up and offered me a seat beside him.  
  
"Jim, it's so good to see you! How are you?" He shook his head, misery in every feature. "Is it why you're here?" I asked softly. Slowly, hesitatingly, Jim began his story.  
  
"A bunch of guys found out about me. You see, I have this, well, friend. Chris Stallone. " He looked away.  
  
"Chris is more than a friend?" Jim nodded. Jim was the homosexual patient I'd met at the 4077th.  
  
"He was, he's dead. I don't know what the word is, but I go for girls too. Chris found out, and he got drunk, and then started shouting. Some gang that were outside the bar heard and they beat up on us. I got away, and I just kept running. I was found later, pretty bashed up, I didn't say a word, so they stuck me here in the Pysch ward."  
  
"It's okay Jim," I said, tears pricking in my eyes. "Why haven't you spoken?"  
  
"Because, they killed him, and they would've killed me too, but I was a coward and I ran, he protected me and told me to run, so I did. I didn't fight them, I just ran like a coward and my best friend died because of it." Jim's tears were leaving a wet patch on my shoulder that was soaking through to my skin.  
  
"Jim, I bet Chris was running too, if you'd both fought, you against all those others, you would have died too. Both of you, or maybe just you, how would you think Chris would feel if you were dead and he wasn't?"  
  
"Like I do now." Jim answered.  
  
"Or would he say that he was lucky? That you gave him the gift of a second chance at life? Because that's what Chris did for you. Did you love Chris?"  
  
"Very much, we . . ."  
  
"Don't go into details. But he loved you, and because of that he wanted to protect you, and he did."  
  
"I'm still a coward Anne, I should have fought."  
  
"And maybe you should have, but where would that have got you? Dead. You're much more useful on this planet as a living human being rather than another senseless casualty of discrimination."  
  
"I see your point now Annie." Jim stopped crying and smiled.  
  
"Good, I hoped so. Of course Jim, you do understand, that you're a long way from better. The doctor will talk to you lots more. I'm not a psych, I'm just a nurse." It was an old joke that I was glad to see Jim plainly remembered.  
  
"I know, I will, and you can't be a psych, you're not screwed up enough." We burst into laughter, each peal echoing around the quiet hospital. It brought several nurses and interns running.  
  
"Get Dr Gaylor!" Jim and I kept laughing and Dr Gaylor, fearing something was terribly wrong came at a run. He too, started to laugh when he saw us laughing hysterically.  
  
"Congratulations Pierce, I'm glad we spoke to doctor Freedman. He was the one who recommended you." Gaylor said, clearing the audience away. "You can return to your post."  
  
"Wait a minute. Jim, I'm sure you'll have a very happy life, whether you choose to live it with a Chris or a Christine." I smiled from the doorway. Gaylor gave me a smile saying thankyou.  
  
"Would it be permissible for the patient to hug the nurse?" Jim asked, I caught the Dr's eyes.  
  
"I don't see why not." He said with a laugh. He'd figured that we already knew each other before.  
  
"Thankyou so much Annie." Jim wrapped me in a bear hug I returned it with a grin and went back to the ER.  
  
By the end of my shift I was suitably exhausted, and caught a cab back home. It was nearly seven when I dragged myself into the house, and I was shocked to find everyone still asleep, so after rousing them all and seeing them off to school and work, even April agreed to try one more day, I went upstairs and fell asleep with Danny.  
  
It turned out April hadn't enjoyed her day at school and I had to pick her up from the office at lunchtime, sobbing her beautiful little eyes out. Not surprisingly I was exhausted, 5hours' sleep and a 6hour shift didn't add up, and I was finding my patience very much tried.  
  
"April, baby just settle down, Daddy and maybe Aunt Nora are coming tonight and you're going to go stay with them for three days." I massaged my head and took along sip of coffee. Fortunately April was pretty tired from crying and went to sleep, while I rang Klinger and arranged when his kids would be staying with us.  
  
"We'll see you then." I hung up. In a little over two weeks, almost 5yo Max Jr and 2yo Stephen would be joining our family for almost a month while Klinger and Soon-Lee adopted Madeline. As they had to leave from New York, Max and Soon-Lee would do an overnighter in the Cove. We were quite happy with that arrangement, and we hoped by then that I would have mastered juggling, April would be calmer about stuttering, and Ben's reading would have improved.  
  
"Charlie, Nora, I'm so glad you made it!" I opened the door, Danny on my hip. I embraced Charles, and then Nora.  
  
"Anything for April." I kissed Charles's face, which promptly blushed very red.  
  
"Come on in, Nora, this is my place, the boy here is my youngest, Daniel." Danny smiled perkily, realising he was the topic of conversation. Nora, maternal (very!) fell in love at first sight. A few seconds later, we made it into the lounge Danny cuddled in Nora's arms, while Charles carried the overnight bags.  
  
"Where's April?" Charles asked, upon seeing that Lydia and Jess played with the dogs and Edna, Felicity and Dad were cooking, and Ben and Hawkeye were outside.  
  
"Sleeping, she's worn herself out with all her tears." I replied.  
  
"I hope I can help." Nora stuttered, "Maybe talking to me will help her understand."  
  
"That's what I hoped." I agreed, taking Danny from her, to finish bathing him. I'd fed the younger three earlier and I was trying to get them to bed one-by-one, April and the twins would eat when Dad and Lyss were done cooking.  
  
"Goodnight all." Nora had been put into the master bedroom, and Hawkeye and I took the playroom so that she wouldn't receive the rude awakening Hawkeye and I expected at roughly five am when Danny and Ben appeared for a raucous pre-breakfast football game.  
  
I saw my second eldest daughter off around lunchtime the next day, and with a determined air, I returned to my juggling. I was determined to get it, even if it killed me or drove me insane and it was well on the way to doing the former.  
  
April returned three days later in high spirits. Dad was stuck with a patient at the Cove, Hawkeye had a shift, and Edna was at a sewing circle so it was just the kids and I. They would all be returning soon though.  
  
"Hello Angel-eyes, look at you! Did Daddy buy that?" She was adorned in a beautiful new woollen hat and it sat adorably on top of her curls. With her blue eyes and rosy cheeks she was definitely reminiscent of an angel.  
  
"Yep." She giggled. "And Daddy bought a hat for Lydia and Felicity and Jess too! Just like mine! Except Lydia's is green and Jess's is purple and Lyssa's is pink!" April's hat was a sunny yellow. There was also something different about the way she talked, but I couldn't quite place it.  
  
"That was lovely, thankyou Charlie dear." I smiled up to see him looking at me with an expectant air.  
  
"Aunty Nora and I helped pick them, and he bought Ben a coat and it's blue, Aunty Nora said it was army blue."  
  
"Angel, I think you mean navy!" I gave a peal of laughter. The way she talked still puzzled me however.  
  
"Yeah, navy and Daddy bought Danny a new football." Danny's old one had recently met it's demise at the hands, or rather teeth of Captain and Glory. He still had his little toy one, but the destruction of the proper one that all the kids used had proven to be heartbreaking for him.  
  
"Charlie, thankyou! That's lovely of you, we weren't going to be able to get one for a while with having to pay for the new car." Hawkeye and I had bought a second car, with seatbelts fitted in addition to Dad's beat up 1951 Ford Victoria and Hawkeye's beloved whatever it was. We were dying to see Frank Burns's face when he heard we had a house worth upwards of $60,000 and three cars.  
  
"Aunty Nora had to stay in Boston, she's gotten the flu and Daddy said she shouldn't travel." April added.  
  
"Give her my con. . . . April Emma-Rose Winchester-Pierce, you're not stuttering!" I finally realised the difference in her speech.  
  
"I know, Aunty Nora talked like me, and it was badder than me, and she asked me to help her stop it, by saying words for her properly, and I don't do it anymore."  
  
"I doubt that was it, three days of practise is hardly enough, but she hasn't stuttered, or shut up, the entire drive up here." Charles smiled. I grinned and hugged April, as he continued. "We have no idea what triggered it."  
  
"It's great, whatever she did, thankyou!" I hugged Charles tightly, and he returned the squeeze, just as Hawkeye, Dad and Edna walked in the door.  
  
"Annie!" Hawkeye scolded with a playful grin, telling me he was okay with the hug, then saw the wide beam on April's face. "April, what's up?"  
  
"I don't stutter anymore Hawkeye, Daddy and Aunty Nora helped me!" April grinned. Hawkeye swung April into the air with a whoop of joy.  
  
"Mummy, mummy, listen, I can read now!" Ben ran downstairs with the book in his hand. He gave me the book and opened it, he began reading and pointing confidently to each word.  
  
"The owl and the pussycat went to sea in a beautiful pea green boat. They took some honey and plenty of money wrapped up in a five-pound note. The owl looked up to the stars above and sang to a small guitar. 'Oh wonderful pussy, oh pussy my love, what a beautiful pussy you are, you are, what a beautiful pussy you are.'"  
  
"Benjamin Jack! That's great! I am so proud of you sport, think how glad Mrs Tillman will be to hear that! What a night, April stops stuttering and you learn to read the book!" I hugged my son, and his arms, still chubby with baby fat curled around me tightly.  
  
"Annie, if April can talk, and Ben can read. . ." Dad began, Edna emerged from the kitchen, holding out three apples. Determined, I took them from her and began to juggle, I was unsure, but this time I got it, I tossed them steadily around and around, without ever dropping them once.  
  
"Annie! You did it!" Hawkeye kissed my cheek, and it was only then when I lost my balance as he rather energetically hugged me that I dropped them.  
  
It was amazing, everything turned out okay, we'd all learnt or mastered whatever it was we'd wanted to, we didn't know how or why it was all so simultaneous, but we weren't going to question it as we got ready for dinner. 


	30. March 1961: Madeline

A\N: I don't know if this kind of thing even happened back then, but it makes for a good story and ties up one of the loosest ends in the series. By the way, I don't own the baby or the episode "Yessir That's Our Baby" Madeline's character is my own tho.  
  
March 1961  
  
Hawkeye and I had agreed to mind Max and Stephen Klinger for a month while Max and Soon-Lee adopted their daughter Madeline. This was no issue, Max was about April's age, and Stephen was roughly as old as Lydia. Two extra kids would hardly create a dint in our daily routine, especially as since Eve and Joe had moved back to Portland with their young families, along with Mimi's marriage and daughter Katie, and Rae's new son Toby, it was highly likely I'd be minding at least one niece and or nephew in addition to the my brood.  
  
"I'm just so glad that little Madeline can have a proper home." I smiled. The Klingers were coming the next day, and staying for the night. I was also excited because Joe's wife had had a baby girl nine weeks before, and while they were away in Albuquerque with Juliana's ailing mother I was also sitting for Sarah whom they couldn't take with them on short notice.  
  
"You're just thrilled because there's going to be another baby in the house." Edna smiled at me. She'd read my mind, but I wasn't surprised. I agreed and swallowed my last mouthful of food and picked up a fading Danny. We'd all had an early dinner, and were planning an early night, as Joe, Juliana and Sara were stopping by at five in the morning on their way to the airport.  
  
"Alright Little One, you look exhausted." Dad smiled, lifting Lydia up. Jess I noticed had already fallen asleep in her chair, and Hawkeye lovingly lifted her up. I wasn't sure why they were so tired, but if they were all going to go to bed without a peep, I wasn't going to argue either.  
  
"Goodnight Mummy, I love you." Lydia sleepily kissed me, and let Daniel carry her upstairs. Her little dark head cuddled into his shoulder, and her eyes closed. To my pleased surprise, everyone was asleep inside the hour.  
  
"Joe, Juliana, and this must be Sarah." Dad opened the door, and let my brother, sister-in-law and niece in.  
  
"Joe!" I embraced my brother. I loved seeing my siblings, especially as I rarely saw them now, as we were spread over Maine, and the east coast. "Goodness gracious this must be Sarah! She's gotten so big," I had been on a shift in when Juliana had come in having started labour, and I had been there to see Sarah just after she arrived.  
  
"Yep, she doesn't stop growing." Juliana placed the baby in my arms. "I want to take her with me so badly, but Aunt Eunice said on explicit terms, I was not to bring the baby." I didn't know Aunt E, but she was Jules's mother's sister, and from the sound of it, a cranky old spinster who believed children should be seen and not heard.  
  
"And you don't want to leave your mother alone with Eunice." Edna finished. Hawkeye and the kids were still asleep. Juliana nodded, her straight blonde hair loosely tied back, and looked glad at Edna's understanding. Juliana was still really just a little girl, at 23, she was 8 years younger than Joe.  
  
"Do you want a coffee or anything like that?" Joe shook his head, which was about four inches away from the sleeping infant in the crook of my arm as he kissed his baby girl.  
  
"No, we have to go, and we've got the taxi waiting outside. Sarah is really very good, she's happy to sleep most of the night, but just watch out that she gets burped after a bottle, she's prone to colic. Bye-bye baby." A few hugs and kisses for Sarah and my brother and his wife left.  
  
"What is that noise?" Hawkeye struggled downstairs at 6, when Sarah decided that she wanted a bottle and began to wail. Lydia and Felicity had already woken, and Hawkeye checked them for signs of tears as I cradled Sarah and heated her bottle.  
  
"Oh, the baby!" Hawkeye rushed over, his eyes alight and filled with doting paternal love. He took Sarah from me and cradled her close. Although we had been planning another baby, I'd changed my mind, being satisfied with the six, and not really wanting anymore. Hawkeye agreed, but wasn't really impressed by my sudden change of heart.  
  
"How beautiful are you?" He crooned. "You know Annie, it makes me think. . ." He trailed off wistfully.  
  
"Hawkeye, we've discussed this," I replied tersely, "And I thought we agreed, no more."  
  
"You agreed no more." Hawkeye dropped his voice so the girls wouldn't hear. "I still think one more would be perfect." He wasn't going to give up on it easily. Just because I said no baby didn't mean I had said no sex but the number of times he brought it up or the amount of spare time he spent seducing me would have given anyone else a different opinion.  
  
"Hawkeye, enough!" I turned away, tested Sarah's bottle and gave it to Hawkeye without a word. He began to give it to her, and she quieted and began suckling.  
  
The Klingers arrived in time for lunch, and I was thrilled to see how big the boys were. As I lifted Stephen into his chair a few minutes later, I realised I had also not met BJ's youngest Alec, or the younger O'Reillys, twins Henry Edward and Shirley Jane, and 12mo Timothy Blake and baby Lucy short for Lucille Maria. It made me pine for my friends, whom I hadn't seen for a long time, and regretted the decision not to have another reunion until 1963.  
  
"Well, how long until you meet her?" I asked, sipping my water.  
  
"Five days, until we actually meet her then there's about two weeks of legalities, and getting to know her, then, finally a week that Soon-Lee and I will spend in France with Madeline, assuming all goes well, just to get to know her, and then we're back." Max answered.  
  
"You don't even know if you're getting her yet, excuse me." Sarah was stirring and I left my seat to pick her up.  
  
"You did not say you were with child!" Soon-Lee gasped as I put the pretty baby into her arms.  
  
"We're not," Hawkeye muttered, "That's just the problem,"  
  
"Shut up Hawkeye! That's my niece Sarah."  
  
"She's beautiful, and do I detect a hint of tension?" Klinger asked, equally absorbed in the baby as she opened her wide hazel eyes and blinked sleepily.  
  
"No you don't Max." I gave a tight, nervous laugh. "Who wants more salad?"  
  
Dad and Edna offered to mind the kids, so that Max, Soon-Lee, Hawkeye and I could go out for dinner, a chance we gratefully accepted. I had not been out in a while due to shifts, and I was glad for the break.  
  
"I'm so excited that we get to have a daughter. We'd agreed on two children, but then the two boys has made us want a daughter." Max said.  
  
"Is Danny your last baby?" Soon-Lee's voice still held a Korean lilt.  
  
"Yes," I responded quickly, as Hawkeye also answered.  
  
"No." The two simultaneous, opposing answers had a surprised look pass between the other couple.  
  
"That's still under discussion.." I continued smoothly. "I'm thinking six is enough."  
  
"I'm hoping Sarah will change your mind." Hawkeye replied with a glare.  
  
"Broken nights, diapers, vomit!" I motioned to a spot on my skirt, it had not been any of my children's doing, but my niece Abby, from years before, it had not washed out, and to hide it I had dabbed bleach over the purple cotton and now the stain was indefinable from dyed patches. I was not even sure that the patch I pointed to was the stain.  
  
"A beautiful little human being who loves you, that you created." Hawkeye said, our voices had raised somewhat and people were beginning to become curious.  
  
"Annie, can we go for a walk?" Klinger pushed his chair back, seeing other people were beginning to stare, and took my wrist, pulling me to my feet and away from the dining tables.  
  
"Listen, what's going on, you two have been jumping down each other's throats all day?"  
  
"We're just debating about a seventh baby. I'm saying no, I'm almost 35 for crying out loud! It's too late for that kind of thing now. I should be stopping producing babies and loving what children I have."  
  
"Cap'n Pierce, I don't want to interfere, but I'm sure that you and Hawkeye can work things out a-ok. I have seen you two go through thick and thin, and this seems to be the thinnest of thin. You'll be fine, I'm psychic did I tell you?" I laughed and we returned to the table.  
  
"Yeah, and pregnant, and a nun, and Moses!" I teased, sitting down again. We laughed, remembering those times, and then at Soon-Lee's confused face. I loved it, things had never been so simple then, nor had they been so complicated but I always looked back on those times with a smile and a fond tear.  
  
We went home in time to find Danny tearing around the house butt-naked and screaming blue murder as Edna, tired and flustered tried to catch him and put him to bed. Dad, equally exhausted met us at the door and explained that Danny didn't want to go to bed and was throwing a terrible two tantrum.  
  
"I'll tackle this" Hawkeye said, a slightly macho tone to his voice. Danny was after all a daddy's boy. I agreed and went upstairs with the Klingers to check that the others were safely asleep. They all were, which I was glad to see and when I descended five minutes later, Hawkeye was just as tired as his father while Danny was going strong.  
  
"Can you manage him?" Hawkeye queried tiredly. I smiled a little, and went into the living room, where Danny was doing laps and screaming his head off, Edna, frazzled beyond reason, followed him wearily.  
  
"Daniel Adam Riley Pierce!" I shouted. Daniel stopped dead in his tracks. I didn't like to shout at the kids, but I had to shout to be heard. Although Daniel's motion had stopped, he had continued to scream as he faced me.  
  
"That is enough! What on earth is the meaning of this? It's bedtime, let's go!" His screams stopped as I picked him up and carried him upstairs. I returned ten minutes later, having dressed him and put him to bed.  
  
"Wow, I'd hate to have you mad at me." Hawkeye said. I rarely yelled, I'd raise my voice if the volume was getting higher, but before the recent episode I could not remember the last time I'd shouted. I had my own way of disciplining the kids, even though it meant no yelling, and no smacking, the calm requests, followed by praise and cuddles when followed had always worked well.  
  
"It was nothing. All you have to do is be louder than the children." I shrugged and smiled. We decided to go to bed after that, and once we were settled in our big bed, Hawkeye cuddled me close.  
  
"You were impressive before baby-face." He whispered, before going off into a stream of sweet nothings as he made a meal of my ear, then worked his way lower.  
  
"Steady on." I drew my knees up, stopping him before he reached my stomach. "Listen, when you head for my belly like that, I gotta wonder what you have in mind."  
  
"You have to WONDER?" Hawkeye demanded. He chuckled a little, his blue eyes shining with amused love.  
  
"Ben, what I mean is do this because you want me, or because you want to get me pregnant?" I spoke softly, aware that Sarah slept in the study.  
  
"Annie, I really would love another baby."  
  
"And I wouldn't." I replied. "I'm sorry Ben my love, I know how much it would mean to you to have another baby, but it's hard on my body to be pregnant. I've been pregnant six times if you count Korea. My body's been through six rounds of morning sickness, six rounds of sore breasts, five lots of growing to accommodate a baby to term, five lots of giving birth, three lots of breastfeeding, one miscarriage, and a total of roughly 47 months of pregnancy all up. Five term babies, plus two months in Korea. I honestly don't think I can manage all this again."  
  
"I'm sorry darling, I don't know what it's like to be pregnant all I do is put it in you, and then watch Dad get the product out of you a few months down the track. Do you really feel that way?" He crawled up beside me.  
  
"I do honey, I love you so much, I love the kids so much, but I think six is perfect. Even if Lydia is only technically ours, and April's real daddy lives in Boston, I'm happy with our life just the way it is."  
  
"Well, okay beautiful girl, I can see your point. Can we wait until Sarah goes home before we decide for good?" I smiled, Sarah was warming the baby part of my heart and Hawkeye knew it.  
  
"Okay, we'll wait until Sarah goes home." I agreed with a chuckle.  
  
"I hoped you'd say that." Hawkeye smiled, cuddling me against him. I fell asleep quickly, safe in his arms, only to be woken by a demand for a bottle. Despite that, and the ensuing hours of colic, I was in a bright mood the next morning as I carried Sarah around and did the laundry.  
  
"Auntie Belle," I turned, it was Little Max.  
  
"And what can I do for you Max my man?" I shifted Sarah to my other arm, and bent down in front of the 5yo boy.  
  
"Where's the bathroom?" He asked, he was a little lonely without Ben around, as my elder three had to go to school. I smiled, and stood up, leading him upstairs to the kids' bathroom.  
  
"Mummy, can I have a snack now?" Lydia appeared from the playroom where she and Edna were playing house.  
  
"Just as soon as I put Sarah down for a nap Little One," I replied, "Then we'll all go outside, and have a snack on the porch." I went into Hawkeye's and my room. The sun shone in the north window, lighting up our study, and so I moved Sarah's bassinette out of the direct light. I lay her down on her back, and soon her brown eyes closed, and she was asleep.  
  
I left the study door open so I could hear if she woke, and took a good look around our big. It was a beautiful room, no two ways about that. As soon as you went in, you saw windows that ran the length of the wall, facing north, and overlooked the neighbour's backyard. To the left of the door was an alcove that Hawkeye had built shelves in and we used as a wardrobe. Next to that was the study, which had two desks, a sofa and currently Sarah. To the right of the door was our bed, a big one, which slept three adults or six children. Just beyond that was our ensuite, which had a shower, and small bath, which I loved, but Hawkeye found pretty squashy. The ensuite didn't stretch from the hallway wall to the window wall, it only reached about halfway, and it formed a corridor where it ended, which led to a big bay window, which faced east, and the sea. It was a light, airy space, where, when the need arose, I liked to feed my baby of the moment, as there was a door into the nursery from there.  
  
"Mummy?" Lydia, Jess and Stephen stood at the door, waiting as I just gazed around the room.  
  
"Sorry Little One." I shook my head and turned around, "Come on." I took Lydia and Stephen's hands and we went downstairs for a snack.  
  
I grew to enjoy having nine children around, especially the baby. Sarah was beautiful, who responded to our attention with smiles, her colic went too and I came to love the chubby brown-eyed rosy-cheeked baby. I also came to think twice about a seventh child. I still wasn't sure but Hawkeye left me alone to make up my own mind.  
  
Not surprisingly the time passed quickly, and before I knew it, we'd gotten a phonecall from Albuquerque, Juliana's mother had made it, and was coming back to Portland to live with Juliana, Joe and Sarah. Juliana, Joe and Dianne were going arrive next week.  
  
"When will Mum and Dad be back?" It was Max's voice that caught my attention as I tucked Ben into his bed. Stephen and Danny were sharing the nursery, both in cots, as Max was temporarily borrowing Danny's new bed.  
  
"Goodnight Ben." I kissed my son and moved over to Max's bed. "Max my mate, they'll be here in just two more sleeps with your sister Madeline."  
  
"Okay, Aunty Belle can you tell me the story about a baby girl in Korea?" Soon-Lee had made up a story about Madeline, which she used to explain why they were adopting her. Ben added his approval, and I smiled.  
  
"Of course Max, you know what? Stephen likes this story too, so I'll go get him first and you can hear the story together okay?" On the way I also collected April, Lydia, Jess, and Danny who wanted to hear the story too. I decided then to move to the playroom for more room. When Felicity, Edna, Dad and Hawkeye heard I was telling the already well-loved story they joined us, and soon the entire household was waiting as I began the story.  
  
"Once upon a time, not so very long ago, but before you were born, there was a war in a place called Korea. Now this war was very, very bad because lots of innocent people died. Innocent people who didn't want there to be war, but who had to stop the war." Hawkeye was sitting beside me and squeezed my hand tightly as I continued.  
  
"Now there were lots of babies born during this war, and some of their parents died, not all of these children were lucky, as they often had to live in orphanages which were crowded and unhappy. But there was a baby girl who was lucky. Her mother was a Korean lady and her father was an American soldier. The baby girl's father died in the war." At this point Hawkeye muttered something profane. The truth was her father didn't want to take responsibility for his actions and had left the mother and baby.  
  
"The baby girl's mother couldn't look after her baby daughter without her father to help her, and because she knew there was a hospital near where she lived, late one night, she crept up to the hospital and left her baby outside where the doctors stayed. Now this hospital, just like any other had doctors and nurses, but this hospital was special, it had some very nice doctors and nurses, they were the best in all of Korea, and if they had a hospital together here, they'd be the best in the world. Now there were three doctors who were staying where the mother left her baby and they woke up in the morning, they found the baby. This is where the baby's luck started, because one of the doctors was a father whose little girl was at home in America waiting for him, and the minute he saw the baby he knew just what to do." The kids' eyes were closing fast, but I kept going.  
  
"Now, the people at this hospital came to love this baby very, very much. She was a beautiful girl, and everyone thought that she was wonderful. However a hospital is not a very good place to keep a baby, and they knew it, so they had to think about another place for the baby to grow up. Of course not one of the doctors or nurses wanted to see the baby go to an orphanage, and they thought and thought about what they could do to help the baby. Finally, the priest at the camp made a suggestion. That they gave the baby to a monastery where the monks would bring her up, until the war was over and then she could have a real safe home." I paused for breath here, I'd lost all of the kids, but Hawkeye, Dad and Edna still plainly wanted to hear more.  
  
"Well, it was a very sad day for the hospital when the baby girl had to go to the monastery, but they all knew that it was far better for the baby to grow up there. They knew it meant that they might never, ever see the baby again, but everyone said goodbye and the doctors who had found the baby girl first, took her to the monastery. They sadly said goodbye to the little girl and left her there, and went home, never knowing what would happen to her. Should I really keep going?" I felt a little embarrassed telling the story to three adults.  
  
"Yes!" Dad insisted. My remaining audience, Dad, Edna, Hawkeye and on occasions, Jess were captivated.  
  
"Okay! A few months went by and the war finished, and everyone at the hospital returned home. Then when it was safe, the monks who lived at the monastery arranged for the baby girl to leave Korea. It turned out that a convent, with nuns in Paris would take her in, and so she was sent to the convent, and there our baby girl was named Madeline. Madeline stayed in the convent for a long time, and she grew up into a beautiful little girl. When she turned six, it was decided that Madeline should be given a proper home. After looking around, the nuns found one of the men at the hospital who found Madeline had married a young Korean lady. They got in contact with this family, and asked if they would adopt Madeline. This family already had two gorgeous little boys, but they wanted a daughter and so they agreed. The mother and father flew over to Paris to meet their daughter, and there they adopted her. The rest of the story is up to your imaginations, and I think it's time you all went to bed."  
  
"I couldn't agree more," Daniel yawned. So saying he lifted Jess with ease and left the room. Edna stretched and stood up, before lifting Danny and carrying him away. Hawkeye picked Lydia up, and smiled at me.  
  
"Can you grab the big guys?" I nodded, I'd always had less trouble lifting Ben and Felicity and I did that, picking my daughter up and carrying her to bed. By the time I'd done that, Hawkeye was putting April to bed, Edna was working on Stephen and Dad was gently waking Max enough to hop onto his back. I lifted my seven-year-old son easily, and followed Dad into the boys' room. There I lay Ben down and tucked him in.  
  
"Goodnight Sport, I think I might go to bed now too." He didn't even respond, and so with Daniel close behind I tiptoed out of the room. We all went to bed after that, and the next day was spent in excited anticipation awaiting Max and Soon-Lee's return.  
  
"That's why the lady is a tramp!" I was singing to Sarah as she lay, comfortably on her belly across my forearm. She was effectively upside down, but she seemed to enjoy it, watching as the different floor surfaces changes, carpet, tiles, hardwood, and then lawn as I carried her upstairs, changed her diaper and walked downstairs and outside onto the front lawn to where Hawkeye and the other kids were playing.  
  
"Tramp? I think not darling." Hawkeye wrapped his arms around me, mindful of the nearly 13-week-old infant I carried. "A spitfire when you want to be, a temptress on occasions and minx definitely, but not a tramp."  
  
"Thankyou darling." I smiled and kissed him.  
  
"Mummy, what's a minx?" Lydia looked up at me.  
  
"A lady who teases men sweetheart. What are we all doing out here?"  
  
"Max rang while you and Sarah were at Cathie's. Their cab will be here soon!" Felicity told me, beaming, standing beside her much-loved sister. I'd had lunch at Cathie Harrison's with Sarah and her 'little surprise' a third child, still just a bump, but to be born in the Cove's hospital.  
  
Crabapple Cove Nursing Hospital was generally run by a group of nurses and used for small things like tonsillectomies. Larger operations, unless they were an emergency headed to Portland General's larger OR. Aside from Hawkeye and Daniel who made rounds there in between other patients and Hawkeye's shifts at the Gen, there were two other doctors, a paediatrician and another surgeon who like Hawkeye, split her time between the Cove and the Gen. The Cove only took residents of Crabapple Cove and two equally small, neighbouring towns Pine Harbour and Sunrise Bay and we preferred the pleasant albeit insular system.  
  
Cathie was having her baby in the Cove as we'd recently established a maternity wing. This section was opened at the beginning of the year and was the reason why I'd given birth at home, as I did not want to go to the Gen. With April, I had been sent to the Cove immediately as April had made it clear she wouldn't wait. However, if I agreed to a seventh baby, I'd be having it at the Cove. The only reason I had arrived in the Cove was due to my mother's sheer stubbornness.  
  
"Great!" I smiled. I glanced around. Ben and Max were up a tree - again - and as always I had to swallow the urge to call out to them protectively. I loved my kids, and my incredibly strong maternal urges pushed me to do all I could to ensure their safety, but I often had to draw the line between caring and smothering. As a child, I had not really been allowed to run free, and I knew I wanted to let my kids enjoy life, live childhood to the fullest and still become respectable young adults.  
  
We became absorbed in a street game of baseball, which a few other local kids joined in. Sarah was lying on her belly in the sun, well away from the game, but close enough to my right field position in case she needed me.  
  
"You're outta here! Off the road!" Hawkeye hollered in one breath as I struck out, and a cab came crawling up the road. Only tourists or out-of- towners drove fast in the Cove, you never knew whether there would be a game like this happening in the middle of our quiet residential street.  
  
We moved away, taking our newspaper first base, my old combat boots for second and third and Captain's water bowl for home plate with us. The cab held Max, Soon-Lee and a pretty dark-haired girl.  
  
"Kids, in, I know you're excited, but you'll all get to meet Madeline soon. Max, Stephen, you stay here." I ushered them away, as Hawkeye ignored Max's complaints and paid the fare and Soon-Lee, with her new daughter clinging to her hand, no pun intended.  
  
Thanks, Annie." Max smiled and kissed my cheek. Hawkeye began dumping bags on the front lawn. On her rug, Sarah began to squawk and Hawkeye picked her up and gave her to me, before continuing to unload the cab.  
  
"How was France?" I queried. Max and Stephen hung back quietly as Soon-Lee whispered in what I thought was Korean to her nervous daughter.  
  
"Great, Madeline is beautiful isn't she? By the way, she does speak English, but her French is perfect, and her Korean is great for someone who only spent three years as a baby there. It's a bit tricky talking with her sometimes, but her English has already improved."  
  
"She is beautiful, what I can see of her that is." Her face was hidden shyly against Soon-Lee's side.  
  
"Go talk to her, let her get to know you, she's just like any other child, knows who the baby-people are. I want to talk to the boys before they meet her."  
  
"Hi Soon-Lee," I kissed my friend's cheek warmly and bent down to the nervous little girl before me.  
  
"Hi Madeline," I said softly, in English, she glanced at me, nervously, obviously knowing and comprehending what I said, but too shy to respond. I smiled, and shifted Sarah so I could bend down properly, on my knees.  
  
"Bonjour," I continued telling her that I was Annie and that she was very beautiful.  
  
"Bonjour Mademoiselle." She let go of Soon-Lee now and curtsied. She continued in a stream of French. She was Madeline Patience Klinger, she was eight years old and had been born in Korea. Soon-Lee and Max gasped.  
  
"We can't speak much French, that's the most she's ever said to anyone." Max explained.  
  
"Well I can speak French, so maybe I can help." I said, as Madeline began to talk again, reaching this time for Sarah. Delighted, she took the whinging infant into her arms and asked if she would be allowed to give her a bottle. I translated to Max and Soon-Lee, and replied for them.  
  
"You are staying here for three nights, so there is plenty of time to feed the baby." I said in French again, "But your mother and father would like you to talk in English please, and meet your brothers."  
  
"Okay." She said, this time in English and with Soon-Lee, approached Max and Stephen.  
  
I smiled and went inside, taking Sarah with me. Hawkeye cuddled me as soon as my arms were freed, and kissed me sweetly.  
  
"Well, have you thought about adding a new member to our family?" He queried softly.  
  
"Yes I have." I smiled at Sarah as she lay on Lyssie's lap drinking from her bottle.  
  
"Well?" He led me upstairs, away from the prying ears of our kids.  
  
"I've thought about it long and hard, and well Sarah is a gorgeous baby, I love her to pieces, and another baby would be a nice change, no two ways about that. But, now that Danny's older I've begun to have a regular work pattern and I'm me again, the pretty, sexy me, you can get your arms around. So I know that you would dearly love to have a baby again, and I would too, but I know, I only want the baby for its amusement factor. I'm not thinking about the workload involved, so I hate to disappoint you Ben darling, but no. I don't want another baby, if we want to mind a baby, there are plenty of kids we can borrow for a little while, but not on a full-time scale."  
  
"It's okay Anne, I understand." He kissed me again. "Let's go back down."  
  
Madeline it seemed fitted very well into the Klinger tribe, and now that she had relaxed her English had blossomed into a vocabulary that would make an eight-year-old proud. It seemed she knew a lot more than we'd assumed and was in fact, tri-lingual.  
  
Sarah went home a day after the Klingers, and although I missed them all, I was glad to have my regular routine back. Without Sarah in the next room it also meant that Hawkeye and I could return to our love life.  
  
"Mmm, Annie, can we cuddle for a little while?" Hawkeye had just taken a shower and was not only smelling great, but slightly damp, and wearing only a towel.  
  
"Of course." I agreed, shifting into his embrace. The cuddle escalated pretty quickly, and Hawkeye looked straight at me, about a minute before things went too far.  
  
"Wait, we aren't trying for another baby are we?" He pulled back. I couldn't suppress the groan of disappointment.  
  
"No, I guess not." I replied.  
  
"Okay then." He smiled and got up, heading for the study drawer and the condom kept within. A few seconds later we were back doing what we were before and the mutual understanding we'd reached made it better.  
  
"Thanks for understanding Hawkeye." I kissed him later as I lay snuggled against him.  
  
"That's alright Annie darling." He kissed me. It was then that I was glad that I had married sch a great man, and if it was possible fell in love with him all the more. 


	31. January 1962: Birthdays

Miranda's Spiel: Thanks to everyone for your reviews, I'm finally updating you will be glad to see! Seeing as I get some pretty interesting reviews from some of you lovely people, next chapter I am going to put in my favourite review! R&R folks . . . you could become famous!  
  
January 28 1962  
  
The phone rang, startling me out of my pleasant sleep. I dragged myself out of bed taking the blanket with me, and raising a yell from Hawkeye, as he froze in the winter morning. Jess had been sleeping with us, and at Hawkeye's yell, she began to cry.  
  
"What?" I snapped irritably into the phone.  
  
"Annie, it's Margaret." She sounded beside herself with joy. "Did I ring at a bad time?"  
  
"Sorry Margaret, I'm just, tired. And Jess and Hawkeye both got woken up when I went to answer the phone. It's okay though, Dad's got things." Dad had come running at the yells and had picked Jess up and was taking her downstairs. Hawkeye, now repossessed of the blanket, was going back to bed.  
  
"I'm pregnant, I'm due in July!" I shrieked a response, and Hawkeye threw a pillow at me.  
  
"So you're what, 12 weeks?" I asked calmly.  
  
"About that." Margaret replied, and then added with sadness, "I hope I have a boy." Harold didn't like his two very feminine daughters. He wanted a boy to follow in his footsteps.  
  
"Where are you ringing from?" I remember Margaret had mentioned that Harold was being transferred again.  
  
"Fort Ord." She replied. "He got moved again." Margaret had loved army life, until she realised the disadvantages it had for a young family.  
  
"I'm sorry to hear that." I replied. "Well congratulations on the baby, and I'll see you in July!" After we said goodbye, I went downstairs. Dad and Edna had been busy, and a beautiful homemade chocolate cake stood on the table. It was Hawkeye's 38th birthday and we were celebrating the day with a cake at lunch. After that, Hawkeye and I were going out to celebrate privately, and return home late, after the kids were in bed, to continue the adult celebrations with Dad and Edna.  
  
"We're back." We stage-whispered. I tripped over a suitcase in the hall, and swore mildly.  
  
"Sorry about that." Dad moved it out of the way, and made sure I was okay. A bruised ego was quickly dealt with by a loving cuddle.  
  
"Who's is it?" I queried, Edna smiled mysteriously and pointed to the spare room. Curious, I walked across the hall, and after knocking, into the spare bedroom. Two figures lay asleep on the bed, but woke as I entered.  
  
"Alice Newman!" My sister, and husband Roger had decided to visit us, and were very much welcome. Alice, as it turned out was pregnant, and while Roger had to go to Europe for next six months, she didn't want to stay home alone. So, letting out the cosily messy New York apartment they owned, Alice had decided to live here. Although surprised, Dad and Edna had readily agreed, especially as it was Alice's first child and she was rather nervous.  
  
Things went quickly with Alice staying and before we knew it, time had flown by and we were waking early in the morning of the twins' 8th birthday March 20. They were having a party and inviting a flock of kids. It was still cool, so we decided indoors was the best bet.  
  
"Mama!" Danny was wailing his head off, and I, somewhat tired and frustrated had to pick him up. He was tired and cranky, his nap having gone to hell with twenty odd kids racing around.  
  
"Hawkeye, honey, do me a favour please, take Danny around to Cathie's." I handed over the screaming toddler and resumed putting cupcakes on a tray. Alice was in the living room, a slight bump showing at her waist and keeping the large party entertained. Hawkeye returned from Cathie's a few minutes later, minus Danny, reporting that he had very quickly fallen asleep on the sofa, and Cathie would bring him around when he woke.  
  
"She's a lifesaver." I murmured thankfully, before finding a record to put on. "Okay kids, it's time for musical chairs!" A loud cheer erupted and it was no surprise that we all went to bed that night with throbbing headaches.  
  
"Charlie, dear!" I ran out onto the porch and embraced Charles, a holler of "Daddy!" sounding from upstairs.  
  
"Annie, how good to see you again, you are looking well!" Charles kissed my cheek gently, before April, all lace, ribbons and brown curls attached herself to her beloved father. April 28th was two days away, and Charles and Nora were coming up for the momentous occasion of April's 7th birthday. The next evening, Hawkeye, myself and April we were all going back down for a 'special present' that Charles's family had brought for April.  
  
"Nora, it's lovely to see you made it, and this must be Stella." Nora had married and a baby girl, Estelle Anastacia, or Stella had been born. She and her husband Emery now lived on his estate, also in Boston.  
  
"I would offer you a chance to hold her, but she is asleep, I'm afraid that she will cry if I do." Nora's voice was coming slowly, without as many stutters, Emery was a speech therapist and helping Nora with it.  
  
"That's fine, there's a bed in the spare room if you'd like to put her down." I let them in, Hawkeye had grabbed the bags and was putting them in the spare room. Charles was sleeping in the playroom, while Alice, temporarily displaced for Nora, was in Felicity's bed, and Felicity was in with us.  
  
"Thankyou Annie, but I'd rather hold her for a while, I just can't bear to let her go." I could see why, Stella was adorable. Besides, Nora had only had Stella for five, blessed weeks, and was still, although tired, revelling in the joy that comes with knowing that you've created a beautiful, precious, perfect life.  
  
"I know how it feels." I smiled down at the baby. She had fair skin, and blonde fuzz in fact, she reminded me rather a lot of Felicity when she was nothing more than a newborn infant herself.  
  
"Mum, Daddy says if you say I can stay with him all summer!" April ran up as I lifted Jess up for a cuddle and to see Stella. 'Daddy' winked at me, as he carried his things upstairs to the playroom where he was sleeping.  
  
"We did talk about that didn't we?" I smiled, turning Jess upside down and walking through the house, holding onto her legs and only her legs as she squealed, enjoying her ride.  
  
"So Mummy, can I go?" April begged, following me into the kitchen as I put Jess down and put a kettle on. We'd have a late supper and a cup of tea before sending the kids to bed.  
  
"We'll see," I answered her evasively. Danny came running in, Edna hot on his heels. She looked puffed, from chasing him around the house. She'd been getting more and more tired recently, I guessed that the strain of running around after two boisterous kids most of the day was getting to her. I had however, decided to take most of the summer off work, so that Edna could go and see her other eight grandchildren in Iowa.  
  
"Thanks Edna." I intercepted Danny and sat him at the table.  
  
"You're welcome Annie." Edna puffed. We all sat down to supper and it was 9.30 before the kids were all asleep.  
  
"Finally, I thought she'd never go down." Alice returned from putting Lydia to bed. We were sitting in the living room, and having a nightcap, soda water for Nora, martini for Hawkeye and Dad, port for Charles and myself, and juice for Alice and Edna. Stella lay in her pram, gazing around with pretty hazel eyes.  
  
"Alice, when did you say the baby was expected?" Nora queried.  
  
"September, we found out in January." Dad pulled her onto his knee for a cuddle. Surprised, she hugged him back. The fact that Dad was Alice's father too had finally sunken in and now Dad was as loving towards her as towards Hawkeye or myself.  
  
"I hope you decide to stay long enough for me to deliver her. I'd hate to miss delivering my granddaughter." He'd decided, by the way Alice was carrying, very low, and wide like I had with Jess and April, plus the fact that I thought it was a boy, that Alice was going to have a daughter.  
  
"We'll see Daddy." Alice laughed obligingly, I knew that she wanted to get back home and get settled into her apartment again before the baby came.  
  
"What's to say you can't go up?" I laughed, standing up to go to bed. Dad muttered a poor excuse, and we all went to bed laughing after that. As a result, April's birthday party in the Cove was a suitably riotous occasion.  
  
"Close your eyes darling." Charles and I took April's hands, and with Hawkeye's arm curled around my waist, we made our way outside, where one of the grooms stood holding a beautiful brown pony by a lead rope.  
  
"Open them pet." April opened her eyes, and gasped. She had enough sense to shriek too loudly around the pony and so she threw her arms around Charles and I.  
  
"And he's really mine?" April asked with big eyes, the pony was a shiny brown, with a white star on his face, and four neat, white socks.  
  
"Yes Angel, and furthermore, you can stay here all summer." I told her. April hugged me and said thankyou.  
  
"Have you picked a name for the pony yet?" Hawkeye asked, as April was led around on the pony. Her riding tuition would start in the summer.  
  
"Yes, Hawkeye. Hawk for short." April said smiling. Hawkeye, touched to the point of being mute, just squeezed my hand so hard it hurt.  
  
"Happy Birthday to you, Happy Birthday to you, Happy Birthday dear Danny. . . Happy Birthday to you!" Daniel blew out his candles, all three of them, shrieked with joy and pounded his fist into his football-shaped cake that Dad and I had been up since 4am making. My family had come for the occasion, as Alice was still staying with me Mum, Patrick, Jemma, Nath, Grace, Matthew and Chris drove up from Portland. Joe, Lily, Rae, Mimi, Andrew, and Eve came too with their husbands and children. Jeremy was still up in Fort Wayne, and couldn't come down.  
  
It was in the evening, and Mum had gone for a walk with the girls, except Grace. I had chosen not to go, as I had to put a very excited Danny to bed and decided that someone should be around, who could manage such a big brood, all of whom were going home after their mothers had come back.  
  
"Daniel Adam Riley Pierce, put your patoot to sleep!" I sighed, as Chris started hollering at me from the downstairs bathroom. I hurried down, to find Chris outside, and the sound of tears coming from within.  
  
"She just locked herself inside, and she's been crying ever since, I have no idea." Chris explained.  
  
"Grace, honey it's Annie, what's wrong?" I tapped on the door. It wasn't locked as Chris had thought, and I went in quietly. Grace sat on the edge of the bath , her face in her hands.  
  
"Where's Mummy?" She asked unhappily. I approached her quietly. I hadn't had the same role in her life as I had in Alice's and my other sisters' and as a result, Gracie was far more attached to Mum than me.  
  
"She's gone for a walk Gracie what's wrong?" I sat beside her and put my arms around her tightly.  
  
"Can I tell you Annie? Promise you won't tell anyone else?" Gracie looked up at me, her eyes filled with tears. I realised then that there was nervous excitement in her voice, I'd previously thought that Grace, with her brown hair and hazel eyes, and short, chubby figure, and love for maths and science was nothing like me. However, she seemed to have my voice, and the same use of tone and volume.  
  
"I will give you that promise as long as I know that it's not anything really bad, and that it doesn't need to be told to anyone like a doctor." I gave her the traditional comment I'd given soldiers ten years ago.  
  
"Well, mummy needs to know anyway I think." Gracie sniffled. "I just started my period."  
  
"Grace Stephanie Hayes, you're growing up!" I threw my arms around her. Tears of joy pricked in my eyes, I'd been there for Rachael, Mimi, Eve, Lily, Alice, Grace, all of my sisters, except for Jemma, who at not yet 10, was probably a year or so off puberty anyway. It made me think however, my little Felicity only had 4 or so years until she grew up too, and made me a little sad.  
  
After my family went home, and Alice went to bed, Hawkeye and I curled up on the sofa, while I heard Dad cleaning up in the kitchen.  
  
"I love them all so much, it's great when I can see them." I sighed. Lydia was looking rather like Lily, and we figured that we'd tell her eventually anyway.  
  
"Isn't it? And I love it too. You're always so happy. I love it when you're happy." Hawkeye agreed with a smile.  
  
We cuddled for a few minutes in silence, and Dad went to bed. I'd been quietly toying with an idea and I decided to ask Hawkeye about it. "My beloved, adorable sweet thing," I crooned, playing with Hawkeye's fringe.  
  
"Yes my darling, loveable angel face?" He crooned back, nuzzling into my neck.  
  
"I want to have another baby." He gaped, and took a second to recover.  
  
"Really? Annie, are you serious?"  
  
"Yes! I know I said no last year, but that was then. I do want a final baby." I crawled off the couch, and kneeled before him, taking both his hands and looking deep into his eyes.  
  
"Anne, you said final with Jess, and we had Lydia and Danny! But, I'm ready for another if you are." Hawkeye returned the deep, serious gaze.  
  
"Hawkeye, Ben, darling, thankyou, you're making me the happiest woman on earth." I kissed him. Needless to say we kept ourselves busy when we went to bed.  
  
"So we're going to try for another baby." I told Dad a couple of weeks later. His face creased concernedly.  
  
"But, Annie darling, you're going to stop working, we'll need your pay check once the baby comes." He said.  
  
"Hawkeye and I have a lot put away Dad, it'll be fine, and I can keep working in the clinic as long as I like, and the Cove nursing staff will always have me, it's just the Gen that'll throw me off when I start to show. I plan to work again anyway, once the baby is four months old or so. Plus the baby won't be actually due for a while, I'm not even pregnant yet, I can keep working, and we can keep saving, and you don't need to worry."  
  
"But you want to go back to work, Anne, I'm not sure if I. . ." Dad was anxious, and obviously unwilling.  
  
"We're going to hire a nanny, so you and Edna aren't stuck with them all day, and anyhow, Lydia starts school this year, so it's not so bad, for the most part it'd be you guys, Danny and the baby."  
  
"You've really thought about this haven't you?" Dad asked, cupping my chin in his hand. I nodded quietly. "Well, tell Hawkeye, you have my blessings, and Annie, up the calcium intake already."  
  
"Yes Dad, thankyou." I kissed him and slid off the bench and drove to work.  
  
Jess's 6th birthday, the 10th of June rolled up. We had an outdoor party for her and her friends, with Alice, dressing up as a fairy (despite a 6 month baby bump) and reading fairytales to 14 similarly dressed, and completely enthralled girls. We'd begun to look at nannies, preferring a live-in, but none we'd found enjoyed the Cove's quiet isolation.  
  
We'd barely had time to recover from Jess's day, when on the 12th, Lydia and Adam's birthday dawned. In the morning it was off to visit my baby in the cemetery, before heading back to the beach where Hawkeye had buried little presents for the kids in an area of sand. After the treasure hunt, we walked back to the house, had a snack, played musical chairs, and Stevie arrived.  
  
"Hi, I'm Stevie Walters," She beamed, I believe my cousin Lora is on the loose somewhere here?" I smiled, and offered my hand, Lora's mother had mentioned something to the tune of a cousin picking Lora up.  
  
"Annie Pierce, the birthday girl's mother, Lora's out back with my sister and my other kids." I pointed, and led the way, suddenly Stevie stopped.  
  
"Say, Pierce, you're not looking for a full-time nanny are you, I rang yesterday and talked to a man, but I left my full name, Stephanie." My jaw dropped. Stephanie Walters, Hawkeye had mentioned fielding a call from her.  
  
"Well, this is a surprise Stevie." I recovered quickly, and found my voice. Stevie was a young, 20-something woman, out of college and in need of a job.  
  
It turned out Stevie was just what we were looking for, and by my birthday, when Alice and Roger moved back to New York, Stevie moved in as our nanny. We offered her the spare room, but she insisted on the playroom sofa bed, preferring her closeness to the kids. As a compromise, she was to sleep in April's room for the summer while April was in Boston, and we'd get her a proper bed and build in a sort of room for her in the playroom.  
  
"Alright chickadees, say goodnight to Mummy and Daddy, and come upstairs, I'll be reading a story to you in five minutes!" Hawkeye and I were off for a private birthday celebration to end with a 'baby dance' as we had dubbed it, in hope of a baby next year.  
  
"Thankyou Stevie, I honestly don't know what we'd do without you." After the coming Christmas, Daniel and Edna had decided to retire, a well-earned retirement, I felt, and with Stevie on board they'd be able to.  
  
"It's no problem Mrs Pierce, and I'll be fine with them next week." Margaret was alone again, and due soon Harold was in Brussels for a conference or something, and Hawkeye and I were flying to Fort Ord to keep her company until the baby arrived. If we had our way, and I suspected we would, she'd actually fly back with us and once more, have the baby in the Cove. However, Stevie sensed my anxiety about leaving all the kids, and reassured me on a regular basis.  
  
We left and had dinner in Portland, before we went dancing for a while. We returned home, checked on the sleeping household and went to bed ourselves.  
  
"Margaret!" She struggled to her feet as I entered the room, Hawkeye on my tail. On the floor, Isabelle and Hannah were playing, and looked up as I hugged their mother. "Oh, Margaret, you're looking well, honestly you are." She beamed at me.  
  
"Annie's right Margaret. You're looking beautiful." Hawkeye kissed Margaret lightly on the mouth, as I picked up Isabelle and gave her a big cuddle.  
  
"Sit down, can I get you a drink?" Hawkeye had grabbed Hannah, and was holding her by her legs upside down, and the blonde, blue-eyed girl was shrieking with joy. Isabelle meanwhile, was quite content in my lap, trying on the necklace with my cross, and the old rings.  
  
"Thanks but no Margaret." I smiled. "Now, sit down and listen to us, we've got a suggestion, I'm not sure if you'll like it, but it worked well last time." Hawkeye took over explaining and finished our idea.  
  
"That's very tempting, I'll admit, but who's going to look after Hannah and Isabelle while I'm in hospital?" Now sorely tempted, Margaret was trying to find a reason not to go.  
  
"We will, Margaret, and we've got Stevie living with us, you know she's fantastic, Anita loves her too, she says that it's like having Annabelle around when Lily, Matt and Alice were small."  
  
"Hawkeye, Annie, you're tempting me far too much." Margaret protested weakly. Hawkeye and I smiled, we were well on the way to winning.  
  
"Sir, I really don't think it's advisable that your wife travels with you." The ticket woman at the airport protested. Margaret's advanced state of pregnancy was an issue as people thought that she might go into labour in the air.  
  
"Firstly, she's not my wife, she's my sister-in-law, this is my wife." Hawkeye put his arm around me. "Secondly, I am Dr Benjamin Franklin Pierce, and it has come to my attention that this woman's unborn baby may be suffering a rare and little-known form of lung disease." It had been a while since Hawkeye had spun a lie like this, and he petered out, so I picked up promptly.  
  
"Known as advanced infantile tuberculosis poliomyelitis." I ran a few words together, and extreme confusion was quickly reached. "It's highly contagious and can be passed to a foetus after their mother is exposed for less than a minute. It was discovered by Professor Tuttle from the University of Our Holy Father of Druids Reformed, and can prove fatal if left undiscovered or untreated." Gratefully, my 'sister' took over.  
  
"It's a very rare condition in which newborns' lungs are extremely sensitive to air, and there are only four places in the world where a baby with such a condition can breathe safely, one of which is in Maine. As you see miss, it is imperative that I get to Maine, so my baby can live." Margaret tightened her voice into a sob. Confused, the woman handed us our tickets.  
  
"Where did you learn to lie like that my girls?' Hawkeye asked. We were in the air, and Hannah was asleep in my lap, while a young couple in front were playing with Isabelle.  
  
"We learned from the best." Margaret replied smartly. I think that Hawkeye laughed and made a none-too-modest comment, as sleep rather suddenly overtook me.  
  
We arrived back in the Cove, and less than a day later, Margaret went into labour. As with the twins, Hawkeye and I were delivering in a hospital, this time in the Cove's new maternity ward. It was shorter than with the twins, and before long, Margaret was resting, with another daughter, Melody Gloria Olsen. Harold was apparently disgusted at his third daughter and Margaret moved out of whichever Fort she was at and in with her sister.  
  
Edna's birthday was in September, but Dad wasn't around to see it. He'd flown up to deliver Alice's baby, but there'd been a few complications with the little boy's arrival, which had delayed him some. Now, with both mother and baby doing well, I drove up for one day to see my beautiful new nephew Trent Roger Newman. We drove back home the next day, to find Stevie holding it together well, and I counted my blessings, I had no idea what I'd do without her.  
  
Dad's birthday, October 18 was approaching fast, when I received a call from Margaret. She'd decided to divorce Harold after they'd fought and he'd hit her and raped her. She'd decided to stay with Colonel Potter, who adored the twins and Melody, for a little, before finding her own place somewhere else.  
  
However, everything was not brilliant. I'd been waking with terrifying nightmares of loosing Hawkeye and the kids almost every night and could not find a reason for it. While my sleep pattern was wrecked and I found that I was rather irritable, I also found that the desire to tell my family I loved them, if acted upon lessened the terrors.  
  
By dad's birthday I'd settled down some, and was able to continue a perfectly normal life, and was beginning to wonder if I was pregnant. Charles had also decided to come up for a week and stay with us as well, and all in all we were a very happy family.  
  
"I love you so much darling." I murmured against Hawkeye's neck as he prepared to leave for work one morning.  
  
"I love you too my Annie-girl." Hawkeye replied. "But why so serious?"  
  
"I just feel like I might never get to say it again Ben dear. I had a really scary one last night, but I couldn't wake from it. And you know that it helps me sleep. Promise me you'll be extra careful today."  
  
"Of course" Hawkeye said, kissing my forehead lovingly. He left then, and I returned to the kitchen.  
  
"What? Still eating April, scoot or you'll be late! Charles, you're not helping her!" Her ever-adoring father was sitting beside her, talking. April had about two minutes to leave for school and was leaving things very close.  
  
"What's the plan today?" I wiped Danny's sticky arms as I answered the question.  
  
"Lydia and I are going into Portland today and she's at kinder after, I'll drop her off on the way back. I know it kind of leaves you at a loose end though." I explained, setting Danny on the floor and tying his shoes.  
  
"That shouldn't be a worry Annie. I'm sure I can find some occupation for six hours."  
  
"You can start now if you like, walk Ben, Lyss, April and Jess to school." I beamed at him. Normally the kids could walk just fine by themselves, but as it was wet, cold, and foggy, I didn't want them alone on the roads while visibility was poor and there was a chance of puddle-splashing.  
  
"If you want." Charles offered sincerely.  
  
"Actually I do want. I need to get dressed still." I was wearing blue-grey slacks, under Hawkeye's robe.  
  
"Just the four is it then?" The said four children had assembled in the living room, ready for school.  
  
"Yes, I'll pick them up." I walked into the lounge and kissed them all in turn. "Be good my darlings, I love you. Be careful okay?" The nightmare had really spooked me. I made a mental note to place a call to Manhattan and the only shrink I'd ever trust with my mind later.  
  
I watched as Charles and my older children left, and then sat, much against my better wishes, Lydia and Danny in front of the TV while I showered and Edna returned from her morning walk. Stevie had requested a day off, and with Charles on hand, I had given it to her.  
  
"Mummy, I need new shoes." Lydia reminded me. So we put shoe shopping on our agenda, to be done just before we went back to the Cove. It was some time before Lydia and I agreed on a pair of shoes. Everything she wanted was too fancy and not practical enough for school. Finally the black lace- ups were agreed on, providing we also bought a new pair of socks, green, later. By the time we left, our purchase safely on Lydia's feet, we were late.  
  
"Come on Lyddie," We stood at the curb, and I saw our bus coming. I also saw a break in the traffic and stepped forward, tugging on Lydia's wrist.  
  
"Mummy no!" Lydia pulled at my hand, causing me to step backwards a fraction of an inch, I heard brakes squeal and felt a jolt as I went flying through the air and blackness hit.  
  
Miranda's Spiel: "Yes folks, a cliffhanger. Will I let Annie live this time? Remember to R&R I'm putting my favourite review in the next chapter." 


	32. October 1962 to February 1963: After The...

A/N Thankyou to you all for reviews! As usual I looked and hard for a favourite and here it is, redlady27's review! "oh man, those cliff hangers are just evil. grins I do hope Annie and Lyddie are okay. Waiting with bated breath for the next chapter. :).  
Angie"  
  
October 1962 – February 1953  
  
Pain in my head was the first thing to wake me up. I was flat on my back, I guessed from the cold, hard feel beneath me I was still lying in the road, and suddenly I heard a deep male voice.  
  
"Ma'am, please don't move." However, upon regaining semi-consciousness movement had been my instinctive response and I tried to jerk my head up. It was then I became aware of the massive pain in my right side, stretching from my shoulder to my foot. There was also a sticky flow from my head as whatever had been applied to stop the blood had moved when I did, but was now being firmly reapplied.  
  
"Ow, what happened?" I groaned, realising that my right eye wasn't going to open and the best I could make out with my left, already swollen and closed in the throes of a shiner, was a blurry person. Age, sex or race was indistinguishable though  
  
"You stepped onto the road Ma'am. I wasn't able to stop I struck you with my car. Your daughter saw me and pulled you back, but it wasn't enough. Your head hit the windscreen and you have some very serious injuries."  
  
"My daughter, Lyddie where is she?" I tried to sit up and look around for her. I could hear voices, and a child, Lydia I guessed crying. I tried to turn my head towards Lydia.  
  
"Ma'am, you have been seriously injured, please don't move, an ambulance is on the way. Your daughter is fine. You have her to thank, if you hadn't moved when you did you would have died. She's with my wife, but I can have her come over."  
  
"Yes, please!" I whispered. Lydia was by my side in a second.  
  
"Are you okay Mummy?" Lydia asked quietly. I searched out the chubby hand with my left hand, my right wouldn't move, and felt reassured by the warmth.  
  
"Mummy's fine Little One, don't you worry about it. I'm going to have to go to hospital for a bit but I'm okay."  
  
"Are you hurt?" I lied then, through gritted teeth. "But blood." I think Lydia reached for the red trickle from my lip but was stopped by the woman.  
  
"It's okay Lydia darling, I know I'm bleeding, but I'm still fine it doesn't hurt a bit" I fibbed some more as sirens came into hearing "Now listen, I want you to go with. . ." I motioned painfully towards the woman.  
  
"She said call her Betsy" Lydia added. Betsy, whoever she was took my hand.  
  
"I'll look after your daughter for you until the ambulance is here." She promised. I couldn't see or form an opinion of her, but right now, I knew I had to trust her and I thanked her.  
  
"Go with Betsy and wait for the ambulance okay? Daddy's waiting at the hospital for us now." Hawkeye would be on duty there and could take Lydia into paediatrics and leave her with a nurse, as she was quite unharmed.  
  
"Yes Mummy I love you" I managed to hug her and then blackness thankfully enveloped me, taking away my pain  
  
"Annie, thank god you're awake." I stirred when I heard a voice, and searched for its source. My hand came to rest on a chest, which I found to be a man's, however deprived of my main sense for identifying people gone I had no idea who it was. The someone took my hand and conveyed it to the face. I recognised the slim nose and silky hair at once.  
  
"Hawkeye?" I choked. "What happened?" Breathing hurt, and my voice was a short, wheezing gasp.  
  
"Shh, you were hit by a car, and thrown up onto the bonnet, your head hit the windshield and then you went over the roof of the car and landed on the road." from the way he stroked my forehead; I could tell that the cut had been dressed and my eyes bandaged, taking away my sight. "How are you feeling?"  
  
"Like a car hit me!" I groaned, there wasn't quite so much pain and I figured I'd been given morphine. "I broke my damn wrist again too!" There was a hint of a chuckle from my anxious husband. "When can I go home?"  
  
"Listen, honey, I don't know how to say this but you're bleeding internally, you have several fractured ribs and most likely a punctured lung, I'm not allowed to open you up because you're my wife. There are no other doctors here at present. The only other cutter is up to his wrists in surgery already, and we can't get him out, swapping will kill the patient. Another surgeon has been called in, but the traffic's bad and he's taking his time. He had to come up from South Portland. If he doesn't make it here inside the half hour Anne, you're going to keep bleeding."  
  
"They're just going to let me die?" I said, "I just have to lay here and die?"  
  
"Honey, I am not allowed legally to operate on you, I can't help it." Hawkeye was struggling with tears.  
  
"Hawkeye, I can't just die! I have the kids and everyone to think of, I can't let that happen."  
  
"Baby you have to understand, unless there's someone who can operate on you, you're going to die." Hawkeye told me, hating the very words as he spoke.  
  
"I am NOT just going to lay here and die!" I repeated firmly.  
  
"Sit up then." Hawkeye muttered bitterly. Seeing my filthy look, he repented hastily, repeating his earlier statement about the lack of surgeons.  
  
"Daniel?" I murmured tiredly.  
  
"He's my father, your father-in-law, they won't let him do it." Hawkeye was crying now. I don't know how things were going in terms of injuries, but Hawkeye knew he was watching me die, and could do stuff all about it.  
  
"There's no blood link." I complained. I'd only ever felt this way once before, when I had been shot, only this time it was worse. There was no pain, yet I'd never been so tired in my life.  
  
"But there's a marriage link baby." Hawkeye said holding my hand to his lips, I could feel the tears on his cheeks and I tried to brush them away.  
  
"Charles?" I said wearily, fighting the urge to sleep. "We have April, but he'll pretend he's never seen me before and he can be here in less than twenty minutes." Hawkeye whooped and kissed me, yelling something about how I'd saved my life, and left the room at a run.  
  
"Mrs Pierce, please don't try to open your eyes, you have stitches nearby and they may tear." The voice of the nurse was the first thing I heard some time later. I found I could neither see nor talk, as a tube had been inserted to help me breathe. I guessed, correctly as I later found out, that this was because of a punctured lung I couldn't remember my talk with Hawkeye before I'd gone into surgery.  
  
"Mrs Pierce, you are in the intensive care ward of Portland General Hospital. Several days ago you were in a car accident, and you suffered serious internal injuries, you were operated on, and you have been here for 21 days since. You will find that you are unable to see, as there was some serious damage to your right eye, so please do not panic as it should heal. Would you like your husband?" Something in my gesture told her yes and she left.  
  
"Annie, my sweet, you're awake." I turned towards Hawkeye's voice. "Hey baby, I know you can't see, your left eye's too swollen to even try and your right eye is bandaged so I'm going to sit here, and hold your hand okay, so you know where I am." He did just that, taking my left hand in his. He was playing with my rings, giving me reassurance that I needed very much.  
  
"Do you want to know everything?" I nodded, wanting to know how badly I had been hurt and when I could go home, Hawkeye took a deep breath and squeezed my hand.  
  
"Fractured clavicle, humerus and radius on your right, mostly old Korea breaks there. Your wrist is fractured in four places, and your hand shattered, NYE of 52 all over again. Your left got away with just bruises. Every rib left and right is fractured, some in three or even four places, your right lung was punctured in five places, and on your left, a broken rib missed your heart by a fraction of an inch. Your right hip that took the impact has been pinned in two places, your knee has been reconstructed and your lower leg is lucky to be intact, it was a fight to keep it, it was shattered so badly. Beyond fractures you have, bruised and bleeding organs, and they had to bring in a neurosurgeon to stop the bleeding on your brain, you'd started a haemorrhage, and your optical nerve was damaged, when you get out of here, you'll need glasses. Your cheeks were very badly cut up too when you hit the road and the windscreen, and you might find you can't feel much. You've had in total over 60 hours of surgery. They're doing their best for you." I wanted to ask Hawkeye something I couldn't, but he knew anyway.  
  
"Your back wasn't broken, you're very lucky, but with all the damage to your hip and right leg you'll be lucky if you walk again. You have been showing signs of movement, just toe wiggling, you're not capable of anything else yet. But you do seem to be showing good signs of nerve healing. You know something else Anne? We're bloody lucky you're still alive. You're pregnant." I tried to talk and wound up choking on my tube. It was a frightening second before I could breathe and Hawkeye continued.  
  
"You're due in July, once they knew you were pregnant, they fought extra hard to keep you and the baby alive. It's going to be a long time, you'll probably spend most of the first trimester in here, but the baby is still alive, you never showed any signs of miscarriage, god only knows how you didn't. This baby is a miracle." I was getting tired, and so Hawkeye left, I went back to sleep.  
  
I didn't take to the treatments as well as they'd hoped however and I developed an infection in one or two of my many scars, and a painful, bleary time followed, about as clear and memorable as the time I'd developed an infection in the bullet wound back in Korea.  
  
"Babes, thank god you're awake, I need you to stay with me here, this is important." Hawkeye jumped as soon as my eyes opened. I was still feverish and in a lot of pain.  
  
"Listen, honey, I don't want to say this, but if I don't ask you I'll regret it forever. Your body is working very hard to keep your baby alive. Too hard, you're not recovering as well as you should, and you went into cardiac arrest a week ago. We've been given a choice seeing as you seem to be on the mend from the post-operative infection you had, they can perform a hysterectomy and thus abort the pregnancy, ensuring your survival, or you can keep the baby and risk your and the baby's lives." He handed me a pen and paper, as I was yet unable to talk.  
  
"NO! They are not going to take away my baby. I've already lost Adam and the baby in Korea, I'm not going to give up on a third child. I don't care if they think it will help me recover faster, if the baby has survived this much he deserves this chance at life, don't take it away. I'll risk it." I scribbled furiously, my curled script filling the page quickly. It was illegible, as I was still blind, but Hawkeye read it, saw the word NO, amongst the scribble, and nodded.  
  
"Okay honey, be it on your own head. If you hadn't woken, I would have told them to operate, but you do  
understand if you take a turn for the worse, they will operate again." I saw the logic in that and with a renewed reason to live, I fell asleep quickly.  
  
I got a little better more rapidly after that, and the doctors agreed that my miracle baby and I had a better chance of survival, and full recovery. There were no guarantees that the baby would live to term, or should he be born alive, that he would be completely healthy, but I was prepared for anything.  
  
It was stretching to be six weeks in the ICU, and it was now into December. I hadn't seen the kids since I last saw Lydia, and I was fretting for them, as I lay, unable to see, move and speak. I hated the helplessness that came with the injuries, and just plain wanted out. However until my lungs were strong enough to breathe, I wasn't even allowed to be wheeled places. It was tiring, and I decided I much preferred hospitals as a nurse, not as a patient.  
  
"This one's from Alice and Roger, she says that the baby is doing very well now. Card, letters and gifts had quickly arrived as I wasn't allowed any more visitors apart from Hawkeye and Margaret. Even Frank Burns had sent me flowers every week that I had been in and six bunches of flowers had arrived from Ft Wayne. I was very touched by all the concern, but hated it, because I couldn't thank anyone for the kindness.  
  
"How are the kids?" It was a week later, almost Christmas and my tube had come out I could talk now, but they weren't going to move me out of intensive care. I didn't like this, but because I was pregnant, despite appearing very healthy, they weren't taking me out of a place where I'd be under constant supervision. Movement was returning to me slowly, however I was confined to flat on my back with the physiotherapist manipulating my joints. My arm and shoulder were healing and had recently been freed from the plaster.  
  
"So-so, Danny sleeps in our bed for comfort. Ben's okay, cares for April, who's a wreck, Jess is sleeping with Dad every night, and doesn't want to go to school, Felicity's a battler, just like her mother, holding us all together I should think, she looks after Lydia, who's good, but won't travel in cars unless Lyssa's there. Margaret wanted to visit at Christmas, but she's only going to worry about you, so I told her we'd be fine. Besides Stevie's got her hands full without Margaret bringing the girls as well, I think. I haven't told anybody about the baby." All of my friends from Korea knew I had been hurt and flowers and gifts had arrived, along with offers, politely declined, for help and the knowledge I was pregnant would just cause more concern.  
  
"That's good, I don't want them to worry anymore than they already will be." I was still unable to see out of my right eye, but the swelling in my left had gone down and I could see Hawkeye as a blurry dark-haired object, as opposed to Mum, a light-haired blob, my only other permitted visitor.  
  
"You're so tough my girl." He murmured, kissing me gently "You're famous all over the hospital, you and the miracle baby. They've even talked about moving you into casualty soon."  
  
"Great, can I see the kids yet?" That was my main concern.  
  
"Well, maybe, if you're well enough to be in casualty we'll see what we can do. You are aware that it's not really allowed as they're all over a year and under 12."  
  
"Do your best." I smiled, stretching my recently repaired right hand a little. It had recovered pretty well and it seemed with practise, I would still be able to play the piano and have full use of my hand.  
  
"I have to go, I hate to leave, but Stevie's alone with the six of them." Hawkeye said.  
  
"It's her job baby." I sighed, "Okay darling. I love you." It felt so good to be able to say that again and I settled down feeling better than I had in a while. Sleep didn't come easily though as my hip was quite painful and it wasn't until the doctor gave me something for the pain that I slept.  
  
Three long weeks later and I was moved into casualty, still pregnant, still mostly blind, and still immobile. I still was not allowed to have any of the kids in either and that got me pretty upset, so I spent a large portion of the time between physiotherapy sessions sedated.  
  
"Come on Mrs Pierce, don't you give up now!" My right leg wobbled and I clutched at Hawkeye for support. It felt like an eternity, but after slow painful lessons, I was beginning to walk and use my arms again.  
  
"Come on baby you can do it, the sooner you start walking, the sooner you can go home my girl." Hawkeye said.  
  
"It hurts." I whinged through gritted teeth, tears forming in my eyes. "It really hurts."  
  
"Anne darling, I know it hurts, but you've got to do it. I believe in you, you can do it." Hawkeye said, holding onto my hand as I fought to stay vertical. I managed a sort of shuffle forwards, hardly moving my leg and not lifting it off the ground.  
  
"Mrs Pierce, as soon as you learn to bend that knee, you're halfway there" The physio encouraged. Learning to walk again was a slow and painful process, as I had to learn to use my reconstructed hip and knee.  
  
"It hurts, so much." I gasped, bending my knee up and lifting my foot, slowly I took a painful step.  
  
"It'll get better with practise darling, three more steps and you can sit down." Hawkeye was in front of me, walking backwards as I struggled along, tears sliding down my cheeks.  
  
"I can, I'm going to." I muttered through clenched teeth, continuing the walk. I collapsed forward onto Hawkeye, and he and the physio helped me into a wheel chair. Once I was sitting, things were less painful. I wheeled myself over to the table and Hawkeye lifted me up. Thankfully I was told the session would end with a massage.  
  
I was back the next day, however, as I had daily appointments, trying to learn to walk again, and it had been another struggle to take even five little steps from Hawkeye's arms to the wheelchair  
  
"Mrs Pierce, you've got to work with this knee." I winced as he lifted my leg, flexing my hip and knee. "The sooner you get it working, the sooner it's going to stop hurting, can you bend your knee right up so your calf touches your thigh?"  
  
"Yeah." I muttered, obeying. "And call me Annie."  
  
"Okay then Annie, last thing for today, then you can go. Try and put your foot flat on the other side of your left leg. This means twisting your hip so your leg passes across the front of your body." I managed to do that, crossing my leg over.  
  
"That doesn't hurt so much." I said softly, smiling. It was progress, even if only a tiny amount.  
  
"You're doing better than I expected, so we'll try something new. See if you can sit up. Mr Pierce, you'll have to help her here." Soon I was sitting up, my nose brushing my knee.  
  
"Annie, you're doing so good, you know what, I think I'll con Matron into letting the kids come in tomorrow!"  
  
"Thanks Hawkeye." I smiled. I knew he wouldn't Matron wouldn't let the kids in no matter what.  
  
"Okay Annie, lay back down, move your leg back over and straighten it out." I obeyed. "Can you get yourself off the table?" That was a bit much and the men lifted me into the wheelchair.  
  
It was another long session a few weeks later and I had been up and about for most of it, staggering around on a frame or with help from the physio or Hawkeye and I was exhausted and in pain as I sat in the wheelchair.  
  
"Hawkeye I can go back to my room, you go home to the kids. They need you more than I do." Christmas had come and gone, it was nearly February, but at Christmas I'd taken a turn for the worse, hurting my hip very badly and had not been able to see the kids, though I was to have been allowed downstairs on Christmas Day.  
  
"Annie," Hawkeye protested. He never liked leaving me.  
  
"Go, it's bad enough that Mummy's away for so long, nearly three whole months, but it's worse if Daddy's gone too" I said stubbornly, pushing with my arms to get my chair moving. My right arm was benefiting immensely from pushing the chair myself and the nurses were now under orders to let me do that alone wherever I was going.  
  
"Mr Pierce, please your wife has a point." The physio put in quietly.  
  
"Annie, I hate to leave you when you're in pain."  
  
"The sooner I get up to my room," I said, pushing the button on the elevator to get up to my floor. "The sooner I get painkillers and the sooner I will be fine!" The elevator door opened and I pushed myself in.  
  
"I'll just come up to the room with you okay?" Hawkeye insisted.  
  
"Then you're going straight back okay?" I said bordering asking with demanding.  
  
"Alright." Hawkeye finally agreed and he kept his word, leaving once I was back in casualty.  
  
By the time it was late February, I had been in hospital for almost four months, and I was on the mend. I was still pregnant, and even showing, with the baby, so far as we could see, still wonderfully healthy. Walking was now my major struggle and they weren't going to let me leave until I could walk across a room and back alone.  
  
"Annie, all you have to do is show us that you can walk properly, without help, and obvious pain and you're free."  
  
"Well, I can do it." I slid off the table and stood straight. My legs were regaining strength and I could now support my own weight alone. My arms were also better, and I knew would be fine after a few weeks back home, lifting weights in the form of the kids.  
  
"Remember, across the room and back, that's all I'm asking of you." I was reminded as I began walking, I turned when I reached the wall and then made my way back. Although my hips were still stiff and ached slightly, it wasn't so bad.  
  
"I did it!" I had made it back to the other side of the room, and I sat down wearily. I was still tired out easily by any activity, and I was wondering how I'd take the exertion of motherhood after four months away.  
  
"You did do it!" Mindful of my still sore ribs, Hawkeye gave me a huge hug. The last stitches and tubes had finally been removed and my body was my own again. Hawkeye was also waiting for my recovery as he'd missed a lot more than just my presence around the house.  
  
"Mr Pierce, you'd better tell your younger children to stop sleeping in Mummy's spot, because as of tomorrow night, she's going to be needing it!"  
  
"Thankyou!" I realised I was crying but, I hadn't felt it There was little feeling in my cheeks, and it wasn't until I tasted the salt that I realised I was crying. My sense of taste was a little dulled too, but was returning in time.  
  
"Ow!" I had gone to wipe my eyes but had smacked into my glasses. I removed the glasses and wiped the tears from my eyes, being careful, as I couldn't see what I was doing anymore. It was going to be hard recovering properly from the operations and crash. My ribs and hip were going to be painful for a very long time, my sight would never be the same again and the feeling in my face was a matter of time as to whether it returned at all.  
  
"Careful honey," Hawkeye said, kissing the side of my head. My hair had been cut too, to allow for the surgery and I now had a very short bob of tight ringlets. It was kind of cute, but I missed my locks.  
  
"I'm starving, and hospital food isn't much, but I want lunch. Now you go home and let the kids know I'm coming home okay?" Hawkeye left without protest this time as I'd be home the next day.  
  
"Great, stairs" I looked up as Daniel took my hand and helped me out of the car. Stairs were still an incredibly painful feat for me and I'd forgotten exactly how many stairs there were in my house.  
  
"We'll help you bubs, don't worry." Hawkeye had my other hand, walking me towards them, and then slowly and painfully up and into the front hall. There wasn't a child to be seen, as they were all at school, except for Danny whom Stevie had taken out for the day so I could get settled in bed.  
  
It felt so good to be settled into my own bed again. I had moved over to Hawkeye's side, so that my right side, the worse injured of the two was on the outside, and so that when Hawkeye slept beside me there was les risk of accidentally hurting me.  
  
"Hawkeye I'm so happy to be home." I grinned once I was comfortable. I was in a semi-sitting position, the baby bulge just visible beneath the blankets.  
  
"Listen you go to sleep. We'll wake you when the kids get back." Daniel was sitting on the end of the bed, rubbing one of my feet. Hawkeye had closed the clinic for a day to get me home in one piece. No one in the Cove minded though, they understood.  
  
"Okay Dad."  
  
"Dad, can you take care of things for a while? I want to just lie here with Annie for a while okay?"  
  
"Sure have fun kids, and not that much fun either." Daniel left agreeably.  
  
"Dad, you think too much." I laughed while Hawkeye settled on the pillow beside me.  
  
"It's all well and good to have little Danny by my side, but I did miss having you." He put his arm around me.  
  
"I missed having you." I agreed, lifting his hand from where it rested on my neck and kissed it. "I can't believe I'm finally home. I'm so glad. And I really can't believe I'm pregnant!"  
  
"Do you think the troops will mind?" Hawkeye asked, he hadn't told them either, in case I lost the baby.  
  
"Not really. Felicity will always welcome a new arrival. If it's a boy Ben won't care, Danny will love to not be the baby anymore, Lydia and Jess should be fine, and April, well, it shouldn't worry her."  
  
"You're right. Let's go to sleep for a bit, there's only an hour until Lydia gets home from kinder okay? Means Stevie's bringing our Mate back too."  
  
"Okay." I agreed and settled down for the first sleep with my husband in a long time that I had missed very much.  
  
"Annie, Hawkeye, wake up." It was Dad. "There are six children dying to see their mother here, I couldn't bear to wake you when Danny and Lydia got home, but now they're all back and they've waited an hour already."  
  
"Thanks Dad." I smiled, "I know they're desperate to see me, but I want to see them one at a time, even the twins."  
  
"You want to make them feel individual and special huh?" Dad smiled and I nodded.  
  
"We'll start with April okay?" Dad said, "Then Jess and move through like that, the ones who were most upset first and then Lyss, who was the most okay with it all, last."  
  
"Yep Hawkeye shift yourself, April needs that spot." Grumbling with love, Hawkeye moved.  
  
"Mummy!" April ran into the room, and stopped at the sight of me in bed.  
  
"April! Honey come here!" Hawkeye lifted the 7yo girl onto the bed and I embraced her, trying not to make a noise when I accidentally stretched still-sore muscles. "Oh my Angel-face I missed you so much, you've gotten so big, and oh my gosh, you're missing more teeth! My little girl, how have you been?"  
  
"I missed you too, I was scared when Daddy had to go make you better. I thought you would die. I didn't want you to die, but I'm so happy you're home." April held me while I rubbed her back. Although Lydia had seen me be hit by the car, April took it harder than her baby sister. I guessed it was her already broken family that made those feelings arise in her, either that or the fact that her Daddy was responsible for her Mummy's life.  
  
"But it's okay now Angel I'm just fine, I'm a little bit tired, but it's all going to be okay. You don't need to be scared anymore. I'm not going to die my girl." I cuddled her for a little longer and then said although I wanted to have her stay a little more I had to say hello to everyone. April understood and Danny was brought in.  
  
"Mummy! Are you okay?" His indigo eyes were wide. "Daddy and Uncle Charles said that you was been hitted by a car and you was hurt! But it's okay Mummy, I sleeped in your bed every single night to make sure you'd come back, I just knowed it was going to make you come back and it did!"  
  
"Really! You knew that? Wow, my little Mate, you are so clever! You just know everything don't you? I'm so proud of you my boy!" I buried my face in the sweetly chubby neck. I'd missed all my kids but for some reason my youngest son was the one I'd missed most.  
  
"Yes I did and I was right!" Danny finished proudly. It was Jess's turn after a final cuddle, and nervously my daughter came into the room, scared of what she might find.  
  
"Baby, my precious one, come here, darling don't be scared, I'm okay, really." It took a couple minutes of gentle coaxing, from myself, and then Daniel, before she came and sat on the bed beside me.  
  
"Are you okay Mummy?" Jess asked, her green eyes scared for me.  
  
"Quite baby." I assured her. "There's no need to be scared, I'm home now. I know I was away for a long time, but I'm not going away from you again."  
  
"I thought that you would do what Daddy's Mummy did to him, never come back." Jess knew that she'd been named after Daniel's first wife, Hawkeye's mother and that Katharine had died while Hawkeye was just a boy.  
  
"I am doing everything in my power to make sure I never do that pretty girl." I assured her.  
  
"I don't want daddy to be alone again." Jess said.  
  
"Neither do I." I shared a glance with Hawkeye.  
  
"Listen my darling, I think it's about time Lydia got a chance to see me. So give me another hug and a kiss and tell Grandpa to send in Lydia in a few minutes, I need to talk to Daddy first.." Jess obliged the kiss and cuddle warmly.  
  
"I love you so much Mummy, it is the best feeling to hug you." Jess informed me seriously as she left. Daniel popped in to confirm the five- minute wait before Lydia came in and I turned to Hawkeye.  
  
"Honey, what Jess said then, were you really worried about me following Katharine's footsteps?" I asked as Hawkeye sat down on the bed.  
  
"It happens, Dad mightn't have said, but his mom died when he was 13, and grandpa's mother died giving birth. It's a Pierce trait, our wives die." Hawkeye was plainly scared at that thought.  
  
"Darling, I didn't die though did I? I think I'm going to break that tradition." I smiled, pushing my glasses onto my nose. Hawkeye bent down and kissed me.  
  
"Just keep breaking that tradition okay?" He whispered. Lydia came in a few minutes later, a little nervous, but quite alright otherwise.  
  
"Mummy, I saw the car, I'm sorry I didn't make you move." She whispered, cuddling against me.  
  
"Oh, my darling, you did make me move. Don't you see Little One, that if you didn't pull when you did I would have died? You did just fine. And you were so brave." I kissed her dark little head. I loved my daughter a lot, and I didn't want her to feel bad about my accident.  
  
"Can you get up yet mummy?" Lydia asked.  
  
"Not right now pet, maybe tomorrow though. I'm very tired dearest."  
  
"Well Mummy, when you do, I want to be there and hold your hand." Lydia said.  
  
"Thankyou my beautiful Lydia. But you've got to go, it's Ben's turn now." She kissed me and left. Ben climbed up onto the bed and gave me a kiss.  
  
"I missed you Mum, are you better?"  
  
"Nearly," I wrapped my arms around him, he was studying me intently, for signs of obvious scars. Fascinated by medicine, he loved inspecting cuts and grazes.  
  
"I'll show you my operation scars tomorrow Sport." I had a few beauties on my side, under my hairline, near my shoulder, and my knee.  
  
"You will? Thankyou Mum!" Ben kissed me. "You know I was worried about you, but Ma said you weren't going to die so I knew you wouldn't."  
  
"Well, she was right wasn't she?" I began to tickle Ben behind his knees, and he fought me off laughing, he'd inherited Hawkeye's main ticklish spot. Felicity came in a few minutes later and my pretty eldest daughter sat beside me quietly, just happy to be with me again.  
  
"I missed you, but I knew you'd be okay. I'm just happy to be able to have you hold me again."  
  
"I'm happy to have you in my arms Princess." She lay snuggled against me for a little, and then sat up suddenly. I had felt it too, the baby had moved for the first time. It was barely definable, but at the same time obvious.  
  
"Mummy, are you having another baby?" I shared a glance with Hawkeye I wasn't going to lie to her.  
  
"Yes my darling, but don't tell your brothers or sisters. No one else knows yet, it can be our little secret."  
  
"Just you me and Daddy?" Felicity asked.  
  
"Just you, me, Daddy, Grandpa, Ma, Grandmamma and Patrick." I added.  
  
"Okay then, I won't tell anyone else, I promise." Felicity smiled.  
  
"You are such a good girl darling. Did anyone ever tell you that?" I kissed her beautiful face.  
  
"You just did." Hawkeye chimed in, joining us on the bed. The three of us cuddled for a little longer, and then the other kids joined us one-by-one, surprising me pleasantly. I shifted into the middle of the bed so they could climb in both sides and Hawkeye strategically and protectively lay on my right side, barely touching me but preventing anyone else from hurting me.  
  
Happy, safe and home again, I fell asleep quickly. My recovery had been long, slow and painful, and there seemed little to stop it being that way as I continued to recover, but it didn't matter, I had my family and that was what counted to me. 


End file.
